A/N: Sorry this has taken me so long to post… I wanted to write chapters 4 and 5 as well before I published this one to make sure I liked where the story was going! Those chapters will be up soon, too, after I edit them. Also, I've slightly changed one little plot line from the way it's been told on TV. You'll know it when you see it. Thanks for reading & hope you enjoy it! :)
"Uh, guys, I'm not sure this is the first impression I want to make…"
Betty stood in a dressing room at the trendy Henri Bendel department store on Fifth Avenue wearing a body-hugging red tube dress. She grimaced at her reflection in the mirror as Hilda and Christina stood behind her, sizing up each outfit she tried on.
"Ay, Betty, it's sexy and fun! And colorful!" Hilda enthused about the dress she had picked for her sister to try on.
"And Gio's mom will think I'm one of the girls from the 'Hole Lot of Fun' strip club!" Betty sighed heavily in frustration. "Who meets someone's parents on the first date anyway?!"
"It must be serious," Hilda teased as an amused grin appeared on her face.
"Shut up," Betty shot back. "It's just Gio."
Hilda smirked. "Chica, I don't think it's been 'just Gio' for a while now..."
Christina nodded in agreement. "He's been following her around Mode since before Christmas. Everyone knows it's not just sandwich meat he wants to give her!"
"Christina!" Betty scolded, her cheeks burning a bright crimson.
"I know, right?" Hilda laughed. "If Justin, Papi, and I hadn't come in the kitchen the other night when we did, Betty and Gio would've totally--"
"Is this really necessary?!" Betty interrupted. "As much as I love you two talking about me like I'm not here, I still have absolutely nothing to wear to this dinner!"
"Well, definitely not that," Christina critiqued, shaking her head at the red tube dress Betty still had on. "Try this one on next," she said as she pushed an ivory halter dress into Betty's hands.
"You know I don't wear white," she started to protest.
"Well, you do now!" Christina said as she shoved Betty back into the dressing room and slammed the door behind her.
Christina and Hilda waited for the familiar sound of Betty groaning at yet another unflattering outfit but were instead met with curious silence. "This one's not so bad," she finally said, opening the door to the dressing room. She spun around and the ivory fabric flowed flawlessly around her curves.
"That's bloody gorgeous!" Christina breathed.
"Mmm, Betty, you could do some serious damage in that," Hilda nodded in approval.
"Really? You think it looks good?"
"Your sandwich boy's going to be all over you like turkey on rye!" Christina exclaimed.
Betty rolled her eyes in exasperation and looked down at the price tag on the dress. Her eyes bulged. "Oh my God... Is this someone's phone number? Or is this really the price of this dress?"
"Oh shush! I told you, it's on Mode," Christina said as she pulled a shiny black credit card from her purse. Betty flinched as her bittersweet feelings toward Mode came to mind. Now that she'd come back from Mexico and Daniel was gone, Claire had decided to keep her on as an assistant writer. She was excited about the opportunity but felt bad about benefiting from a company that had fired someone who was such a good friend to her. And to secretly use the Meade's money for a dress...
"Betty, I know what you're thinking," Christina started. "But you need to bloody stop it. The Meades are bazillionaires and they spend more money than this on hookers and sex changes! Now put your clothes back on and hurry up. I'm having mad cravings for chocolate and pastrami."
Betty turned back toward the mirror and smiled. It really was the perfect summer dress. After she'd changed back into her clothes, they all walked up to the café so Christina could satisfy her pregnancy cravings. While Christina and Hilda waited in line, she wandered over to the lingerie department, browsing through shelves of silky La Perla underwear.
"Look at her," Christina mumbled. "Now she's shopping for what goes under the dress!"
"Who knew my baby sister would be such a heartbreaker?" Hilda mused.
"She's going to break more than just hearts with those panties she's picking out!"
Christina and Hilda watched as Betty looked suspiciously to the left and right before grabbing a white lacy thong and rushing to the nearest cashier. They both shook their heads in disbelief. There was no denying it: the girl had it bad for the sandwich guy.
--
Gio walked over to the passenger side of his van and opened the door for Betty. He exhaled heavily and looked down at his feet as she hopped out of the vehicle. Gio knew from the start that the entire night was going to be a battle of self-control when he'd watched her come down the stairs of her house wearing that little white dress. One thing was certain: It sure beat the hell out of those sweater things she always had on. Using his male expertise, he was pretty sure she even had some fancy underwear on underneath the dress, which didn't do much to help his self-control problem. Despite her looking the way she did, he could tell that she had absolutely no clue how beautiful she was. And in his mind, there was nothing sexier than a woman who was completely breathtaking and didn't even know it.
