"There are things tha'you don't know bout me, Rene. It ain't tha'no one knows, it just hurts too much to bring'em up," Lita sighed as they pulled into a public park parking lot.
"Forgive Lita, I didn't mean to pry…"
"No, it ain't tha. If anythin' it's nice to be able to let some o'dis come out. Holdin' it in ain't healthy for nobody. And you been a real friend, Rene, I wanna share dis wit you."
They took a seat under the poplar trees at a park bench. The muggy day seemed to glow a pale green from the foliage. It was beautiful, but it was easy to see that neither of the two women is relaxed.
Lita took a deep breath before beginning.
"It was over two years ago 'round Thanksgivin', 'bout a month aft' I broke up with Andrew. Andrew was one o' tha locals back then. I hear he's in Iowa now, makin' a livin' off the ethanol craze. We'd known each'ther since when we was kids n' when we brok'it off… it jus broke my heart. I'd time off from class so I'd helped Mom out at th'estate, thought'd keep my mind off things. Back then Elena had already been dead for a coupla years. They were still recoverin' but Master Brady still want'd make the best o'it…"
Flashback
Nineteen year old Lita Evans was bent over the cutting board dicing tomatoes while her mother Lauren was making fresh fruit pies beside her. The preparations for the big dinner took a lot more work than she anticipated. Although Lita was practically a gourmet chef after working with her mother for many years, her mother insisted on putting her through culinary school. The thought riled her. Lita wasn't one who liked to take orders from others without a good explanation, and most of time spent at culinary school was dealing with nonsensical etiquette and stupid rules.
Lita watched her mother stick the pies in the oven before putting the tomatoes here in own recipe of stewed calamari and lentil soup. A swish of the door behind them made her raise her head. A smile descended on her face.
"Darien! How've you been?" Lauren smiled warmly while giving him a warm hug. She worked many years at the Brady household, and she had watched Darien grow into a handsome young man.
"Bit overworked but still alive. You look as gorgeous as ever, Lauren," he said smiling.
"Oh hush. Ain't proper for such a young'un speakin' like tha to one as ol' as your mother," Lauren frowned when she realized the error in her words, "Pardon me, son. I didn't mean it."
Darien nodded it away and looked at the girl standing at the stove. "Lita, how's school?"
"Fine," Lita mumbled awkwardly. Although Darien had never been unkind to her, a sense of pride prevented her from becoming too friendly with him.
"It's smells good," he complimented at her concoction.
"Thanks. It'll be ready soon."
Darien nodded before giving them both another smile.
"I guess I'll catch you two at dinner, and there's a friend I'm going to need to feed if it's not too much trouble."
"My pleasure, Darien. You just make sure tha boy's got a healthy appetite," Lauren replied happily.
At dinner, the staff all sat at the table with George, Darien, and Nathan Phelite with a magnificent feast spread out before them. Everyone complimented Lauren and Lita, who blushed with pride, for the fruits of their labor.
"Everyone, time for the traditional toast," Josh the butler announced as eyes settled on George at the head of the table.
"My friends, I am so blessed to be gathered here tonight with such a wonderful crowd. We have worked hard this past year and profited from our labor. My son Darien and his friend, Nathan, have worked their way up into the management at Brady & Shields. No doubt the future will be even brighter for them. And then we have our very own Lita who will graduate from Lenior University and become a world famous chef. Now, now Lita, don't be shy. You have earned it. And the Sheltons welcomed a baby boy this past August. That will be a new experience for many here at the estate, and I am glad to say that I am proud to be a godfather to baby Tate. My friends, I will end with this. There comes a time in many men's lives when they wakes up with none of the youthful vigor they possessed seemingly since his birth, and he will lose all sense of purpose and direction. Thanks to you all, I was saved from that miserable end. Happy Thanksgiving!" Applause rang out in the large dining room.
'He's almost my papa,' Lita thought she watched George sit down.
"Well don't jus' set there! Y'all better eat all this food!" Lauren chided even as she wiped moisture from her eyes.
