"Stupid idiot calling me here because 'I'm a disturbance to the Soul Society's peace!' From where I stand he is the true disturbance!" Renji Abarai grumbled as he neared the large shoji doors which led into Byakuya Kuchiki's little corner of the Soul Society. He raised his hand to knock but the doors flew open before he could make his move.

"Come in Renji." Byakuya ordered, the other stood there wide eyed with his hand still raised, "You and I need to have a little talk."

Renji trudged into the room and began to sit before Captain Kuchiki walked over to him and fisted a good portion of the red hair and walked, dragging the irritated lieutenant into his office.

"Ow…ow…damn…ow!" Renji tried to protest but byakuya just tightened his grip. Byakuya managed to close the door behind them before roughly throwing the surprised youth into a chair opposite his, "That hurt Captain!" Abarai screamed, "What the hell is your problem?!" After screaming, he launched himself over the desk at his captain

"Good morning Hisagi." Izuru yawned stretching his arms as he walked into the Kuchiki common room for their lieutenants meeting.

"Shhhh…" Hisagi hushed waving his hand, motioning Izuru over to Byakuya's office door which his ear was firmly attached to, "Come listen."
"Hisagi," Izuru whispered making his way over, "Should we really be spying on the one of our superiors?" Izuru placed an ear to the door.

"When are you going to understand that this is my squad which means I am on top and you aren't?" Byakuya's voice echoed within the chamber.

Izuru looked at Shuuhei with an 'Oh my God' face before pressing his ear against the door again.

"What if I don't like it when you're on top!" Crash, the sound of things falling off of Captain Kuchiki's desk filled Hyosuke, and Shuuhei's ears.

"Well your gonna have to get use to it right NOW!" Captain Kuchiki yelled back, followed by thumping sounds.

"AHH! Captain Kuchiki! That was way to…Ugh…big!"

Hyosuke and Shuuhei started blushing thinking of all the things that could be going on in there.

"Relax…Abarai!" Captain Kuchiki said between gasps of air, "you're strangling…Me!" Thud!

"Well you…AHH!" Crash, "shouldn't be so rough!"
"Well," Crash, crash, bang, crash, "CAPTAIN KUCHIKI!!"

After a few more sounds of breaking glass, thumping and other strange sounds, there was some silence then some murmurs inaudible to Shuuhei and Izurui who ran to the couch and pretended to be doing something else, before the two emerged.

"Oh, hey Shuuhei, Izurui!" Captain Kuchiki smiled

"Don't you hey us!" Shuuhei yelled surprising and confusing Captain Kuchiki, "Look at you two!"

Byakuya's hayori was untucked and hanging at his sides revealing cuts and bruises along his chest and abdomen, and Abarai's now sleeveless and almost backless Shihakusho revealed the same. Not to mention their hair looked like it had been attacked by scissors, a razor, and possible a vacuum cleaner.

"What were you two thinking?!" Shuuhei yelled as Kira rose to join him

"We thought we needed to establish a few rules, like who sits atop." Captain Kuchiki said wondering what the big deal was

"Oh, oh, oh!" Shuuhei and Kira yelled together

"I don't even want to think about who sits on top!" Shuuhei yelled surprising Captain Kuchiki

"Yeah," Captain Kuchiki said sarcastically, "Cuz you and you're captains have already had that talk and stuff." Captain Kuchiki turned to Kira who took a big step away from Shuuhei, "We haven't had the talk cuz, I think you already know who's top dog around here."

"CAPTAIN KUCHIKI!!" Shuuhei yelled scaring, yes scaring Byakuya, "We herd everything, It sounds like you and Abarai crossed the line and bought sex-hundred square feet of property!!"

"WHAT?!" Captain Kuchiki and Renji screamed, "What the hell is that suppose to mean?!"

"When are you going to understand that this is my house so I am on top and you aren't?" Shuuhei replayed what he had herd earlier.

"I was talking about on top as, 'in charge'!" Byakuya snapped back now understanding Shuuhei's issue.

"AHH! Captain Kuchiki! That was way to…ugh…big!" Izuru imitated the sounds he herd earlier, however with a little more drama

"He threw an Encyclopedia at me! Hence the 'Ahh! Captain Kuchiki! That was way too big!' The Ugh was because of a dictionary!" Abarai protested finally catching on.

"Relax…Abarai, Your strangling me?" Shuuhei asked awaiting an answer.

"He was strangling me!!" Byakuya said throwing his hands up in the air, "Literally!"

"And…the…CAPTAIN KUCHIKI?" Izuru asked realizing how stupid he and Hisagi were, "And all the thumping?"

"He ran up and punched me in the face, and the thumping was from getting thrown around!" Renji replied thoroughly irritated.

"Oh…no…sex…?" Shuuhei asked timidly "Just…talk?"

"Yes Shuuhei, no sex, just talk." Captain Kuchiki said annunciating each syllable like he was talking to a baby, which he may as well have been doing as stupid as Shuuhei was.

"Oh sorry." SMACK