AN: I own nothing. Possible one shot or chapter fic. Pairing: Major C/B, with some S/D, N/B.
Sunrise in Aries
Chapter 1- All I Want
Sometimes she wondered what he was like as a child. Blair couldn't imagine that he smiled or ever showed any signs of affection because he was Chuck Bass. He met her gaze with expressions summed up in lust, and spoke in a low whisper that sent chills up her spine. She had every reason to hate him.
Chuck made her lose control. She made exceptions for him that she didn't for others, and the most tragic thing of all was that she loved him. Blair would never admit this love however, because that would give Chuck complete control. If he knew that she loved him then he could destroy her. That was the game they played. Own, Seduce, and Destroy.
Blair wondered in Chuck loved her. Sometimes she thought he did, but then she would see him with a bunch of ugly sluts that deserved no name. Blair pretended not to care, but secretly she wanted to tackle every single one of the sluts and tell them that Chuck Bass was her property. She wanted to own him but she could never.
Blair missed the games they played. It was foreplay for them. She would set out on a victim and then Chuck would finish off the job. He complimented her like a brand new expensive dress that fit well. He complimented her. Blair still wondered why Chuck followed Nate to Yale, if he was going to act like this.
He was cold. She guessed that she deserved it because of what she did, but settling down with Chuck scared her. They weren't the couple that would have five kids, a cozy get away cottage in Maine, and a Golden Retriever.
He knew that and so did she. Blair could see herself having that life with Nate though which was why she choose him. Sure Nate didn't give her the fire that Chuck did. Nate was handsome, slightly damaged, but not excessively so like Chuck, and he was more dependable.
Well as dependable as dependable could get. Nate was Chuck's best friend, and if Chuck were capable of loving anyone, it would be him. Blair wasn't sure why though. She was jealous of the way Chuck always put Nate on a pedestal, only to be let down time and time again.
Blair wanted to attack Nate herself for not seeing how lucky he was to have Chuck in his purest form. But she wouldn't. Blair insisted that she was over Chuck; she pretended to hate his guts. But Chuck should know by now that her hate was not to be underestimated.
She was masochistic and so was he, they shouldn't be together, but yet when she was really sick and deluded she saw herself ending up with Chuck. If she closed her eyes during those brief intervals of sickness she saw a Manhattan sky rise, with state of the art décor, maybe one kid, which the nanny would watch, and Chuck tied up in her bed room.
He would be wearing the burgundy silk boxers, the fire would be roaring in the fireplace and he would tell her that he loved her over and over again. For her fantasy to work, he would have to tell her that he loved her, because she would never admit to such abominations even if they were true.
Her fantasies often got her through the most boring of philosophy lectures. School bored her in general, but she always paid just enough attention to get her A's. Blair didn't like to settle for anything less than she deserved. She worked herself hard, maybe too hard at times, but in the end she knew there would be a payoff.
Her parents were proud, well somewhat, and one day she would work along side her mom, and finally get the approval she craved. Blair tapped her pen against the sheet of loose leaf covered with notes on the tedious lecture, and various notes for the Halloween party she and Serena were throwing later tonight.
Serena was going to be Catwoman, how unoriginal, and she was going to be the female Bob the Builder. Blair had already put together a very sexy uniform that would make all the boys drool, and keep the attention on her. At least she didn't have to worry about Serena upstaging her, because leather was sexy, but skin was undeniable.
Blair smiled in satisfaction. Tonight was going to be fun. Up front the professor Miss Williams was discussing how great the first papers were. Blair put on a smug smile until Miss Williams, who she didn't like gave her, her paper. Blair's smile fell. "A D!" she exclaimed.
Blair was loud enough to draw attention from the entire class.
"We can discuss your grade Miss Waldorf after class."
"But a D!" Blair continued hysterically. "I've never gotten below a B on anything in my life."
"Oh sit down," some girl behind her sighed arrogantly.
"I will not!" Blair huffed. She took her pen and threw it at the girl's head.
"Oh no that bitch didn't," The other girl stood up, "I'm about to break your ass in half."
"Lay one hand on me and you'll see what happens." Blair dared.
"Get out of my classroom," Professor Williams said to Blair, "And there will be no discussion on your grade. I read your paper, it was all over the place, and it lacked consistency. You deserved a D."
xxxxBlairxxxx
"Serena van der Woodsen!" Blair screamed.
"Come in," Serena said.
