Woohoo! On a roll here! Just to let you know, part of this chapter is what I submitted when I was first chosen for this task. Heeheheh, so I'm particularly proud of this one.

Ah, spring! The inexorably wafting smell of fresh cut lawns coupled with the resurgence of underground drug trafficing rings sure did make the day far more rewarding for those who spent it under the eternally-grumbling sun. This day marked the beginning of a brand new school year! A godsend for parents sick and tired of their homebound children's bitching and a devil's footprint for the children thus spoken of. Anxiety spread like the plague along the lines of students and their respecively unhappy teachers that were forced back into their line of work.

One of said students was Yomi. Wow! Who would have guessed!? Not me; I am far too simple-minded to make such a deviously complex connection between the two. I still fail to put the circular piece into the square hole!

Yomi quickly reached the entrance to the school; using her TARDIS, of course. She gazed upwards at the looming structure and let out a deep, heartfelt sigh.

'Damn time...with it's movement and stuff...'

The spring air, with it's floating pollen and the near-constant odour of crysanthemums made Yomi gag and hack up bloody phlegm. All these negative reactions led her to the feeling that she was forgetting something. She had no clue what that something might be, but she sure as hell knew it was something.

She shrugged off the feelings, because last time she acted upon them she nearly broke the agreements placed forth during the Geneva Convention. Now THAT sure wasn't a day she had any want to repeat.

Thusly, she made her way inside. She didn't wish to stand around outside any longer lest she grow roots and soon have to survive through photosynthesis. She walked through the hallways, clomping past assembled groups of kids, a few masked invaders and the entire '83 New England Patriots team before reaching her new homeroom.

"Hey, Yomi! Yeah, you! You with the face!", she heard Kagura yell, rocketing up behind her like a woman possessed.

"GAHH!!", Yomi cried out, shifting her gaze towards the windows in case she indeed did need to jump. It wasn't that far after all...

"What's wrong with you?", Kagura inquired with a curious look.

"You're not going to...cast a devil spell on me...are you?", Yomi sputtered.

"Heck no!", Kagura retorted. "That's only for those who dare defile Master's presence!!"

Lightning struck from the clear sky, leaving a smouldering crater in the centre of the football pitch.

--

"Dammit, Kagura...I told you HOW many times not to speak of your religious convictions in school?", Nyamo mumbled in disdain a few rooms away after she spotted the flash.

--

"Anyhow...where's Tomo?", Kagura asked, returning to her calm and placid form. The one not enamoured to the Lord of Darkness.

"I'm not sure. She spoke to me in a dream just last night saying she had some sort of surprise awaiting us."

That very fact sent a shiver down Yomi's spine. Last time Tomo spoke of having a surprise for her the two came frighteningly close to being put on the terrorist watch list. The fact that this information was imparted to her in a dream made her even more lax to feel enthused about it.

Together they entered their homeroom and were none too shocked to see that the class roster had not changed much. Only a few new students that seemed slightly out of place; Dale Ernheardt, Chad Pennington and Boutros Boutros-Ghali.

Their friends, in particular Osaka, Chiyo and Sakaki were off to the side of the room together, solving world crises and aiming to disassemble the neutron; Truly menial tasks.

"Greetings mortals!", Kagura cackled as she entered. Her classmates greeted her with dismal stares and stifled giggles. Not one bow of prostration. Abhorrent!

Yomi and Kagura approched the sitting girls, which prompted Chiyo to turn and speak with them.

"Where's Tomo and Kaorin?", Chiyo intoned.

"Tomo should be here any minute.", Yomi replied.

"But Kaorin's in a different class.", answered Kagura.

"Thank GOD!", Sakaki openly sighed, covering her mouth afterwards in embarrassment.

--

Elsewhere, Kaorin screamed wildly.

"NO!! NOOOO!! GOD HAVE MERCY UPON MY INNOCENT, VIRGIN SOUL!!"

Indeed, it seems that she was placed in Kimura's class; something that she would kill an endless supply of people to get out of. If she was trapped in a prison and the choices were: Go to Kimura's class or be disemboweled by dung beetles; she would choose the latter in a fraction of a heartbeat.

All the other females in Kimura's class were only slightly put off by his thinly veiled perversions. Kaorin, on the other hand, felt only murderous, torture-ridden rage for the man. This notion brightened her day somewhat.

She grinned broadly.

"Oh, yes...there will be blood!"

--

Sakaki felt a shiver run down her entire body. She felt cold; an ominous cold.

"Ick..."

