A/N- i'm not sure if i'm going to continue. i needta know wht u guys think. should i continue writin as the book says or do it my own way or just not at all. shrugs, idk, review, let me know

nope, nothing here's mine.

Humans. Their petty little brains and weak senses could never offer a fight to vampires. We could kill them effortlessly, even if we didn't look absolutely stunning to them. With our speed, our poison jutting from our razor sharp teeth, our indestructible everything and iron grip, why did we even need to look so appealing? Hmm. This had always been a mystery to me. Yet another mystery that I would never have the chance to figure out.

I was stalking through the alleys, looking for a crowded place where humans were rushing off towards their small offices and other jobs. The crowds were small, consisting of no more then three people walking together at time. Many times I would reach a group of five or six people, but I would always find an excuse not to hunt this group. Not smelling appetizing enough, not in a good enough place for the Volturi to catch me, being too close from where they were going . . . I would have to start with something simpler. With just one person.

I searched through the city, debating on where to start. It had to be near eight now. I found myself in a near abandoned parking garage. One small car with a glossy black paint job rested peacefully in the corner as its whistling driver approached it causally. I envied his look of absolute carelessness. He had nothing to worry about, he was at the head of his business, just got engaged to the love of his life, having yet another beautiful morning. I began my silent approach. This one human would surely break me from my slump, lead me past my ridiculous excuses I kept using whenever I had an open opportunity to kill a defenseless human.

He had paused in front of his car to unlock it, stopping for a moment to check his hair in his mirror. I would take pleasure in this, I would scare him. I was behind him in the blink of an eye, within view as he looked into his side mirror. I heard his gasp, I was aware that he had turned around, I knew that he had been thinking that I was there to rob him, I had felt the relief wave through his mind as he realized that I must not have been there after all. That was because by the time he had even started with the gasp, I had been halfway across the parking garage.

I was torn. I couldn't believe the face that I had seen in the reflection of that review mirror had been mine. The face resembled the monster I had only once before. The monster I had seen in Bella's eyes when I first caught her scent. Only this time it was most definitely worse. Under layers of anguish, guilt and torture was a beast, craving for not only the death of himself, but of others. Then, as I had been turning I had found myself face to face with the same person who had trapped this monster last time it had been let lose. Carlisle.

The man, my father in all ways possible, had been frowning at me. In disgust, disapproval. In regret, pity. In confusion, surprise. I never had deserved the pride, the love, the forgiveness, that this man had given me after all the sins and other bad things I had done. If I was to go out in anyway, it would not be in a way that would offend the one vampire I had ever been able to look up to and admire for being a good person. Him and Esme.

Esme. Oh no. I had forgotten all about her. Her and the others. She must have sent a fire squad for me now. My death. She would hear nothing of it. Even if no one else was going she'd muster up her courage and come stop me herself. I would have to do this and soon. I'd have to do this in a way that wouldn't hurt my family or offend my father. I'd do this the most pleasant, harmless way possible.

I'd step into and die under the beauty of what had left me so long ago in this endless night.