Ah! A new one! Enjoy, enjoy!
Yomi awoke that morning feeling rather burnt-out. It seemed like a heroin hangover; minus the self-loathing and loss of bowel control. She wondered why everything seemed blurry. That's because she forgot to put on her glasses; silly girl! As she reached to put them on, she realized just how bone-numbing cold it was. It was 'glass-cutter' cold!
And wet…
And…
"OH MY GOD! I'M NAKED AND COVERED IN MOTOR OIL!"
A groan was heard and she turned to see Tomo, asleep on her bed and covered head-to-toe in motor oil. She looked to Yomi like a disgusting example of why one should always be aware of their surroundings; lest a shock like this occur. The bed was even devoid of sheets; seeing that they were scattered about and stained with substances she dare not imagine.
As quietly as she could muster, Yomi slunk from the bed like a boneless flatfish and over to her drawer. From there she ascertained her school uniform; but only after wiping her hands clean of all oil.
She crawled, hands and knees, to the shower to go about washing the terrible slimy liquid off her body. The falling water felt good…almost too good.
It brought back memories of the previous night at a terribly inopportune time.
The bumping….
The grinding….
The resultant delicious fruit puree….
A shiver passed through her body despite the warmth of the water. Damn that Tomo and her….sex.
Without getting into the grisly details, let us simply be content with knowing that there was more than just motor oil on Yomi's sheets.
Some of it was castor oil!
Yomi exited the shower and dried herself thoroughly. She even made sure to comb her hair properly and make herself generally look presentable to her mother. In other words, make herself look as if she had not just experienced a wild night.
Slowly, she made her way to the kitchen where her mother was burning some toast. She never was very good with that machine…
"Good morning, Koyomi!", her mother greeted her.
Mrs. Mizuhara sure was a looker! I mean, for her age that is. She had her own set of soft brunette hair that ended before it graced her shoulders. She seemed to always wear a smile, regardless of the dire need of the situation for otherwise. These features gave her slightly wrinkled face a new glow.
Oh, and her boobs didn't sag either. That's always a bonus!
Yomi simply stared at her mother, eyes shining with a pseudo-malice that Mao Tse-Tung would have killed for.
"Mother….how did you know Tomo and I were playing Go Fish and making puree?"
"Go Fish? Puree?", Mrs. Mizuhara tilted her head slightly. "Honey, you two were going at it like rabbits."
Yomi's jaw dropped immediately and her body fell to pieces on the floor. In a metaphoric sense, of course. Cuz, betch…you can't actually fall to pieces! The hell sort of world do you live in…
"Mother! Why the hell did you watch!?"
"Koyomi…please sit.", Mrs. Mizuhara nodded towards the table and put out a plate of practically carbonized toast and pulpy orange juice.
Yomi took her seat and reluctantly bit into a piece of said toast; it instantly turning to charcoal in her mouth.
"Koyomi….I'll tell you how I found out….", she nodded, taking the seat across from her daughter. "You see, it all began on a rather slow day at the Hall of Justice…"
"Oh, god mother….Don't bring your work into this! I've told you a thousand times not to use your powers in public!", Yomi bemoaned.
"Honey, I HAD to! Just listening to you and Tomo talk brought me back to my own high school days…", Mrs. Mizuhara's eyes became hooded and she let out a soft sigh as she returned to the days where her superpowers were considered 'sexy'.
"Mother! Why don't you talk with people your own age!? I hear Batman is looking for a partner after beating up his mom…"
"One day I heard you two talking about the subject of love…", Mrs. Mizuhara swooned once more. "So, don't fret Koyomi! I know exactly what it's like to be screwing your best friend!"
Yomi immediately burst into flame and was quickly put out by Tomo barging into the room carrying a fire extinguisher.
"Whoooo!! Good thing I was around to put Yomi out!", Tomo giggled.
Yomi seemed a bit charred, but generally in good shape. She adjusted her glasses and noted that Tomo was dressed in HER clothing.
"Tomo…might you be so kind as to dress in your OWN clothes?", Yomi suggested.
