Hey...what more can I say?

"Oh, Lazy Yomi! Wake up! You're gonna miss all this!", Tomo screamed. She had been anxiously standing outside Yomi's house for the last twelve hours. Indeed, she had just gone home long enough to change into her school uniform and pack a lunch before heading out to stand on the sidewalk outside Yomi's house. She considered bringing her stereo with her to hold above her head but some tiny voice in the back of her head convinced her otherwise. Strange things occur at night when the Cosmos believes no one is looking. Here shall be listed some of the sights Tomo had seen whilst waiting:

The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, Jimmy Hoffa in a jogging suit, a cosplayer weilding two pieces of toast yelling out "These pieces shall protect me!!", Sasquatch on a moped, Liberace cruising by in a sequin-encrusted car blaring the most blasphemous of black metal, King Arthur returning from Avalon, The Black Plague, and an accurate recreation of Columbus landing in the Caribbean.

Thusly, the last of the elephant train moved out of sight as dawn broke. Tomo sighed in despondence, Yomi missed all the fun…When Yomi eventually DID emerge from her room that Tomo referred to as the 'Bespectacled Cavern', she was none too pleased.

"Tomo…were you the one making all that noise last night?", Yomi groaned.

"Uh-uh!", Tomo shook her head. "That was probably the exodus of alligators down the road around midnight."

"….What?", Yomi responded, shaking her head. "How long have you been out here Tomo?"

"Awhile?", answered Tomo in the form of a question.

"That is correct.", said Alex Trebek as he sauntered by.

"What makes YOU excited for school?", Yomi asked.

"Not school, doo-doo head! I'm excited to be the well-known pretty and crazy high school girl!", Tomo cheered.

"The 'Wildcat high school girl', eh?", Yomi said.

"Why, oh, why do you read my mind Yomi!?", Tomo wept copiously into her hands. "That was supposed to be my line!"

"Sorry…", was all Yomi could say.

"Oh well! Let's go!", Tomo shouted, dragging the less-than-content Yomi behind her.

"Tomo…do you even know where the school is?", Yomi asked, noticing the odd amount of rickshaws passing by as well as the unnatural amount of dark-skinned individuals on the street. The place smelled of flowers and curry.

"I don't think we're in Tokyo anymore. In fact, I don't think we're even in JAPAN!", Yomi protested.

People on the street turned and gave her strange looks that caused her to blush profusely.

"You're right!", Tomo said, turning and dragging Yomi back in the opposite direction.

They passed by Yomi's house on the way back and, continuing past there, they soon found themselves in front of the school edifice. Tomo shivered. What the heck would she do without Yomi? Join a club? Only if there's an ADHD Club. Join a sports team? Only if there's a Ice-cream Scarfing team. Gods forbid, do her homework?

That was NOT something Tomo wanted to think about. In fact, it made her feel rather sick.

'Responsibility….ick…', she thought.

"Hey, Tomo.", Yomi called to the girl, waving her hand in front of the glazed eyes of her friend.

"Huh?", Tomo responded.

"We're not even inside the building and you're already not paying attention? Seriously Tomo, get it together!"

Tomo grasped her head in her hands and fell forward in pain. She writhed about the ground as if her brain were betraying her.

"GAH!! TH-THE FORESHADOWING!! IT'S JUST TOO MUCH!! AHHH!!"

With that Tomo's head exploded in a rain of brain pieces, skull bits, confetti and candy.

The story could end here, but this is only the third chapter so give me a goddamn break!

So, with the power that great authors possess, Jay raised Tomo from the dead with a flick of his pen. It's simple when one is super-awesome like me!

"Oh, would you look at that.", Yomi commented as her and Tomo continued walking into the school as if nothing had stymied their progress.

"Hey, look! It's the class sheets!", Tomo pulled Yomi towards the posted sheet, standing on her tiptoes to peer over the assembled crowd.

Yomi prayed to God, Buddha and every incarnation of Vishnu that she would not be in the same class as Tomo.

"WOOHOO!! We're together again! We really must be inseparable!", Tomo yelled, clinging to Yomi's back happily.

"You have got to be kidding me..", Yomi mumbled.

"We're like bread and napkins."

"There is no God…."

"We're like copy machines and butts."

"Why me…"

"We're like Michael Jackson and five-year-olds."

At that moment Yomi's glasses cracked directly down the middle, between the lenses, and fell from her face.

"DAMMIT!"

