Epilogue:
(This will be the last chapter, hope everyone enjoyed, review pretty please!! I love to hear your opinions even if you have criticism.)
Three weeks laterI stared down at the odd looking stick and my stomach turned. This was it. I took off the cap and stared at it for a moment longer. I couldn't believe I really had to pee on it. Jared had done a quick raid a few days ago and somehow managed to find a pregnancy test. Don't ask me how. I did my business and came back out of the cave. Ian was standing there with a hopeful expression. He grabbed my hand and we strolled down the tunnels back to his room. I figured by the time we got there I could check the results. I walked slowly trying to drag the walk on and Ian followed suit.
It had been 3 weeks since Kyle attacked me. I was feeling a lot better. I could walk now just fine, and was mostly healed. I was still a little soar in more severe places but almost perfect. The only thing that hadn't healed was the emotional trauma. I could never walk anywhere by myself. I feared the dark that seemed to be everywhere in these caves. I was constantly afraid that someone or something would jump out at me and I hated it. I had never been that way before. I made Ian come almost everywhere with me and when I didn't ask he seemed to catch on to my new paranoia and followed me around anyways. I was very thankful for how much Ian cared about me.
It seemed almost ridiculous to worry like I did. Kyle had been gone for weeks. Doc and Jared had made sure he left the night after the tribunal. Everyone had been scanning the desert for his attempted return or for seekers. They were all paranoid he would be caught and give us all up. In preparation, Jeb had been thinking up alternatives, should we have to relocate. I told them it was silly to put everyone in danger so I wouldn't have to be around Kyle. But they all ignored me when I argued with them. In the end I always lost anyways.
As we reached the door Ian stopped and turned to me. Still holding our hands together loosely in front of us.
"Wanda, I want you to know that no matter what that stick says I will be here for you. If it turns out you're pregnant. I will be there for you and the baby, as will Jared he has assured me. We're arguing over who will be the better 'father' for the child. I guess I'd be its uncle anyways." His face darkened. I squeezed his hand to shake the thought away. Ian would never get over what his brother did to me. "Anyways, I know this wouldn't be ideal but if it is the case, this child will be so loved and you will never be alone. But I want you to know you have other options. I was speaking with Doc and he said if you wish we could—" I stopped him there by raising a finger to his lips.
"Thank you so much Ian. I have no doubt you and Jared would be the best parents in the world." I smiled thinking of the way Jared treated Jamie and Ian's kindness. They would be wonderful 'fathers'. I continued, "But you know I could never kill an innocent child. It's not the baby's fault that it was conceived the way it was. But I suppose before we discuss this any further we should have a look at the test." I said reluctantly holding it up.
Ian nodded and led the way into his room. It was late afternoon and the light was beginning to dim although we were still able to see. Ian took the test from me and I followed him over to a spot where a beam of light came through the ceiling and brightened the floor. He used the sunlight to look at the test. I looked away, too nervous to see for myself.
"What's it say?" I asked hesitantly.
Ian smiled a bit and then engulfed me in a big hug. "Negative, Wanda, you're not pregnant." I was instantly relieved. I searched for Melanie's reaction and it was similar to my own. I was lingering on the thought of Ian being a dad, but knew it would be all too possible one day, if we chose to do it the right way. Ian seemed relieved as well as he loosened the hug. He gave me a kiss on the forehead.
"How do you feel?" He asked curiously.
"Relieved," I answered quite honestly.
He smiled. "Let's go tell Jared and Doc, you know they're probably dying to know the result." I agreed.
**
We approached the hospital where I was sure I would find Doc, and maybe Jared too if I was lucky. As we entered the room hand in hand I saw Doc sitting in his chair staring off into space and Jared sitting on a cot doing the same. They were clearly both waiting for us.
"Negative," I told them right away to ease the stressful environment. There were two sighs of relief. I was beginning to think Doc didn't really want to have to do an abortion and Jared was just scared shitless.
"Not surprised really." Doc said, which shocked us all. "It's rare for a women to get pregnant in rape cases, because of the adrenaline rush and the—well the roughness of the act, the possibility is lowered a great deal." He explained to our confused faces.
"You couldn't have told me that?" Jared whined. "Eased the worry a bit?" He continued.
"No Jared, I wanted you to be ready no matter the outcome. And I knew you were. I'm very proud of the way both you and Ian stepped up to the plate for Wanda." He smiled at them.
"Yeah, thanks you guys." I replied tears welling at their kindness. Jared got up to give me a firm hug. We were all very happy and relieved.
I suddenly felt a tap on my shoulder. I jumped and let out a scream at the same time.
"Sorry, sorry, sorry Wanda. Didn't mean to scare you." It was Jamie, followed by Jeb.