"And ruin this moment?", she grinned, shocking the world by sensually licking Yomi's face before scampering out the door; giggling like a well-known mythical creature.
"Awww..isn't that just the cutest thing ever!", Mrs. Mizuhara noted.
"No, mother. It isn't.", Yomi groaned.
"Well, Koyomi…it's all well and good that you two can screw around like hungry antelopes but remember that one day I'd like some grandkids…..", Mrs. Mizuhara sighed. Her eyes opened wide a moment later and she grabbed Yomi by the collar of her uniform. "GET SOME ALIENS TO SPLICE THE GENES OF YOU AND TOMO!! BEAR ME A GRANDCHILD FROM YOUR LOINS!!"
"MOTHER!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?", Yomi cried out in horror, pulling out of her super-grasp.
Mrs. Mizuhara gazed at where Yomi had been a moment before a giggled slightly.
"Oh..I'm sorry. I got a little ahead of myself!"
"Uhh..okay…I'm uhh…going to school now…Bye, mother.", Yomi said with a hint of desperation as she grabbed her bag and walked out the door.
"DON'T FORGET THE ALIEN!!", Mrs. Mizuhara cried out; shutting the door a moment later with her mind.
--
Tomo was one of the first at school today and certainly the first to enter the shoe locker area.
"Oh shit!", grumbled Sasquatch as he grabbed The Jersey Devil and Manuel Noriega and carried them behind some stray boxes as a form of cover. They had not expected anyone so early!
Tomo went to grab her shoes, but instead managed to interrupt the Shoe Fairies in their daily pixie dust sprinkling. Thusly, she grimaced boldly and decided to make her case known to the only other person who would be at school at such an inhuman hour.
And said person could be found right out the back door upon the Plains of Dust.
Tomo stomped through the sandy expanse until she saw the black clouds forming on the horizon. She was close.
Moving along, she soon spotted the person in question wearing a dark cloak and donning a pointed wizard hat; hands aloft as arcane powers swirled.
"KAAAGUUUURRRAAAA!", Tomo called out.
The girl whipped around; frowning intensely as the clouds dissipated and the archaic runes disappeared.
"What do you want!? I've told you before not to interrupt my communion with the Master!", Kagura growled.
"Uhh…sorry?", Tomo inclined her head slightly.
"Bah! What do you need?", Kagura responded, taking up stride beside Tomo as they trekked back towards the schoolhouse.
"Kagura…uhh..", Tomo stumbled on her words a moment. Possibly because of the distraction caused by the line of slaves being driven along by their Draconian masters. "Do you happen to know what it's like getting' down-and-dirty with your best friend?"
Kagura's eyes grew wider by the moment. Some say they inflated like a balloon.
"Don't tell me you….wait…of course you did.", she sighed. "I knew that."
"Indeed!", Tomo confirmed. "And I think her mother knows about it now."
"Oh? And what does she think?"
"She thinks it's all cutesy and shit. She's weird like that.", Tomo nodded, opening the door and letting Satanists go first.
"Right…", Kagura noted. "So..what about your folks?"
"Nah, they know nothing about it. Hell, they barely know I hit puberty!", Tomo laughed at her parent's inanity.
"Right..uhh..but shouldn't you tell them?", Kagura asked, removing her hat and cape; those poofing into oblivion.
"Tell them!? I can't tell them! My Dad was a former professional wrestler, you know!!", Tomo panicked.
"So? You know how to take a hit.", Kagura grinned.
Tomo stood dumbfounded for a moment before responding.
"Kagura! Come with me when I tell my parents! PLEEEAASSEE!?"
"Eh!?", Kagura took a step back. "I'm not your fall-girl, you opportunistic bitch!!"
"I'm not asking you to take the fall for me! I just want moral support!", Tomo rebutted.
Kagura relented with a sigh.
"Fine….under one condition!"
"Whatcha need? I mean, Yomi did say I'm really good with my hands!", Tomo bounced happily on the balls of her feet.
Kagura lifted one eyebrow in an almost Arthurian expression.
"On second thought, I'll do it for free."
"WHOOPEE!", Tomo cheered.
