SingMyLullabySweet666: Well, here I am updating again... Sorry it's taken so long. sigh I need to do this more often don't I? Don't answer that!
Hiei: I advise you to hurry and finish this chapter and quickly!
SingMyLullabySweet666: Are you threatening me?
Hiei: Maybe.
SingMyLullabySweet666: Fine! Maybe I will! On with the story!
Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Yu Yu Hakusho but I do own Ms. Saiyuki and the baby even though I do not know his or her name.
Warning(s) in this chapter: Excessive language, cutting, lemon, angst
Hints:
Bold and Italic- Song
Italic- Thoughts
Song: Elastic
Artist: Outspoken
Elastic
(Hiei's POV)
I stood alone, pulled a dime from my pocket and wished
Making sure it hit the bottom of the well
But fruition never came
So I am taking back my wishes, I could be wrong
But this is another reason for an angry farewell
But I'm anxious for a change now
I lie in this bed that feels so cold even though there are thick comforters covering my naked body and Kurama holding me tight. I feel so cold lately. It's funny if you think about it. A demon, fire demon at that, is cold. Makes you laugh, ne? Yet, I can't help but feel as if this is all a dream and when I wake up, I'll be once more battered and broken with no say what so ever in our marriage. If this was fake, then I wish to never wake again for it seems so right to be here. In some form of fashion I can't help be angry and hateful at my mate but at the same time love him more than life itself. I don't know how to act around him anymore. I know he has changed and that he says that he only wants forgiveness but I refuse to let down my guard around him again. I so confused. Damn it!
Why? Damn it all the hell! Why can't I forget about my affection for the person next to me? He cause me so much pain, physically and emotionally. Mentally I had already lost it from the time he first laid a hand on me. I don't know why I hold tightly onto this extremely thin line of hope for there is none. Any day now the line will buckle under the hatred and disappear as it once had already. So why do it? Why set myself up for another heart brake? Fuck this isn't easy for me and I'm putting so much stress on myself that will cause harm to my child. I wonder sometimes if I ever had any say in my life from the time I was born till now. It seems to me that every time I turned around there was someone waiting to bark orders at me life I was some kind of dog; some kind of slave. I wonder is anyone realized what they were saying or if they just ignored me like half of the people in my life have. Confusing sometimes, ne?
Sighing, I rolled over at stared at my lover's face. It looked peaceful and at the same time tormented by nightmares and past actions. I wouldn't know why Kurama was the one to have the nightmares for he was the one not abused. I glare in frustration before unwrapping him from my side and climbing out of bed. I really could care less if the bastard woke up. I sighed again for no reason before standing up and walking over to the dresser. I pulled out a pair of sweat pants and a long sleeved t-shirt. I got dressed and walked over to put on my shoes and socks. I was thankful that I was not far along in my pregnancy and could still bend down to tie my own shoes. I grabbed my pair of house keys on the night stand next to my side of the bed before walking out of the bedroom and down the hall. I went down the stairs before stopping in my tracks to look back at the room for a moment. I don't know why I did it but I just did. Walking out the front door, I took in thewintery night. It wasn't bad, I actually welcomed the night with a huge embrace.
I walked for awhile to a meaningless nowhere and somehow ended up near my sister's house. She lived there with that damn baka she wanted to be wed to. I hated the thought of it but who was I to stand in my sister's way of true love. The lights in the living room were on for some strange reason when I finally reached their house. I rang the doorbell and heard a shuffle of feat before the door opened to reveal my sister's ugly lover. He looked confused until I shoved past him and into the house.
"What are you doing here, shrimp?" came the oaf's disgusting voice that I have grown to hate in my life. I glared up at him before growling dangerously low. I then proceeded into the living room to find my sister watching some sappy love movie that I also have grown to hate while spending time here in the human world. I smiled at her as she stood to give me a warm hug before pulling away with a look of concern on her face.
"Brother, why are you here so late at night?" she questioned in her child-like voice. I sat down on the couch and sighed.