Blair threw open the door, "Remember that paper you wrote me for Bitch Williams? Well guess what I got?"
"A B?" Serena asked hopefully.
"No Serena! A D, I got a D!"
"Well sorry," Serena apologized half-heartedly. "B, I'm sorry but you knew you had that paper due. I wrote it for you because you were too wasted to write it yourself."
Blair collapsed onto Serena's bed. "I don't get D's,"
"Well I do, D's aren't so bad." Serena offered. She gave Blair a weak smile, "B, just go talk to your professor tomorrow and I'm sure you'll be able to sway her. Blair you can sway anyone." Serena walked over to Blair and rubbed her back. "You can't seriously be mad at me."
"I'm not," Blair sighed. She placed her hand to her cheek. "I just hate Connecticut, and New Haven, and the bitches that live here. This girl tried to fight me in my class."
"Did you provoke her?" Serena asked.
"No!" Blair insisted. "She attacked me for no reason."
Serena had trouble believing that. "How about we go grab some dinner and then we can get all sexy for our party." Serena wrapped her arms around Blair, "You still want to party right?"
"Of course I do. Have you seen Nate?" Blair asked.
"No," Serena said, "But I have seen Chuck with that cheap girl that wears way too much make up and the short ugly skirts. He's just using her to get to you." Serena used to think that Blair and Chuck were the worst medicine for each other, but over time she started to understand their attraction.
Serena still didn't trust Chuck, because Chuck was Chuck, but when he was around Blair he seemed more human. Serena couldn't explain the smile that used to appear on Chuck's face when Blair came in the room, or the poem that she had found in Chuck's notebook their senior year.
It wasn't a love poem because Chuck didn't write them, but it was angrier. In it Chuck had stated that Nate and Blair were too good for each other. He called them boring and safe, and stated that Blair was dedicated to Nate while Nate was dedicated to himself. He also said in so many words that he and Blair was on the same level.
They used people, but to a certain degree. Blood had to be drawn but not too much, and that Blair made him hope for things that he shouldn't. Whatever that meant. Serena rarely saw into Chuck's twisted psyche, but that one letter explained so much. Serena also had to admit that she felt like Nate and Blair were settling for each other.
They had dated since elementary school so they had an epic romance built on juice boxes and PB & J sandwiches, but that didn't mean their childhood romance transferred well into the adult world.
"What are you thinking about?" Blair asked wiggling out of Serena's arms. "And please don't say downer Dan."
"No," Serena said honestly. She did spend a lot of time thinking about Dan, but only because he was here in her school, being all Dan like around her. They didn't talk but she still loved him. When they were together Serena thought they needed to do a lot of growing.
Their relationship was based on lies, and Dan never could accept her for who she was. She didn't miss their random fights, pointless break-ups, or Georgina for that matter. But she did miss Dan, in the early stages of their relationship when she had been the girl of his dreams. Serena wanted to talk to Blair about her thoughts on Dan but she knew Blair didn't want to hear it.
Besides Dan had obviously moved on. Since coming to Yale, he had apparently been popular with all the intellectual girls. Serena spotted him at coffee shops, with girls in LL Bean turtlenecks, talking about Shakespeare and Rousseau, and she had no choice but to keep walking.
She wasn't a Shakespeare kind of girl; but instead a let's live in the moment, let's rock this world kind of girl.
Blair was pulling her up.
"I'm in the mood for steak," Blair said.
"Yum," Serena chanted throwing her arms around her. When she looked at Blair she could see that she was still bothered, but Serena wasn't sure if it was her grade this time.
xxxxChuckxxxx
"Dude you were watching Audrey Hepburn movies," Nate stated as he tossed a pillow at Chuck's head.
Chuck opened his eyes. He had to adjust to the fading sunlight filtering in through his blinds because he was hung over. Chuck had skipped all of his classes to keep company with tequila shots, and some girl named Ashley. She was just as boring as her name. After sex, Chuck kicked her out, she wanted to cuddle, but he didn't do cuddling.
He had only cuddled once and with her everything was an exception.
Nate wrinkled his nose, "It smells like a frat house in here," He opened the window allowing the crisp New Haven air to spill in. "I was thinking that we could get dinner? How does steak sound."
"Scrumptious Nathaniel," Chuck said groggily as he placed his hand to the bridge of his nose.
Nate looked between him and the television. "Was Blair over here or something," He tried to force a smile, but his insecurities were obviously showing through.
