Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Author's Note: It's nice to see people enjoying the madness. For this one, I'm sorry. Thanks for the reviews!
"You're still walking like a guy!"
"That's cause I am a guy!"
Scott flopped down on the chair next to Logan crossed his arms, with difficulty. He then gave up and put his arms on his lap.
"This is as disaster," he said clasping his hands together, "we've got one day to be looking and acting like real woman and so far we're no where."
"That's not true, you got the whole looking like women thing down." Said Bobby who had not taken his eyes off the now female Remy who in turn had not stopped looking at himself in the mirror.
"When are we goin' t'get clothes?" he said turning round to look at himself from another angle.
"You can't get clothes until you can walk like a woman," said Warren wearily, "we can't have you going down to the shopping centre swaggering."
"Women swagger," said Logan pulling a cigar out of his pocket, "sometimes."
Warren walked over and took the cigar out of his hand, "if you have to smoke something make it cigarettes, woman don't smoke cigars."
"Since when did you become the expert on all things female?" asked Logan also attempting to cross his arms and failing.
"I know a lot about women," he said grinning, "I have known a lot of women."
"Let's get back to the point shall we," said Scott quickly cutting in before Logan could reply back, he sighed and stood up, "Lets try the walking thing again."
He started to take a few hesitant steps forward.
"Hips Scott. Move your hips."
He did so.
"No, no, no. Too much. More subtle. That's better, straighten your back chin up. There we are, that's much better."
"Right," said Scott who had finally made it across the room, "You're turn Logan."
Logan raised an eyebrow.
"Aint gonna happen. I'm gonna walk the way I always walk. No amount of coachin' is gonna change that."
"Fine," said Scott, "As long as me and Remy can do it, it should be fine. Remy?"
Remy finally pulled himself away from the mirror and smiled.
He walked across the room.
"That, that was, uh. That was perfect. Where did you learn to walk like that."
"I've known a lot of women." said Remy now examining his nails.
"Well then, I think it's time we went shopping then."
"It doesn't fit."
"Let me see."
"No, I'm not coming out, it just doesn't fit."
"Scott- I mean Sandra, just let me see."
Scott came out wearing the dress. It came down to just above his knee with a floral pattern on it. However the zip at the side did not go all the way up. Warren smiled and said, "I'm sure they have it in a bigger size."
"I don't want to wear a dress," said Scott angrily.
"Is everything alright?" asked the assistant coming into the changing rooms, "Oh that looks lovely on you. Would you like me to go and see if they have it in another size?"
"No. Thank you."
"Oh come now darling," said Warren grinning, "It looks lovely. We would love to try it in another size."
The attendant smiled and left. Scott stared at Warren.
"You're enjoying this."
"Oh yes. And no more arguing, remember who is paying for this."
"I sure as hell don't know who's paying for this but someone is." said Logan.
He was wearing a black Skirt suit with flat black shoes. It would be fair to say that it did nothing except enhance his 'butch' qualities. Pitor looked mildly shell-shocked behind him.
"Have you finished?" asked Warren looking at the many bags Pitor was carrying.
Pitor nodded quickly.
"Suits ya Sandra."
"Kiss my ass Lorraine."
"Wow, you must be really pissed off." Said Logan grinning, "can't blame you though. How do girls do it? I hate shopping. You've got to try everything on and it all comes in sets. Like if you buy that skirt you just have to get that top too. And then you got to go to the shoe shop to get the matching shoes. And don't get me started on the underwear-"
"Really. Don't." said Pitor with that same horrified expression.
"I mean. How was I supposed to know you're mean to keep your top on when they measure you-"
"Please stop Logan," said Warren quickly.
"Any sign of Rem- uh, Rochelle and Bobby?" asked Scott before Logan could continue anymore.
"The last we saw them they were heading for another shoe shop. Rochelle's uh, she's uh, really getting in to this. Isn't, she."
"Yeah. Well, it wasn't the week we had planned but I guess she's just going to make the most of it no matter what-"
"Hey guys." said Bobby.
Or at least it sounded like Bobby. They couldn't tell because he was obscured by a mountain of bags and boxes.
"Hey, where's Remy-Rochelle?"
"Just coming. He, uh, She got sidetracked by some jewellery." said Bobby putting down some of the bags and boxes.
"How much as she spent?!" said Warren standing up angrily.
"Oh don' worry Warren. I was jus' lookin'," said Remy walking into the changing rooms.
He was sporting a rather small black dress which accentuated all of his curves and 'assets', and a pair of strappy black high heeled sandals to much. The ensemble looked so good on him that the others had to remind themselves that it was actually Remy.
"I look good eh?" Remy said, grinning at their reaction and giving a twirl.
As he'd finished his twirl and Pitor had shut Bobby's mouth for him (clearly shopping all afternoon had not helped Bobby) the assistant returned with the bigger dress for Scott. She stopped and looked around at them all.
"Uh, I brought that dress for you." she said, passing it to Scott.
"Thank you," he said trying to mean it.
"Are you uh, all together?" she asked.
"Yes," said Warren, "we're all going to a party this evening."
"Oh, that's nice. You uh, don't get many couples that all, uh, shop, together."
"Oh we love shopping together," said Remy smiling at her and putting his arm through Bobby's.
"More opinions are better." said Bobby weakly.
"Well, uh, that's nice. If you need anything else, I'm just through there."
The assistant left quickly.
"I t'ink we scared her off." said Remy turning to the others.
"I'm not surprised, I'm rather unnerved myself." said a voice from behind one of the curtains.
The curtain pulled back.
"Oh dear, oh dear. What on earth are you all up to?" asked Emma Frost.