"I don't know. I left the house to take a walk and this is where I ended up coming. Strange, ne?" was my answer as I looked over at the oaf who had taken his seat on the floor again to continue the game he was playing on one of the machines again. I never was able to get the hang of them.
"So, how is everything going? I hope you two have gotten into a fight again." she questioned in concern once more. I shook my head to indicate that we did not fight.
"We came upon an agreement. Kurama and I are to stay together until the child is born and afterward we go off on our own. I do want to repair the relationship between us but I'm not sure how. I... I still love him, Yukina." I stated and Yukina gave me a small smile. Kuwabara was ignorant and apparently had heard none of our conversation so far; his mind too warped by that machine.
Yukina and I talked for a while until I dozed off. She offered her guestroom to me which I gladly excepted. As she gave me a hug and kiss goodnight, I began my decent down the hallway and to the guestroom, which was the third door to the left. I pulled back the soft blue comforters and climb into the oversize bed. I once more began to think of all that has happened and how my future will be affected if Kurama and I remarry. I doubt that we will but that was a possibility which kind of scared me a little. I allowed my mind to wonder as darkness seems around me, cutting off everything. I finally fell asleep around 2 in the morning.
It seems no matter what you do
It seems no matter what you say
It seems however far away
I still keep running back to you
I awoke to the sun shining brightly through the large, glass window at the end of the bed. I groaned and lifted the covers overtop my head trying to fall back asleep. I hate the sun at the moment as I had no choice but to get out of bed and up for the morning. I sighed and walked down the hallway to the kitchen. I inhaled the deep aroma of bacon, eggs, waffles, and hash browns cooking on the stove. Yukina looked up and smiled at me before going back to scrambling the eggs. I liked it that way, I hated the taste of the other kind... Sunny side up I think it was.
"So, shrimp finally decided to grace us with his presence." came the oaf's annoying voice. I looked over to where he was pouring himself a cup of coffee. I never like that stuff too, taste like chalk to me.
"Shut the hell up you ugly piece of shit." was my reply which pissed the oaf of royally and caused my sister to glare at me. I rolled my eyes before taking a seat at the kitchen table. The oaf growled out.
"Why don't you come over here and say that to me face, shrimp?" questioned the oaf, not wanting to back down first. I smirked at the challenge he offered me.
"I wouldn't want to catch the ugly disease." I replied causing Yukina to sigh in aggravation and the oaf to stand up quickly, almost knocking it over.
"Yer askin' for it ain't you, shrimp? Come on, let's see what a midget like you can do!" hissed the oaf in frustration and anger. I smirked.
"I may be short but your ugly, at least I can grow." I answered and all the oaf could do was sputter out non-coherent words and sentences in anger. Yukina walked over and place two plates on the table. One for me and one for the oaf. She then walked back over and made herself a plate before taking a seat between us.
"No more insults to each other at this table. You are to eat you breakfast only, no talking." Yukina said in a motherly voice that had an edge of warning in it. I nodded and began to stuff my face with Yukina's tasty food. The breakfast was finished in silence and after I helped Yukina with the dishes, I told her I had to leave and get back home.
"I have to leave Yukina, Kurama must be worried about me." I said as I got my shoes on and stood to give my sister another hug. She waved good-bye as I closed the door. I started on my way and about an hour later I reached my front door after taking a few detours through the park. As I walked in the house, I noticed that there seem to be and endless silence throughout the darkened home. No shades have been opened and nothing looked out of place. The house looked dead even though Kurama was suppose to be here. I walked around and opened the blinds to the house before making my way up the stairs.
"Kurama! You here!" I called out as I made my way around the top floor. I looked in the bedroom and the master bathroom but there was no sign of him. I walked down the hall and into my old room. He wasn't in there either. I was about to leave the room when I heard a noise from the bathroom that was connected to my old room. I cautiously walked over to the door and turned the knob to find it locked. Strange, it wasn't locked when I left. I knocked on the door and waited for an answer.
