.-.-.-.

PRINCESS PINK VS. THE JUGGERNAUT OF UNREASONABLY HIGH-MAINTENANCE SOCIETY

.-.-.-.

Looking back on that day, Sakura realized that outside her shock of Ino's magically spontaneous appearance, she got another whopping layer of surprise as Tenten neither a) asked if Ino was okay; b) inquired about her sister or c) welcomed her, these three options otherwise known as the common, sane thing to do.

Instead, the brunette calmly shifted to draw a kunai knife--the same that had reshaped Sakura's hair earlier--out of her boot and whip it at her sister, barely missing Temari's nose. It sliced the tie that held back Ino's hair and imbedded itself into the wall behind her.

Ino blinked her big blue eyes, before turned and staring at the knife, a hand moving up to feel her hair.

"Da-amn, Ten…"

Tenten, instead of responding, promptly turned on her heel and disappeared into her bedroom.

The blonde sister shrugged in confusion, before calmly looking around the rooms. Sakura and Temari stood, still shell shocked, as Ino smirked meanly and nodded. "Nice rooms, nee-chan," she shot viciously at Sakura. "I love your dress. I see you're taking my place beside Uchiha Sasuke, huh? I can't believe they actually think you're related to me, with your giant forehead."

Sakura blinked and gaped, still a little shellshocked, and unable to form any cohesive response. "I-I-ah," she gulped. "Ino…what?"

"Yeah. Uh huh. I stopped by dad's first, by the way. And apparently my lovely entourage left without me."

"You ran away," Temari suddenly spoke up. "It's not like they could've done anything. You ran away with Shikamaru and now you're blaming Sakura? Tch."

Sakura's head whipped over to the other blonde, shocked. How many people knew?! Ugh. She didn't think Tenten would have that big of a mouth.

And then suddenly they all started talking

"Oh, this coming from you, you slutbag. You know what? You are so full of shit. I can't believe you were my friend. What the hell happened to your fucking sense of decency?! What the fuck were you thinking, that I wasn't gonna find out?" Ino was suddenly furious. "Oh, no, wait, I know what it is. You were just having fun, weren't you, you whore? Huh? You thought he was just one of your little man flings, but no, he's not, you bitch, but you went for it anyways, didn't you?! You knew--"

"No," Temari protested, her eyes darting towards Sakura nervously, "No, Ino, it isn't--wasn't--what you think--"

"Ino," Sakura was beginning to panic, but kept her voice calm. This could turn out to be very, very, very bad…if what she thought was going was really going on. "Ino, what are you talking a--"

BAM.

"Where the hell is Tenten?!"

"Ino? Ah, damn it. This is so troubles--"

Both blondes froze, and between them, Sakura turned to see Kiba standing looking a little less than sober in the frame of the door. Behind him stood a man in a black cloak with spiky hair pointing up at the sky, a sour expression on his face and his eyes rolled to the ceiling.

"Kiba," she managed, "Um, Tenten is in her--"

And to continue a long list of conversational interruptions, Sakura thought dryly, was Ino wrenching Tenten's kunai knife from behind her ear and hurling it at Captain Nara Shikamaru's pineappley head, not even bothering trying to curve it like her sister did.

Kiba blinked and ducked. The intended target leaned to one side and put his hand up. The knife hit his palm, going all the way through. Shikamaru didn't even wince as he examined the wound.

There was a little, surprised yelp, coming from the general direction of Temari, who stared at Ino in blind shock. Ino glared at him, her tiny body shaking in undisguised anger, her sapphire eyes fixed on the bleeding wound in Shikamaru's hand.

The room was silent. Then Shikamaru sighed and wrenched the weapon out of his appendage with a slight wince, before fixing his dark eyes on Sakura's cousin.

"Now will you listen to me?"

Ino opened her mouth, but she couldn't speak. Realizing her impediment, she snapped her pale lips shut, glared and dashed into her sister's room, the door slamming closed behind her. Soon, Tenten's grumpy, sardonic voice was heard as she was disturbed, followed by a shrill sob from Ino, before the brunette's panicked, worried tones began.