By then, many others had filtered through the door of the school and mulled about in the minutes before the class bell rung. Kagura sat quietly in her seat waiting for Yukari to storm in, usually two minutes twelve seconds after the bell rang, and noticed that Tomo and Yomi had not spoken to one another at all that morning.
'Oh well. It must be awkward talking to a person you just discussed Uganda with the night before.'
A whispering wind passed through the area. Tomo and Yomi did not speak the entire day. It was like a bad episode of '7th Heaven'.
Regardless, let us move on and not dwell on that doody!
The following day, Tomo called Kagura and asked her to prepare for their encounter with her parents. It didn't take long for them to assemble that afternoon with the necessary accoutrements.
"Everything in proper order, Left-tenant Kagura!?", Tomo asked with a gruff tone.
"Yes, Ma'am!", Kagura saluted.
"Excellent! You know the call word.", Tomo nodded, sauntering to the door.
"I do. Good luck!"
With a final nod, Tomo opened the door and entered; removing her shoes in the foyer and closing the door soon afterwards.
"I'm home!", she called out.
Immediately the house was filled with the sounds of heavy clomping. She braced herself as her father rushed up and captured her in a tight bear hug.
"Hey there, kiddo!!", he cackled.
"Hi there, Dad….", Tomo managed to gasp out.
He released her and placed his hands on his hips with a great grin splattered on his weathered face.
"So, what's up?"
"In fact, I actually have something to announce to you and mother.", Tomo said with a nod.
Tomo's father gasped.
"W-what!? YOU have something to announce!? Are you married!? Pregnant!? Under investigation for an assault on Prime Minister Mori!?"
"Uhh..no…Can you go get mother?", Tomo asked, bamboozled.
Tomo's father sighed openly and moved over to retrieve a small, lightly decorated wooden box from the mantle. He opened the latch as a tiny bit of blue smoke wafted out.
"ARISE!!", he cried out.
From the box swirled out a translucent blue form that took the shape of the torso, arms and head of a woman clad in battle armour from seemingly ancient times.
"I ARISE!!", the form warbled.
"Mother!!", Tomo smiled broadly.
"Oh, welcome home Tomo! How was your day?", the ghostly form asked politely with a smile.
"Actually, mother….I have something to tell you guys.", Tomo said.
"Oh?", her mother questioned.
"Yeah….", Tomo took a deep breath. "Uhh….me and Yomi are-"
At this moment her father coughed loudly, sending her already tense nerves into HYPER OVERDRIVE!
"GYAHHH!! SHREDDED WHEAT!!", she screamed in horror.
In an instant, the three windows in the den shattered and men donning black body armour and carrying automatic weapons burst in led by Kagura herself. They were silent as they fired only three rounds into Tomo's father's head; killing him instantly. Two others moved to the box that Tomo's mother originated from and smashed it to bits with their large boots.
"GO BACK TO HELL!", one yelled.
Tomo's mother puttered out of existence and soon the room was a total mess; yet silent.
"Did we do good?", Kagura asked.
"Oh shit….", Tomo noted. "I fucked up."
At this point an ethereal voice entered the situation; booming throughout the room.
"Dost thou wish to take the Holy Mulligan?", it asked, soft yet commanding.
"Yes, Great God Jay! I, Tomo Takino, wish to take my one Holy Cosmic Mulligan!"
There was a pause before the voice responded.
"So be it!"
And thusly time was rewound and Tomo got a 'do-over'. The continuum mutated to the point just before Tomo screamed recklessly.
"Mother….Father….me and Yomi totally fucked last night."
The eyes of both of her parents went wide. It was always strange to see her mother's do so, for one could see right through them and view the wall behind. It was a rather nice wall; after all.
"Oh…that's cool.", they both said nearly simultaneously.
Tomo tilted her head, viewed it through binoculars and even inverted the room. Yet she did not understand how they could be so calm!
"Uhh….don't you care?", she asked.
"Well…speaking off intercourse with your best friend…", Tomo father gazed at his wife momentarily before turning back. "You know Takeshi, right?"
Tomo shuddered instantaneously.