The dinner was a success, and it wasn't until much later that night until she remembered what had driven her back to the estate.
'Why did I do it? IT was my choice. No one forc'd me. Andrew didn't force me. It's my fault,' she thought as she sat weeping in the kitchen. Although the room always brought her comfort when she was younger, she sat miserably with tears running down her face.
'Even my favorite room don't like me any more… I'ma horrible person. God, if only I could forget. If only the pain will go'way.'
She had been too preoccupied to notice the deep laughter approaching the kitchen until it was too late. She spun away from them, facing the sink as they entered and pretended to wash her hands. Trying to force the sobs away, she even managed to carry on a light conversation with them until they left again.
It was not even five minutes later when the door opened again.
"Miss Lita," Nathan said gently in the kitchen.
Cursing him silently, she cleared her throat before replying, "Yes?"
"I was wondering if you could tell me why you let that bastard put his self-righteous control and guilt over you," he said evenly.
Turning in complete shock, she gasped at him. 'How did he know about…?' "E'cuse me, what di'you say?"
A look of complete surprise and concern took over his handsome countenance.
"I asked if you could tell me where the water glasses were," he said in a quiet voice.
"Oh!" Reddening with incredible speed, she rushed to a cupboard and promptly pulled out two glasses, "I'm sorry. I guess I ain't hear you right."
"Are you okay?" He stepped closer to her as he took the glasses from her shaking hand.
"I'm jus peachy. I was just… cutting up 'em onions, and those things pull quite a lil number on my sinuses," she gave a brilliant smile, hoping he'd fall for the southern belle routine she's perfected for times like these.
He seemed taken aback and bid her goodnight before exiting the kitchen quickly. Despite herself, she found herself sorry to see him go.
Over the weekend, Lita continued assisting her mother with cooking while secretly she mourned. Each time Nathan saw her, he was nothing but polite and charming. When Lita studied the way he watched her from over her shoulder, she knew that he didn't fall for her lame excuse that night. The man was obviously bright and possibly very nosy if his prying questions were any indication.
Lita was afraid that this stranger would be the catalyst that would cause her to tell everyone why her smiles were no longer genuine and her heart constantly hurting.
'I can't let 'im mention it t'others. How would I tell mama? I'll talk t'im t'night and convinc'im to forg'it.' Firming her resolve, she planned to find him alone and straighten things out.
Later that night after finishing the preparations for a new pan of coffeecake, she stopped by the bathroom to check her appearance. She brushed her auburn curls behind her ears and straightened the collar of her polo shirt. She hadn't worn makeup since the procedure.
'I don't deserve to be beautiful. Not when my own…' Shaking her head at herself, she exited hastily.
Darien and Nathan had gone out that night to the only bar in town. It was almost eleven, and hopefully they'd be back relatively soon. With butterflies fluttering restlessly in her stomach, she opened the door to Nathan's guestroom.
'Stop flippin' out! I'm only in'ere 'cause it's the only place I'll find'im to be alone. I'll jus wait for'im to come in and then tell him tha he can't tell anyone 'bout me cryin' in the kitchen,' she thought to herself as she sat down in a chaise.
The room was dark yet she was afraid to turn on the lights and catch someone's attention. 'How embarassin' would tha be? To be found in tha guests' room?' The bed was made and the air smelled faintly like Nathan's aftershave. The seconds sank into minutes and then hours. At first she just sat patiently on the chaise in the middle of the room, but fatigue and boredom eventually took over. She slowly drifted to sleep with Nathan's smell filling her senses.
Nathan and Darien supported each other as they tripped over the many stairs and steps.
"Man, I can't believe you turned that girl down!" Darien slurred as Nathan swayed precariously on the staircase.
"Shit! Why do you have so many stairs in this house?" Nathan cursed as he tripped over the carpet.
"Don't try to change the subject…" Darien's head bumped against the wall.
"Get your act together before you wake up the house," Nathan berated in a loud voice.
