Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. But you guys all thought i did didn't you. haha, i fooled you.
Fourth chapter! Sorry it took me a little while to update. i had to read great expectations for school. :(. anyways, here it is. hope you enjoy!
The darkness fell quickly that night, bringing with it beautiful stars and a bright, full moon. It was peaceful, like the world was sleeping. And it was so wrong. It didn't go with how they were all feeling, what they had seen.
Inuyasha hadn't moved from where he was sitting, Kagome in his arms, his head bent over her, tears falling onto her cold, pale cheeks, his hand still wrapped in her icy grasp. Cheeks that would never flush pink again, hands that would never bind his wounds, or cling tightly to his shoulders as he ran. He wouldn't move. Not even when his legs started to tingle and burn and his neck ached from bending over to long. He wouldn't move ever. Maybe, some stroke of luck would hit, and in his not moving, a snowstorm would hit and he would freeze to death, or lightning would miraculously hit right where he was sitting.
Never before had he felt so hopeless, so absolutely disgusting and horrible. It was his fault. It was his fault she was dead. Kagome's death was going to haunt him forever. It already was. It kept popping back up in his face, kept laughing at him like the monster he was. He hated himself. Hated himself more then he hated the demons he fought, or Naruku himself. Nothing could compare to the self-loathing he felt. And the sorrow. The despair, the never ending, soul crushing anguish he felt was enough to make him struggle to breathe. It was like a weight was resting on his chest, a weight that no matter what he did, would never come off.
Every time he looked down at her sallow face, hair ragged, dark circles under her eyes, and a trail of tears down her cheeks, he was hit again with a tsunami of emotions, hate and misery being the most potent. Why was he so stupid? Why couldn't he have just seen what was right in front of his eyes? And now it was too late. It always happened like this for him. He never appreciated anything until it was gone.
He promised to himself that if she could just come back, he would never run off to Kikyo again. He would value her more than he valued anything else. He would take the time to talk to her, show her how much he cared. But of course, her eyes didn't suddenly flutter open and he heart beat didn't unexpectedly start beating. She remained cold and hard in his arms. The universe most certainly hated him.
Sango stayed huddled near Kagome and Inuyasha, refusing to leave, even when Miroku had told her she needed sleep, that he and Inuyasha would stay. Her eyes were bloodshot and tears still leaked silently from the corners of them. But she wasn't sobbing. She was sitting, emotionless, her eyes never leaving Kagome's face.
Miroku moved closer to her, wrapping the blanket he had retrieved from the rest spot tighter around her shoulders, then pulling her into his lap. She didn't resist, and rested her head on his shoulder. But her eyes never moved, and her face remained impassive.
Miroku had cried in private. He had tried to hide it, sneaking off into the woods for a few moments, saying he had something to do. But when he came back, his eyes had been red and swollen. He wore the same expressionless mask as Sango.
Inuyasha heard a snap, from in the trees, and he was forced to raise his head to look around. His neck groaned in protest. From the trees he saw a flash of red and white.
Kikyo.
He had forgotten about her.
Had she stayed there, expecting him to run back and cuddle her like a baby, apologizing for running off? Or had she gone away, refusing to even feel a hint of an emotion for anyone?
She emerged from the trees and walked towards him, her soul collectors hovering over her head. She no longer looked scared. Instead her features were tightened into the cool face she always wore.
She didn't say anything to anyone. Instead she hovered at the edge of the clearing, her eyes trained on Kagome.
Inuyasha didn't like the way she stared at her, almost as if waiting for something to happen. Suddenly, her eyes lit up and a small smile graced her features. It was a cruel smile, much like the one a little kid makes when he gets away with something he shouldn't have done. Inuyasha looked down, to make sure Kagome was still in his arms and hadn't wasted away.
That's when he noticed that her body was glowing white, lighting up the entire clearing.
Her chest was moving and her hands clenched convulsively.
Was she coming back from the dead? Was he being given another chance? He watched, entranced, as her torso lifted slightly off the ground, the hole in her chest disappearing. She was coming back. She was actually coming back!
Then balls of light burst from her chest, white, with pink dancing in the center, and hovered in the sky. Kikyo's soul collectors suddenly raced forward, picking up the glimmering balls of light in their feet. It was Kagome's soul. She wasn't coming back. She was just passing on for good.
Inuyasha felt the weight that had lifted slightly of his chest come crashing back down, extra weight added now. She was really dead. She was actually dead. He wouldn't ever see her smile again, never watch as her face distorted in anger at him as she yelled, 'sit'.
As Kagome's soul left her body, the beads on the prayer necklace around his neck slowly melted away, until none of the purple beads were left.
