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Dear Journal,

Oh, something terrible happened today…

But let me start from the beginning.

I met Justyn again today in the library. I knew my parents and Dane were getting very suspicious of my sudden interest in Jedi history though. So far I've blackmailed Ian enough to keep quiet about Justyn. I just didn't know what Dad would say about him. He's always been so over-protective of me. Grandma Mirax tells me to just ignore him because it's just that I'm his "little girl" and he doesn't like that I'm growing up. But sometimes like with Justyn, I wish he'd lighten up and trust my judge of character. Sure, maybe my other boyfriends weren't that great, but did he really have to show them his lightsaber collection and tell them that he's a master of every lightsaber form known to the Jedi? Or that he could have been a Sith Lord before he was even sixteen? Come on, is that really necessary? Well, anyway I really didn't what him scaring Justyn away before I have a chance with him. But I may have done that myself.

Today was the third day of meeting with him and I realized that despite his openness about himself and his fa mily on Dathormir, he's very shy. I think it probably has to do with growing up on Dathomir more than anything. But he is also the most courteous guy I think I know our age. He stands when I approach and he's also asked me if he could get me a drink yesterday. I never had a guy volunteer to get me anything. They all seem to think that because I'm a Jedi, I would want to do everything myself and not be treated like a girl. Maybe it's because Justyn is the first Jedi I've seriously considered more than just a friend. I don't know. But I do know this, I definitely consider him more than a just a friend. Especially after my thoughts when I saw him today. I was surprised when I saw him dressed in a more traditional Dathomiri way. Sweet Force, I thought I'd lose it and drool all over him. He must have picked on my barely controlled emotions because he blushed, which only made him all the more hotter.

Well, anyway, after his embarrassment at my admiration and mine at being so terribly obvious about my feelings were over he asked me to go on a walk with him. I tried to sneak out of the library but Ian caught us and I about died when the idiot reminded me that I was grounded and had to stay with him. If I ever had the inclination to become a Sith it would have been then, because I felt like throttling the dweeb. Justyn was sweet about it, though, and said that it was okay if I couldn't go, but it wasn't. I wanted to see him some place other than the boring library.

I eventually reasoned with the twerp that shares my parents that Justyn and I weren't going anywhere outside the Temple and that since Mom and Dad were both here too, I wasn't violating my grounding. I had never been so glad to leave that place.

Finally, outside and heading for the Room of a Thousand Fountains, we talked about our training and other "safe" topics. Nothing of which I can remember because I was too distracted by his muscular arms and the bit of tanned toned chest I could see under the Rancor hide vest he was wearing. But realizing I had to really say something a bit more intelligent then I had up to that point, I asked him if he'd like to spar sometime. He grinned and nodded and then I noticed his lightsaber which was made from the traditional fang from a Rancor. Of all the Dathomiri Jedi I've met over the years, I had only known two males, Justyn being one of them. But unlike Xalor Ti, Master Kirana Ti's grandson, Justyn had a power about him that crackled. I think sparring with him would be an experience to die for. Even if he beats me.

Finally, we headed back to the library but before we could get there I saw my dad and Master Durron heading in our direction. There was no hope of avoiding them and Justyn had no clue as to why we should. So, I felt like I was being put on a Ewok roasting spit when the Masters stopped before us.

Master Durron introduced Justyn to Dad by saying, "Ben, this is my grandson, Justyn. Justyn, this is Master Skywalker." All the while Dad looked at me with the most curious expression I'd ever seen on his face. But he held out his hand and shook Justyn's. Then Master Durron went on and I wished the floor could have swallowed me. "It seems Jessi and Justyn have become quite the fast friends. All he talks about is her."

I felt Justyn's embarrassment as acutely as mine, but it was worse when Dad raised his eyebrow and smirked, "Really? Jessi hasn't said a word about Justyn."

Justyn glanced at me and I really wished I could do that thing the Aing-tii do and go back into time because I would have done it right then and there. He was so hurt by my Dad's careless remark. I could see it in his eyes and I could feel it in the Force. I wanted to scream that it wasn't because I didn't think about him all the time, but because I knew the type of big deal my stupid dad would make of it.

But instead I stood there and let my dad make a total fool out of me in front of the only guy I ever thought I actually cared about.

Damn. I'm crying again. Sometimes I really hate being Ben Skywalker's daughter.

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