"Shh! Look who's talking." They finally reached their adjacent rooms before both stumbling in.
"You better not come in the bathroom when I'm pissin' in there," Darien joked.
"I'll try not to," Nathan retorted before retreating into his room. Not bothering to flip on the lights he began undressing and tossing his clothes unto the chaise adjacent to the dresser. "A shower can wait…" he muttered before suddenly remembering to take out his phone to charge.
His unsteady hand groped around in the dark for the discarded pants before finding a piece of warm cotton slacks. He picked it up and reached into the pocket to get his phone. Just before he threw down the pants again, the light reflected from his phone hit something on the chaise oddly. The blue illumination sparked something bright and shiny, and he squinted to get a better look.
It was a lock of silky hair peeking beneath his shirt!
"What the…?" He quietly removed the shirt and then the jacket, sobering immediately. His heart flew into his throat when he saw the body that was sprawled across the 19th century chaise.
"Oh my god," he whispered as he watched Lita's rhythmic breathing and the steady rising and falling of her chest.
'What is she doing in my room? Could she have been waiting for me? Why?'
His hand traveled to her back and rubbed gently, massaging the lean muscles and graceful curves beneath. The cotton of her sweater warmed his shaky hands as he sat down beside her. Her only response was a satisfied whimper. He told himself that the touch was only meant to wake her up, but the sight of her resting peacefully brought a tender smile to his lips.
'She was a heavy sleeper…' he smiled to himself forgetting the fact that the only thing he was wearing was a pair of boxers and socks.
She instinctively drew closer to his body for warmth, and he found himself brushing the hair from her tranquil face. He sobered even more when he thought back to her crying the kitchen. He hadn't mentioned it to her, but he first noticed the slight catch in her voice when he first went in with Darien.
His hand clutched against her hair. 'How many times had he caught his own mother weeping in the kitchen? How many nights had she suffered before she took her pain away? Why was he too stupid to save her then?'
He promised himself that he wouldn't make the same mistake. That he would help the girl curled around him.
"Lita!" He murmured repeatedly as he tried to wake her.
"Jus let me sleep," she whined sleepily as she tried to wrap an arm around the warm object.
That was when Nathan realized that his body was responding to the girl when her hand settled obnoxiously on his upper thigh. Quickly grabbing his pants, he tried to wake her again.
Lita awoke with a start. She missed the extremely pleasant touch on her back and then the sense of secure warmth, but she knew something was dreadfully wrong. She fell asleep as she waited for Nathan to return! Cursing herself, she looked shyly at him from under the curtain of hair that slipped out of her ponytail holder as she slept.
His reaction stunned her. He nearly sprang back two feet as she looked at him like she had shocked him with a jolt of electricity before pacing the room.
"Why di'you jus jump like that?" She demanded rather hurt.
"I was surprised that you're in here," he muttered to her. In truth, the girl had no idea what she had just looked like. With curls spilling over her eye and shoulders, the flesh in his pants jump painfully at the sight.
"I reckon you'd like t'know what I'm doing here," she replied curtly, her pride still smarting from before.
He chuckled at the impossibility of the situation before him.
"That would be a start," he replied easily as he leaned against the dresser, keeping distance between them.
"I jus want'd to ask you not t'talk 'bout what happen'd in the kitchen tha night. I was upset 'bout something n' I jus want'd a good cry," she answered calmly.
"Do you mind me asking what it was that made you so sad?" He replied gently. The alcohol was slowing draining from his mind, and it seemed that all that mattered was if he could save this vivacious young woman. He didn't know her very well, but from what he heard from George, who saw the girl as a daughter, she was brilliant and strong despite her southern mannerisms.
The fact that she reminded him of his failings with his suffering mother did nothing to diffuse his curiousity.
"Yes," she answered sharply before sighing.
"I'm sorry bein' so rude n' all, but I don't wanna talk bout it," she amended with a slight smile.