An awkward silence filled the room. Temari looked extremely nervous, as Shikamaru's eyes were fixed on her. Sakura stood awkwardly a few feet off. Shikamaru's eyes did not leave the Sand kunoichi as he walked to fill Tenten's recently vacated seat. Sakura paused, weighing her options in her head, deciding she had nothing really to lose and joined him at the table. Temari remained unmoving, her eyes now fixed on the floor, sweating, her teeth clenched.

Kiba paused, contemplating his options, decided there was probably no way he was gonna see Tenten anytime that night, swore loudly, and walked into the receiving area and then into his bedroom, deciding he didn't want to deal with any of this.

Shikamaru picked up Tenten's half-filled cup, looked at it in consideration for a few seconds, before downing it.

"Damn, I'm tired," he commented candidly, ripping off a piece of his cloak to wrap his dripping hand in. When he was done, he turned to Sakura and smiled. "I'm Nara Shikamaru. And you are…?"

"Oh," Sakura paused, thinking. "Yamanaka Sakura, Nara Shikamaru-san," she inclined her head. "Pleased to meet your acquaintance."

"No need for that," Shikamaru said blandly, examining his wrapped up hand. "I've talked to the King, Haruno-san, I know."

"Oh," Sakura repeated dumbly. Yet another. She was gonna have to write up a list or something to catch up with the steadily growing group of people who knew who she was. Shrugging, she sat there, not really knowing what to do. It's not like I was trained to deal with these kind of situation, she thought, though now I kind of wish I had.

Shikamaru, however, didn't seem uncomfortable at all. He yawned, stretched, then linked his hands behind his head, eyes shifting back to Temari.

"So, oh holy Blonde One," he drawled, "How've you been? Haven't seen you in a while."

Temari tensed. "Shika--"

BAM.

Now Tenten's door was the one blown off the hinges, revealing two very pissed off Yamanakas. They towered impressively above the other occupants of the room, who were either seated and therefore shorter. The light from candles inside Tenten's room silhouetted them, creating an almost cinematic effect.

The brunette's hair was down in a long, a wavy sea of chestnut that brushed the back of her calves. Her brown eyes snapped in fury, her face red. She wore a crimson sleeping yukata with gold and brown maple leaves embroidered on it, and a mahogany sash, the silk hugging her hips and thighs, the neckline drooping a bit to reveal flushed cleavage.

Behind her, Ino had changed from her gypsy costume into one of her sister's yukatas, white with large silver chrysanthemums woven into the pattern and a blue sash. Her hair had been pulled back up with a silver hair stick, and she hid behind her sister's towering form, looking upset and a little nervous.

"Tenten-sama," Shikamaru scrambled up to bow. "Ino--"

"Shut up, Nara," Tenten snapped viciously, producing a riding crop from nowhere and cracking it in front of his nose. The taller man cringed and meekly sat back down. "Not another word from you, or I'll have you executed for kidnapping and treason. Now,"

Her eyes swept the room and landed on her best friend. Ex-best friend, Sakura corrected in her head, considering the look of revulsion in Tenten's eyes as she beheld the now extremely sober woman,

"We have some things to discuss."

.-.-.-.-.

Sakura sighed, sitting down on a large stone bench in the middle of the Palace Gardens, under the shade of a large oak. The sun was viciously bright in the sky; she lifted a pale hand to block it out. Her pink and white paper sun umbrella lay closed on the bench beside her, and her other hand smoothed the matching qipao, white silk printed with large, deep pink chrysanthemums and small red sakura blossoms (Tenten's).

There was a lot to think about.

Suddenly several large shadows appeared around the vicinity of her raised hand and blocked out the bright rays of that giant gas ball we call the sun. Sakura looked up, to find that her companions' faces were indistinguishable, as they basically looked like three giant blobs of shadow. She stood, smoothing her qipao and picking up the umbrella. A-ha.

"Good morning, Hyuuga-sama, Gaara-sama, Naruto-kun," Sakura smiled politely, "To what do I owe the pleasure of your companies today?"

"Naruto observed a disturbance in your wing last night," Neji said carefully, in his even, calculated tone. "We inquire as to the cause."

