Drowning in Spite
Summery: The summer of fifth year—the days of developing, growing and adventure of the teenage experience. But what happens when your innocence is abruptly taken from you? With no heart, no conscious and absolutely no one to hear your cries—what are you to do? Draco Malfoy finds out the hard way, after being introduced to the most secretive Malfoy tradition ever known. And the only person there to hold his bleeding heart is the last person he could ever want to see. Come; read this story as all the characters go through riveting experiences concerning the coming of age, sexual preference/exploration and the meaning of life.
Disclaimer: Sorry, but I don't own any of the characters.
Warning: This is a very Dark fic. Please DO NOT READ if you are offended by ANY of this. Expect the unexpected (not really but whatever, lol!)
A/N: PLEASE READ THIS!
Oi! I just wanted to say thanks to all the lovely reviews from amazing reviewers. Please believe me when I say that they were excellent, and touched me deeply. You guys rock! And I'm not saying it in a general-sort-of-way. I absolutely mean it! Keep them coming! .
Well everyone, this is going to be a short chapter! It is shorter than the others, if you think about it. You will find that this chapter is extremely important. It is the break of relationships/ones sanity.
Chapter Four: Class One Basketcase (title inspired/taken from iluvdanrad's comment for chapter three. loved it!)
Draco snored loudly as he laid tangled in the hospital wings sheets. He didn't hear as Hermione Granger slipped him her recent notes under his arm as he continued his mid-afternoon nap. She tried to straighten out his hair before leaving, making a quick note of the bruise pulsating behind his neck. She stared at it intensively, noticing that he had used a bad concealment charm on it, before leaving the Infirmary.
Malfoy,
Again I'm leaving you notes from class.
Please take into consideration the difficulty of each course you signed up for.
I would hate it if McGonagall blamed me for your lack of responsibility.
-Hermione Granger.
Draco stared blankly at Hermione's curly handwriting before balling it up and tossing it aside. He flipped through Granger's intense notes and he also balled those parchments up, tossing them to the side of his bed.
He wasn't a fool. If his Father ever found out what was going on with his schoolwork that involved Granger, he would be locked in the basement for a whole summer without food or water. Draco lifted his musky smelling school books, frowning at the way Granger had handled his books so carelessly. Draco looked up as he saw Madame Pomfrey bustling towards him, wand out.
"Mr. Malfoy, how are you feeling? I see you've gotten some of your arm strength back," said Madame Pomfrey, tapping her wand on his arm, smiling. Draco scowled and moved his arm from her wand.
"Don't touch me! How dare you…"
"Now calm down Mr. Malfoy! You still haven't regained the physical strength I would have thought you to have by this time. It's been nearly three weeks." Confusion spread across her aging face, her locks of silver hair was tied tightly in a bun, making her look severe and professional. Draco watched her as she lifted her wand and levitated the notes he had just thrown to the side of the bed. "Well won't you need these Mr. Malfoy? They're extremely important…it looks like Miss. Granger has put in a lot of her time—"
"I don't need help from the stupid mud—" Draco's tongue immediately stuck to the roof of his mouth, making it impossible for him to finish his insult. He looked around wildly; pass Madame Pomfrey's angry face to the tall, dark wizard that framed the infirmary's doorway. Harry Potter.
"Shut it Malfoy! You shouldn't be talking about the only person who's showing you any real feelings at this school. Where have your Slytherin pals been, eh?" Harry spat, walking towards Madame Pomfrey. She waved her wand over Draco, ending the spell Harry had used against him.
"ENOUGH! I won't have any wand fighting in here! And shame on you Mr. Malfoy for using such vile language!" Madame Pomfrey turned to talk to Harry, who beckoned for her to come farther away from Draco to talk.
Draco's temper rose as he watched Harry sheepishly smile at Pomfrey, and she patted him lovingly on the shoulder. They all treat him like he's gold, that stupid Potter…
A few months later…
Draco cleared his throat from the grim that came up through his chest. He sniffed up the snot that was quickly spilling from out of his nose and looked around at the Great Hall for any signs of life.
It was a few days after Christmas, and his Father had decided to send him back to Hogwarts, explaining that he had "business" to take care of and their "teachings" would have to be put on hold until the summer. Draco cringed. He was sicker than ever, in addition to the flu he had contracted at home. It was one reason why his Father had sent him back so early—he didn't want to catch what Draco had, and didn't want to be bothered brewing him anything to fix it. His mother had disappeared for the holidays, deciding to travel to Manchester to visit some of her relatives. It was just him and his father, alone for two whole weeks.