"GOOOOOOOOD MORNING, EVERYONE!!"

The group turned to find...Tomo! Their collective jaw dropped in shock.

DA DADA DAAAAAAAAA!

Tomo found the Lesbian Haircut! If people didn't think you were gay before, they sure do now!

That exact impression seemed to eminate from the air itself as if divinely inspired. If this was Tomo's 'surprise' it sure came as a non-shock to many of those assembled.

"HAH!!", Kagura stood and pointed. "YOU ARE A CLAM DIVER!!"

"Huh?", Tomo cocked her head in confusion, not noticing that Chiyo had approached her.

"Tomo-san, you cut your hair?"

"Eh? Well, duh! The hell does it look like?"

Chiyo grimaced slightly, not quite comprehending why Kagura was cackling and why Yomi was praying for immediate death. Regardless, she decided to ask Yomi just what was going on.

"Yomi...", she whispered to the older girl. "Did Tomo have a..."

Time stood still. Indeed, for an instant the world froze; giving Yomi the opportunity to stand and belt out a short portion of a tune.

(Time stand still)
I'm not looking back
But I want to look around me now
(Time stand still)
See more of the people and the places that surround me now
Freeze this moment a little bit longer
Make each sensation a little bit stronger
Experience slips away
Experience slips away

With a short cough, she sat back down and turned to answer Chiyo as time once again flowed.

"Yes, Chiyo. Tomo did have a battle with lysergic acid...and lost."

"Oh...", Chiyo gave a quick glace back at the girl in question, as if assuaging the validity of that explanation.

"Why did you cut your hair?", they heard Osaka ask.

"Well, don't I look so much better like this?", Tomo grinned, fluffing up a few locks.

The others continued to just stare, speechless.

"Fine! Don't believe me!", Tomo huffed, plopping down in her chair.

At that moment, Yukari entered the classroom accompanied by a smoke machine and the most blasphemous of black metal. Class went on without a hitch, yet Yomi couldn't help but notice Osaka shifting her glace from the teacher, across the oxygen molecules she was convinced only Osaka could see, over to Tomo...and stopping on her.

'This is stranger than the time I died...', Yomi mused in her mind.

--

As Yomi floated past the lovely white puffs of cloud and the near-constant rain of sugary sweets she spotted through the copious light ahead; a figure. A smile spread across her face as the figure became more and more distinct...

"I...I can almost see it..."

"Koyomi...", she voice boomed, with just a hint of mischeviousness. "I am God!"

Yomi fent completely enthralled as the figure came into her field of vision...

"Gary Busey!?"

--

Yomi shivered in disgust at the memory whilst watching Osaka blush lightly as she stared at Tomo's near-sleeping form.

'It can't be...no...'

And Osaka continued to give Tomo the Thousand Yard Stare...

--

Twelve and a half bells marked the beginning of 'nutrient consumption hour'; known to the laymen as 'lunch'. As the students each took up their places at their individual lunching spots, Osaka grabbed Tomo in a full-nelson and dragged her off to Mars. Red Rocks! Woo! WOO!

"The hell we doing way out here?", Tomo asked, scuffing her shoes against the crimson dirt.

"Tomo-chan...I need yer attention a minute, k?", Osaka asked, her countenence quite serious.

"Uhh..okay...", Tomo droned, screwing her face into a confused form.

"Tomo-chan, I need you to meet me at the park after school.", the mind-warped girl said.

"Eh?", Tomo replied, still confounded. "Why?"

Osaka reached out her arms, and in a moment, had Tomo's shoulders pinned to a large rock. Tomo stood in shock. She had never known Osaka to be so quick and insistant.

"Tomo-chan...you NEED to meet me at the park at sunset tonight...'round the tree that looks at weird and stuff. You know...the one if the back. You know the one I'm talkin' 'bout, right?"

Tomo nodded slowly in assent. She knew exactly where Osaka was speaking of; she was simply horrified. Osaka's gaze was enrapturing; enchanting and other adjectives used to describe a transfixing nature.

"Good...good.", Osaka smiled. "Cuz, ya know...I'm not afraid to break yer knees, Tomo-chan."

Probably the most terrifying thing was that she finished this sentence with a cheerful giggle.

The sound of the bell rang out, somehow reaching Mars just in time for the girls to return to class. Yet, throughout these proceedings another watched from afar, using their vision-enhancing devices to take in the sight of the talking girls. They caught bits and pieces of the conversation. Enough to form a very solid idea of the topic in question. As the bell rang, they turned and made their way back to their seat.

