(disclaimer- i don't own twilight.)

yay, another chapter. credit goes to megan for thinking of the plot between jake and embry.
i hope that you all like this chapter, i had a ton of fun writing it. i love all of the boys in this one.
PLEASE read and review!

Chapter 4

Jacob walked sullenly to his garage, a warm soda in his hands. He was upset that Man-Bella had not been responding well to him. Even as a man, shouldn't Bella still be attracted to him?

Jacob pulled a mirror from his pants pocket and peered into it. I'm still hot, he thought to himself, scowling.

He found Embry waiting inside the makeshift garage, sitting on a little red plastic crate, sniffing at a can of gasoline. From the way that Embry continued to stare at the metal container, swaying a little, Jake could tell that he hadn't heard him come in.

Jake kept his distance, standing just inside the door with his back against the wall. Absurd images were running through his mind, causing his face to twist strangely, but even he had to admit that the idea was a good one. After all, how could Jacob possibly be with Man-Bella unless he had some kind of experience being with a man?

Embry glanced up from his love-fest with the tin can, and gasped at a silent Jacob in the corner.

"Whoa, man. You scared me! What're you doing standing over there like a creep?"

"What're you doing with that can?" Jacob retorted dazedly. His eyes were still glued to the crazy—but potentially useful—image in his head.

Embry squirmed beneath the weight of the question, placing the can on the ground. "N-nothing." He snorted like it was a dumb question and ran his hand through his hair. Jacob found himself watching that hand with subtle, ambivalent interest, and his stomach twisted a bit to the side. He shuddered.

"Embry? Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what?"

Jacob pursed his lips, wondering how they'd feel if… "As my best friend, what would you be willing to do to help me out?"

Embry's brow puckered, both ends meeting at the center of his forehead. "Er, I don't know…what do you mean? Like, would I take a bullet or something?"

Jacob shook his head quickly, stepping over to where his friend sat in the middle of the room. "No, no. I'm talking more like…" Pausing, he glanced at his friend's eyes for the first time, and felt a prick of excitement coat his next words. "Can I try something?"

Embry raised a brow, but didn't get a chance to answer. Jacob was already leaning into him, his eyes closed and lips outstretched. It took Embry a minute to recover, but when Jake's lips were less than half an inch away from his, he woke up.

"What the hell, man!" He flung himself to the side, out of Jacob's way, and watched as Jacob fell forward onto the crate he'd been sitting on.

Jacob pouted, sitting up again, and threw Embry a hopeless look. "Embry, it's okay. You don't need to be afraid or embarrassed… I just want to see if I can do this."

"With me?!" Embry shook his head back and forth, back and forth, trying to soothe his horror. "That's messed up, Jacob! And you know it, too!"

"No, Embry, don't be like that!" Jake stood from the crate, reaching out toward his friend with shaking hands. He could feel the desperation lingering on his face, and he couldn't explain the feeling of rejection that was crawling beneath his skin. "Please, just let me…"

"Dude! Knock it off!" Embry pushed at him and ran backwards, knocking over a can of paint. Frantically, he glanced back at it, noticing that it had splattered his pants with white. "Did you smoke your freaking breakfast, or what?!"

Jacob was staring at Embry's pants with an odd expression. "Maybe I should get you some new pants," he suggested.

"Oh no, you don't!" Embry shouted, voice hysteric. "You're not going anywhere near my pants!"

"Embry, be reasonable. You know that I don't…feel that way about you. I just want to see if I'll be able to do it when Bella…Man-Bella…chooses me."

"I will not be your practice dummy!" Embry shuddered. "You're sick, Jacob. Truly sick."

A snort sounded from the doorway, and both wolves glanced over to see a very amused Edward leaning casually against the frame. "Oh, I disagree. I think you're doing a very fine job of being his practice dummy, Embry. You're giving him just what he'd get from Bella—rejection."

"Oooh! Take that, pooch!" No one had noticed Emmett until he sprung through the door, pointing both pointer-fingers at Jacob's reddening face. "Ha," he chortled, punching Edward's shoulder playfully. "What a loser that guy is."

Edward grinned.

"Pl-bu-ju-you…" Jacob stuttered, unable to find his words.

Embry slowly slid his way along the wall, not at all tensed by the shortening distance between him and the vampires. He would gladly marry one before he let Jacob kiss him—well, he'd marry the blonde one, anyway. She was hot.

To give himself more time to come up with something to say to the leeches, Jacob let his attention drift back to his friend. "Embry, don't leave yet. We need to talk."

"Talk," Edward choked out, snickering. "That doesn't look like talking to me," he laughed, peering into Jacob's mind. "But it does involve mouths, nonetheless."

Jacob threw the plastic crate at Edward's smirking face. It hit the pale vampire's stomach before shattering into pieces. Edward continued to look amused.

"You know what," Jacob spit out, glaring with reddening vision. "You—you're…I'm not the only one thinking of kissing a guy!" he shouted.

Edward's face fell for a moment, flipping through several different emotions before it settled on anger. Then, turning swiftly on his heels, he began to walk away.

"Yeah, that's right! Go suck some more blood, you stupid leech! I hope it's anemic!" Jacob called after him, smug that he had won the battle.

Edward paused to look back at him, raising a brow, and said, "Hey, keep this in mind, mongrel. We may drink blood, but at least we don't eat our own poop."

"Oooh yeah! Nice one, Ed!" Emmett slapped his brother five. "Take that, dog! Go suck on some fecal matter! I hope it's runny!"

And with that, the vampires ran away, laughing, leaving Jacob fuming behind them.

Embry was no where to be found.

Back at the Cullen's house, Edward and Emmett saw that everyone had gone hunting without them. Emmett sighed, tracing his fingers sourly over the fabric of one of Rosalie's jackets.

"I hate it when she goes without me," he mumbled to himself. "She's so hot when she's hunting."

Edward vaguely noticed the pictures running through Emmett's mind—Rosalie, running with torn clothes headlong at a Grizzly Bear—but this time, his attention was focused more on his own thoughts. He couldn't help but be a little affected by what Jacob had said. And maybe Jacob's thoughts had been right. Maybe…

Emmett looked over at Edward's dazed face, seeing the pensive look in his eyes, and immediately put his defenses up. "Don't you even think about pulling that shit with me, Edward. I would kick your ass if you tried to kiss me, you hear me?"

Edward snapped out of his trance, snorting and raising his eyebrows, throwing his hands into the air. "Pfft," he snorted nervously, glancing around the room, avoiding eye contact. "Don't be foolish, Emmett," he chuckled, his voice inching up a couple of octaves. "Of course I'd never…" he let his words fall away suggestively, hoping he'd been convincing, but Emmett's thoughts showed him that he hadn't been fooled.

Sighing aggravatedly, Edward scowled, and turned for the door. "Dammit," he muttered. "I just wanted to see if I could do it."