Nathan remembered the bright smile that she'd given him that night. 'This was her defense mechanism!' He had wondered why that bright smile had failed to reach her eyes the other night, but now that she was trying to pull another one over him, he could see behind her scheme. His mother used to straighten his hair or fuss with his clothes in order to hide her frustrations…
"You came tonight to convince me not to tell anyone else, right?" He asked evenly as his mind raced with thoughts.
"Yes," she replied with her eyes averted.
"I see. What will I get in exchange for keeping your secret?" He resumed his pacing. 'My goal is to find out why she was so sad. If I failed to protect mother before, I sure as hell won't fail this girl now! What can I do to make her trust me? Am I expecting too much from her? After all, we're barely acquaintances, and I'm due to return home in 2 days…'
"E'cuse me?" Her voice rose as her head whipped up to him. For the first time that night, she got a full look at him. His back was facing her as one strong hand attached to his hip. Andrew had been well-built due to all the heavy-duty farm work he's in charge of, but Nathan had a polished power rippling beneath his copper skin.
'He couldn't mean for me to…?' Her thoughts were interrupted.
"I'll keep your secret if you'll one day find me trustworthy enough to confide in." His voice was soft and surprisingly tender.
'Andrew yell'd at me fo'not bein' careful. He told me I was worthless now, that no one would ever love me…'
"Why do you care?" She whispered brokenly as she hugged her knees to her body. 'You're stupid. He doesn't care. He wants to get in your pants like tha rest o'em and leave ya sorry ass.'
"I will keep your secrets, Lita, and in return I will offer you friendship and trust. Please just don't let the pain pent-up inside! No one should've allowed him to hurt you; I shouldn't have allowed him to hurt you. I'm so sorry," his voice faded and the room was silent.
"But it was me who allowed'im to hurt me and my baby. It's all my fault," she whispered to herself.
Nathan's head shot up at the figure perched on the chaise. The moonlight spilled into the room, basking her in an ethereal silver glow.
"Your baby?" He asked softly.
Lita returned to the present and in a strangled cry realized her folly. Struggling to stand on shaking knees, she made the way to the door in a few steps before yanking the oak door open.
"Lita," Nathan called out as she closed the door behind her wild escape.
End Flashback
"I kill'd my own baby, Rene. I know tha it's common now despite the controversies and whatnot. But I ain't thought that I would…I should've kept't. Now I won't ever know if it was a girl or a boy…" Lita's voice lowered to a whisper as she let Rene hug her.
"Oh Lita, I'm so sorry. I didn't know that you had an abortion. It wasn't your fault. We all make decisions under pressure sometimes and regret them later. I'm sorry no one knew to help you," Rene comforted.
"No one knew until months after tha night…"
Flashback
Lita returned to school and then to an internship she was accepted to after break, and life returned to a semi-normal state. During the day she interned at one of the prominent eateries in the Chicago area. In the afternoons she often worked on her recipes and perfecting her techniques at a modest apartment she rented. Darien even came to visit her several times at the restaurant to wish her good luck. She didn't want to admit it then, but she knew George and Darien had put in a good word for the internship. As hopeless as she felt sometimes, she knew that she had people who loved her unconditionally and that alone kept her going.
Yet it was during the nights that she suffered. Under the guise of darkness, memories and nightmares plagued her sleep. She eventually saw a therapist for her depression, and she found that it was soothing to speak to someone about her life. Although she never revealed the real reason for her self-hate, it still helped some just to let her frustrations vent.
It was almost Valentines' Day when the chef and owner of Yearling's offered her a permanent position at the restaurant as an assistant chef once she graduated in May. Life was good albeit a bit dull. Lita decided to treat herself to something nice for the occasion and found a Macy's.
'Why not?' She shrugged as she entered and instantly regretted it.
The store was filled with decorations, store clerks, and shoppers catered to love and Valentines' Day. Lovers anywhere from their teens to their seventies strolled and shopped. Some were giving those "Wait until we get home so I can screw your brains out" look while others were calling their loved ones "poochie" and "cupcake."