Osaka had a spring in her step as she entered the classroom, followed by a not-so-enthusiastic Tomo. In fact, Tomo looked like as blank as if she had just shot up half a kilo of heroin.

A slightly dismal glance was shot between Yomi and herself moments before Yukari returned in a cloud of flame and awesome.

--

It was actually rather alarming how quickly time passed. Maybe the gods were fooling with the Cosmic Clock, because it seemed like only moments before the time came for Tomo to go to the park to meet Osaka.

Tomo trotted along the path towards their predetermined meeting place, thoughts on the matter swirling through her head; the majority of which were absolutely the most bleak conclusions ever come to by said girl.

'Ugh...I hope it's not about Satan...I get enough of that from Kagura...I also hope she doesn't want to play hockey...I totally forgot my gear...Darn, I REALLY hope she doesn't want to open my head with a hacksaw, I don't have insurance to cover that...'

She trotted along the uber-green spring grass, heading directly for where she knew Osaka to be waiting. Indeed, as per her spectacular deductive skills, there was the spacey girl sitting placidly on a spread blanked beneath the odd tree that always reminded Tomo of the flab under the arm of an old lady. A very identifiable landmark.

Soon, Osaka spotted the loitering girl and beckoned her forward with momentary insistant hand gestures, pelvic thrusts, and those orange glowsticks they use to direct airplanes.

"Yer late...", Osaka intoned darkly as Tomo reached her position.

Tomo let out a horrified squeal and covered her kneecaps, begging for mercy.

"PLEASE DON'T BREAK MY KNEECAPS!! I NEED THOSE!!"

"It's ok, Tomo-chan...yer forgiven.", Osaka giggled.

That always terrified Tomo. To her, it was like one of those seemingly-demonically-possessed china dolls that just stared all glassy-eyed and you pull the string on the back and they giggle...It always gave Tomo that certain cold feeling...

Oh gods, this is even scaring me...is it scaring you? Ugh...

"Uhh...anyhow...why did you need me?", Tomo asked, breaking the hellish silence.

Osaka leaned towards her with half-hooded eyes and spoke in a low, almost lusty, voice.

"Tomo-chan...we've been friends for some time now. I...I think it's about time we took it one step further."

Tomo instantly recoiled. Was this some sort of confession from the odd girl?

"W-what!? The hell are you saying?"

"I need you, Tomo-chan...", Osaka responded, her voice seductive and breathy.

Tomo's breath was now coming in short gasps. She had to lick her lips to moisten the parched surface. She had no idea what to sy or even what to do. She sat, shivering like a lost puppy. D'awwww!

"Tomo-chan...I need yer help to defeat tha aliens.", Osaka said in a frighteningly serious tone.

Tomo's eyes nearly screwed out of her head. All sexual anticipation that had built up within her immediately dropped into the pits of Hades. Reality hit her in the face like a two ton block of cheese.

"What!?", Tomo exclaimed.

"Tha aliens, Tomo-chan.", Osaka said whilst shaking her by the shoulders. "Tha aliens!"

"The aliens!?", Tomo spoke angrily as she backed away. "Why the heck do you need me?"

"Tomo-chan.", Osaka spoke as if she was talking to an overgrown child. "I need ya to take yer clothes off."

"WHAT!?", Tomo screamed. "For what!?"

"Ya see...we gotta perform the Ritual of the Tree Elephants."
"Can't we just do that with my clothes on?"
"Nuh-uh.", Osaka shook her head vehemently. "Don'cha be embarassed. I'ma have to be naked too."

Tomo sat in silence, contemplating whether to run and hide or talk the girl out of this bizarre task. If Osaka was trying to seduce her; the Ritual of the Tree Elephants was certainly not turning her on.

"What the heck do we have to do for this ritual thing?"

"Well, ya see. These aliens hate nakedness, it burns their eyes. So, if we get naked and dance then when the aliens spy on us they'll shrivel up and die!"

Gods damn. The scary part was that, to Osaka, this all made perfect sense. Tomo just looked at her with a sidelong glance.

"Well...", she contemplated. "Why the heck not!"

"That's the spirit!", Osaka cheered.

With that announcement they sat back on the blanket and, without any sort of warning whatsoever, Osaka reached over and began to tug on Tomo's top.

"What the heck!?", Tomo screamed as she struggled with the crazed girl.
"The longer we wait the closer they get!", Osaka rubutted.

Tomo huffed noisily.

"Your idea of a surprise really is strange...", Tomo said as she wiggled out of her shirt. Osaka did the same and that is when she got a ravenous look in her eyes.