Draco dropped his trunk in the corridor with a loud bang and sat on top of it. He had no magical assistance from anyone because he came back so early, and he couldn't perform any spell right because of his clouded nostrils and wheezing voice. He tried levitating his trunk, and ended up spraying water from the tip of his wand. And to make matters worse, Peeves the Poltergeist decided to come by and dump icy cold water on top of Draco's head.
So, here sat a very cold and very sick boy, trying to figure out what his next motive would be. He dug in his pocket to retrieve his wand once more and tried to dry himself off. Draco successfully set fire to his traveling cloak. He yelled, pulling it off of him and tossing it aside. He immediately jumped from off of his trunk to stamp out the fire. This caused him to cough up more of his cold, and he sighed, his breathing becoming stressed and heavy. He looked around the hall once more, and realized a figure was walking swiftly towards him. He needed all the help he would get.
Hermione Granger was patrolling alone. Her face gleamed with satisfaction as she carried a long list of logs for students who had had house points taken away from them. She stopped in her tracks as she saw Draco, drenched and hunched over in a pool of water.
"Malfoy, what are you doing?" Hermione asked. She waved her wand over him and the mess, drying it up immediately.
"I didn't—ask—for—your—help—mudblood!" Draco wheezed, spitting cold out so it landed in front of her shoe. She recoiled in disgust, and stepped around it.
"It's impolite to spit at a lady, Malfoy. Didn't your mum ever teach you that?" Hermione asked calmly but watching him cautiously.
"My mum would be proud if it had landed on your ugly face. And you're no bloody lady," Draco sneered, snatching up the handle of his trunk and dragging it away from Hermione. He slipped in his own spit and ended up toppling over his trunk and landing on the floor beside it.
"Sitting in your own filth, I see? You speak like the true scum you are Malfoy…" Hermione drawled, walking away from him. She added his name onto the list of logs, shouting over her shoulder as a flash of blue light whizzed pass her fluffy head—
"Ten points from Slytherin for trying to attack a Prefect. Happy New Year Malfoy…"
Draco lowered his wand, swearing loudly as the spell he intended for her exploded against the opposite wall.
"Are you off your rocker!" Blaise Zabini had appeared next to Draco, his face contorted with anger. He looked out of breath, as if he was running after Granger all this time.
"Are you going to help me up? Or leave me down here Zabini?" Draco shouted at him. Blaise growled.
"You tried to hex Hermione! Why don't you just bugger off Draco? Leave her be?" Blaise asked, pulling Draco up.
"The little tyrant harassed me FIRST!" Draco declared, pulling at his trunk once again. "And it's not like I could hex her anyways. The wrong spell hit that wall. I can't say an incantation clearly." Blaise levitated his trunk for him, walking away with Draco and occasionally looking over his shoulder to see if Hermione was there. "So, are you dating the mudblood now?" Draco asked darkly, watching Blaise from out of the corner of his eyes.
"Don't call her a mudblood, and no, we're not dating yet. She just said shewants to take it slow. She's really enjoying the bonds we have made over the summer, and she doesn't want to rush into a relationship without a foundation…of course I agree with her." Draco huffed, crossing his arms and coughed up cold. He took out a handkerchief and spat in it.
"Shut the fuck up Zabini," Draco wheezed, "You know you want to use that filthy creature for your own selfish needs."
"I actually like her Draco…I…I think I love her." Blaise stopped to face Draco, who also stopped, staring daggers at him.
"What?" Draco asked flatly. His blood was boiling in his veins now.
"But, of course she doesn't feel the same. She just got over Weasley. I reckon I can't expect too much from her?" Blaise asked airily, continuing his journey to the tower. Draco caught up with him.
"Are you trying to kill me Blaise? Because this bit of information is deadly."
"Oh! Finally you say my name!"
"I'm worried about you…that mudbloods gotten to you!" Draco shouted.
"She is under my skin and I can't complain."
"You don't even sound like yourself anymore," Draco said sadly wiping his nose against the soaked handkerchief. Blaise's well crafted eyebrows shot up.
"And you Draco? You haven't been right since school started! It's like you've been walking around with a stick shoved up your ass!" Blaise snapped back. Draco finally lost it. He grabbed Blaise by his white polo and slammed him against the wall.
"BLOOD TRAITOR!" Draco punched him across the face. "BACKSTABBER!" He slammed his head against the wall, and Blaise slid to the floor, staring up at Draco in complete and utter shock. Draco took a shattering gasp and pulled out his wand, pointing it directly at Blaise's face. "FILTHY ANIMAL…" He was about to hex him, when his wand flew out of his hand, and he heard the shattering cry of a girl. He turned to see Pansy holding his wand and her own in her hands.
