And it hurts with every heartbeat

Previously:

'What's with all this crying today?' she heard someone ask from the doorway.

She rolled her eyes and wiped the tears away. 'Dr. Sloan. What are you still doing here?' she asked.

'I could ask you the same thing.' He said as he walked over to the bed, grabbed the chart and read it.

'I was just … looking after her, like I promised her … her mother.' Izzie quietly spoke as she stroked the girls' hand.

Mark looked at her. He had heard the hesitation when she said 'her mother'.

'Are you all right Ste … Izzie?' he asked her.

Izzie turned to him. That was the first time he's ever spoken her name. She shook her head no and began to cry again.

If there was one thing he hated more than teaching interns it was women who where crying. He didn't know how to handle that, but to let Izzie know he was there; he put a hand on her shoulder and gently squeezed it.

That's when he heard her whisper, 'Hannah's my daughter.'

To say he was surprised was an understatement. He slightly turned to her.

'She's your … ?' he didn't finish his question.

She just nodded.

He quickly walked to the corner of the room, grabbed a chair and sat down next to her. He studied Hannah for a moment and then looked at Izzie.

'Now that you mention it, she does look like you!' Mark said.

Izzie smiled a little and turned to him grateful that he tried to make light of the situation. She was also grateful that he didn't ask any further questions.

They sat there for a few minutes in complete silence. 'Should I tell her?' he thought to himself, 'She looks like a person you can trust.'

'I wonder if my child would've looked like me?'

Now it was Izzie's turn to be surprised. She turned to him and noticed that the man beside her was not the cocky surgeon she knew, or thought she knew. He was just as human and as hurt as she was.

'What … what happened?' she asked him.

'Addison aborted the baby without even talking to me first. Said she wanted a baby, just not my baby. She also said I'd make a terrible father, which was probably true but still…'

Izzie grabbed his hand. 'Don't say that Mark. How did she know you'd be a terrible father? She never even gave you a chance.' She paused, but then continued, 'Becoming a parent changes you! For what it's worth I think you'll make a great dad one day!'

Mark looked at their hands, still entwined, and gently squeezed hers.

'Yeah, well I don't think that's going to happen soon.' He grinned at her.

His thumb was gently stroking the back of her hand.

She smiled at him.

'Don't say that, you never know what can happen!'

They fell into a comfortable silence, hands still entwined. Him stroking her hand had a calming effect on her. She just sat back in her chair looking at the little girl.

After a few minutes into the silence he looked at his watch.

'It's getting late. You should probably go home and get some sleep.' He told her as he let go of her hand and stood up; he stretched.

'What if she wakes up?' Izzie asked, not wanting to go home at all.

'The nurses are looking after her. And to be honest, I don't think she'll wake up tonight, with all the painkillers she's getting.' Mark said as he put the chair he occupied back into its place.

Izzie stood up and leaned towards the girl kissing her on the forehead. Mark just admired her from the side.

He had to admit to himself, Izzie was a surprisingly strong young woman.

'Ugh,' she groaned. 'I don't want to go home.'

He looked at her as she stretched.

'Why not?' he asked.

'There'll be questions. Questions I don't want to answer.' She said and started walking towards the door.

'How about dinner then? Have you eaten anything today?' he asked her as he followed her out.

She looked at him sceptically.

'Oh come on Izzie, I'm trying to be nice here.' He said while they waited for the elevator.

'Why?' she asked as she looked at him.

'Because you trusted me with one of your secrets that, obviously, your friends don't know about.'

She just kept looking at him.

'And because I can be a nice guy!' he stated.

The elevator arrived and they stepped in after the doors had opened. They stood side by side.

'My treat!' he said in a last attempt to convince her.

She turned to him and grinned.

'You never had to try that hard with a woman before did you?'

He smiled at her. 'No, to be honest I've never had to try that hard!'

Then he asked, 'So?'

'Well since you're buying!'

He rolled his eyes but then smiled at her.