Gio took Betty's hand in his and lead her up the sidewalk to the Rossi's brownstone. "Okay," Betty began. "Let's see if I have it all straight. Your Aunt Elena is deaf in the left ear so when I talk to her, I need to be standing to her right. Your Uncle Leo hates the Red Sox so if baseball comes up, I'll pretend to be a Yankees fan. Your brother Rocco is a perverted frat boy so I shouldn't be surprised if he talks to my chest instead of my face. And whatever I do, I shouldn't stare at your mom's bald spot."
"Good job, Suarez. Did you make flashcards or something?" he joked.
Betty suddenly stopped walking and tugged on Gio's hand. "Hey, I have an idea!" she said nervously. "It's such a warm night out, so how about we go get ice cream instead? No one will even notice that we didn't come!"
"Betty, stop worrying. They're just my relatives. They're even stupider than me, if that's possible."
She ignored him completely and continued her anxious rambling. "Or we could go to that new restaurant you were talking about--"
"You either walk in that house with me on your own two feet or I'm throwing you over my shoulder and carrying you in. Your choice."
Betty looked up at his pleading eyes and let out a sigh of defeat. "Okay, okay…"
Gio couldn't help but laugh to himself at how nervous she was about meeting his weirdo family. She looked so damn cute when she was all flustered and on edge. He pulled her close to give her a quick kiss before going in. The front door suddenly swung open and Antonella stood in the entryway, looking blankly at Gio and Betty in their embrace.
"Mom, Dad, Braces is here with Gio! They're like making out on the front porch!" Antonella yelled as she turned and walked back into the house, leaving the front door hanging wide open.
Betty's face smoldered in embarrassment. "Well, this is a great start to the evening!" she said sarcastically as she followed Gio into his family's house, already crowded with his relatives. Almost immediately, two little twin girls ran up to Gio and wrapped themselves around each of his legs.
"Betty, these little rats are my cousins, Tessa and Bianca. Can you girls say hi to Betty?"
Instead of greeting Betty, the girl attached to Gio's left leg pointed up at him and yelled, "Gio's got a fat head!" The twins giggled furiously at him before running off.
Betty put a hand over her mouth and tried to stifle her laughing. Gio looked back at her and raised his eyebrows. "Looks like my 3-year-old cousins are almost as feisty as you, B," he said as he began walking toward the kitchen.
She elbowed him in the stomach as she walked beside him down the hall. "I am not feisty."
"Don't kid yourself. You're as feisty as they come. And so is this woman over here." He nodded toward a short, dark-haired woman cooking intently over the stove. There was no question in Betty's mind that it was Gio's mother.
"Mamma! Suo bel figlio è a casa!" Gio arrogantly called to her. The woman turned around and smiled that familiar Rossi grin.
"If your ego gets any bigger, it won't fit in the house," his mother laughed, giving Gio a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. She pulled away and held him at arms length, narrowing her eyes at his stubble. "Che macello! Gio, you need to shave! I always tell him to shave but he never listens to me!" she explained to Betty with a sigh. "She'll never kiss you with cheeks like that!"
"Uh, riiight. Betty, this is obviously my mom, Mona. Mamma, this is Betty."
"Hi, Mrs. Rossi, it's so nice to meet you!" Betty coyly said, holding out her hand. Mona Rossi brushed away her hand and instead greeted Betty by kissing both sides of her face.
"Betty, we're so glad that you could come tonight. Gio's so happy to have finally found a girl who eats! He's been talking for months now about how much you come into his deli. After all those sandwiches, I was expecting him to bring home a girl who was as big as a horse!"
"Well, yeah, that's Gio's deli for you!" Betty said, her nervousness causing her to be overly-cheerful. "He always keeps you coming back for more!" She regretted her choice of words as soon as they slipped out of her mouth. Luckily, Gio's mom kept smiling as brightly as ever, so Betty figured the accidental innuendo went over her head. She glanced to the side and quickly glared at Gio who was looking smug.
All of a sudden, an eye-catching woman with long, brown hair and olive skin barged through the kitchen, practically taking out everyone in her path while she screamed into her cell phone.
"There goes Bridezilla," Gio said as he watched his sister angrily plow through the kitchen. "Maybe now's not the time to introduce you to Pía," he said to Betty, puzzled why his sister was acting so irritated on the night of their family's celebration of her getting married. Gio turned toward his mother. "What's her problem?"
