FALLEN ANGEL: FINAL PART

In the wake of the plague

Ianto adjusted his tie for the umpteenth time. It just wouldn't sit right. Jack had watched for almost ten minutes from the bathroom door and eventually found the process too torturous to observe so he stepped forward and reached around Ianto and grasped his hands pulling Ianto's back into his chest in a firm embrace and resting his chin on Ianto's shoulder. They looked at each other through the reflection in the mirror. Ianto still looked too thin, but he was a healthier colour these days and the black circles under the young man's beautiful blues were fading to grey at long last. Ianto was obviously more than a little nervous.

"It's fine." Jack assured him. "You look fine, stop fretting."

Ianto closed his eyes relishing the comfort. "Sorry..I'm just...."

"Nervous, I know. It's just work Ianto. Something you've done for a long time. There is nothing to worry about."

He could feel Jack's breath against his ear, could smell that sweet, spicy scent he knew so well. "I just..."

"Ssshh. We've been over this. The others are looking forward to having you back and if I deprive Owen of proper coffee for much longer I'm going to have industrial action to deal with as well as all the paperwork."

Eventually Ianto nodded squeezing Jack's fingers that were entwined with his own. "I guess we better get going then."

Jack had advised the team that Ianto would be restarting work that morning so Tosh, Gwen and even Owen had made a special effort to be in early to greet their youngest colleague when he arrived. It had been a long battle trying to get Ianto to function, let alone back at work. Owen had been the one to finally convince him, having awarded him a clean bill of health (Well almost) he had insisted that Ianto put the sorry mess behind him and move on. Ianto had begged to be retconned and Owen had flat out refused reasoning that the trauma symptoms wouldn't dissipate just because of a few well placed pills. Retcon was not a miracle cure for his woes, it would mean Retconning back 5 years so that everything was lost. That was not an option because the team didn't want to lose him. More accurately Jack would've cut his balls off if he'd done that. It had surprised Owen 3 months ago when Jack suggested the memory wipe in the first place. Owen was thankful for the human body's capacity to heal and his own faith in Ianto, the lad was much stronger than they all (except Owen) assumed. It hadn't been an easy road though. Slowly Ianto began to trust himself around his colleagues when they had visited him at home, but he would never allow himself to be left alone with any one of them except Jack. He was especially edgy around Tosh and constantly apologetic toward her.

Today would be his first day back inside the Hub for almost 6 months. Owen was half wondering if he'd even make through the door. However he had every confidence in Jack's methods of persuasion.

Ianto hesitated at the Tourist Office door, very reluctant to take that step. He glanced at Jack for guidance and he just fired him one of his dazzling grins. Reassured Ianto opened the door and hesitated, taking in the mess before him. He rolled his eyes and stepped forward to inspect his neglected territory.

"I see the house keeping hasn't improved then."

Jack closed the door behind then and rubbed his hands together. "I could help you dust it down later..."

"I'm sure you could." Ianto responded dryly. He sucked in a breath and leaned over the counter and hit the button to let them in. "I bet it's even worse downstairs isn't it."

Jack smiled. "You wound me, sir. Shall we?"

Ianto stopped. "I'm not ready for this Jack."

He felt Jack's warm hand engulf his, gently squeezing. "I'm right with, you'll be fine."

They exchanged faint smiles and Ianto lead the way down into the Hub.

Tosh and Gwen both had to restrain themselves. Ianto took being cuddled and fussed with good grace and thankfully Owen only grabbed his hand briefly and patted his back steering him in the direction of the beloved coffee machine. Ianto froze in the doorway to the kitchenette, remembering vividly what had transpired there, but Owen gently urged him forwards.

"You can do this Ianto, I need coffee, lots of coffee none of that Tar that Jack makes, or cat pee that Gwen that comes up with or the tea... ugh... green fucking tea.... that Tosh makes. C.O.F.F.E.E. Need it now." He kept his voice light and hung about in the doorway as Ianto set about doing the honours. Ten minutes later and he was handing out their drinks like he'd never been away.

Ianto hesitantly tapped on the door to Sister Elizabeth's temporary quarters, on hearing her 'come in'. He stepped through the door, careful to leave it open behind him so as not to frighten her. Elizabeth was rising to her feet as he stepped into the room. Ianto had wanted Jack to come down here with him, but Jack had told him that he needed to do this alone. Unbeknown Ianto Jack was watching on the CCTV feed from his office computer. Ianto held out a mug of tea toward her.

"I thought you might like some tea." His voice trembling with apprehension. To his astonishment she confidently stepped forward and took it with a warm smile that graced her face.

"Thank you Ianto, please come in and talk to me."

Reluctantly Ianto complied and he sat on the very edge of her neatly made bed whilst she took the chair opposite, one hand resting on her distended abdomen. Ianto looked down at his hands, unable to face her directly.

"It's alright Ianto. I'm not mad at you in any way. I never was." She assured him before sipping on her tea. "Good tea, thank you."

"I'm sorry, about what happened, what I did." He mumbled.

"I know. Look at it this way. A new life, a baby will be born soon. That's a good thing."

"That's what Jack said. It doesn't feel like it though." His feet were suddenly very interesting.

"Ianto, please look at me." Elizabeth was gentle, but her tone was insistent.

"I'm too ashamed to."

"Are you afraid you'll see anger in my eyes?"

Ianto shook his head.

"Then what is it?"

"I...I'm afraid I'll see forgiveness that I don't deserve."

Elizabeth put her mug to the floor and outstretched both her hands to him. "I would get up but it's a bit hard, come here....please come here."

Hesitantly Ianto edged forwards wholly aware of where his hands had bruised her months before. He grasped her warm fingers and she pulled his hands to rest them against her baby bulge. He could feel the movement under his hands and somehow he managed to meet her eyes, there was only love there.

"That is our son, he kicks like I don't know what...You must forgive yourself for his sake, and he will need your love."

"But I..."

"It doesn't matter Ianto...none of it does. If you can love this child and forgive yourself then that demon has truly lost. I know you are a good person, you would not be suffering otherwise, but it has to end now for both your sakes."

Ianto looked back at his hands and nodded slowly. "I understand." Tears ran down his face and Elizabeth gently fussed with his hair and wiped them away on the sleeve of his habit.

"Good, now how about we think of some names for this little fellow before he comes out."

AN: I leave it up to you all to decide about whether or not you think Ianto should keep the baby!!! Thank you for reading and for the many encouraging and kind reviews....Deeta