GA McStizzie GA McStizzie GA McStizzie GA McStizzie GA McStizzie GA McStizzie

They had agreed on a little, cosy Italian restaurant in the centre of Seattle. Izzie had insisted on a table in the back where they could talk and where it was quieter, since the place was crowded, even this late.

As they were waiting for the waiter to bring their dinner, Mark was studying Izzie, and then contemplated if he should ask the question he wanted to ask. Izzie noticed this.

'Just ask me!' she said.

Mark looked up at her.

'Ask what?'

'What you want to know.'

Mark hesitated, but couldn't help himself so he asked, 'Why did you give her … uhm,' he hesitated as he saw Izzie started to fidget in her chair. 'Why did you give her up for adoption?' he finally asked her.

Izzie looked down at her hands that were resting on her lap. Mark quickly put his hand on the table in front of her to get her attention.

'Look, Izzie, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. It's none of my business so you don't have to answer!' he quickly said.

Izzie looked up and smiled, even though she looked sad as she thought about Hannah and the adoption.

'It's ok. Don't worry.' She told him grabbing his hand that was still on the table in front of her. He scooted his chair closer to the table and leaned over it a little.

'I was 16 when I got pregnant.' She began. 'Of course my boyfriend bolted as soon as I told him.' She fell silent. Mark gently squeezed her hand comforting her with this gesture. 'My mother wanted me to keep her but I knew, even at 16, I knew that baby deserved better then life at a trailer park.'

Izzie's eyes began to water. She quickly wiped her eyes before the tears could fall.

So I don't look back

Still I'm dying with every step I take

But I don't look back

And it hurts with every heartbeat

And it hurts with every heartbeat

'Does she know who you are?' Mark quietly asked.

Izzie shook her head, wiping her eyes again. Her voice cracked.

'No. Last year … last year she was diagnosed with leukemia. I was a perfect match so I donated. But she … uhm she didn't want to know who donated. She didn't want to meet me!'

Izzie looked down at the table, ashamed that she was crying yet again.

'Hey,' Mark said, but she kept looking at the table. 'Hey, Izzie, look at me!' Mark said more firmly. Izzie looked up. 'I'm sure that if she knew who you were, she'd want to meet you!'

The waiter appeared with their dinner and Izzie quickly wiped her eyes. When the waiter left Izzie said, 'How about we talk about something else?'

Mark just nodded his head.

'Okay, but nothing work related!' Izzie said and smiled at him. He smiled back at her and they began to eat.

Mark parked in front of Meredith's house and cut of the engine of his car. They just sat there in silence.

Mark turned to Izzie.

'I'd offer to walk you to your door, but since you didn't want any questions…' he said.

She turned to him and smiled.

'It's okay; I think I can make it there on my own.'

Yet again the car was filled with silence.

Finally Izzie said, 'I uhm; I should go.'

Mark only nodded.

Izzie suddenly smirked at him. 'You know, I never thought I'd say this, but I had a really great time tonight. Thank you!'

Mark playfully rolled his eyes at her but then grinned. 'I told you I could be a nice guy.' And he continued, 'Just don't tell anyone that, I've got a reputation to keep up!'

Izzie grinned. 'Don't worry, they wouldn't believe me if I told them.'

Then she did something that surprised him. She moved her hand to his face, gently stroked his cheek and then kissed him on his other cheek.

'Goodnight Mark.' She said before she opened the car door to get out.

'Goodnight Izzie.' He said before she closed the door and walked over to the front door of her house.

He sat in his car and watched her go in and wave at him before she closed the door. He started the car and took off.

A smile plastered on his face.

AN: Hi guys, first of all I'm so sorry for the delay in updating, but I had a crappy/busy week! Second of all thank you so much to all of those who reviewed. Hope you like this chapter! I tried to make it longer than the other two because you had to wait. Well I hope you all have a great weekend! R&R

The title of this chapter is also the title of a song : With every heartbeat by Robyn. Part of the song is in Italics