Sakura smiled at the worried look on Naruto's face. "It was nothing," she replied calmly, as she opened her umbrella and began to walk down the path towards the rose arches. "Kiba was drunk, that's all."

Neji looked at Gaara, who shrugged. Naruto fidgeted and angled himself behind the redhead.

"We…saw Ino-san this morning. From your window."

Sakura froze in her step and turned. Shit.

"Gaara cannot ascertain the location of his sister."

Naruto popped out from behind his friend, encouraged by Neji's prodding.

"I saw that lazy ass Shikamaru today, too, and man, he did not look good. And come on, Sakura, there was a LOT of yelling. And crashing. I heard it, I'm like two doors away from you guys. And Neji and Hinata are, like, RIGHT beside you, ne, Neji? And Gaara--" he paused, "Where ARE you, Gaara?"

Gaara smiled rather sinisterly to himself, proud that Naruto had not yet discovered his area of residence.

"And I," Neji added, ignoring Naruto completely, "have lost an indiscernible amount of sleep, and I can assure you, I am in no way pleased."

Sakura sighed, turned, and located another bench. She sat down, and cocked her head expectantly at her (mostly) royal companions. They looked at each other, before deciding Hey, Whatever, complying and joining her.

"Gaara-sama," she began, "Temari is resting in my rooms. She was at the scene, rather, in the middle of this…event…last night." Her eyes shifted uncomfortably. Gaara, however, nodded in understanding.

"Shikamaru," he said slowly, contemplatively, "Ino. Temari. Same room, I assume. I see."

Naruto stared at Gaara, then at Sakura.

"What? I don't get it, what happened? Sakura-chan?"

Sakura opened her mouth, trying to form a non-embarrassing (and probably mostly false) explanation, but Gaara beat her to the chase.

"My sister was having a…tirade…with Nara Shikamaru before he became involved with Ino-san, and attempting to rekindle such when she discovered they had removed themselves from Mizu court, together. It is my belief that she had sent a flying missive to him. It is also my belief that Shikamaru received the missive, however, he was with Ino-san at the time. Please note, Sakura-san," Gaara added, "that this behavior was in no way encouraged at Sand. We offer our apologies if our Head of War Council is causing this rather curious and unfortunate…domestic disturbance."

Sakura closed her mouth and wrinkled her nose.

"Yeah," she huffed, abandoning all pretense of refined, ignorant politeness, "That's basically it, thanks, Gaara-sama."

Neji looked up from carving his initials into the stone bench with his kunai.

"And Ino-san came here? I do not understand."

To hell with this, Sakura decided, better from me than rumors from the maids.

"Ino was engaged to Sasuke before I was; I replaced my sister when she ran away. We're only ten months apart, you see. I think she was hoping to stop the engagement and retake her place, but Shikamaru found her, and Temari was in the room. We Yamanaka," here she raised her chin proudly, "are protective of our kin. I'm afraid Temari-san was rather…ganged up upon." Ha-ha. Take that.

"And you're on the outs right now, Sakura-chan? You guys and Temari-chan and Shikamaru?"

"Well," Sakura bit her lip and smiled. She was getting used to her role. "They're on the outs. I'm still mad at Ino for putting me here in the first place, I'm not siding with her, sister or not."

"You're not satisfied with your current position?"

All four heads whipped around to observe Uchiha Sasuke leaning against the trunk of the tree, in a blue tunic and black pants, a rather disgruntled look on his face, his black eyes piercing Sakura. She panicked. Shit. If I'm not careful, that won't be the only thing piercing me, she thought as she noted his katana.

"Uh," Sakura fumbled. Shitshitshitshitshit. "That's--that's not what I meant, um, Uchiha-sama, I--er--"

Naruto leapt up.

"Well of COURSE she's not SATISFIED I mean you DITCH her at a fucking BALL and then you never TALK to her or--gee, Sasuke-teme, is that you LOOKING at her? I cannot believe what my beautiful eyes are seeing, Sasuke the Great Almightly Lord of the UNIVERSE is ACKNOWLEDGING a WOMAN! Cause gosh darn, Sasuke, I always thought you were ASEXUAL."