"Kurama! Kurama, I know you're in there! Come out here! Kurama!" I waited a few minuets and had yet to get a reply. I growled out in anger before banging my fist on the door. "God damn it Kurama, get your fucking ass out here! Come out here right fucking now! God damn it Kurama! I'll bust down the fucking door if I have too! Damn it!" I hollered out but still had no answer. I stood back from the door some and kicked it in. The hinges shattered and the frame broke as the door gave way under my foot.
Kurama sat on the toilet with his head in his hands. I looked at him for a moment before I shook his form. He lifted his head to look at me and I cringed. He had dried tear stains running down his cheeks and red, puffy eyes from crying. What I cringed at the most was the blood that soaked through the sleeves of his shirt and had dried up. Sighing, I reach for Kurama and hulled him to his feet. He swaggered a little but was able to stand without any help. I led him out of the bathroom and down the hall to the master bedroom. I sat him down on the bed and went to retrieve the medical kit that was keep under the sink in the master bathroom. When I returned, Kurama was looking at me with a voided and dead look on his face.
"So, why did you do it Kurama?" I asked as I took out an ointment to clean his wounds with. Lifting the shirt sleeve, I once more cringed at the tattered and slashed arm of my lover. As I was applying the ointment, I looked up wanting an answer.
"You weren't here when I woke up. I assumed you once again changed you mind, even after last night. I thought you left me again and couldn't bare the thought. I was hurting. I needed an escaped from the pain and we didn't have anything to numb. I remember seeing it on the television and decided that it was worth a shot." was Kurama's reply. I shook my head in either shame or disgust or both, I didn't know which one it was.
"Did you little plan work? Has you pain been numbed?" I asked with a heavy voice of disgust and Kurama looked away in shame. I finished cleaning the cuts on his left arm and moved to the right one. It looked worse off that the other one did and it took all my strength to not beat the shit out of Kurama. I continued, "Well, did it work or not?"
"Yes," was all that came out of my mouth and I froze. The word seemed to not come out clearly and I looked at Kurama, who turned his head away from me, and gaped.
"It worked? Cutting yourself and causing yourself physical pain worked? How the hell does it work? You hurt yourself more and it works! It fucking works! Are you fucking stupid, Kurama? Have you completely lost you god damn mind? Are you that fucking depressed that you would risk your life and cause yourself physical harm to block out your pain? You dumbass! It doesn't fucking work you asshole. If it did then maybe I would have tried it. You fucking dumbass! How fucking stupid can you be! God damn!" I screamed as I threw down the ointment I was holding and stood up. Kurama looked away with shame in his eyes. I couldn't take it anymore and slapped Kurama across the face. Then I froze.
Stretched out, reached out all I can
I'm stretching out until the point I'm breaking
But you thought I'd never leave
Yet tomorrow may be another day, but the day
For no mistaking it could happen while you sleep
Now
Kurama looked back at me with anger and hurt. I couldn't tell which one over rid the other but I also didn't want to find out. I turned from Kurama and fled the room and the house. I didn't even stop when I heard sobs echoed through the house. I ran until my lungs burned and my legs hurt. I ran until I couldn't run anymore and dropped to my knees in a clearing tears pouring out of my eyes.
I hate him! I fucking hate the bastard! So fucking stupid... The dumbass! Telling me it fucking works! What a god damn lie! I know because I tried it and it didn't work! It doesn't work! What a bastard! A lying bastard! A stupid, lying bastard! A fucking stupid, lying, abusive bastard! I hate him! I don't love him! I hate the guy! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!
"I HATE HIM!"
I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up, I was staring up at a starry, winter night. I sighed and sat up groaning in the pain it caused me. I swear I'll never sleep in that angle again. My stomach grave a loud rumble for food and I sighed. I looked around before I spotted a small doe off to the right of me. It was about 50 yards away too. I smiled and with my inhuman speed, I drew closer to my prey. As the doe bent her head to graze again, I attacked and brought down the small dear easily. I snapped her neck into two. I set to work on skinning the doe. When finished I began a small fire and grabbed the meat I was to eat and began to cook it over the fire. I was almost like Makai but I would be eating another demon at the moment and not some doe.
