Hey guys! Im really sorry that its taken soooo long to update (again) its just I've bin pretty busy with school and such….so sorry again

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Hope you enjoy it……

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Chapter 4

I was contemplating on whether or not I should open my eyes. If I opened them and he wasn't there I would sure enough fall back into that dark hole of depression and sadness that I've only just climbed out of. But if I opened my eys and he was there, my world would find sense again, If only he stayed with me….Do I really want to put myself in that situation again? To be left feeling like someone has just literally ripped my heart out. I didn't want to hurt Charlie or anyone else that I loved, like that again. After hearing Charlie tell Alice that he hadn't bought any of my acting for the first few months , I didn't want to be the reason why he was unhappy. Does Edward even want me back? I remember Charlie telling Alice that he thought me and Jacob would become something more than friends, eventually, if he never came home. The way he defended Jacob in front of her made me realise that he would be happy, well more than happy, if I chose him. Would being with Jacob be so bad? I know it would never be the same as what me and Edward had once had but if I really had to I could live through it. Couldn't I? But what if Edward did want me back….if he did I had two options: to jump into his tight cold embrace and tell him to never let go or turn my back on him and save myself the heartbreak. For an eighteen year old I sure had a lot to think about and so little time to do it in.

Suddenly I could feel something cold brush across my cheek and then my forehead. It was him…Edward, he came back! Even if it was to tell me he was leaving again and that he still doesn't love me, I would always be thankful that he came back to me. That's all I would ever wish for. All those thoughts rushed out of my head and all I could think about was him. I was pretty sure that all he was here to do was to tell me that he was leaving again. I wasn't sure how I was going to handle it but I decided just to let what happens, happen.

I opened my eyes and sure enough he was there, sitting beside me on my bed. His face was breath taking like it always has been. It made me freeze. He caught on to what had happenedand took my face into his hands. It was so cold compared to those set of fiery hands that had touched my skin not so long ago.

'Good morning, love' he whispered.

The feeling of his breath on my face made my heart skip a beat. It was still dark outside so it must be fairly early.

'How long have I been out for?' I asked still looking into his eyes.

'Around fourteen hours' he said whilst giving me my favourite grin at my shocked answering expression.

'Don't worry, it was a long 3 days for you so Charlie let you sleep' he added quickly. I groaned.

Even just hearing him breath was making my heart race. I knew he could hear it but I didn't care. We stared at each other for what felt like decades when he broke the silence.

'What are you thinking?' he asked his favourite question with his hands still wrapped around my face. It took me awhile to answer , I wasn't sure what to say. I knew if I lied he would know, so that was out of the question so I just settled or him telling him part of the truth.

'Just, that I'm happy you came back, and that you're here'

He smiled again that grin that always made my insides melt.

'I'm surprised you haven't told me to leave yet' he said quietly. That confused me, but not for long. Before I knew it his lips were crushing mine. All those thoughts came rushing back into my head. If he doesn't stop now I wont be able to survive when he leaves again. It was always him that would stop when it became to much for him but this time it was me…

Under his lips I tried to protest

'Edward please' I pleaded but it was muffled by his lips. He must have gotten the wrong impression by what I said because his hands moved from my face to grabbing my hair. He repositioned himself so that I was underneath him and he was supporting all of his weight. He never usually let it get this far. I was pretty surprised. His lips moved from my mouth to my neck.

'Edward please….. stop!' I pleaded whilst trying to push him off of me. It caught him by surprise when, as soon as he had rolled off of me that I jumped out of the bed.

My back was facing him. I didn't want to do it but it was the only way I could save myself.

'Bella?' he asked wearily 'why?'

I didn't have the strength to turn and face him.

'I cant do this' I whispered.

'Why not?' he whispered back.

I could feel the hurt and torture in his voice. I hated myself. I was so selfish!

I turned and faced him. He was standing now. I could see his pain. I started to stutter.

'Because…….I…….I just………I mean'

I could hear Charlie's snores from the other room and knew that we would end up waking him.

'Bella please…..' he pleaded while taking a step forward.

I took a step back and put my hands up to stop him coming any closer. This upset him and also made him slightly angry.

'I cant do this now!' I said a bit louder.

This is not the place!' I was thinking of Charlie's reaction if he woke and found Edward in my room.

'Fine!' he said with a little force to his voice. He closed the gap that was in between us and pulled me gently onto his back. He took one big leap out of my window.

'Don't forget to close your eyes' he said with a smirk on his face. With that he began to run into the forest….