"Oh, it's just you. Sorry, a little jumpy these days." I explained. Jamie smiled and Jeb just gave me a hopeful face. Jamie wasn't so young to not know what was going on and I knew him and Jeb both wanted to know the results as well.
"Negative," I explained again. I flushed a little this time at all the people inquiring about my fertility.
Jamie instantly gave me a hug and never really let go. I looked over to Jeb.
"Well, uh, that's good I suppose." He said awkwardly.
"Yeah." There was a bit of an awkward silence and Jared cleared his throat.
"Well Wanda, maybe we should go get something to eat. You hungry?" He asked hopeful. I wasn't really but I jumped at any excuse to leave this room.
"Sure," I replied with a smile.
"Can I tag along?" Ian asked.
"Yeah, whatever." Jared replied.
"Me too!" Said Jamie excited. Jared gave him a stern look. "Homework Jamie? Sharon had a little chat with me about your math the other day. Multiplication isn't your strength is it kid?" He teased while being disciplinary at the same time. Jared was great with Jamie and this made me smile. Jamie frowned.
"Jeb I heard you're the math wiz. Measuring out all the caves, all those mirrors; you're a fricken genius. Me on the other hand, not so good with the math. Wanna help the kid with his homework please and make sure he's fed?"
"Sure, quality time with Jamie, that hasn't happened in a few years eh buddy?" He teased. Jeb understood that we wanted a little time together and was happy to help out.
I glanced over at Doc. "Jared found me a new medical book on his last raid. Where he gets these things I'll never know. Anyways I'm going to check it out, so I'll catch you guys later." He said making his was over to his desk.
"Bye," I replied with a smile and Jared, Ian and I started for the caves.
Jared led the way to the game room, which was far from the kitchen. I wondered why we were going this was but decided not to ask. Jared obviously wanted something. He stopped when we arrived and lit one candle by the door.
"Sit." He commanded. I did, and Ian joined me while Jared continued to fiddle with the candle. Ian reached out and stroked my face softly. He passed over the scar that was forming on my cheek from one of the times Kyle had struck it and frowned. I remembered the first time I saw myself in the mirrors a few days after the attack. My face wasn't pretty. I had a black eye and there were small cuts along with a gash on my cheek. My neck had deep purple handprints on it. My arms and legs were heavily bruised and I knew my stomach was bruised badly from the kick Kyle gave me after he had finished. I didn't need a mirror to see or feel that one. It had been a few weeks and I hoped I didn't look as bad. I knew the gash was turning to a scar.
"That makes me so sick." Ian said, his voice full of disgust.
"It's okay Ian," I said reassuringly.
"No it's not, Wanda," Jared said joining us on the floor. We made a lopsided triangle. Ian and Jared were both trying to sit close to me.
"Wanda, we hear you screaming in your sleep; every night from the nightmares. You wake crying or yelling. You think we don't hear, you try to relax and go back to sleep, but we hear you. Everyone in the hallway hears you Wanda. You're not okay. What Kyle did to you was not okay. You can't keep shaking it off."
I flushed. I was sure no one knew about my nightmares. I had no idea I was being so loud. It happened every night. Kyle attacked me over and over in my dreams. I always woke just before Ian and Jared arrived to help me, it was terrible. I felt my eyes welling from embarrassment. I felt Ian take one of my hands and Jared take the other.
"This isn't an intervention or anything Wanda, but Jared and I thought it would be best to talk to you. We don't have a shrink and Doc is reading up on psychology a bit. That's the book Jared managed to get. We don't really know how to help you and we feel terrible. We can't keep letting you live in fear and wake up screaming. Don't think we don't know what you're dreaming about," Ian explained. I was overwhelmed by their concern; this was all so much to take in.
"So we thought the best we could do was talk. Wanda, if you want to talk about what happened in that cave or about the dreams, what you're feeling, your worries or anything. Let it out, talk to us, we will listen and try to help." Jared said shifting closer to me still.
Their eyes bore into me. I sat in silence for a moment considering. What did I want, what did I need? Maybe talking about it would take away some burden; make me feel better. But it was so embarrassing; I didn't want to relive it. I didn't want them to know every detail of what happened. I didn't want to make them listen to every gruesome detail either.
I glanced at Ian then Jared. "I wouldn't mind sharing my story really, but I would never ask either of you to listen to everything. I don't want you to really know what happened, it's just one more thing for you to think about; to worry about. I would never do that to you." I explained.
"We want to know Wanda, it's okay." Ian insisted. I considered his answer, then looked over at Jared. He gave an encouraging smile. I hesitated.
"Wanda, it's alright. If this would make you feel better, go ahead. It would help us understand better too." Jared insisted.