Sasuke glared at Naruto with a sinister glower. The blonde was glaring right back in defensive indignation, Neji was ignoring them all, Gaara was looking slightly bemused, and Sakura was praying for a giant hole to open up and just swallow her whole.

"Shut up, dobe."

"Teme! If this is how you're gonna treat a pretty girl like Sakura-chan she'd be better off with me--"

At which point Neji promptly Gentle Fisted Naruto.

That was the theory anyways, because in reality, Naruto yelped and ducked, and Neji wasn't really aiming anyways.

"What the hell was that for, Neji?!"

"You're engaged to Hinata. Do not shame the Hyuuga name by throwing yourself at someone else's woman."

Naruto twitched in shock.

"Wha--I'm--what the HELL is wrong with everyone today?! First Sasuke gets a sexuality--"

"You wanna die, dobe?"

"--then Neji LIKES someone from the Main House?!"

And, because his head hurt and because he's Naruto, he punched the tree.

Which Shikamaru fell out of, scrambling for some sort of balance.

His eventual position was a lot less than graceful, with one leg hooked on the branch, the other twitching in midair, one hand scrabbling on the trunk, and the other planted unceremoniously on Sasuke's head. The prince twitched and grabbed the offending arm, flipping Shikamaru with a WHAM onto the base of the tree.

Sakura gaped. Hi, entire male population of the castle, thank you for bombarding me today, she thought dryly. If Manners Mistress could see me now…oh the heart attacks…

Shikamaru stared up in annoyance at them all, rubbing his head.

"This is so troublesome."

Gaara cocked his head, trying to decide whether to kill him or not.

"Well," Sakura smiled nervously, trying to smooth her updo, "Isn't this a pleasant little gathering, I'd love to stay but I've gotta go--"

"SAKURA-SAN!!"

And EVERYONE'S eyebrow twitched, as a giant ball of green and black hurtled towards the stone bench gathering.

"Lee-san…it's…it's so nice to see you…"

"MY ANGEL REMEMBERS ME! OH WHAT JOY! I CAN DIE A HAPPY MAN! BUT I SHALL NOT! FOR SWEET SAKURA-SAN, I MUST LIVE, AND PROTECT YOU FROM--"

He paused, when he realized Sasuke was, in fact, present, and cockily waiting for him to continue his tirade so he could kick Lee's ass.

Sakura mentally twitched. She just came out for some fresh air, and now she's got Sasuke, Neji, Gaara, Naruto, Shikamaru and Lee surrounding her, all in different states of indifference, annoyance and confusion. She opened her mouth to attempt to excuse herself again, when:

"Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakura-chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!"

"Shit," Shikamaru muttered, as he attempted to scramble back up his tree. Gaara indifferently reached out and grabbed him by the neck, dragging him back to the ground. "Take it like a man, Nara," he said blandly. Shikamaru sighed. "Shit. I am so dead."

Sakura stood up immediately, beholding a glowing Ino in a white harem sundress and straw bonnet, waving her arm, Kiba two steps behind her. "Ino," she began nervously, "Kiba, uh, I can totally explain cause this is NOTHING like it looks like--"

At which the men all realized they were all in physical positions that, to a stranger, would look suspiciously as if they were all simultaneously vying for the pink-haired girl's attention. Which Lee was, on one bended knee, but that's not the point.

Ino, however, grinned.

"Oh, sure, Sakura, cause it wasn't suspicious when Tenten told me that she sensed an extraordinary concentration of chakra and testosterone here, and that I should get you cause that's probably where you were, but and so here I am, and could I inquire, is this amorous situation one that occurs often because if it is me and Ten and Hana and all the girls could just KILL you, Forehead Girl--"

Sakura blushed a million shades at Ino's informal tone, and looked around, but no one seemed to be at all shocked or scandalized. In fact, the look on all their faces stated it was nothing out of the ordinary, except for Shikamaru, who looked extremely ruffled and a little frightened.

Kiba shifted beside Naruto, who was staring at Ino in amazement.

"Does she breathe?" the blonde whispered to his companion. Kiba just shrugged and rolled his eyes, a grin on his face.