Mona Rossi's face fell a bit. "Oh, that fiancé of hers… He's a workaholic. He called earlier and said he'd be a little late. He just started up a community development project over in Brooklyn and hasn't been around as much as Pía wants. And you know your sister-- she has no patience!"
Betty watched as Gio sucked in a sharp breath. He clenched his jaw tightly and balled his fists at his sides. It was official: he was entering protective brother mode.
"Then why's she marrying the asshole? He can't even be bothered to show up on time for the dinner before his own wedding?" Gio's mind raced with all the things he would do upon meeting the guy who was causing his sister to be so upset. "Sounds like he needs to be reminded how we do things in this neighborhood--"
"Giovanni Rossi, you know better than to speak like that in this house!" his mother reprimanded. "Your father and I've met Pía's fiancé quite a few times now and aside from his work schedule, he's been wonderful to her. Amore, you have to remember, your sister's not a little girl anymore. She has good judgment and can make decisions for herself." Mona Rossi shook her head and looked at Betty. "I don't know what we're going to do with him when Antonella starts to date!"
"Hey, it'll be a good 10 years before that happens," Gio said matter-of-factly.
"Gio, she's already thirteen," Betty responded in disbelief.
"Exactly. Twenty-three is a good age to start dating."
Both Betty and his mother stared back at him with incredulous faces.
"What?!" he blurted. "Why do you think I chaperoned Nella's school dance back in May?"
"He's hopeless," Mona declared. "Anyway, I better feed all these people before they get too drunk off wine and cocktails to eat! Amore, why don't you take Betty to meet your father and brother? They're wandering around here somewhere…" She politely kissed Betty's cheek once more. "We'll talk more after dinner, Betty, without this crazy one hanging around," she said, gesturing toward her son.
"Ah, you don't want me around. That means you're going to be talking about me." Gio's eyebrows rose as he smiled his cocky smile.
"Yes, and naked baby pictures will be involved. Now go," she scooted him out of the kitchen and into the hallway. Mona Rossi watched as her son whispered something in Betty's ear before kissing her on the nose and leading her down the hall. She smiled to herself. He was in love.
--
Pía Rossi stood in the bathroom of her family's house, pacing back and forth with her cell phone in hand. She wasn't going to kid herself any longer: for the past month, her fiancé had been seriously shady. All of a sudden he had some new 'community development project' across town and was never home.
What the hell kind of bullshit excuse was that anyway? she thought angrily.
They'd had their ups and downs over the past year that they'd been dating, but he'd never acted like this before. Well, whatever it was, she was not going to let him embarrass her this close to their wedding. No way. Whatever issues they were having could be fixed after they got married.
A single tear trickled down her cheek as she flipped open her phone and dialed his number for the fifteenth time that night, letting it ring until the familiar voicemail recording once again started playing.
--
Hilda rolled over, her arm brushing against the empty space in bed beside her. She pulled the sheets around her bare body as she sat up and looked at the already-dressed man in front of her. Smiling, she playfully asked, "Where do you think you're going, mister?"
"I've already stayed too long. I really better get going. I'm sorry." He smiled down at her in bed.
"Alright, alright…" Hilda reluctantly stood and fumbled for her clothes on the floor. "Do you wanna get together this weekend? Maybe go to the club?" She tried to remain optimistic.
"This weekend's not too good. We might have to wait until later next week."
"Oh, ok."
Just as Hilda walked into the bathroom in his apartment to fix her hair, his cell phone started vibrating on the nightstand beside the bed. He picked it up and looked grudgingly at the screen: fifteen missed calls in the past hour. He swallowed heavily as reality hit him like a brick wall.
"Even a hair stylist can't do much to fix sex hair!" Hilda laughed, coming back from the bathroom. "Alright Coach, I'm ready!" she said, picking up her purse and car keys.
Tony Diaz walked Hilda to her car before getting in his own and speeding across town to the house of his fiancé's family. He was only a little over an hour late. Hopefully she would forgive him.
--
Betty was surprised at how easy dinner with Gio's family was. Although his relatives were kind of loud and weird, they were all so nice and welcoming to her. Looking around, she started to wonder just how many people he had in his family, anyway. They were like a bunch of rabbits: you turned around and all of a sudden there were more of them. Despite the endless amounts of relatives, the night was going perfectly.
Except for one thing.
Her new lacy La Perla thong was killing her. She didn't even know how she lasted through dinner without ripping it off. She excused herself from the table while everyone was eating dessert and walked to the bathroom. She found it locked.
Pía's probably in there for another round of phone calls, she thought.
