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I'm so depressed, Journal. I haven't seen Justyn in nearly a week and I don't know when I will again. You see, Uncle Valin and me are getting ready for a mission to Naboo to mediate some stupid disagreement between the Naboo and the Gungans. I guess I get my wish—I'm off to see the galaxy but why just now?

But besides my almost constant briefings on the history of the tensions between the two peoples of Naboo, I think Justyn's been avoiding me. He hadn't answered my private messages. I can understand why. I know he thinks that I don't like him. Plus I've done some research about Dathomiri society. Yes, imagine that, I actually researched something—on my own! I know that he won't make the first move. It's not how he was raised. But I've been messaging him. Oh this is awful. Why did my dad have to be so stupid to say what he did? Sometimes I think he does things like that thinking he's funny. Well, he isn't!

Dad did come to my room and apologize for what he said. I know Mom told him to do it but I guess I'm glad that he did. Even though he said something stupid about not realizing that his remark hurt me so much and not really understanding what it's like to be young. He explained—again—that he didn't have a normal life as a teenager. Of course he didn't! He was too busy running around being the perfect Sith Lord with his cousin Darth Krayt!

Oh, I know I should try to understand him but I can't. We just frustrate each other. He didn't have a normal life so he doesn't want us to either. I honestly don't know how Dane and Ian survived. Of course, Dane is so much like Dad in personality that I'm surprised that he didn't become Sith when he was younger too. Ian just keeps his head glued to a datapad.

Me—I'm different. Grandma Mirax has told me once that I'm a lot like my Mom when she was young. I can hardly believe that but I don't think Grandma would lie to me. She told me once that it was only my Mom who believed my Dad could be saved. You see, Mom disobeyed Grandpa and Grandma Horn and left Ossus to go to some asteroid near Bimmiel where Grandpa and Grandma Skywalker hunted down Jacen and Ben. There was a big fight and in the end Jacen, Darth Krayt, killed Grandpa Luke and Dad fought with Grandma almost beating her. Mom found them and just before Dad would have killed Grandma, she ran in and stopped the battle. I guess, she talked Dad out of the fight and in the end she turned him back to the Light Side. Grandma Mirax said that in the end that she and Grandpa were glad that Mom disobeyed them because it was her friendship with Dad that turned him back. A few years later they got married and Dane was born not a year later. Grandma Mara once told me that if it hadn't been for my mom, she probably would have lost that battle and the Jedi may have been lost to Krayt.

But I don't know if I really believe my grandmas, if I was like Mom wouldn't Dad understand me better? Mom always says that Dad is the only one who really knows what she's thinking and feeling. Well, if I'm so much like Mom, Dad should get me, right? Why then does he always have to treat me like a baby? Maybe I'll ask Uncle Valin sometime why Dad treats me like this. They've been friends forever; maybe he knows something I don't.

Anyway, I told Dad the reason I never said anything about Justyn was because I knew what he would say and make a big deal about him. Dad only got this weird look on his face and nodded. He told me that he wasn't sure about Justyn. Sure, Master Durron was a good guy but he didn't even know that he had a daughter and a fa mily on Dathomir. Justyn was a complete stranger. I told Dad that I know that Justyn is my friend and that I really want to get to know him better. Then I told him about Justyn. Well, some of what Justyn told me and what we did when we were together. He simply nodded and stood up not saying a word more. But then he did this weird thing that he does sometimes that really freaks me out. He just stops at my door and stares at me. I can never get a sense of what he's thinking then but somehow he almost feels sad. But that night was different, he seemed really—I don't know—resigned. Yeah, that's it. Like he was letting something go and didn't want to.

Well, it's getting really late and I have to meet Uncle Valin tomorrow early in the morning. He wants me to meditate with him and then we're going to spar. I like to spar with Uncle Valin and Corry, since they don't have telekinesis ability I can sometimes get the upper hand. Not for long but its fun. Of course, I had better not Force shove Uncle Valin like I have Corry, especially now that he's my Master.

Good night, Journal. (yawn)

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