Tomo and Yomi marched their collective ass up to Class three and sat themselves one behind the other, or more specifically, Tomo behind Yomi.

"Man, another year together! What CAN'T we do!?", Tomo expounded.

"I need new glasses…", Yomi grumbled as she gazed sadly at her hastily taped-up glasses.

"You look like a real nerd now!"

All morning. All damn morning Yomi had taken Tomo's idiocy. She stood and turned on her raven-tressed friend. The anger burned from deep within the tiny corners of her soul.

"YOMI PUUUUNNCCHH!!"

Tomo was sent clear across the room, her trajectory causing the desks in her way to sail through the air; the people within them included.

Tomo's body lay smouldering against the back wall. The students looked on in awe.

"Yomi….w-where did you learn that?", Tomo groaned.

"From…a friend.", Yomi grinned, sitting back in her seat.

No one saw Tomo crack her own grin.

In moments she was back on her feet.

"TOMO KIICCKKK!!"

Yomi was expecting such an attack and dodged out of the way just in time for Tomo to crash her inexorably flaming foot into the teacher's desk, sending the girl flailing.

At that moment the door slid open and Yukari stepped inside, observing the scene.

She was unsure if someone had laced her coffee.

"…and that's why Josef Stalin was actually a woman.", Yukari finished her obtuse lecture as the bell rang to signal the end of the day.

Tomo bolted out the door. Well, she bolted as best she could with the atrocious limp she had acquired. Limp, limp, limp all the way to her 'Special Place'. Upon reaching her required destination she fell down crying beneath a candy corn tree. She cried out all her internal turmoil. She always had to be the strong one….Strong willed that is, Yomi had the better fist…

"Maybe I should calm the heck down sometimes…", She looked up at the sky and watched two dinosaurs in F-16's streak across the sky. They somehow reminded her of the bet she had made with Yomi. She would not lose that bet, darn it!

"That's no way to talk, Tomo! You'll win this bet and Yomi will be your willing pawn!" she laughed, but then the previous thoughts re-entered her brain. "Ok, maybe you can calm down just a bit….but as long as you stay annoying!"

"If that is your goal, you will not succeed."

Tomo sprang to her feet and came eye-to-eye with Yomi who grinned in return.

"How did you make it here!?"

"You led me here, remember? I don't have THAT bad of a memory.", Yomi said, sitting beside Tomo on the perfectly pruned grass. In fact, no one knows why that grass was so perfect. I say it is unicorns.

"But how did you make it past the troll? You don't know the password!"

"I took the long route past the oasis.", Yomi answered.

"Oh….how much did you hear..?", Tomo asked, switching the topic.

"Just your third year goal."

"That's good…", Tomo mumbled.

"Huh?"

"Oh, nothing."

"Huh?"

"I said nothing…."

"Huh?"

"Yomi.."

"Huh?"

"You have a fairy in your ear."

"WHAT THE FUCK!?"

Yomi dug her finger into her ear canal and extracted a chittering little beast that flew away on gossamer soft wings.

Tomo let out a small giggle and smiled. Yet, Yomi noticed something else.

"What's wrong, Tomo?", she asked, noticing the tears streaming down the girl's face.

"Yomi! I was scared today! Horrified!", Tomo admitted.

"Scared of what?"

"School, darn it! I was afraid we wouldn't be together!"

"So, you admit that YOU'RE the one that can't live without ME.", Yomi said.

"That's right! Dammit, Yomi!", Tomo said, pulling the girl into a hug. "Kiss me!"

And thus they shared a morbidly passionate kiss which soon evolved into a copious love-making session.

Well….that COULD have happened, but it didn't. Alas, it was fun, wasn't it? But let us press the rewind button here and try again.

"School, darn it! I was afraid we wouldn't be together!"

Yomi thought for a moment and then responded.

"You're…right….it would be strange."

"Woohoo!! Now I feel SOOOO much better! Like after going to the bathroom or something!"

"Err…does this mean you're going back to hyper old you again?"

"Is that what you want?", Tomo said, hooding her eyes and smirking.

"Actually…yeah. But! You'll still have changed by third year and I'll win that bet!", Yomi proposed.

"Hah! I knew it turned you on!", Tomo shouted, hopping up from a seated position.

"What!?"

"I knew it! I knew it!", Tomo teased as she hopped around Yomi.

"Stop it!"

"Ahahah!!", Tomo laughed.

Yomi sighed. "You're such a bother.

"A sexy bother!"

Thusly, Yomi applied the piledriver and all was at peace.