Tears started falling down his cheeks again. He hated crying. It was weak. But he couldn't stop, not when he knew that she was dying permanently, to never come back. There was no hope left at all now.
Sango was crying again too, and Miroku kept looking up at the sky, trying to keep his own tears in.
The last piece of her soul left her body and she collapsed back down, the white light leaving and the hole in her chest reappearing. Inuyasha held her tighter to his body. She was so cold and stiff it made his tears fall even harder.
Sango suddenly cried out and leaped out of Miroku's lap.
"Stop!" she screamed loudly. "Stop! That's Kagome's soul! It doesn't belong to you!" he voice was raising in pitch, becoming more and more hysterical. "Stop! Stop dammit, that's not yours."
Inuyasha looked to where Sango was screaming and saw why. Kikyo's soul collectors where flying towards her, Kagome's soul held tightly in their feet. They were going to give her soul to Kikyo.
He felt rage flow through his body for some unknown reason. Why was he upset about Kikyo having her soul? If she got Kagome's soul, she wouldn't need her soul collectors anymore. She would be back for good.
But that didn't seem like the heaven it had been before. Know it only served to anger him. No wonder she had come back. It was to take Kagome's soul.
He gently laid her on the ground and leaped up, cracking his knuckles.
Kikyo looked at him in surprise. "Inuyasha, what are you doing?" she asked.
He looked back at Kagome's tiny body, looking even paler and lifeless then before. It filled him with even more anger, and he jumped into the air, slashing down at the first dragon-like creature he saw.
His hand went right through it. 'Damn!' he thought. Then he noticed one glowing orb float up into the sky, slowly rising higher and higher. He looked down at the demon he had slashed through and saw that it's body was shimmering, and it had become see-through.
So he couldn't kill them. But he could at least make sure they couldn't hold onto the souls. He sliced through another demon, watching as the glowing orb escaped from it's tiny feet and the soul-collectors body flickered back and forth, from being whole, to looking like smoke.
He did it again and again, until every tiny globe of Kagome's soul was floating into the sky.
"What are you doing Inuyasha?" Kikyo asked. She was trying to keep her voice calm, but it shook slightly out of anger.
"It's Kagome's soul." he answered hoarsely, his voice sore non-use.
She scoffed. "Ha, it's my soul. Don't you know? She is merely a reincarnation. That soul belongs to me."
"It did belong to you. But it's hers now. You shouldn't be here in the first place." he answered, remembering what Kagome had told him on a regular basis. That Kikyo didn't belong her, just like she didn't. Kikyo should be dead.
"Your supposed to be dead." he whispered. "Your not supposed to be splitting Kagome's soul."
Kikyo's face twisted slightly, anger apparent on her features. "Yes, but I am here and that soul was originally mine. I should be free to take it if I want it."
She looked at him with a condemning glint in her eyes, and her face twisted into a smug look.
"I won't let you have it." he looked up from the ground to stare into her eyes. Eyes that were so empty. She looked just like Kagome, with pale skin and lifeless eyes. Why hadn't he noticed before just how……dead she looked?
"Why Inuyasha? What do you think is going to happen? What is her soul going to do? Wander forever? Why not give it to me, so I can live again. We can be together, like you wanted."
Inuyasha flinched. She was right. He had wanted that. But not anymore. He wanted Kagome to be alive. That was all that mattered. And imagining Kikyo with Kagome's soul keeping her alive sickened him.
"She can go somewhere happier now. She won't be stuck here, inside of you. She can be happy."
Kikyo sneered. "I thought you didn't believe in the afterlife Inuyasha. You always used to say that if you died, it's because you were to stupid to live. Don't you remember?"
He did. He closed his eyes and sighed. "I used to. But then I met Kagome. And she makes me think that maybe there is something after this life. We can't live forever. We have to die. And maybe, if we're lucky, we can go somewhere happier."
Kikyo shook her head slowly and looked at him with rage. "You're an idiot Inuyasha. There is no afterlife. I know. I was dead. And her soul is going to wander forever because of you. She'll never have happiness. And now, neither will I." she snarled.
"I can't fell sorry for you." he answered, and turned around and walked back to where Kagome was laying and pulled her back into his lap.
Kikyo glared at him, before slowly turning, her soul collectors falling behind, like balls of smoke.
Inuyasha looked up at the sky, where the tiny balls of light where almost gone, disappearing into the dark.
"Her soul is going to wonder forever because of you. She'll never have happiness."
Inuyasha watched as the glowing spheres disappeared.
'Please find happiness Kagome. You deserve it.'