'Me n' Andrew was like tha couple makin' out over there,' she mused silently as she made her way to the women's section. The winters in Chicago were exceedingly cold for a country girl like her, and it didn't take her long to learn how to bundle up for the cold.
"Excuse me, ma'am. I'm lookin' for some cas'mere gloves."
The salesclerk eyed Lita wearily.
"It is right over there, miss," she answered choppily before returning to folding her sweaters.
''Nother one o'those anti-southern accents people. You'd think the civil war was still on the way they act… I'm definitely not contributin' to her commission…'
She picked out a forest green pair and ambled her way to the adjacent men's department. Picking the first pay station that only had two customers ahead of her, she stood in line while retrieving her purse.
A familiar scent wafted to her nose, and she sniffed.
'It's a good smell. Soothin' n' clean,' she decided as she moved with the line.
The man ahead of her seemed to take forever, and when he finally moved out of the way, Lita hefted her purchase down and paid.
On the way out, she stopped to take one more look at the store and remembered the time that Andrew took her to Home Depot, and she had nearly fainted in excitement.
'Oh, how far I've come from then…'
A glass door slammed into her and vaulted her to the floor before she could even cry out in shock.
"Ah geez, I'm so sorry! I wasn't looking where I was going, and I just… Lita, is that you?" A puzzled voice chased the stairs from her eyes.
She opened her eyes and a pair of stone grey ones stare back at her.
"Nathan! I mean, Mr. Phelite!" She stood up with his help, and that intoxicating smell drifted into her nose again. 'It was'im tha I smelled earlier! Oh I'm sucha knuckl'ead!'
"No, it was my fault rushing back in here. I was here getting one of my friends a gift, and they forgot to take the security tag off. I was on my way back when I so rudely ran into you," he explained and then with a slightly breathless voice, he asked, "How have you been Lita?"
"I been all right. I'm on internship at a restaurant n' I was promoted today so…"
"So are you busy tonight? Maybe go grab a bite to eat somewhere?" Nathan held his breath and braced himself for rejection. Although he hadn't spoken to her since the night she fled his room, he had thought about her predicament often. It didn't take much speculation to guess what might have made her so sad. No one ever mentioned Lita having a child, and it was pretty obvious the way she carried the guilt with her. For his own mother, the guilt was to her husband. She blamed herself for not being enough for her promiscuous husband. Nathan learned much from that relationship and promised himself that once he found the one he loved enough to marry that he'd never cheat on her either in body or in spirit. This resolve only hardened when EMS wheeled his mother's body out the front door. She had drained her body of her blood with a few simple cuts, but Nathan knew that her body and soul had already been emptied by his father's infidelities.
"I…uh…" She stuttered as she contemplated her options. 'Practice braising beef or go out with hot, caring, rich guy who knows my secret…'
"Although I would really enjoy your company, I don't want you to feel obligated. I know things were awkward between us after that night…" He waited patiently for her to sort her thoughts, and he was rewarded with one of those genuine smiles that radiated from her large hazel eyes.
"Actually, I'd be happy to t'night. I've wanted to get out n' see the city fo'too long now."
"Wonderful. May I have your number or your address? I'd be happy to pick you up at 7 tonight." An internal breath of relief later, he held her number in his blackberry and walked towards the men's department with a lighter spring in his steps.
They went to an authentic Latin restaurant where he entertained her with jokes and made her blush with sincere compliments. Later they even tried a few moves out on the dance floor, but dancing were neither of their fortes.
At the end of the night, he escorted her back to her place like a perfect gentlemen and asked to see her again sometime.
And so a passionate and caring relationship blossomed under their very noses. Everything had happened so fast. It started with dinner and then day trips and eventually a weekend retreat at a ski resort. When Lita looked back on the progression of the relationship, it was unbelievable. Somehow they had entwined their lives so inexplicably that it seemed they had never been apart. It was their one month anniversary that Lita invited him into her bedroom, a place she had held private since her horrid relationship with Andrew.