"This is where it begins!", Osaka announced and immediately stood and planted her right foot directly in Tomo's Zyphoid Process in one smooth, effortles motion not commonly seen in such a graceless girl. Tomo's breath was expelled in one giant outflow as she fell flat on her back with Osaka standing triumphantly above her, foot planted squarely on her nearly naked chest. Tomo gasped for air as Osaka spread her arms in a strange and bizarre effort to call out to ancient gods unheard of.

"...May we dance with the pachyderms of the forest...forever!", Osaka cried to the sky.No matter how Tomo struggled, Osaka's foot was much too powerful. She was indeed a woman possessed.

Then a voice rang over Osaka's cries of bizarre ritual.

"What the heck are you guys doing?"

Osaka paused in her recitation and stood silently for but half a second before turning to this newcomer.

"Yomi-chan!?", she called out in surprise.

Tomo's eyes flew wide open and, as if a spirit had descended, garnered the strength to push Osaka off of her so that she could stand.

"Yomi! Save me!", she cried and ran over to stand beside said girl.

Yomi just gave both of them a terribly disapproving look; the sort of look one gives if they walk in upon an awkward situation and if this wasn't one of those I don't quite know what is.

"Seriously, what ARE you doing? And why are you half-naked?", she asked.

"Yoooomi-chaaaan...you RUINED it!", Osaka wailed, tossing her arms up in defeat.

"Ruined...what?", Yomi asked.

"The Ritual of the Tree Elephants, Yomi!", Osaka explained. "It shrivels up the aliens!"

"Riiiight...", Yomi droned.

"You were going to crush my chest!", Tomo accosted.

"Really, though...you shouldn't be standing around half-naked in chilly weather like this.", Yomi then began a lengthy lecture about all of the horrible diseases one can catch walking around in damp spring weather. Everything from infectious parasites to flesh-eating Ebola.

Tomo was livid and Osaka was on the verge of a gods' honest nervous breakdown.

"OH, HAVE MERCY MY LORD!", Osaka weeped as she prostrated herself before Yomi.

"Osaka...Osaka...you can get up you know. I didn't mean to freak you that much. I was just curious why you were nearly naked is all.", Yomi explained.

Osaka got up then and let her shifty gaze wander in her strange manner before walking to the blanket, putting her shirt back on, tossing Tomo her own shirt, folding up said blanket and walking off with a friendly wave.

The two remaining girls returned the wave half-heartedly.

"Tomo.", Yomi said.

"Hmm?", Tomo grunted through the shirt she was fitting over her head.

"Want to come back to my place for a bit? You look a bit...distraught."

Tomo's eyes shined as if she had just offered her one trillion yen worth of the purest sugar.

"Boy, do I!? Let's go!"

--

An hour later, at the Mizuhara household there was a murder!! Hahah! Just kidding! Did I get ya? No? Oh well...Anyhow, there was no murder, but instead there was some rather scandalous activity taking place. Nah, I'm just kidding about that too! ...Or am I?

Yomi's room was the only one with lights ablaze, and whitin sat the two girls on Yomi's bed; exhausted and damp, but content. In fact, Tomo was still panting heavily and Yomi was giggling like a fool.

"Yomi...", Tomo spoke. "That's the LAST time I play 'Go Fish' by your rules!"

"Oh, c'mon. You know you enjoyed it!", Yomi giggled again, eyeing the leather straps and accountrements scattered about the room as well as the abject nakedness of both Tomo and herself.

With a long sigh, Tomo fell back on the bed. "Since when have you been so good at cards?"

"I watch the 'World Series of Go Fish' quite often.", Yomi answered.

"...That exists?"

Both girl nearly jumped out of their skin when the phone rang. Now wouldn't that be a sight to see when Yomi's mother came home? Two skinless, naked bodies on her daughter's bed. Try explaining THAT to the cops.

Anyhow, Yomi leaned over and pressed the answer button and set it to 'speaker'.

"Hello, Mizuhara residence. Home of the Mizuhara Burger. Can I take your order?"

"Oh, Koyomi you're home!", came the voice of her mother.

"Yeah, not too much to do after foiling an international terrorist plot, you know?", Yomi answered. "Oh, and Tomo's staying the night, ok?"

"Oh, I know.", Mrs. Mizuhara answered. "Don't forget to clean the stains off the ceiling!"

With that she hung up, leaving Tomo flabbergasted and Yomi wishing for death once again.

And because I must cite my references... That song Yomi breaks into is the chorus of 'Time Stand Still' by Rush.