"Nate wait outside for me, Blair and I haven't talked since I came to this school. She's dead to me you know that." She wasn't dead to him. She was very much alive. Chuck hated keeping his distance from Blair because of the things she did to him. Even when she wasn't in the room he smelled the lavender of her shampoo, and the expensive soap she used from France to wash her body. Although she was far away he was still addicted.
Addicted like a fucking drug.
Blair Waldorf was a bitch for making his body ache. She choose Nate over him repeatedly, even though she claimed she didn't truly love Nate anymore, and belittled him whenever she could. Chuck was used to people treating him like a disease because he often deserved it, but sometimes Blair could be downright cruel.
He shouldn't love her, but he did. He loved the way she pretended to be so tough when he knew she was fragile. Blair was like a child. She acted up when hurt, grew clingy when truly loved, and often times naïve, especially when it came to Nate. Chuck threw back his covers not surprised to find Ashley's panties waiting for him.
He got showered and then got dressed. Nate asked Chuck to tone down his 'flamboyant' style before people started getting ideas about them, but unlike Nate, Chuck didn't give a fuck what anyone thought. He was Chuck Bass, and he would do what he wanted, and wear what he wanted.
He completed his outfit with a bright yellow bow tie. Often Chuck found himself wondering what he was doing at Yale? He had never even planned on graduating high school, but since he did he decided to give college an honest try. Part of that reason was because Nate was coming to Yale. Nate was like his brother, although Nate was gullible at times, and often frustrated him Chuck still loved him.
Nate had his back when his father disappeared in the middle of the night during his childhood. Nate and his family welcomed him in, and if they didn't Chuck couldn't imagine where he would be now. His fondest memories of growing up with the Archibald's were Christmas in Maine. Christmas used to be his favorite holiday until he realized that his childhood memories while fond were dead. In a way he felt more like an Archibald than a Bass. A Baldass.
He had been tying the same knot for the last five minutes. It was done. Chuck breezed out into the den of the off campus apartment he shared with Nate. Nathaniel had pictures of him and Blair everywhere, so Chuck had to swallow the bile and avert his eyes whenever he walked into the room.
"How many classes have you been to since we got here?" Nate asked. He pulled a carton of Orange Juice from the fridge and took a swig. "OJ?" He asked Chuck.
"No my stomach's feeling a little unsettled," Chuck said to a picture of Nate and Blair in front of the Yale School of Law. "And the answer to you first question is three," Chuck said in a low tone. "Class is for freaks and geeks. Yale has so much more to offer than cold classrooms and even colder professors. Live your life Nathaniel."
"I am living my life Chuck, but I have an athletic scholarship to this school. I can't fuck this up."
Chuck looked down. Nate didn't have an athletic scholarship to the school. He was an excellent lacrosse player, one of the best St. Jude's ever had, but Yale's athletic scholarships were highly competitive. Nathaniel was broke due to dearest Papa Archibald, and with Nate's grades he had no other chance of getting into college.
Since Nate's dream was Blair's dream, Chuck had paid off the school to let him in. Yale didn't need his money because philanthropists were already shoving checks at the admissions office so the sum hadn't been an easy one to afford.
Chuck took a hit because of that. Yale let him in because he was a Bass, and unlike Captain Archibald, Bart Bass had made wise investments all his life.
"I'm going to need you to go to class," Nate said. "For one I can't pay this rent without you and for two there's no party without Chuck Bass." Nate drummed his hands on the counter, "Blair and Serena are hosting a Halloween party tonight. I'm RSVPing you."
"A Blair and Serena party." Chuck said dryly. He sat back in his chair, "Don't you ever get tired of parties with Barbie and Blair? The routine is the same; it's boring, dull, and repetitive. Blair gets in a fight because some girl wore the same thing as her; Serena gets drunk in five minutes and starts taking off her clothes, and then opps, sex with some guy that will never be boring Dan Humphrey."
Chuck was amused to be around slut Serena, only for a while, because then he would start to feel guilty for not doing something. It was stupid because Serena wasn't his problem, but she was Blair's. When the girl's weren't feuding they were tight like sisters. So he knew better than to hang around drunken Serena when Blair was around.
"So who was that girl that raced past me on the way here?" Nate asked with a teasing smirk, "See through shirt, big…" Nate placed his hands to his chest. "She was hot."