"Lita, I want to wait," Nathan said even she pulled his shirt over his head.
"I can't. I've waited for t'night for too long. Don't make me wait anymore…" She silenced him with a kiss.
For weeks after, she still smiled at the thought of him making love to her that first night. He had been tortuously slow as he constantly checked to make sure of her comfort. And when she had nearly died of anticipation, he had guided her to something she wasn't sure she'd be able to experience again. When he held her to him for the night and so many nights after, she would sleep restfully. She loved him, and five months after she first went out with him, she told him about her failed relationship with Andrew and her abortion procedure and that somewhere along the way she realized that she loved him.
For Nathan, the admission had been an echo to what had been in his head for quite a while. When he watched her smile at spring returning to the city or when he heard her light giggles as he tickled her… it was the only feeling that made sense. He found himself comparing every woman he met or knew to Lita and finding them all lacking. Not only that, he couldn't see himself ever being able to leave her. His fear that she would one day leave him to a miserable and lonely destiny was quieted by her admission of love. He wanted to shout out his joy. How wonderful it was to find the one person that complemented the person he's spent the last quarter decade creating and finding that she felt the same way too!
"Lita, I love you! What we have is an all-consuming love that doesn't require dependence on each other. I love all of you even the suffering you put yourself through to spare others pain. You build me up, and we make each other to be the best we can be. I know it's sudden, but that night when you watched me with that look in your eyes, I knew. Do you remember that? When I nearly jumped out of my skin? I love you, Lita Evans, and I want you to marry me."
She accepted the proposal with a breathless moan as she rushed into his arms. Just like that, they were engaged to marriage, a ceremony neither grew up understanding. Yet they were suddenly determined to succeed because it all seemed worth it as long as they were together. It was odd to Lita that her life could change so quickly and seem just like she had been in love with Nathan for her whole life.
When they announced the news to Lauren, George, and Darien, Lita also told them what she had hidden from them for so long. They shared tears and pain, but somehow they both came out better because of it. As for the impeding wedding, her mother was beyond ecstatic for them, but Lita's soon-to-be in-laws were still out of the loop. Nathan began to skirt around the issue when the subject came up, and they were soon having arguments over it.
"I ain't never met your parents, Nathan," Lita said one day as they cleaned up after dinner. "Think they'd like me?"
"My mother's dead, Lita. She would've loved you." Nathan's voice was strained and Lita looked at him puzzled.
"I'm sorry. I wish she could b'ere." In all the time they had gotten to know each other, they had never talked about Nathan's parents. Lita hadn't ever realized that fact until now.
"I know, but it's all right because you're here with me."
"N' your dad, Nate? Will he approve o'me?"
"Lita, I'll take care of him. It'll take some time for him to get used to the idea…"
"Get us'd t'me bein' married t'you? Nate, why can't you jus tell him? He'll have t'know sometime, preferably before the wedding!"
"Sweetheart, my dad's been pushing me for years to get married to one of the those socialites whose fathers play golf with my dad. I just want to tell them the good news when the right time comes."
"So he wouldn't think I'm good 'nough fo'you?"
When he said nothing, the reality of it hit her. She was a southern girl whose aspirations in life consisted of starting her own restaurant. She was the child of a single mother with no inheritance or trust fund. She was barely twenty and trying to marry a man who was well-established in the upper-class society.
The self-doubts began to resurface. For a woman who was beautiful, happy, and care-free, she found it ironic that she could feel so vulnerable around Nathan.
She didn't have a future…Nathan had one but not with her. She had fallen in love with someone she'd never be able to have. Somewhere between the sheets and the laughter, she'd forgotten who she was and where she belonged…and where he belonged.
The call from his father while Nathan was at work a few months from their intended wedding date sealed her resolve.