When the meat was cook to the way I like it, I pulled it of the stick I has used to rotate it over the fire and began to eat. It wasn't long until I was full and my stomach stopped growling. I sighed and put out the fire before walking off, leaving the scrap meat for the birds. As I made my way home I could feel the fear sweep into my hear the closer I got to my house. I hated feel like this. I hated feeling fear. Yet, I hated Kurama more for making me feel this way.
As I reached my house I stopped out on the front lawn and sighed. I hated this place. It was so much more than some house. It felt like a fucking prison to me. I hated it when I was with Kurama and I hate it today. I can't stand this place. It holds so many bad memories I just want to burn it to the ground. Kurama along with it. I hate it! Yet, it seems to me that I have begun to hate a lot of things I use to love. Kurama more so than others. It's weird in some way and I don't know how to stop my hatred.
I jumped up on the patio roof and looked in on the first window. The window was one of five to the master bedroom. It looked dark but I could see a form, that was darker than all of the other things in the bedroom, on the bed. I sighed before jumping back down to the ground and proceeding through the front door. I walked up the stairs and down the hall to the master bedroom. Turning on the lights, I could seem Kurama's pale form lying on the bed facing towards the window. I walked over to the other side of the bed and sat down on the edge. Kurama had a pained and haunted look on his face as he slept. I pained me to see this but somewhere in the back of my mind I was laughing at him, telling him that he deserved the pain given to him. It was pay back in some form of another and I was strangely satisfied with it.
My hand reached up and moved some of the crimson bangs that had fallen into Kurama's face. He unconsciously moved closer to my hand, wanting the warmth that it provided. Sighing, I shook Kurama's shoulders to wake him from his nightmares. When half-lidded emerald eyes met mine, I saw Kurama smile slightly before it disappeared behind a mask. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and sat up. When he reached his hand upwards to move his hair out of his face, the sleeve to that arm feel down a bit and angry red cuts glared back at me.
"You really should bandage those." I said, pointing to the cuts on his arms. Kurama looked at what I was pointing to and cringed. He must have forgotten about them. Sighing, I grabbed the roll of cloth off the floor and told Kurama to hold out his arm. He looked reluctant but did as he was told. I wrapped the cuts of his right arm then moved to his left. I smiled at my work and then was taken off guard when Kurama pulled me into a hug. My body tensed at the contact, something that Kurama didn't miss, and he let go rather quickly. I sighed at the look in Kurama's eyes, they were filled with hurt and disappointment.
"Sorry," Kurama said and inched away from me to give me some room. I nodded and was about to say something when Kurama cut in. "Have you eaten yet?" Once more I nodded and he gave a small 'oh' before standing and walking out of the room and downstairs. Confused, I followed suite and we ended up in the kitchen. Kurama searched for something to eat while I grabbed a cup from the cabinet and got me some water from the water cooler to the right of me. As Kurama began to heat up left over spaghetti from a few nights ago, I chose to try and start a conversation.
"Are you feeling better?" I asked, trying to cut the awkward and unwelcome silence in half. It was so thick and consuming that it bothered me, I felt as if I were suffocating. Kurama smiled kindly at me which caused me to give a small smile back. I hadn't seen that kind of a smile in a while at it was the light in the darkened tunnel.
"Much better, thank you." came Kurama's reply and I nodded. Kurama continued, "I sorry for angering you earlier. I meant nothing by what I said. Forgive me."
I didn't know how to answer so I gave a small nod which seemed to suit Kurama just fine. I looked at the cup half-full of water and sighed. Why was everything so hard? Why couldn't things be the way they used to? Why did I continue to torture myself? Why do I continue to return to this hell on Earth for no reason at all? It couldn't be Kurama... No. He wasn't the reason I return. I refuse to let him be the reason for coming back here everyday. I don't want to be here but for some reason I can't leave. I don't know why but... I just can't. It hurts too... To never be able to let go is tearing me apart. Damn it all to hell! I hate being this way! I hate being a fucking push over; yet, here I am letting Kurama walk all over me like I'm so kind of a fucking door mat! It fucking drives me fucking insane! I can't take it anymore! Yet, I always end up coming back and I have no idea why. It's aggregating. It really is.
