I realize that a lot of people, through reading your reviews may not like what I have done in this chapter, and I'm sorry for that.
Rachel awoke the next morning around 11. Sitting up she looked around Monica's neatly decorated guest room. It was certainly Monica, that's for sure. Nothing a thing was out of place, but that's was no surprise.
Rachel glanced over at Emma who was just waking up herself. "Good Morning Ems" Rachel smiled at her angel, who laughed and yelled 'Mommy'. She was just beginning to piece words together…growing up so fast.
After taking a quick shower and placing Emma into the twins play pen Rachel went down the steps expecting to find Monica, instead she was no where to be found. Walking into the kitchen Rachel found a post it note on the counter addressed to her.
"Rach,
Ran to the store to get food for dinner.
Be home soon
-Mon"
Instead of searching through the kitchen to find something to eat for breakfast Rachel made her way into the living room, looking around at Monicas country styled décor. She took a seat on the couch, and looked to her left where there was a picture of her friends taken from what she guessed to be this past thanksgiving. The five, plus Mike, were there toasting each other looking happier than ever.
Rachel felt awkward looking at the photograph, it had finally become a reality to her that life had gone on without her. She wondered if things had changed. Her eyes went to everyone in the photograph one by one, before resting on Ross.
In the picture he wore a blue and grey striped Ralph Lauren sweater, smiling Rachel remembered giving it to him for his birthday before she left.
"Too bad you weren't here that day" Monica said peering over Rachel's shoulder.
Startled Rachel jumped, "I didn't hear you come in" She laughed then put the picture down eager to change the subject. "So…what's for dinner?"
"Turkey Sandwiches, with a broccoli and cheese soup, its almost ready…tonight is about catching up."
"Okay, Ill run upstairs and get Emma" Rachel replied jumping up from the couch.
A little while after Rachel and Emma returned downstairs to meet Monica in the kitchen for dinner. After their meal filled with talking of old times and Rachel's job in Paris Monica finally decided to go back to yesterday conversation. She had to find out more about what was going on with her friend.
"Rach, could we talk?"
" Well…I do believe that's what we're doing right now" Rachel replied trying to make light of the situation. She knew what was coming and there was no avoiding it.
"Seriously, how are you?" Monica questioned pouring Rachel a glass of water
"I'm okay" Rachel noticed the look Monica was sending her "Really, I'm really okay." She paused to take a sip of water "I mean, sure I'm afraid…terrified. I figured the next time I would do this" Rachel gestured to her small bulge "thing would be so much different"
Monica motioned for her friend to continue.
"I mean really Mon I'm almost 35 years old. I thought I would be married by now"
"Hey you've got lots of time" Monica said reassuringly.
"Please Monica…anyway things just don't turn out like you thought they would, if you want me to be really honest with you…sometimes I wish I hadn't been so stubborn all the years ago…I wonder if I would have been married by now" Rachel sighed as her friend gave her a nod.
"I mean, no offense but I thought I'd be the first one married out of all of us…" Rachel and Monica shared a laugh, Monica missed her friend…this was such a Rachel thing to say. Rachel then grew serious "Really though, and now I'm all alone. "
Monica leaned over and hugged her friend "Rachel, honey you're not alone…you will never, ever be alone." Monica paused "Youll always have Chandler and I…and Emma, and the new baby…and Ross. Rachel, you're tied to all of us for life and you will never ever lose us"
Rachel shook her head "I've already screwed up. Ross must hate me now"
"He doesn't hate you--"
Rachel shot Monica a look
"—Okay, Okay…so he's a little upset right now. But I mean, you can't deny him the right, he hasn't seen his daughter in six months. Phoebe asked him once why he didn't try and take legal action, he said he just couldn't do it to you"
"I know Mon, and that's what I mean." Rachel paused "How is he?"
Rachel was secretly and selfishly hoping that Ross would be miserable…not that she wanted him to hurt, but she still wanted him. She hoped that in some paralle universe, she could erase these past six months and change everything.
"At first he took things hard, he was really upset when you left. I don't know what hit him, I mean he seemed to be coming to terms with things and then on the day you were leaving he broke down" Monica explained "Hes doing much better now though…he's actually seeing someone."
Rachels head shot up…did she just hear what she thought she heard "He's what" she replied almost in a whisper.
Monica nodded "Remember Bonnie…" It took Rachel a while but then her eyes lit up "Bald Bonnie? " She questioned.
"Yeah, About a month ago Phoebe set them up again"
Rachel tried not to act like she cared too much "And hows that working out?"
"Okay I guess" Monica replied "Bonnie hates kids though…but other than that I mean Ross seems happy."
"Oh" That was all Rachel could say for quite some time."Mon, I have a confession to make" Rachel began, " The night before I left for Paris, Ross and I slept together."
"What!" Monica exclaimed "The baby isn't-"
"No." Rachel continued "Anyway, I knew after that I couldn't stay here. After tha night, there was no turning back. It was all so confusing…and would have been awkward. I just felt like it was the perfect way to leave things…it was such a passionate night…" After telling the story Rachel paused to take it all in, this had been the first time she had actually verbalized what had happened that night. "I slept with him Mon, and I still love him."
Monica stared at her, shocked, not because of the fact that Rachel was still in love with Ross…but the fact that she admitted it.
Rachel continued, giving her friend what she wanted to hear "The main reason I cut off all ties what because of him…I don't know if you know this, but, the night I left he told me he loved me, he asked me to stay…and I just couldn't…and he looked heartbroken. " Rachel paused now starting to cry, feeling terrible. "Mon, when I found out I was pregnant I couldn't tell him…he couldn't find out… not after I just left him heartbroken. He needed time to move on, and I couldn't just bring this news along."
Monica finally began to understand, getting up to hug her friend she stroked her hair and told her everything would be okay.
As the two broke apart Rachel looked at her friend, tears still in her eyes " Hey Mon…remember what I said when I told you the baby wasn't Ross's "
"Yeah" Monica looked at her, tears welling up in her eyes as well…
"…I lied"
As you could see I did end up placing Ross in a relationship, Sorry if it hasn't worked out the way some thought it would.