"OH GOD, DAD!!", she gagged on vomit and raced upstairs to relieve the tormenting images.
Her father looked after her; rather confounded.
"What was that all about?", he asked his wife.
"I don't know.", she responded. "I guess she doesn't want to hear about Takeshi's current wife being his best friend in college…"
--
The following day, Tomo and Yomi were spending time in Yomi's room….scissoring. No, no, no! I simply jest! In reality Tomo was musing over a magazine article about baked aubergines while Yomi was masticating.
It had been a fine few days for them and they were exhausted. When Tomo called Yomi the previous day all excited, informing her that her mother and father approved of what they were doing; Yomi followed up with her own confirmation of approval from her own mother. This was followed by much party and sippin' Bacardi.
Silence reigned but, like King Arthur, was overcome by a treacherous friend and mortally wounded; being brought to Avalon soon after.
"Hey, Tomo…", Yomi spoke, shattering all sense of propriety the world had ever known. "If we could have a kid…what do you think she'd be like?"
Tomo, slightly peeved from her need to take her attention from those lovely baked aubergines, gave Yomi a condescending look.
"Yomi, are you taking Valium again?"
"No, no! I'm serious!", she rebutted.
"Well then….she's inherit your bat wings and my gun arms….and maybe she could even get some invisibility power from your mother's side of the family!", Tomo expounded.
"Ok…only thing is….I DON'T HAVE WINGS AND YOU DON"T HAVE GUN ARMS!!"
"Damn, that's an ugly child…", came a mutter.
Both girls turned their attention towards Yomi's closet, from where the sound seemed to have originated.
Slowly, Yomi crept over and yanked the door open.
"Mother!?", she cried.
Indeed, her mother was standing flabbergasted in her closet; attempting to hide herself amongst the clothing.
Mrs. Mizuhara glanced one way and then the other before bolting from the room.
"I'm invisible! WHOOOOSH!!"
Both girls blinked in confusion for a moment before regaining their bearings.
"Uhh….how about we just use your time machine to go to the future and see our kid there!?", Tomo suggested.
"If you're willing to try it again…", Yomi said, taking her time machine out of her bureau drawer and plugging it into a wall socket.
"Woohoo!!", Tomo grabbed it and positioned herself accordingly.
"Don't forget the power crystals!", Yomi admonished, putting them in the top of the small machine.
They each grabbed one of the handles and in a shower of one yen coins…they were gone.
--
"Oh, Tomo…I love it when you touch me there."
Tomo purred in response and moved further down her lover's body…
ZZZAP!
They two looked up; Tomo's ears falling back against her head.
Standing beside them were..themselves? They seemed rather distraught at the sight; noting that their jaws nearly graced the ground.
"Oh shi-"
ZZZAP!
And then they were gone.
--
"Oh, Sakaki..I love it when you touch me there!"
Sakaki purred in response and moved further down her lover's body…
ZZZAP!
Both girls turned toward the source of the noise and blushed indecently. Sakaki screamed.
Tomo and Yomi screamed in response. A moment passed before Kagura hurled a pillow at the two standing girls.
ZZZAP!
And they were gone.
--
"Oh, Pan…I love it when you-"
ZZZAP!
OH MY GOD!! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO!?", Tomo screamed.
"Shut up, Tomo! Geez…nice first impression!", Yomi chastised with a swipe to her head.
Two girls, one bearing glasses with long hair and the other, far paler, girl with a red headband simply stared at them.
"Mama? Kaa-san!?", The glasses-wearing girl said incredulously; getting to her feet in an instant.
"NO, NO, NO!!", Tomo cried out, shielding her eyes in horror.
"Mama!?", the girl repeated.
"TAKE US AWAY, YOMI!!"
ZZZAP!
--
They had returned to their own time period, gasping and panting heavily.
"Yomi….seeing your own child having sex is the scariest thing ever!", Tomo huffed.
"Tomo….they were doing homework.", Yomi explained impatiently.
"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!"
Yomi simply sighed. Sometimes, despite all logic, Tomo found a way to bed and break all rules required.