I let out a deep breath and nodded. "It started while I was in the bath. I was scrubbing my cloths clean and trying to wash up. I had just finished when I heard someone enter. They said 'knock knock' and right away I recognized the voice. I assumed it was Ian. Your voices are very similar." I explained. He looked wary and nodded. "Then Kyle corrected me and said something about getting this over with before Ian wakes up. I wasn't sure what he was talking about. But I was frightened; I knew I should be frightened. That's when Melanie tried to help me out." I smiled slightly at the memory, and then looked over at Jared who had a proud expression on his face. "She was telling me to grab a rock, or something to defend myself with…anything…she showed me mental pictures of how to use it and then realized that I never could. That's the last I remember Melanie being around. As soon as Kyle started to approach, she was gone. For the best I think. I'm glad she didn't have to go through that with me."
"I wish I could have been there for you," Melanie sympathized.
"No, it's better that you weren't," I replied. She seemed to accept this and faded away again. She didn't want to hear the story aloud as much as I wanted to. The difference was she didn't really have to if she didn't want to. I did.
I continued. "Kyle approached me and I was cornered, I backed myself into a wall. It was so stupid."
"It wasn't stupid, never say that. Nothing you did was stupid or your fault. It wouldn't of mattered where you were Kyle would have caught up with you. He's stronger and bigger than you. You didn't stand a chance, Wanda." Jared stated grimly.
I nodded. I was about to start again and thought about what followed. "How much of this do you want to hear?" I asked thinking of the different ways Kyle had used me.
They hesitated. "As much as you want to tell?" Ian responded.
"I have no problem sharing, it's whatever you're comfortable with." I replied.
"In some ways I want to know everything, so whenever I think of Kyle I'll have to urge to kill him. Thinking of the terrible things he did to you. But in another way I don't want to know. I don't want to have the image in my head, to think of you being harmed that way. It would almost be too much to bear Wanda." Jared said clearly torn. His jaw was clenched and it seemed to me he was thinking of his own version of my story.
"Yes or no Ian?"
"I want to know what he did, so when you wake screaming I will know what you're crying over. I'll know where in the nightmare you are and I'll be able to understand you better in your hysterical moments," he replied, eyes scorching.
I nodded and began to tell them the details of what happened between Kyle and I. Every last touch, everything he mumbled. The shock of how unbelievable painful the experience was. More so than I could ever imagine how humiliating it was. How I had tried to push him off of me but he was too strong. How I pleaded with him to stop but he would not. Right down to the minute when my two angels walked through the door to save me.
"I had never been so happy to see you two in my life. Even you Jared." I explained. Tears still running down my face. I had had to stop a few times to control myself as I remembered everything and told it. Ian had to hold me a few times. They waited patiently as composed myself and began again. I tried not to steel lances at their faces because the anger there scared me a bit. But they never interrupted me unless to reassure me and encourage me to keep going.
When I was finished, I glanced up, unable to take the suspense anymore.
Their faces were identical, twisted masks of rage and hatred. But when I looked up and met their eyes they changed to complete sympathy in a flash. Jared reached over to wipe away my tears and Ian began rubbing my arm.
"I'm so sorry Wanda." Ian said.
They both hugged me tightly at the same time.
"Nothing like this will ever happen to you again. I don't care if I never leave your side. No one will hurt you. I pity the next person who so much as looks at you the wrong way." Jared promised.
"How anyone in these caves could still hate you is beyond me. They have no idea what you've been through. They don't know that you are the most non-violent being in the world. It's ridiculous," Ian insisted.
"Thank you both for listening." I actually felt better. Lighter, like a burden had been lifted. It was now shared with some of the two most important people in my life. I knew that I could live, that I could move past this. I knew everything would be all right because they were here with me. Ian and Jared would help me through anything. They were the two best friends anyone could ever ask for. I wouldn't want any other men in my life.
"Thank you for sharing, so we could understand you better Wanda," Ian said kindly. We sat there for a few long minutes, they both hugged me and I cried a bit. But when we were finished I felt so much better.
"I'm tired guys, I think I'm just going to go to bed if you don't mind." I said.
"You don't want anything to eat?" Jared asked worried.
"No, I'm not hungry really, I just want to go to bed." I smiled to reassure him.
"Alright well I'm starving so Jared and I will quickly eat and we'll turn in too." Ian replied kindly. We got up and Ian walked over to me. He brushed my face with his hand, pushing the hair back.
He gave me a kiss on the forehead and I smiled up at him.
They both walked me to my room, naturally, and went off to eat. I was still a little afraid to be by myself but even that was getting better. In felt safer knowing someone else understood, someone else knew. And now more than ever I was reassured that Kyle couldn't hurt me again. I drifted to sleep and for the first time in three weeks I didn't have a nightmare. I didn't relive that awful day in my sleep. I slept soundly for 9 hours and when I awoke it was like being reborn. I'd never felt better.
The End
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