"Another uninteresting bore," Chuck stifled a yawn, "Let's grab dinner I am starved."
xxxxBlairxxxx
Driving anywhere with Serena always left Blair breathless. Serena didn't know what a stoplight was. She raced through them like a mad woman, was more interested in changing the radio than watching the road, and she almost hit some students on the crosswalk. Next time they were taking her car. Now they were waiting in one of the finest restaurants right outside the Yale campus.
Blair sized up the staff and the people dining there. Mostly the crowd was middle-aged women with frozen botoxed expressions, and their Wall Street husbands. All of the couples looked so wooden. Blair hoped that when she was 40, she would age gracefully like Audrey Hepburn, and have an explosive sex life.
What good was marriage if the sex got to be whatever after a certain age. Nate popped into her mind. Blair quickly chased him away. She would rather think masochistically about Chuck. His cologne, those stupid outfits he wore, and the way he kissed her. Chuck knew how to kiss. She placed her hand to her alabaster throat imagining Chuck's tongue sliding downwards.
"Blair,"
She snapped out of it.
Serena tilted her head to the side, "Our table is ready."
"Oh," Blair blinked and grinned, "Good because I was getting tired of waiting."
Their table was situated by a group of foggy windows overlooking New Haven. Night was pulling in now so the moon was rising beyond the ash colored sky. Blair placed her hand on the table as she peered out. Rows of trees covered with autumn leaves swayed in the chilly night.
"I am so excited for our party," Serena gushed.
"Me too," Blair said. She wasn't anymore. Blair looked over the menu. Everything looked appetizing to her. She promised herself that she wouldn't get too much because it would only make herself sick later.
"B, are you okay?" Serena asked gently. The chandelier from above cast flickers of golden light down onto Serena's straw colored hair.
"I'm fine S, I was just thinking about my D," Blair waved her hand. "I'll just talk to my professor tomorrow during office hours, and if that doesn't work I'll threaten to ruin her life." She smiled innocently. "Cheesecake sounds good. Want to share a slice?"
"Cheesecake sounds so tempting." Serena shook her shoulders giddily. "But I'm tempted let's share a slice."
"Blair, Serena," Nate greeted cheerfully. He hugged Serena and then gave Blair a kiss on the cheek. "Hey,"
Blair instinctively looked for Chuck. She found him standing in the shadows by the decorative trees. Blair almost smiled at him but she quickly looked away. "Why is he standing in the shadows like a nightmare?" she said arrogantly.
Nate loved over his shoulder at Chuck, "I don't know. Chuck get over here."
Serena suddenly felt uncomfortable. If she could she would excuse herself from the eternal Chuck, Blair, and Nate triangle. Obviously Nate was the odd man out. Serena wondered how he didn't get that? She watched as Chuck walked over to them.
"Ladies," He said reserved.
"Chuck," Both Blair and Serena said.
Nate wrapped his strong arms around Blair and rested his chin on her head.
Chuck looked away and Serena looked down.
Blair kicked Serena under the table.
"Um ow?" Serena said.
"Did you just kick her?" Nate asked.
Blair looked up at him, "We should tell them,"
"No, not yet."
Serena's eyebrows furrowed. Whatever it was she didn't want to know.
"I think I'm going to be sick," Chuck said. He placed his hand on Nate's back, "I'll be right back, and then we can go to our table."
Serena stood. "Excuse me too," she quickly left Blair and Nate and followed after Chuck. "Why have you been ignoring her?"
"Come again Paris Hilton?"
Serena crossed her arms, "Don't piss me off Chuck,"
Chuck narrowed his eyes at her, "She and Nate are in love," He snorted.
"You love Nate, and I love Blair so we have to do something."
"This isn't the parent trap van der Woodsen," Chuck adjusted his stand, "If Nate and Blair want to get together and have boring babies, a boring life, and boring deaths then let them do it."
"So you'll be around for all of that?" Serena tested.
Chuck couldn't answer that. Actually he could. He wouldn't. "Are you in love with Nathaniel again? Is that what this is about."
Serena's mouth dropped open. She raised her purse to hit Chuck.
"You have been keeping every man's bed on campus warm Serena so what am I to assume?" Chuck's lips turned up at the edges. "It's not my job to save Blair from herself, it's yours." Chuck opened the door to the Men's bathroom, "You're always welcome in for a quickie,"
"Uggh," Serena groaned storming away.