It seems no matter what you do
It seems no matter what you say
It seems however far away
I still keep running back to you
"Hiei, are you alright?" was the thing that brought me out of my haunting thoughts and into the reality world, a place that I had no desire to be. I looked Kurama in the eyes and forced a smile.
"I'm fine, just thinking." I answered and Kurama seemed to become curious. I said nothing while I put away my cup and grabbed a plate out of the dishwasher for Kurama. He thanked me before putting a hefty amount of spaghetti onto his plate for dinner. We both walked over to the island and took a seat in one of the stools. Kurama began to eat in silence as I once more drifted into my mind where there were no unhappy endings. In my world everything was perfect. I back in Makai with Kurama who had chosen to come back with me. We were living in a small but rather cozy cave that was hidden behind many, many vines and dangerous plants. Kurama was not his former abusive self nor was he this new depressed, lying, and fake self. He was the way he was when we still did mission from that brat of a baby. He was still mysterious, charming, alluring, kind hearted, and never would hurt any of his friends. I miss that Kurama but I know that he is never coming back and I have to except that but it's so hard.
I want him the way he was but he has changed and I don't think he will go back to the way he was... Ever. It scares me to know that something so terrible would happen to Kurama to cause him to become the cold and uncaring piece of shit that abused me when ever he had the fucking chance. I can't believe that I let him but I had so many false hopes of that Kurama was just going through a stage and everything would eventually go back to normal. Guess I was wrong, huh?
I sighed and looked over to Kurama who was staring deeply into his plate of spaghetti. He has changed a lot but he wasn't the only one. I have changed dramatically too from anybody who knew me. I have grown less cold and withdrawn from my friends as I normally once was. I have become insecure about my looks because Kurama would always be dissatisfied with what I was wearing or how I looked. Also, I have grown weak and depended on Kurama for money and support even though that was never there in our relationship. The biggest change was the fact that I started to hate Kurama instead of loving him... Come to think of it, I still do.
I was brought out of my thought when I felt a hand placed on my shoulder. I jumped a little which I mentally kicked myself for and looked up to meet Kurama's guarded eyes. I forced another smile and stood from my chair. Kurama wasn't the only one who is fake. I thought to myself as I followed Kurama up the stairs and into the bedroom. Once past the door frame Kurama pulled me to him and gave me a soft passionate kiss. Before it could get any deeper the phone rang and I pulled away to answer. I almost missed the disappointment and hurt in Kurama's dull and dead eyes.
Phone conversation hints: It's a three-way phone call.
Bold and Italic- Shori
Bold- Kurama-
Regular- Hiei
"Moshi Moshi." I answered as I picked up the phone. I looked over to Kurama, who had picked up the phone from the office from down the hall, and smiled.
"Hello, Hiei. It's me Shori!" came a soft angelic voice from the other end. I smiled happily but it disappeared when I looked over at Kurama. He seemed so sad all of a sudden and it hurt me too for some reason. Shori continued, " You still there Hiei?"
"Yeah, I'm here. How are you? It's been a long time since we last talked or anything like that."
"I know, darling. I doing just fine, thank you. How are things with you? I heard from Yukina that your pregnant. Is it true?" asked Shori and I couldn't help but let out a small laugh. (A/N: Shori knows about Hiei being a demon along with Yukina, Kurama, and Yuskue.)
"It's true. I am going to have a baby and I would really like you to be there during birth."
"I will be there. So, how are things between you and Kurama? He's not hurting you again, is he?"
"N..." I was cut off by Kurama who decided to join in the conversation at that moment.
"No mother, I haven't laid a hand on him." came Kurama's pitiful reply. He sounded so broken when he spoke and the look in his eyes told all. There was a ling pause of silence as Shori registered that her real son had just spoken.
"S-S-Shuichi... I-is that y-you?"