"YOU BLOODY COWARD!" Screamed Pansy, tears flowed freely down her face. She dropped what looked like books from the library. They wailed as the pages flew open, screaming outfrom the assult.Draco shook himself. He shivered as he turned to see Blaise gently touching his face. His eyebrow was bleeding and also his lip. He looked down at his shirt, blood was dripping everywhere. Blaise coughed, and out came a bloody tooth.
Draco gave her a deadly look before walking towards her. She shook badly, her wand trained on him, but he had grabbed her and gotten his wand out from her tiny fists. He pushed her so hard she fell on her rear, crying out in shock. She cried, "Draco! What's gotten into you! Please…tell me what's wrong!" Draco blankly turned to her, his eyes grew dark and he stood above her, grabbing her ponytail and pulling it fiercely.
"You better watch it Parkinson…" Draco threatened. He released her hair only to wrap his fingers around her neck. "I wouldn't be afraid to snap your tiny neck in half. Just stay out of my way," Draco wheezed. Pansy's fingers pulled at Draco's hand as she gasped for air. He watched her struggle for breath, her face losing some of its color before releasing her. Pansy fell at his feet, gasping for air.
"You bloody bastard…you wait…I'll get you for this…" Pansy muttered. Draco squatted beside her, snatched up her wand, and snapped it in half. Pansy released a wild scream, but not before Draco had snatched her up again. He grabbed at the front of her shirt, flipping her onto her back and having the v-tip of the shirt wrap tightly around her throat, exposing her stomach and chest. She tried franticly to cover her bra with her hands. She screamed as he dragged her towards the entrance of the Slytherin Tower. Before Draco could get her there, Blaise had came from behind him and knocked him to his back.
"GET AWAY FROM HER!" Blaise bellowed, having thrown himself on Draco. They struggled on the ground for some time, Draco throwing wild punches and Blaise, who was trying to keep Draco's balled up fists away from his face.
Draco dug his nails into the side of Blaise's neck, as Blaise wrapped his hands around Draco's. They were both trying to suffocate the other, until a loud crack emitted the empty corridor.
The last thing Draco remembered was seeing something red drip from above him. He released Blaise's neck, watching the fearful expression cross Blaise's face, and touched the top of his head. It was wet and the top felt oddly shaped. He saw the red wipe away onto his hands, and Draco removed himself from off top of Blaise. He was now slowly falling onto his stomach, passing out into a world of darkness.
Above him stood a shaking Pansy with an extinguished torch from off the wall, covered in red.
"Well I was scared Blaise! What was I to do? He was going to kill you!"
"Shhh…I have to concentrate Pansy, I'm pretty sure the damages are reversible, let me finish brewing this potion, okay? Everything will be all right."
"Do you think he'll remember what happened?" Blaise asked.
"I don't know…but that is the least of our worries Blaise. We have to heal him before he goes into shock."
Hermione was holding her "Magically Careful! (101 Ways to fix a fixie)! " Guidebook. She was stirring a small cauldron filled with a bright yellow liquid.
"But you said it was supposed to be pink!" Pansy said nervously, pointing at the contents of the cauldron.
"I know that Pansy, but I added something else in here that'll help him go into an easy sleep as he heals."
"Oh." Pansy whispered. She wrapped her arms around her body and sighed.
"He became an animal! You saw the hate in his eyes, right Blaise? I didn't mean to hurt him, it's just, he was going to kill you!" Pansy protested. Hermione looked over at Pansy; she was twisting the bottom of her shirt in her shaking hands. Blaise went over to her to wrap a consoling arm around her.
"Thanks Pansy, it's going to be okay." Blaise kissed the top of her head as she wrapped herself into him. Hermione gave him a sideways glance before stirring the potion once more. She pulled out a small glass and a large spoon. She poured half a cup of blindingly bright liquid and walked towards Draco.
They were in the sixth year boy's dorm. It was brilliantly furnished, with four poster beds draped in thick green sheets, blankets and shades. Draco lay sprawled out on his bed. Hermione had enchanted him so his wrists were tied to the bed. He unconscious now, but they didn't want to take any risks. Hermione had stopped his excessive amount of bleeding and had wrapped his head with heavy bandages she had nicked from Madame Pomfrey's office when she wasn't looking. Blaise was terrified when he had cornered her in the Gryffindor Tower about Draco. She couldn't turn away from a dying boy, even if he did hate her with a passion.
