All right!! More Flutter'd Out craziness!
Yomi stared out her window and alluded to the fact that her rear end was itchy and she had a hangnail on her right index finger. A few moments before, she had nearly battered down a wall of her room with Tomo's thick skull after Tomo had discovered Yomi's hidden stash of Vegemite. Now the two sat separate, Yomi by the window and Tomo sequestered off in her own corner.
Not a word broke through that icy silence. As still and grim as the fjords of Scandinavia they sat. Occasionally there was a bleat of a car horn or the hooting of a Sasquatch to let them know that indeed, life still went on.
Regardless, Yomi knew deep down that Tomo would keep the secret of her love for the acquired taste of that Australian delicacy.
Tomo felt a breeze on her back and turned to notice that Yomi had slid open the window, a silent plea for Tomo to leave.
Tomo stood and shuffled her way across the carpeted floor towards the window. Yet, she did not make it out before Yomi interrupted and broke the silence.
"Tomo….you won't tell anyone about…'that'….will you?"
"Nah!", Tomo grinned. "Nobody needs to know about your disgusting habits."
Yomi grimaced , slightly put off by Tomo's choice of words at that moment. But Tomo did what she does best and 'went with the flow'. "Besides! I never tell anybody your REAL secrets. C'mon, that story about the merfolk of East Germany is waaaaayyy old!"
Yomi had to crack a smile. In all the mind-altering years she has known her, Tomo had yet to tell the world, press conference or not, about any of Yomi's deeper, darker secrets. But, for the sake of irony, I shall tell you them here:
Yomi is not, in fact, fat nor pudgy in any way she simply lives in constant, heart-wrenching denial.
Despite what Tomo says, she does not own scandalous porn magazines. Well, not anymore that is…
She had an invisible pet dragon named Scorchy until she was thirteen years of age.
There was a point in time where Tomo and Yomi did indeed see one another naked. They no longer speak of this.
Yomi often torments Tomo as equally as Tomo does her. All in good fun, of course.
There is evidence that puts Yomi near the crash site of a recent UFO. No other information available.
Even with all these secrets, Tomo never spoke a one. That was one thing you could count on, besides death and taxes, was that if you had a deep, horrible secret Tomo would not speak a word of it to any man, woman, beast, carnie, or god.
"Look, Yomi…", Tomo spoke. "I'm sorry for making fun of your disgusting spread collection."
"Eh?", Yomi said, cocking her eyebrow. "You? Sorry? That's like Hitler saying sorry!"
"Oh, come on! It's not THAT bad!"
"Right, right…", Yomi assented.
"Besides, I just love to tease!", Tomo added with a less-than-becoming giggle.
"Yeah…no freakin' crap.", Yomi retorted with a snort.
"But that is simply to show that I love people.", Tomo said this with such great grandeur and implication of exaggeration that it seemed rather fraudulent.
"That can't be true…..That's like saying kicking men in the crotch is a loving gesture."
"Seriously, Yomi! You should know that half of what I say comes right out my ass!"
Yomi just licked her lips and sat back in her chair, not responding.
"Look, what do I have to do to get you to believe me?"
At this point, Yomi let loose a wild grin. An extremely horrifying grin at that. Tomo recoiled, shifting her gaze around the room for any means of quick escape.
"You know exactly what I'm going to say, don't you Tomo?"
"GAHH!! No, No YOMI!! DON'T MAKE ME DO IT!! PLEASE!!"
Tomo panted helplessly as Yomi spelled out her request. Tomo's scream echoed through the multiverse.
--
Yomi looked up from her cooking and gazed about the room. Tomo and Koyomiko were settled silently on the sofa, watching the TV with intense interest.
"Tomo, did you just scream?", she asked.
"Nuh-uh.", Tomo shook her head. "Why do you ask?"
"I could have sworn I heard you scream…."
"Must be hearing things, Yomi.", Tomo responded, never taking her eyes off the TV. "Hey Koyomiko, ya think Koharu-chan would like this movie?"
"Yeah!", Koyomiko chirped happily.
--
Yomi instantly halted her viola playing in the middle of an extended conclusion to a popular folk tune and looked about the room. The fire crackled briskly and Tomo was curled up at her feet; asleep.
'I could have sworn….'
She shrugged off the odd scream as notes once more slid off her bow and into the air.
--
"Tomo, did you just scream", Yomi asked, scanning the area for more enemies.
"Heck no! You're just hearing things! Let's go!", Tomo laughed raucously as she ran further down the road, the bracelet connecting the two eventually yanking Yomi along roughly.
--
Yomi looked up from her desk and gazed about the room curiously, gaining the attention of one of her fellow classmates.
"Miss Yomi, is everything alright?", Madoka asked.
"Yeah….everything is fine…", Yomi responded quietly, turning back to the front of the room after noticing that Tomo asleep at her desk.
--
And thusly Tomo wept as she took part in Yomi's request. The deep shade of the trees made this task all the more horrendous.
"Yomi….do I really have to do this…?", she questioned.
"You did ask me what you would need to do in order to convince me.", Yomi grinned. "Now, keep going. You're not even halfway through the tree."
Tomo wept once more, consenting to the fact that the backbone of a herring is surprisingly durable.
After the tree fell, Tomo was forced to drag it back to Yomi's place where she went about carving it into the proper shape.