"--and anyways, Ten wants you cause she says we gotta start fitting you for all the new stuff that just came in and she says if you don't come she's taking all of it cause, let's face it, you're just as tiny as we are, and some of your kimono are pretty freaking gorgeous and let's also face it, Tenten loves kimonos and she's actually thinking of having more tailored, as if she needs anymore, but there's this one dress I really like, can I have it please and whoa, Sasuke-kun," insert batting of eyelashes, "don't you look absolutely stunning, though, might I say, it looks like someone didn't get their caffeine today--"

She suddenly stopped, her blue eyes fixed on--whaddaya know--Shikamaru.

Sakura quickly turned. "I'm so excited, Ino," she said quickly, stepping in front of the ANBU. "I can't wait, come on, let's go!" And with that, she swept a quick curtsey to the congregation of some of the most powerful men in the world, before smiling apologetically and grabbing Ino, promptly making a mad dash for it.

Kiba whistled long and low.

"Damn, that girl runs fast. Whaddaya think, Naruto, three inch heels? Maybe four?"

There was silence as they all stared at Kiba.

"What?" he retorted guardedly, "You try it."

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

Apparently, men didn't much know what to do with themselves when left to their own devices in a large group.

Finally, Sasuke prodded Neji with his foot.

"Hyugga. Spar."

.-.-.-.-.

It wasn't fair, Sakura decided.

She stood on a wood block, with women scrambling and bickering around her, pinning and repining pieces of fabric on her frame, before rapidly reseaming them for fashionable perfection. A tall, dark-haired woman with gray eyes stood in the midst of them, calm in their frenzy, picking with her long pale fingers at Sakura's sleeves and hem, and waist and giving quiet instructions. And Sakura doesn't think she's seen this many clothes in her life (well, except for when she stepped into Tenten's walk-in closet and almost fainted).

There were gowns of pink, yellow, blue, green…every color Sakura could think of. There were sundresses with light designs, everyday dresses of a soft fabric, textures like nothing she's felt before, kimono with hand painted patterns in metallic hues, wraps, shawls, coats, shoes, and Sakura wondered if she had a closet big enough to fit it all.

And that's WITH Ino stealing pieces from the pile on Tenten's bed every few minutes for herself and her sister.

Who was calmly sitting at the wrought-iron and glass table on the balcony, sipping coffee, a few papers on the table beside her, watching them, her long hair down, her legs crossed, and wearing nothing but a lilac slip and a white silk dressing gown.

Which lead Sakura back to deciding the world was unfair.

They're my cousins, she thought bitterly, sneaking glances over her shoulder, there isn't that much of a genetic difference. Of course the King was gorgeous and the Queen was gorgeous, but Mother is equally gorgeous, and rating your dad on a hot scale was too awkward to contemplate. Nevertheless, how can these two creatures, by simply being royalty, look so completely and utterly dazzling in the simplest of clothes and a dabble of makeup--Tenten none at all--when Sakura's own were made to highlight and amaze, and it took ages to paint her in the mornings? And how can the Yamanaka effortlessly rise to the top of the beauty pyramid without a sweat, and skyrocket above the rest of the poor women at Court with just a little effort, when Sakura is barely scraping a "beautiful" after hours in front of the mirror?

Not. Fair.

"Is she done, Takuda-san?" Tenten's voice floated from the balcony, her eyes now fixated on a card from the small stack in front of her.

The tall, willowy woman straightened, patting her black hair back into place. "Yes," she replied in a dreamy tone, "This should be quite sufficient for now. Two hours. Excellent progress, milady. We'll have you back for the rest in a few days. Is that quite alright?"

Sakura could only ejaculate a quick "Yes" before the black silk gown was pried over her head rather viciously by the gentle looking Takuda-san and tossed to the seamstress, who rapidly took apart and redid a few seams before in turn handing it to Ayame, who hung it up.

With collective, polite bows, Takuda-san and her team gathered the not-yet-tackled pile and left.

Sakura grabbed a white shift and quickly pulled it on, eyes flickering to the small stack of clothes Ino had stolen, admiring the pretty colors and textures. Oh well, she shrugged. She had more than enough.

