Chapter Nine: Christmas Blues-part one

"Thoughts is subversive and revolutionary, destructive and terrible; thought is merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habit. "

--Bertrand Russell

Pansy stormed into the common room, angry was an understatement compared to how she was feeling at that moment. She slammed the door and sank down sobbing, so this is what it felt like to be backstabbed. How could he do this to her? She thought. Even after she confronted him about seeing Granger, he denied it by lying to her face. Just when she was accepting the fact that he didn't love her, Granger happens. She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned around to see Harry Potter eyeing her with concern. She looked into those famous green eyes, her vision clouding once more as she covered her face with her face, her body shaking with sobs.

"Pansy," he said softly. He placed his arms on her shoulders and helped her up. "What happened?" She deliberated on whether to tell him what she witnessed, he'd uncover the truth either way.

"It's not fair," she started.

"What's not fair?" he said softly. "Hey, look at me," She looked up and he was met with her exotic eyes, Wow, they are beautiful he thought but now, they were clouded with pain and anxiety.

"I just saw Granger and Draco together," she said her voice breaking in the process.

"Together? What do you mean together?" Harry asked, on the verge of having a panic attack, though he knew exactly what she meant. "When?" he added after pausing for a god minute hoping she'd add a 'just kidding' at the end. It couldn't be true Hermione and Malfoy? Not in a million years he thought.

"Just now," she replied. "Why does it matter? The point is it happened, I knew he was up to something," Harry looked at Pansy and was startled as he felt her arms being wrapped around him; he returned the hug cautiously signaling his support. She slowly withdrew, their faces inches apart, everything completely still. He was stunned by her magnetic eyes, it was hazy as to who leaned in first but the moment he felt Pansy's lips, fire met ice, and all the rational thoughts floating around in his head were gone and replaced by pure physical desire. He knew he was potentially committing the biggest mistake of his life but at that moment it didn't matter. Pansy deepened the kiss by running her hands to the back of his head. Harry pushed her against the wall and she felt the cool surface on her back, he ravished her, his hands traveled up her thighs and in one fell swoop lifted her off the ground, making her gasp in surprise and gaining better access inside her mouth. His lips clambered down her neck and Pansy let out a moan which only encouraged Harry to continue. His lips crushed against hers once more, Pansy was overwhelmed by his passion she'd never imagined Potter had it in him. Just as Pansy started to unbutton his shirt, Harry suddenly backed away his eyes glistening with newly formed tears. Before Pansy could stop him, he left towards his room and collapsed on his bed. What just happened? He thought. Flashes of the sin he'd committed passed through his head ending with Ginny's face. He closed his eyes hoping to forget the pain. Memories of their relationships passed through his head starting from the first time he'd asked her out to when he confessed his love for her last week. He got up unable to face the reality of the situation: he was a terrible person. How could he betray her? He leaned forward, elbows on knees, hands on forehead and started crying.

Pansy was confused, to say the least. It took her a full ten minutes after Harry left to grasp the gravity of the situation. She'd just snogged Harry Potter. She could see it now, once word got out that "Parkinson stole Potter from Weasley" her already blemished reputation would take a turn for the worse. Through the years, Pansy was known to be easy shag, nothing more. Given, she did make numerous blunders during her early teen years, especially in the boy's department but she'd grown out of that phase and like any teenage girl, wanted a stable relationship. Maybe that's why she envied Granger, who still had her dignity and everyone took her seriously, unlike hers, Granger's opinion mattered.

Other than Draco, Harry was the first man in her life that treated her like a girl and not a sex toy. He listened to her patiently, gave rather useful advice without the sugar-coated sympathy and confronted her when she did something wrong though she'd been tormenting him for the past six years. She stared at the letter on her desk and wasn't sure if she wanted to risk what she had with him. The letter also informed her of her engagement with Draco in the following year, she sighed that was questionable now. Until today, she was ready to marry Draco though he didn't love her hoping if they lived together his feelings would change but now, she felt like she has something to look forward to.

Order was integral part of Hermione Grangers life, from her neatly arranged closet to the alphabetically organized book case by her bedside, no wonder she followed directions extremely well. A neat set of conditions one needed to follow to complete a task at hand, who could ask for more? She loved following a daily routine and often became frustrated when it was disturbed. The day Draco Malfoy walked into her life, the word order ceased to exist and Hermione's perfect world was replaced with chaos. According to her, chaos wasn't always a bad thing she was intrigued in the beginning and this motivated her to play along with Malfoy's silly game, to let him dominate over her and snog her senseless. Now, things have changed, they've taken a turn for the worse. Now, it wasn't silly anymore and as she sat on her desk observing her messy closet which surprisingly accurately portrayed the state of things at the moment she felt nostalgic. As she started to pick up the clothes spread out on the floor of the closet she wanted order to return. Hermione realized chaos was a dangerous thing, it engulfs your life and before you know it, things start to get complicated and solutions involve betrayals and soon find yourself caught up in a web of lies.

She took out a scrap piece of parchment and quill making an attempt to work with whatever "order" she had left neatly splitting the piece into two even sections. She marked one side with a '+' and the other '-'. It took her a while to think of the positives coming out of this and an even longer time to admit it, but in the end wrote Got to snog the Slytherin Prince' She made a mental note to discard this parchment immediately afterwards. After seriously considering ripping the piece to shreds, she moved onto the negatives not having a problem figuring this part out. Pansy saw us, succumbing to an arrogant son of a bitch, might affect her friendship with Ron and Harry. She was quite proud of what she's accomplished and the negatives clearly outweighed the opinionated positive. Hermione spent the next hour trying cleaning her closet and vowing to get order back into her life.

Hermione sat down; exhausted. She'd organized her closet and admired her color-coordinated outfits next to her neat, iron pressed uniform eschew of any wrinkles. She used her wand to organize her textbooks that were spread out decrepitly on her desk, making sure there were alphabetized. Just when order was slowly starting to creep back into Hermione Granger's life, chaos came-a-knocking in the form of an owl impatiently tapping on her window. Hermione opened the window and it dropped the note and immediately left though she offered water. She opened the note and noticed the neat, cursive writing immediately, it was from Draco Malfoy.

Don't forget, Astronomy Tower tomorrow night.

--D.M.

Before contemplating on whether to go, she was first bothered by the ambiguity of his message. Define night, she thought closing her eyes for a moment, silently promising herself to use this opportunity as a closure, but in the back of her mind she feared that chaos was back for revenge.

He knew Pansy was hurt but he also knew she was extremely stubborn and wouldn't talk to him so running after her would've been futile. He was alone in the relatively empty Slytherin common excluding a small group of first years. Christmas was the only time of year when it wasn't swamped and Draco couldn't be happier. His life was a mess, Pansy caught him with Granger, fraternizing with Potter, His father fabricated the rest of his life and the N.E.W.T.S were less than three months away. Everything was just peachy-keen. Oh, he forgot, Voldemort was building an army. He grabbed his broom and left the common room feeling claustrophobic and was in desperate need of fresh air. Flying usually helped clear his head but today even that was delusive. He'd managed to decide on one thing, Granger had to be out of his life no matter what if he wanted any chance of enjoying his last few months at Hogwarts.
Good, Bad? Tell me! I'll try to update while I'm away…I know this is a short chapter, soorry :( but i tried. If i continued, it probably would've left you guys with another cliffhanger...

Next chapter: Christmas Blues part two..tehehe no more clues :P

take care