Lost
By
JacqueLoveLess
Chapter I
Can I call this home? Can this hate, this spite really be a home? Can this be a home? As the bruises collect and the pain refuse to dull, can this be a home? It's all I've ever known. But a home? Can being alone be what it's about? Is it really the way it's supposed to be? I don't think so. Because in a home they see the good and accept the bad. In a home they love you, and defend you. But I have no one like that, so I suppose, this isn't a home. Just a place to run to when there is panic of the idea of being alone.
So I'll let this mask slip away and I'll be me. Because that's what they see, they see the demon in me. So it's not worth it. So, this mask is gone and I really don't care anymore. Because this is not my home. This is not my safe place, this is my hell. So, let is all come down and never say 'give'. Because I am who I am, and I'm sick of it all, because Konoha is not my home, it is not my family, nor my safety. Because there is no one. So I'm letting go just like the rain.
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"Sasuke-kun!" the loud screech is equal to nails on a chalkboard. I have nothing against Sakura, just that she's a little… useless to me. Sure she's good at remembering and charka control, but she's not the best at anything else. She might be a good medical nin is she could get over her problem of seeing people dieing. She's not the best in a crisis. "Sasuke-kun! After training you and I could go eat somewhere." She babbled on. I notice the Uchiha look my way, probably waiting for me to say that I'd go to eat with Sakura. I noticed the slight lift in his eyebrows when I said nothing but continued to lean against the railing on the old wooden bridge, staring out at the water that filled the small river under it.
We were waiting, as usual, for Kakashi-sensei. And , as usual, Sakura yelled about Kakashi-sensei being late and fawning over Sasuke. Normally I would join her in yelling about Kakashi-sensei, but today, I really don't feel like it.
I looked over as Sakura, having been rejected by Sasuke, began ranting about Kakashi-sensei.
"He's never here on time!" She yelled, her arms waving around with her hands clenched into fists. "He always tells us to be here on time, yet he's never here on time! Then he goes on with his lame excuse 'Sorry, I got lost on the road of life'. What kind of excuse is that?" She continued but I just continued to lean on my arms against the railing, staring off, trying to tune her out. I wished training would start soon, so I could go back to my apartment and go back to bed… well, after I go grocery shopping first. I had hardly enough food for breakfast this morning…
"Sakura. Please, keep it down. People are staring and I have a headache…" I muttered softly.
" 'Keep it down'?" She repeated it as if I had asked her to jump off a cliff. " 'Keep it down?" She practically screeched. These were one of the times when I'd wished I'd just kept my mouth shut. "Why should I! You have no right to tell me to keep it down, because your like this every day! So, shut up!" She yelled, her voice cutting through my headache and lodging the throbbing loudness into the center of my head.
"Sakura." I watched as the pink haired girl whipped around at our sensei's voice. Sasuke and I adjusted ourselves to look over at the end of the bridge where not only our sensei was standing, but Gai, Kurenai, Asuma, and their teams stood, witnessing Sakura yell at me. "That's not how we treat our teammates. Apologize to Naruto. All he did was as you politely to be quiet. "
"B-but he!" Sakura stuttered he mouth opening and closing like a suffocating fish on land.
"It's no big deal." I muttered. "What are we doing today?" I asked, letting my eyes drift over the teams who stood at the base of the bridge with our sensei.
Kakashi paused for a second, probably considering whether or not to make Sakura apologize anyway, before he began talking.
"Today we'll be having joint training. We'll be testing our strengths against each other and help critic so basic stuff."
"So pretty much we're all showing off." Sasuke put in.
"Yup." Kakashi said with a close eyed smile.
"Okay. Which training ground are we going to?" I asked.
"The far west one, so we might as well head out now."
We began walking and conversation picked up. Gai and Kakashi were talking and Kurenai and Asuma were talking while TenTen and Neji, mostly TenTen, began talking. Rock Lee was bouncing around and trying to talk to Sakura while Sakura ignored him as she argued with Ino. I didn't even notice Kiba until he had managed to slide up next to me.
"So. Uzumaki. What's up with the clothing? Where's your obnoxious orange?" He asked. This wasn't a surprise. I had been expecting this since I put on my clothes this morning. I glanced around and noticed that it wasn't only Kiba who wanted to know, but almost every eye was on Kiba and me.
"All my orange clothing was dirty. I have to do laundry tonight." I muttered. It was true. I had ran out of clean clothes before I even noticed. So I had resorted to using my 'stealth clothing'. I glanced down at the clothing I was wearing. My black shoes encased my feet and ankles. I had to wrap my legs in bandages because at our last training session we went through knew high thorns and of course I was all cut up. So the white medical bandages disappeared under black ninja pants that reach to the middle of my shin. My black chain net shirt was covered with a short sleeve shirt. I wore a pair of hand protectors, though the Konoha symbol was absent. I had stopped wearing my forehead protector about a week ago and my hair wasn't very spiky any more.
"Whatever." Kiba muttered clearly disappointed in my answer.
"Okay! We're here! Separate and stretch." Kakashi said simply.
So began the day.