Betty hesitantly looked up the staircase to the second floor. She knew that there had to be another bathroom up there, but she didn't want to go snooping through the Rossi's house to find it. She stood there, shifting from foot to foot, feeling the stupid thong grow more uncomfortable by the second.
I can't take it anymore! she screamed in her head. She walked up the steps to the second floor finally came to a closed door at the end of the hall. Betty saw a sliver of light shining under the door and heard someone on the other side. She let out a frustrated groan. As if there would actually be an empty bathroom in a houseful of 25 people.
Out of total desperation, Betty finally ducked into a room that seemed to be a spare bedroom. She shut the door and flicked the light switch. As the room flooded with brightness, her eyes scanned the navy blue walls lined with trophies, awards, sports memorabilia, and old pictures. It was Gio's old bedroom.
Betty wandered over to a bookcase and picked up a picture frame sitting on the top shelf. In the middle of the photo was Gio surrounded by the rest of his baseball team, looking short and scrawny as a teenager. She smiled, putting the picture back, and thumbed through the books on the shelf. Horatio Alger, Charles Dickens, John Milton, Orson Welles...
These have to be here for decoration, Betty thought. If Gio actually read these, then that means he's... somewhat intelligent. She scrunched up her nose, unable to comprehend the thought.
"Hmm, what's this?" Betty asked herself as she leaned down to grab a small black box from the floor. As she moved, the uncomfortable chafing of lace against her skin reminded her why she'd come upstairs to begin with.
"For fifty dollars, this thong really should be a lot more comfortable," she mumbled, reaching under her dress and sliding the scratchy fabric down her legs.
"Betty, are you up here?" Gio's soft voice came from the hallway. Betty snapped to attention and looked around at the mess she'd created. She quickly shoved Gio's books back on the shelf and put the unopened black box back on the floor. Last but not least, she jammed the lacy underwear into her purse just as Gio boldly walked into the room.
"You're supposed to knock before you open closed doors!" she scolded him.
Gio scoffed at her. "Oh come on! This is my old room. I can open the door whenever I want." His brows furrowed as she stood awkwardly front of him. "So... what are you doing in here?"
"Oh, just...taking a stroll!"
"Uh huh. What's that?" He pointed to her bag.
"What's what? I don't know what you're talking about," she screeched.
He deftly reached around her arm and tugged at the white lace that was sticking out of the top of her bag. She quickly smacked his hand away.
"Excuse you! That doesn't belong to you!"
"Yeah, well nothing in this room belongs to you, either, but I bet you went snooping through it!"
"I didn't snoop!"
"Then what are you doing up here?"
Betty narrowed her eyes into little slits and pointed her finger in Gio's face. "Do you have any clue how it feels to be in a strange house wearing really uncomfortable underwear that you just paid fifty dollars for and you can't even find any place to go fix it because there's about a thousand people in the house and only two bathrooms which always seem to be full?!"
Gio stared at her, stunned by her verbal attack. Then he realized what the white lace was that he saw sticking out of her bag. His jaw dropped.
"So if that's in there," he pointed toward her bag, thinking out loud. "Then what's..."
"Shut up, Gio!"
"You know, I had a feeling when I woke up this morning that today would be a good day, but I had no clue I'd be this lucky!"
"I said shut up, Gio!!"
He walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist, his hands moving dangerously low on her back. "I guess I should add panty melter onto my list of talents."
"Ew." Betty shoved him playfully in the chest. "My panties have nothing to do with you."
"That's what you think, Suarez," he murmured, leaning down to kiss her. No sooner did he brush his lips against her own that her cell phone started ringing.
"Ok, I'm starting to think that all of these interruptions are signs that we shouldn't stay alone in the same room together!" She exhaled heavily and flipped open her phone. "Hello? Hey Papí...Yeah...Is he ok for now...? Yeah I think we can do that. Ok..."
Betty threw the phone back into her purse. "Justin's broken leg is giving him problems... He needs more pain medication, but Hilda decided to go out tonight so there's no one around to drive to the pharmacy to get the pills." She looked up at Gio with begging eyes. "Would you--"
"Just let me grab my jacket," he said, already pulling his keys from his pocket. Betty breathed a sigh of relief. He never failed to come to her rescue.
After saying a thousand goodbyes to everyone in his family, Betty and Gio hopped into his van and sped off to the pharmacy. Moments later, Tony Diaz pulled up in front of the house. He hastily checked his hair and face in the mirror. There were no signs of evidence of his affair with Hilda, and he was once again ready to be Pía's fiancé, the man that she knew and loved.