"Listen here, Miss Evans. I've spoken to my son, and he's already starting to come to see this from my perspective. Nathan has big plans in life, and if you truly love him, you will understand that he needs to be free. I'm not telling you stop the engagement. I'm merely suggesting that you give him some space. He's under lots of stress, and from what I hear on the grapevine, you've been under plenty of stress as well. He needs someone who's mentally and financially stable, and although I'm sure you'll be a great wife to the man of your choice, I just want you to make sure you and Nathan are a good fit for each other. Please just take an old man's last wishes when you make your decision. That is all I will ever ask of you."
She had answered in a barely audible voice before hanging up, "I love your son, n' I know what I've got t'do."
Across the line, Calvert Phelite smiled. The country bumpkin's voice told him all he needed to know. She was defeated just like he pathetic excuse of a wife did many years before her, and just like any other woman who would ever come in his way. This was a man's world after all, and someone has to remind those bitches that they weren't good for anything else than a good screw and cheap labor. Now why his only son couldn't understand that simple concept was a mystery to Calvert. But women, women who thought they could be something in life, Calvert understood perfectly.
She gave her two weeks notice the very next day. She knew she couldn't stay in the city after leaving him just because there were simply too many memories and too much of a temptation to beg him to take her back later. Besides, the city showed her something that years of schooling would've never shown her. The real world was tough and getting tougher. She was strong, but she wasn't raised to compete with these bloodthirsty bastards. She was just too good-natured. After a few days of calling Lauren and George and explaining briefly that she wasn't ready for marriage and that she just wanted to return home, she began to make her final plans. Packing most of her stuff into a suitcase that she hid in the hall closet, she waited for Nathan to return home.
That night she welcomed him with a gourmet dinner she meticulously planned and cooked. She took the opportunity to memorize every single detail of his face and of his movements. Nathan wasn't completely oblivious to the peculiar way Lita was acting, but he didn't press when she brushed his questions off.
After indulging in a rich chocolate soufflé together, she had pulled him to the bedroom wordlessly. As clothes were discarded, she pushed him unto their bed and straddled him and pulled him under a wave of passion. The last time was all under her control. Nathan didn't complain or try to regain the upper hand after sensing that she was fighting something even as she made love to him wild and wanton. As his head rested on her stomach and her fingers ran through his hair, she thought that now she could finally leave. What Nathan evoked in her…she never expected to find it again, and with this final memory of her overcoming her fears with this wonderful man supporting her, she was ready to give him up and to save him.
In the early hours of the morning, she had a hell of a time disentangling herself from his close embrace. After retrieving the briefcase of her belongings from the hall closet, she returned to her sleeping soon-to-be ex-fiancé and cupped his shadowed cheek lovingly. Giving him one last kiss, she left the city where she loved and have lost.
End Flashback
"Lita, I'm so sorry," Rene said as she continued hugging her openly sobbing friend.
"Don't be, Rene. It wasn't ever yer fault. It was my own stupidity. I loved someone against all th'rules, n' I sure paid fo'it."
Rene sighed nervously.
"Against all the rules…" she repeated. 'This heartbreak is exactly where I'm headed yet I can't get myself to stop wanting to see him, to be with him. It's completely wrong but there's some just something that's pulling me towards Darien. The few moments I've spent with him were mostly teasing but I've been able to steal peeks at who he really was…'
"What I just can't get outta my head is jus tha he never came aft'me. I had always hoped n' pray'd tha one day he'd be here n' tell me it didn't matter what his dad wanted n' tha he's never stopp'd lovin' me. I had unrealistic expectations, I reckon," Lita sighed. She opted to leave out the part of the story when after returning back to the estate and taking over for her mother, she would often look out the window or search the papers for him. There were tabloids about him dating some new hot model or successful businesswoman, and Lita's heart broke each time. After George and Darien's fall-out, she gave up all hope of him ever coming back for her. It would be easy enough for him, but apparently he just didn't care anymore.
"Do you still love him?" Rene asked gently when she saw the hurt expression on Lita's face.
"God help me, but I never stopp'd."
"Against all the rules," Rene said again as a water snake slid into the stream beside them.