As if reading her mind, Tenten stood up, and began finger-combing her hair. "It's Court season," she said, walking over to examine what Ino had snitched for her, "You'll need a different dress every night."

Ino squealed giddily, seeming to have forgotten everything to do with Shikamaru. "I'm so excited," she dropped the silver gown she had been pressing against her (perfect, Sakura thought bitterly) body and pranced over to Sakura, grabbing Sakura's hands with her beautifully manicured ones (two weeks in the wild and her nails are perfect?!) as Tenten admired a crimson kimono, "I've decided to stay here until the wedding. I'm having my things sent over, and I'm staying in your room, cause Tenten has too many clothes for mine to fit in her closet, too." She grinned and squealed again. "Oh, this is so exciting!"

"Huh," Sakura replied, trying to clear her ears of Ino's high pitched excitement. "Stop squealing, Ino, or they'll really think you're a pig."

Ino turned and smirked. "Too bad your clothes can't cover that giant forehead, Sakura-chan. Oh, oh my, is that what I think it is? Are humans populating that vast expanse?"

Tenten snorted and cleared her throat, holding up the card she had been examining earlier.

"Most Honorable Yamanaka Tenten-sama, Ino-sama and Sakura-sama;

You have been cordially invited to take tea in companionship with Their Highnesses Uchiha Itachi-sama, Uchiha Sasuke-sama, Hyuuga Neji-sama, Sabaku no Gaara-sama and Uzumaki Naruto-sama Friday at high noon. We hope for your presence to grace our gardens.

Uchiha Fugaku."

She flipped it over with a smirk.

"Heyyy Sakura-chan! I'm supposed to tell ya, we'll come get you, cause if you didn't notice there's no specific time or place on the invite, how dumb is that? And, this invite is kinda old…I think some old retard lost it trying to find you but don't worry!!"

Sakura smacked her head. "Naruto," she sighed and smiled wryly. "Does he really write like that?"

Tenten grinned, nodded, and continued: "Oh, and Tenten-chan, we have some baaaaaaaaaaaad news wink wink!! Itachi decided to be all 'Oh look at me I'm so great and mysterious" again, and he went off to God-knows-where so I guess you'll be--"

Tenten stopped and stared at the card, blushing furiously. Ino, not to be trifled with, leaned forward and snatched it from her sister's grasping fingers.

"Hey!!"

"Itachi decided to be all 'Oh look at me I'm so great and mysterious' again," Ino continued with a smirk, "and he went off to God-knows-where so--God, that idiot writes small--I guess you'll be going with…Neji wink wink!"

Ino gasped and burst into laughter.

"Hyuuga Neji! Ooo-ooooo, Ten!"

Sakura grinned, stealing the card again. "Cause this is actually one of those boring formal things, where you have to come with a date, so Hinata's coming! Yay! I think she has a fever or somethingcause she's really red all the time, maybe she's sick do you know what it could be? Actually if I think about it it's been going on since her dad engaged us but I haven't really looked into it or anything, lemme know if you know. Anyways we've got no idea who Gaara's going with and it's really scary to even be thinking about it, but I think it's gonna be YOU, Ino-chan! Yeah! Cause he's got no date and technically you've got no date! I can add! See! Have fun don't be late be pretty see you later bye! Naruto."

And Ino turned ten different shades of red.

"Oh my God," she whispered, "GAARA?!"

Tenten giggled. "Oh, he's not that bad," she smiled, retrieving the invitation and setting it on her beside table. Sakura agreed. "He's really nice, really," she insisted.

"Easy for you to say, you're going with Hyuuga Neji, he's got hair like a goddess and a body like a god!" Ino seethed. "And you, Uchiha Sasuke! You know how many years of my childhood I dreamed about that kid? UGH! This is SO unfair! Gaara used to KILL people! Viciously! I hate you!"

And she turned on her heel and began rifling through Tenten's clothes.

"Apparently she's going anyways," Sakura commented drly.

"Apparently," Tenten agreed with a smile.

.-.-.-.-.

Anyone still out there?

knockknock

Hullo? Review please?