"Yes mother, it me. How are you doing? We haven't spoken in so long. I'm sorry about that."
"N-no. That's quite alright Shuichi. I'm doing fine. H-how about you?"
"I could be better but I'm not bad off. Hiei and I are still living together but have come to mutual understandings."
"That's great dear."
"Shori," I butted in to cause the awkward conversation to come to an end, "Would you mind if Kurama and I came over to see you? I have wanted some of your good home-made cooking for a while now. A baby craving if you will."
"Sure! I would love to have the two of you over. How about tomorrow night? I have nothing planned and Shuichi and my husband will be home from a father-son trip they went on."
"Sounds good mother, we'll be there."
"Well, I must be going. I have to get up early to go to work. It was good talking to you both."
"Alright mother, I'll see you tomorrow. Good-night." And with that, Kurama hung up the phone he was on and walked out of the room to place it on the receiver in the office.
"Bye," Was all I said before I too, hung up the phone and place it back where it belonged. When Kurama walked back into the room I smiled at him and he tried to return it but it seem to come out wrong. He walked over to the bed I was sitting on and pulled me onto his lap. I sighed and lifted my eyes to met his. They were still guarded but they had gained back some of their shine they used to have.
"We should get some sleep too Kurama. I need to rest up some." I said as I pulled myself away from Kurama. He nodded and allowed me to go. I walked into the conjoined bathroom and closed the door. Stripping myself of my clothing, I walked over to the shower and turned on the water. When the temperature was just right, I climbed in and began to bathe. When I finished washing away the dirt and grime from my hair, I reach to grab the bar of soap but yelped when two arms wrapped around my waist. I turned in the embrace to find Kurama smiling at me. Rolling my eyes, I pulled away from the embrace and turned away from him scowling. I reached for the soap once more but stopped my hand in thin air as Kurama grasped my buttocks and squeezed them together. I growled dangerously while turning to face him and punched his arm, not to hurt him but as a warning.
"YOU HENTAI!" I screeched at Kurama as he held back a chuckle. I snorted before backing away from him and took hold of the bar of soap with my eyes still transfixed of the kitsune in front of me. Kurama moved forward to take hold of me and did not stop until I was pressed against the tiled wall. I glared my hatred and displeasure at the fox but it did little to stop his advances. He pulled me against his naked form and smirked, placing his face into the croak of my neck. He place little butterfly kisses along the base of my neck and trailed upwards to nubble on my ear. His hot breath against the craven of my ear caused a powerful and unwanted shudder of pleasure to pass through me spine.
"Only for you, koi." Kurama stated causing a blush to begin on my cheeks. I couldn't tell what was stronger at that moment, my anger towards Kurama or the humiliation of the whole ordeal. A moan erupted from my mouth as Kurama suddenly pressed his hardening member to mine. In all honesty, I only want to shove Kurama away and beat the living shit out of him but my body refused to obey my commands.
Kurama kissed me passionately as he traced his fingers over my chest and arms, stopping only to tweak my nibbles roughly. I moaned into his mouth which allowed Kurama the opportunity to slip his warm tongue into my mouth. After a few seconds had past, I began to kiss back causing our tongues to engage in a fierce and fiery dance of passion and pleasure. Kurama ran his hands down my chest then circled them around and up my back, pulling me away from the wall and back down only moments later to rest on my slim hips. Pulling away from the kiss, I groaned out in pleasure as he traced my inner thigh with his right hand.
"Fuck," I moaned as Kurama trailed his hand up my inner thigh and missing my erection by no more than a hair. "Damn it Kurama, can't you control your urges?" I asked as Kurama softly ran the tips of his fingers over my erection. I squirmed, wanting his hand to grasp me and bring my the release I desired. Kurama chuckled as he hauled me up, wrapping my legs around his waist as he continued to assault my neck with his tender kisses.
"I don't hear you complaining." was Kurama's answer, his voice husky and deep with lust. I hissed in slight pain and pleasure as Kurama bit down hard on my earlobe. Kurama's hips ground into my own causing my to buck back up against him in pleasure.