She didn't want to go home for the holidays nor visit Ron's family like Harry did either. She told them both that she needed to stay at Hogwarts, for homework and studying. The believed her, and left her alone.
But it was actually because Hermione wasn't in a very Christmas-y mood. She didn't want to crash on anyone's joy, nor did she want to suffer for five weeks with fake smiles and forced laughter, claiming that she was having the best Christmas ever. She wanted to stay with Blaise and Pansy, and spend her Christmas with the Slytherins that she previously had hated so much.
But here she was, having learned of Draco's wild attempt to kill Blaise and Pansy, his two good friends. Hermione had recognized a change in Malfoy, but put it off as adolescents kicking in for him. But something was surely up with Malfoy. And she was going to find out one way or another. She had to know what brought this on. But right now, her main goal was to heal Malfoy before some permanent damage occurred. She brought the tip of the glass to Draco's lips, and slipped it into his mouth. She drained the glass and closed his mouth, forcing the substance down his throat.
Hermione gave a triumphant grin as the wound on the back of Draco's head began to softly glow yellow.
"He's healing," Hermione declared, clearing away the cauldron's remaining substance with a cleansing charm. Blaise released an awaited sigh and Pansy giggled nervously as Hermione checked his pulse and removed the bonding of Draco's wrists.
"Good, this is really good. Do you think he'll remember everything that happened?" Pansy asked.
Hermione shook her head, "no, no...He won't remember a thing! That hole you gave him made sure of that."
"You're a genius…" Blaise moved over to Hermione, wrapping his arms fully around her. She smiled up at him as he sweated badly. Both he and Pansy came very close to committing murder.
"I know…all this looks bad, but it was self-defense. He was really about to kill me, you should have seen his expression," Blaise murmured, pressing his lips against Hermione's cheek. She immediately detached herself from him and looked away.
"Blaise…" she started. She quickly glanced at Pansy, who was shutting the dorms door, waiting outside for her. She grew more confident and started again, "Blaise…I really care about you. No, scratch that, I love you," Hermione declared, looking up at him with determination. "But I can't…I can't be with you." The words were out. Blaise stared back at her blankly.
"Why?"
"I don't know if I'm ready…I don't know…" Blaise grabbed her by the elbows and brought her to him. She crashed against him as he attacked her with his lips. Hermione gave up fighting and melted into the kiss, her arms going around his neck as he entwined his fingers in her hair. Hermione whimpered and pushed away from him.
"I can't! I just can't! Blaise, right now, I really need you as a friend…not as my boyfriend!" Hermione yelled as she took several steps away from him. He gave a shuddering cry and fell out on the floor.
"You're breaking me apart Hermione…you led me on…thinking…"
"I'm sorry Blaise! I didn't know what I wanted…I…know that I need you in my life, but as my best friend. Please." Hermione waited, her arms crossed and her face solemn. Blaise stood and made his way towards her, his arms went around her.
"I'm here…" Blaise whispered. Hermione cried into his shoulder as he stroked her hair. "I'm here okay? I won't push you, I promise."
Hermione allowed for him to hold her as she cried. She hated herself, because she wasn't crying really. She hated that she had to force herself to cry in order to break off a relationship that might have happened. What were her motives? Blaise was attractive, funny, smart…but something told her it just wasn't what she wanted, that she needed more time. That her heart would soon cake and allow for Blaise to enter her life.
She glanced over at the sleeping form of Draco Malfoy. She'd have to keep watch of him while he recovered. If only he knew… She thought, watching Draco's angelic face. If only he knew I really cared. Hermione used Blaise's shoulder as a handkerchief as she wiped away her cheek. Blaise and Pansy wouldn't risk taking him to the Hospital Wing and him ratting them out. She'd have to heal Malfoy on her own. She'd have to deal with the class one Basketcase of Hogwarts. She was determined to know what brought down his terminal illness of the mind, and find a way to fix it.
As Blaise continued to soothe her, she made note that Malfoy would never take her generous offer; he would never know the healing hand that would touch him ever so. She didn't know why, but pity had replaced her hatred for the boy, and she needed to find out why.
But he would never know, thought Hermione before closing her eyes and releasing a real sob.
Okay? So is it too confusing? I'm trying to fit in Hermione's feelings of this whole situation. See it as a growing feeling of DETERMINATION. Hermione is the type of character, that when she sees a challenge, she takes it fully on. Do not see what she's feeling about Draco too romantically. This is just the beginning. Please review!