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Chapter 5

The speed was just….exhilarating. The air striking my face and blowing through my hair felt like magic. I couldn't remember why I used to fear running with him at this top speed because right now I felt I was home. Edward holding me the way he was now was bliss. I didn't want him to leave me again I didn't prepare myself for the backlash this would cause when he does to decide to leave me again. It will destroy me….

We began to slow to a steady pace which would generally be jogging to a human, but was like moving in slow motion to a vampire. I wasn't sure how this was going to play out but I had decided not to let him hurt me again. I would make this easy for him, I would end this before he gets a chance to do so for himself. If I do this it will hopefully relieve me from a little bit of pain that the first time caused. If I hear those words come out of his mouth once again it might just kill me, so I was adamant to begin the talking before he would.

I could hear the river now as it softly flowed against the rocks, it was peaceful, it calmed me down the slightest bit but not enough. Nothing was going to make this easy. I could see the lights through the window and could vaguely make out figures. That's when I felt a tugging on my arm. I released my hold from around his neck which would have suffocated any normal person. Edward was far from normal….he was so much better and that's why I love him and always will. I untangled my legs from around his waist and placed my feet firmly on the ground. I started to fix my clothes when I felt his eyes on my face. I braced myself for what I was going to look up into. His face was perfect every inch but is eyes were breathtaking. He stared deeply into my eyes whilst I glanced all around me to try and avoid those eyes. He put his hands around my face which I wasn't prepared for. The first thing that I felt was the coldness of his hands. They made me shiver. I tried to recuperate myself. I placed my hands gently over his and when I glanced at his face his eyes were closed.

'Bella you have no idea how sorry I am..' he began to say.

Oh no here we go, this wasn't part of the plan. I was supposed to start not him but now he was going to crush my heart once again with not a care in the world. I had to stop it! I gripped both his hands which were still around my face a little harder. He noticed the minor pressure on his hands and his eyes shot open. The shock hit his face but changed to confusion. I pulled his hands from my face and put them by his side.

'Edward, please don't' I hardly whispered.

I turned towards the white house and started walking towards it. After a couple of steps I wasn't sure if he was following. I snuck look behind me from the corner of my eye. He was there just a step or two behind. I had forgotten how quiet he was. I noticed that he was staring at my face. I quickly averted my eyes to the front door but still couldn't help but blush.

I stopped in front of the huge white door. This was it! This was the moment I feared the most. I would never forget this night as the night my heart came back home but left again. I waited on the doorstep for him to open the door. A minute had passed and nothing happened. Maybe he ran away….But when I turned to see if he had but I met his gaze. This time I was stuck there. I couldn't look away. It wasn't long after when I heard the front door creak open. I was struck by a bight light which made my eyes water. Edward was the first to walk in. I followed obediently.

When my eyes re-focused I noticed that it wasn't just us in the house. We were met by the rest of the Cullen family. This caught me off guard. I wasn't sure what to do.

'Bella, how nice to see you again' Esme sang across the room.

'Have you and Edward….?' she began but was silenced by a look from Edward. I smiled at her. I looked around the room to capture everything. It had been so long since I had been here. It felt different….almost awkward. Emmett was sitting on the couch with his arm draped around Rosalie. They were both looking in our direction. Jasper and Carlisle were in the far corner of the room prior to s arriving they wee probably deep in conversation but now they're focus was on us. They sensed something was wrong. I spotted Alice sitting at the bottom of the stairs glaring at me. I've never seen her like this. She suddenly stood up and made her way towards us. She looked frightening.

'Come on everyone, they would like to have some privacy.' she said whilst putting a hand on Esme's shoulder. She turned around and headed towards the kitchen which was never used, followed by Esme and Carlisle. Emmett and Rosalie rised from the couch and began to walk slowly towards the kitchen where Alice would explain what was happening.

'You're scared' Jasper said.

It gave me a fright to hear him speak so out of the blue.

'What?' I asked still a bit shaken.

'Your feeling…frightened' he explained.

'I am' was all I could say.

He then headed towards the kitchen to join the others. I took a couple of steps forward and turned to face him. I was overwhelmed by his beauty. After all our time together you would think I would be used to it by now but the fact was I never would be… I pulled myself together and took a deep breath. This was going to hurt.

'Edward' I began 'I cant do this again, I cant go through all that pain again, I just cant. I'm sorry but I don't know what else to do….' to my surprise I was already crying.

'You hurt me so bad' he took a step forward like back in my bedroom but I took a step back putting my hands up.

'Please don't make this harder than it already is' I pleaded.

'Bella please I'm so sorry, I thought I doing the right thing by leaving, I thought you would be better off without me in the picture but I was wrong….I will never forgive myself for hurting you Bella' he explained. This hit me like a ton of bricks, but he said he didn't love me anymore how is that doing the right thing?

'Please this is exactly what I didn't want, My plan was to leave you before you could do it first and leave me here, alone in this town broken again, so please let me leave before you do' the tears were pouring out, I could taste the salt water.

'Bella I'm not leaving you again. I don't have the strength. You're my life, my very existence, I love you' he explained it took me by surprise.

'My love didn't stop you before….' I stated. Looking into his eyes.

'Eveytime you go hunting or leave until Charlie goes to sleep, that thought of you leaving and not coming back will always haunt me until your with me again….I cant live like that Edward' my legs felt weak.

'I'm not going anywhere Bella, not without you' he pleaded.

'How can I believe you?' I asked still blubbering, this startled him.

'I will gain our trust again Bella if it kills me' he said 'I'm not giving up without a fight' I couldn't answer but I shook my head. He closed the space between us.

'I'm not going anywhere Bella' he said whist putting his hands on my face again.

I need to go….I have to think' I said whist pulling away.

'I'll take you home' he said, and with that I was on his back and we were flying through the woods again. I fell asleep with the words I love you burned in my mind.