"Don't get smart with me asshole." I hissed out making Kurama smirk. I really hated it when he mocked me. The fucking bastard. "If you control your fucking hormones, I probably be more willing to have a good fuck. Yet, you have to go and be a damn hentai and come onto me whenever your horning. Damn pervert."
"What can I say, Hiei... I'm addicted to your scent and body." was all that I got before Kurama pushed a moist finger into my body causing shudders to run through the course of my body. I groaned at the feeling as I rocked my body against his middle finger wanting it to go deeper.
There's room for changing, so I'm rearranging
Myself to be much better than what I am now
Yes, I'm addicted, and I admit it
So everything can be better than what it is now
So much better now
"Kurama... oh fuck...yes" the moans along those lines continued to pour from me a
Kurama entered ring and index finger. They pushed deep into me trying to reach for my prostate that would bring the immense pleasure. As they hit the spot my body went rigid with the feeling and I howled out want to feel more.
"You like it, fire baby?" questioned Kurama as he pushed his fingers against my prostate with a large amount of force. I glared at him with displeasure at the choice of the pet name he gave me. My stare faltered quickly as Kurama rapidly pressed my spot making my body jerk with the force and pleasure.
"K-Kur-Kura...ma... oh...fuck yes...oh huh... yes... fuck Kurama!" my moans echoed through the large bathroom, bouncing off the walls as it would in a large deserted cave in Makai. I felt myself draw closer and closer to my orgasm. I pushed back as Kurama drove his finger faster and harder into my body and against my prostate. Suddenly, my body jerk and convulsed as I spilled my cum against Kurama's and my stomach. I gasped for air as Kurama pulled his fingers out of me. I was vaguely aware of Kurama thrusting his large, thick, hot member inside my body. I groaned at the entry and placed my hands atop of Kurama's shoulders as he began to thrust into me without mercy.
"You're so hot, Hiei. Tight too," Kurama grunted as he pushed his length in and out of my body. I used his shoulders for support as I pulled myself up on the organ inside my body. Kurama moaned in hot pleasure as I wrapped my legs tighter around his waist and pulled him deeper into my willing body. Damn did it feel good. As Kurama approached the edge, he took my member in his hands and jerked me off to match the fast paced thrusting. In a matter of minuets, I was once more overwhelmed with satisfaction and came again over our bodies. Kurama hissed in his climax as he spilled his hot seed into my passage. Kurama leaned against me while he caught his breath and when he did, he placed me back on my feet.
Kurama picked up the soap that I had dropped while fucking and proceeded the clean my body as well as his. When he was finished, he stood with me under the shower head and allowed the water to rain down upon us.
Half an hour later, Kurama and I were wrapped up in our winter blanket. I sighed and curled in closer to Kurama while hating myself for doing it. I couldn't help it, though. For some odd and bazaar reason I still felt a strong sensation of love towards the man who had beaten me until I could barely breath. Closing my eyes in aggravation, I sighed.
"Is there something wrong, Hiei?" Kurama asked in his concerned voice he often did with me now days. It pissed me off to no end for some reason. I hated it. It was as if he was mocking my confusion and pain but most of all it felt as if he was mocking me. I felt so weak around him and the reality of it was tearing me apart inside.
"I'm not your koi." was what popped out of my mouth before I had time to think. Kurama tensed and a flash of hurt rang through his eyes as he looked down at me.
"What?" Kurama asked, not really comprehending what I really wanted to tell him. I looked away in annoyance. I blurted it out so I might as well say something to add to it.
"You heard me, Kurama, I am NOT you koi." I hissed koi like it was some type of poison that was going to kill me. Kurama blinked away the tears of betrayal away from his emerald green eyes. I continued, "We are getting a divorce and that's that. There is nothing you can say or do to make me change my mind. We came to an agreement that we would only stay together for the child's sake and nothing more. Afterwards, we are to separate and go our own ways once I give birth. So, I would appreciate if you keep your fucking fantasies to yourself and not call me your koi because it obviously hasn't settled in yet that I am not yours anymore.
