A/N- this chapter has been edited slightly, but not much go ahead and read it I hope you like it. i'm still not positive i'm doing it right. leave me a review, I'm dying to know what ppl are thinking!!
I do not own edward or twilight, but that doesn't mean I can't be overly obsessed with them both ;D
I rushed through the crowded airport and to the front desk. The ticket attendant stared open mouth at my arrival. I narrowed my eyes in annoyance as I waited for her to establish I was here. I needed her full attention so she wouldn't miss a single detail and get me straight on the plane.
"Ahem." I cleared my throat loudly, pulling the female attendant back to earth.
"How may I help you, sir?" she inquired, her bleached curls bouncing around her face as she looked around sheepishly as she hoped to herself that no one had been watching her stare at me.
"I need tickets to the next flight to Italy," I informed her, lowering my voice to the gentle tone I used with humans. I breathed deeply in preparation to speak again without crippling over in pain and was caught off guard by the pain as knives dove straight down my throat. How long had it been since I'd hunted last? Come to think of it, how long had it been since I'd even had to worry about hunting?
The lady looked down, though not nearly as flustered by my voice as I was used to, though my face stayed vivid in her mind. I caught a faint glimpse of it as she pushed it aside and attempted to remember what she was looking for, but that glimpse caught me off guard. I was used to seeing my face as beautiful or threatening in the eyes of a human, but this time the thoughts had been based around something entirely different. My face showed an unreal amount of pain that even I hadn't seen on myself before. Even after I had first left her. I never realized how I'd failed to hide the pain I was in, and this human was feeling sympathetic. Her thoughts were twisting around how she thought that there had to be something she could do to make me feel better because to her, I looked ready to commit suicide. Funny, how right she was.
Oh my what should I say? She was thinking worriedly to herself. Is there anything else wrong sir? Oh no, too subtle. How about will that be all? Hmm. No. Something that gets to the point. Oh no, what was the location again. Um, England? She began typing the wrong flight address.
"The next flight to Italy," I repeated. Sliding a golden express card in front of her I added, "Price doesn't matter." The lady nodded fiercely, sending her curls flying and her scent wavering towards me. Sure, it smelled nowhere near as good as her or most other human's I'd smelt, but I was thirsty. Far more thirsty then I should ever let myself get. I sucked in a painful breath and held it. I didn't need to breath, why bother? Then again, I was about to die anyway, what did a little more pain matter? I breathed out as the attendant handed me a ticket.
"It boards in five minutes, sir." she told me. Good luck. She snorted in mind. I walked away before she could open her mouth to add anything else.
I was glad I was rushed. I didn't want to sit and wait and have to fight off my urge to fall down, curl up and sob my tearless cry. The human's here would look at me like I was crazy, like I had no reason to act with such vain. No human would ever understand. If any of them had been put in such pain none of them would have made it this long.
As I settled into my seat, the last seat in business, I brought back that image of myself that I had seen in that lady's mind. I was shocked by how much of me was truly gone, I barely even had recognized myself. The usual monster that I saw in others eyes when I was this thirsty had vanished. Hidden under layers of such pain that not even I knew existed. Of course, I knew that they existed now. I could feel it, eating away at my chest. It had already ripped out my long silenced heart and thrown it to the lion's pit and the only thing left that it could possibly do to torture me further was to take away my memory.
With that in mind, I leaned back against the airplane seat and breathed out again. I closed my eyes and dug deep into my memory, pulling out the perfect face of Bella. Ow. I opened my eyes and found myself doubled over with my arms crossed holding myself in one piece. I inhaled deeply and tried my hardest to straighten myself up. Maybe she shouldn't be the first thing I think about right now. It took quite a few minutes for me to straightening myself up again as the flight attendant debated on whether he should ask me if I needed a bag. Foolish human. He thought I was sick to my stomach. Was I? Well yes, but not in the same meaning of the word.
I was sick to my stomach at the fact that I had considered that leaving Bella would result in something better for both of us. It had killed her and was soon to kill me. How stupid for me not to think that she'd need someone to watch over her. With her luck she'd probably been nearly killed multiple times while I was gone. How did I not think of this? Anyone but Bella would be better without a hoard of vampires in town.
Whoosh. The air hissed from my mouth as if I'd been hit with a boulder square in the chest. I doubled over in the pain that resulted from just thinking her name. This was going to be far harder then I thought. Not collapsing in front of all of the human's here.
Okay, something not painful to think about. I sat back, trying to slow my ragged breathing. What would I do once I reached Volterra? Would I go straight to revealing the secret? No. I didn't want to go straight to destroying the Volturi's cover, surely that would do no good for Carlisle. Might as well be straight forward, ask them to kill me. I nodded to myself. That's what I would do. I'd ask them to kill me, and if they refused then I'd go straight to plan B, reveal the secret. That, no doubt, was a way to insure my destruction.
Now, all things important out of the way, was time to visit what I'd been putting off. I pulled my knees up to my chest and breathed in, holding it. Closing my eyes and turning the voices in my head down until they were like fuzz on a tv, I brought back the picture of my dead love. I spent the rest of the flight remembering. Every touch. Every word. Every breath. The sound of her old heartbeat rang softly in my ears, even though I knew I would never again hear it anywhere else.