If Chuck ever did decide to break up Nate and Blair, he wouldn't want Serena's help. The decision would already come with guilt, which was why he would have to do it alone.
Blair and Nate were toxic for each other, and they weren't the good kind of toxic. They were flat, while he and Blair were combustible, they had chemistry that Nate and Blair just didn't have. Chuck knew Blair knew that, but she was just holding onto that white wedding.
xxxxChuckxxxx
The snow fell down coating Central Park in a blanket of white. Blair balled the snow up in her gloved hands and hurled it at her father. Harold burst into a fit of laughter and chased after his jubilant daughter. He picked her up in his arms and whirled her around.
He always told her that she could have the world and she believed it.
They played in the snow for a few more minutes and then Harold took Blair for hot chocolate. He rested his arms against the table as he watched her. "Did you have fun Blair?"
The younger girl nodded eagerly, "So much, can we do it again tomorrow?"
Harold nodded, "We can, and this time I think I'll convince your mom to come along."
Blair clapped her hands, "So we can be a family."
"And families play together in the snow."
"Uh huh," Blair said. "So what are we going to do \after this?"
"I was thinking that we could visit your mom at work, what do you think about that?"
"She's always busy at work though."
"But she's never too busy for you Blair."
"You're never too busy for me," Blair corrected.
xxxxBlairxxxx
"What did he say to you?" Blair grilled.
"Who?" Serena asked pretending to be none the wiser.
"Chuck the Bastard, what did he say to you."
"I don't know Blair, why don't you go ask him yourself."
Blair didn't like Serena's answer. Her lips grew thin as she looked down at the menu once again. "Suddenly I'm not feeling so hungry." Blair wished that Chuck had talked to Serena about her. That he said something. Something was better than nothing. She couldn't bare it if Chuck just didn't care anymore.
"Can you see yourself with Nate forever?" Serena asked out of the blue.
Blair clasped her hands together and smiled wistfully.
"Blair, that was a question." Serena watched her best friend closely. Blair took a second to convince herself of the lie and then she opened her mouth. Serena raised her hand, "If you really love Nate then you wouldn't use him."
"I'm not using him," Blair narrowed her eyes at Serena, "Do you want him again? Is that what this is about." She tilted her head to the side and flashed a vindictive smile.
Serena felt her heart drop because she wasn't expecting Blair to sink that low, "You two really do deserve each other."
"Serena, I didn't mean…"
Serena tucked her hair behind her ear; "Every time I show you a little concern you always turn it back on me. Marry Nate, ruin both your lives, and keep living your lies." Serena spat. "It's a wrap."
Fifteen minutes later Blair sat alone. She wasn't going to go running after Serena, because Serena was so sensitive. Obviously she was joking but if Serena couldn't see that then it wasn't her problem. So Blair sat alone, eating dinner, and feeling so small.
She felt like everyone was watching her and whispering.
Blair looked up and that's when she realized that no one was watching her. No one but Chuck. As soon as their eyes met, he looked away as if she wasn't important. That hurt, but she wouldn't show it. Blair looked down at her hands and then at her ring finger. She imagined that a ring from Chuck would burn a permanent mark onto her hand, but she wondered if that would be the worst thing?
Oh god. She wasn't seriously considering this. "Check please!" she yelled to the waiter passing by. She was going to be sick. Thinking about Nate, Serena, and Chuck. And Chuck. "I said Check!" she ordered to a guy who wasn't even her waiter.
xxxxChuckxxxx
Chuck took a sip of his wine as he watched Blair. She didn't have an army anymore, a group of eager to please girls telling her how beautiful she was. Chuck knew that Blair needed someone to give her attention because she was crying out; he could see it in her eyes.
Chuck sat down his glass as he took in Blair's tragedy. Queen B was falling and there was no Prince Charming to catch her. Because he sure as hell wasn't Prince Charming, more like Darth Vader, and Nate was blind to her struggles. He focused back on Nate with a slight anger that crept up to the back of his ears.
"I want you to be my best-man," Nate said.
Chuck casually pushed back his chair, "I'll be back Nathaniel," He had to excuse himself before he reached across the table and shook Nate firmly. This wasn't fucking Disney…but yet Blair and Nate seemed to think it was.
xxxxBlair&Chuckxxxx
AN: I wrote this a few days ago and I almost didn't post it, but I thought why not? If anyone likes this I may continue it, but otherwise I'll leave it as a one shot. So if you like it let me know:) and I'll keep writing.