"Get your fucking mind out of the gutter and face the god damn truth, Kurama. Quite acting like a baby and being responsible for your fucking action for once damn it. I'm not yours! I will never again be yours! Get it through you mind! OKAY? JUST GET IT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING MIND, KURAMA!"
By the time I was done I could feel Kurama's body shaking with suppressed sobs. I cringed and dared to look up. As my crimson eyes but emerald green, my heart ached as his eyes were filled with so much pain and suffering. Tears leaked out of the corner of his eyes as he was unable to hold them back. I looked away and sighed when Kurama unwrapped me from his embrace and left the room. The guest bedroom down the hall closed with a soft 'click' but Kurama's wails of frustration, pain, suffering, betrayal forced its way down the empty hallway and into my room and to my ears. I felt my own hot tears at the back of my eye lids but I refused to let them go.
After about an hour or so of tossing and turning, Kurama's sobs of pain had died down to whimpering before they disappeared altogether. I sighed in relief as Kurama either ran out of tears to shed or cried himself to sleep. I allowed the soft hum of the house bring me to sleep.
I stood alone, pulled a dime from my pocket and wished
Making sure it hit the bottom of the well
But fruition never came
So I am taking back my wishes, I could be wrong
But this is another reason for an angry farewell
But I'm anxious for a change now
I woke up around noon to my surprise. As I changed into a pair of deep red boxers, my mind began to drift to Kurama. I had hurt him and I mean really hurt him last night. Sighing, I pulled on a pair of loose black baggy jeans. They had chains, hooks, and straps hanging off in some places. I pulled on a black fish net shirt before pulling on a T-shirt that said in bold all cap print 'UP YOURS!'. Pulling on a pair of white socks I left the room in search for Kurama as well as to get something to eat.
It seems no matter what you do
It seems no matter what you say
It seems however far away
I still keep running back to you
As I entered the kitchen, Kurama looked up from his spot at the island. His eyes were red and puffy from his probably crying recently. His cheeks where flushed and his hair was slightly disheveled. He was wearing a white button down shirt with the collar folded. Brown khakis covered the lower proportion of his body. He looked semi-fine but if one were to take one look into his eyes you would know he was suffering. The were a dead emerald green. They had lost their shine to them and held so much suffering. I diverted my gaze from his eyes and went to the fridge. I poured me a glass of orange juice and walked over to the island. I stood there no looking Kurama in the eyes but knew without a doubt that he was watching me.
It seems no matter what you do
It seems no matter what you say
It seems however far away
I still keep running back to you
"Damn it Kurama! Why the hell do you have to be so... so hurt by all of this. I only told you the truth that you should of realized from the beginning. I wasn't trying to hurt you or make you cry but damn it you need to stop living in the fantasies. They aren't real and they never will be real. Just stop fucking moping around and get on with your life. Go back to school or go out and met with some friends. Your life doesn't have to end because I'm leaving you. It shouldn't happen like that, you know. Damn it Kurama, you are not the only one hurting because of this. Why can't you fucking see that?
"Did you honestly think that you and I were and or are going to get back together. That when I said I wanted a divorce that I was lying. Tell me. What is going through your head? I'm not lying and I know what I am saying. You may feel betrayed by this but how the fuck did you think I was feeling everyday when he beat the shit out of me? I swear your stupid sometimes Kurama!" I stated causing Kurama to blink back tears once more. I sighed and walked around the island and pulled Kurama to me. I let him rest his head on my shoulders while he sobbed away his pain. While rubbing his back I couldn't help but feel guilty for hurting Kurama like this. Damn it! Why do I keep coming back to you Kurama?
Keep running back to you, I keep crawling back to you
I keep running back to you
Keep running back to you, I keep crawling back to you
I keep coming back, crawling back, crawling back to you
SingMyLullabySweet666: Well, thanks for reading and sorry if it is a little long. I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. I love the song and I hope you have heard of it. It's a very nice song!
Hiei: Get on with it!
SingMyLullabySweet666: Anyway, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Years!