"Yomi, this is just torture!", Tomo groaned, sliding the pocketknife over the wood grain.
"Tomo, don't worry. Once you finish, we'll have fun together, ok?", Yomi said with a mischievous smile.
"Ooooo, Yomi...", Tomo blushed, carving quicker than ever.
"That's my girl..", Yomi grinned, sitting back to watch the pieces of wood fly.
Three hours of intense carving later, Tomo had completed the wooden slats. After a quick, disassembling of a piano keyboard and the introduction of a few pieces of fabric, Tomo's mission was complete!
"Done!",she panted. "How do you..like it?"
Yomi was aghast with joy as she held the device in her hands.
"Tomo…I…..I..I LOVE IT!", she burst into a fit of laughter then turned to the shorter girl and gave her the same mischievous smile as earlier. "Shall we…have that fun now?"
"Oh, yes…..", Tomo stood up, unsnapping her pants…
Ten minutes later….
"Yomi!!", Tomo moaned. "It's too tight!!"
"Just put up with it Tomo and have fun, ok?", Yomi reprimanded as she pushed harder.
"But…."
"I thought you liked polka, Tomo?", Yomi asked, pumping her slipshod accordion that Tomo had made for her.
"Well….I thought you meant a different kind of fun..", Tomo whined, attempting to dance properly in her too-tight lederhosen.
"Just go with the flow, Tomo!", Yomi said, letting loose more wailing notes from the squeezebox.
--
It was late and Kagura had already performed her blasphemous prayers and was now curled up happily in her bed, drifting off into Dreamland. Just as the darkness of lovely sleep was overcoming her, a knock came at her window. She sat bolt upright, seeing as this was odd due to her room being on the second floor.
She scooted over to the window and peered outside just as another rock collided with the glass pane. Below her, tossing the rocks, was Osaka. Thusly, Kagura pushed the window open.
"Osaka! What the hell are you doing!?", she hissed.
"Kagura! Ah was just tossin' rocks at yer window."
"….Why?", Kagura asked, exasperated.
"Cuz I wanna talk to ya.", Osaka responded.
"You could have just called me, you know?"
"Yeah, but I see people do this in movies all the time and it looked like fun!", Osaka giggled.
"Look, Osaka…I'm gonna send down a sheet that you can climb ok?"
"Gotcha!", Osaka said, making an 'OK' sign with her fingers.
Luckily for her, the passing gang members did not notice this and misinterpret it or otherwise we might have had to cut this story far short of its destined goal.
Moments later, Kagura draped a sheet down from her window and, with extreme effort on her part, Osaka scrambled up the sheet into Kagura's room.
"Whew….I thought I was gonna get a hernia there for a sec.", Osaka bemoaned.
"Ok, Osaka.", Kagura had her hands impatiently on her hips. "What did you need?"
"Oh…right….Umm..uhh…I forgot."
"GYAHHHHH!!", Kagura cried out in frustration. "You better remember quickly!"
"I'm tryin'! I'm tryin'!", Osaka pleaded, horrified at angering the school's resident Satanist.
"GRRROOOWWLLLL!", Kagura roared from the deepest, darkest regions of her soul.
"I REMEMBER!! I REMEMBER!", Osaka yelled, gaining the calm attention of the once-raging girl. "I got a crush on someone and I wanna know what to do."
"Eh?", Kagura cocked her head in confusion. "You have a crush and you come to me for advice? Why?"
"I thought ya could use some of yer devil majiks to help me or summin….", Osaka responded with a nod and blank stare.
"Umm….Osaka…Lord Master Satan is unconcerned with matters of love."
"Aww….", Osaka moaned sadly, tears coming to the corners of her eyes.
"Wait, wait….who do you have a crush on anyhow?"
"Gary Busey."
"What!?", Kagura took many, many steps back in horror; nearly enough to walk all the way out the door.
"What? I said Tomo-chan.", Osaka stared, confused.
"Eh?", Kagura shook her head to clear it. She must be hearing things, she realized. "You like Tomo?"
"Uh-huh.", Osaka nodded.
"…Why?"
Osaka smiled broadly as she spoke. "She's all excitin' and cheery. And she has a cute butt."
"…Riiigghhht….", Kagura droned. "So..uhh….what do you need me for? I mean, I'm no relationship expert."
"I just thought ya might know what I could do to…ya'know…confess to her.", Osaka said, shifting her weight from foot to foot.
"Ok, fine….I have a few ideas…", Kagura said with a sagely nod.
"Really!?", Osaka's eyes perked as she bounced happily on her heels.
"Oh, yes. But you must do it properly or else it you'll blow the chance completely."
"Got it!", Osaka said with a salute. "Gotta blow the chance to do it properly!"
"No..no…You gotta do it properly or else you will blow your chance completely."
"Got it! Gotta properly blow my chance to do it!"
"No…Osaka, you sound like a damn movie! You have to do it properly or else you will blow your chance completely! Got it?", Kagura said, totally exasperated.
"Ah, I got it now! Gotta call for reinforcements before they overrun our borders!"
"Osaka….what the crap?", Kagura wondered aloud. "Please, just shut up and listen."
"Gotcha! Shutting up.", Osaka said, making very vocal computer-powering-down noises.
"Ok…", Kagura began. "This is my plan…."