Drowning in Spite
Summery: The summer of fifth year—the days of developing, growing and adventure of the teenage experience. But what happens when your innocence is abruptly taken from you? With no heart, no conscious and absolutely no one to hear your cries—what are you to do? Draco Malfoy finds out the hard way, after being introduced to the most secretive Malfoy tradition ever known. And the only person there to hold his bleeding heart is the last person he could ever want to see. Come; read this story as all the characters go through riveting experiences concerning the coming of age, sexual preference/exploration and the meaning of life.
Disclaimer: Sorry, but I don't own any of the characters.
Warning: This is a very Dark fic. Please DO NOT READ if you are offended by ANY of this.
A/N:
RAPE SCENE. Please do NOT read if you're going to complain later. Thank you.
AND VIOLENCE PLEASE, HERE'S YOUR WARNING
MEAN! HARRY AND RON
IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE IN THE END!
Chapter Thirteen: His Redemption
So hurting here is where I belong dreaming a song
Blood on my hands to stay strong
The flowers in the graveyard are all gone I don't belong
There is no right to heal the wrong
Soup's on hot feelin' like a do or die
I can't throw up don't think I even want to
Try.
Katy Rose.
"I heard that he wanked off some of the Slytherin bastards in his year…"
"Well, I know for a fact that he was shagging Hermione Granger, saw them at it myself in the corridor!"
"He's a fag!"
Draco heard the gossip and rumors spread about the school as if it were a disease. He cringed when Hermione would enter a room and look past him, like he wasn't there. When they were in the common room, she wouldn't look at him. She knew how dirty he was, how much illness had been pumped into his body.
However, Draco lost all sanity one day outside of Potions. He had gotten there early, in hopes to avoid curious stares, but Snape had locked the door to the dungeon, leaving him stranded. He dropped his bag to the floor in exhaustion and glanced around the empty dungeons. He heard a stir off to the left, and saw a group of people walking his way…of course, it was the Gryffindors.
"I saw it Harry, I saw Luna Lovegood's goodies, you can't tell me I didn't, and her knockers are just…" Ron held his hands out in front of his chest, as if pretending they were breasts he squeezed them. Harry looked uninterested. Instead, he had a secure arm wrapped around Hermione's waist.
When they saw Draco standing against the wall, they stopped in their tracks, and it was the first time Hermione had looked at him since Christmas Break.
"What are you doing here Malfoy? Have an appointment to get on your knees?" Ron asked, smirking. Draco ignored him, and reached to pick up his bag, but Ron had kicked it out of his reach. Ron now leaned forward into Draco's personal space and whispered, "Mind telling me how many blokes you shagged as a hustler, Malfoy?" Although soft, Ron's question was loud enough for the Gryffindors to hear. Neville, Seamus, Dean, Parvati, Padma and Lavender, who was standing behind the trio, were able to hear it, and gasped.
"He was a hustler?"
"Malfoy is REALLY Gay?"
"What a bloody nance…"
Draco shot an icy stare at Hermione. She was the only one that knew that secret, and she had told Ron, and possibly others.
"Bugger off Weasel," Draco sneered, reaching once again to pick up his bag. When he had grabbed it however, Ron grabbed him and slammed him up against the stone wall. He cried out in pain as his head flew back. Ron brought his face close.
"We don't like people like you, Malfoy…You're disgusting…we don't like hustlers and we don't like pounces either…" Ron released him. Hermione gave Harry a pleading look.
"C'mon Ron, let him off…" Harry started, but Draco cut him off.
"Oh, calling your two-bit boyfriend off, eh Potter?" Draco asked nastily, "Next you'll be telling your mudblood bitch to scurry off so you two could have a right fuck, huh? She's used to the fucking, I suppose!" Draco shouted. Harry froze as his cheeks burned red. Hermione however, looked as if she would cry. Ron on the other hand had tightened his grip on Draco…He turned to stare wildly and accusingly at Hermione.
"What the fuck is he talking about Hermione?" Ron asked.
"What I'm talking about is that I would fuck her senseless everyday since Halloween!" Draco shouted. Harry had dropped his arm that was wrapped around Hermione's waist. "I was even at her house for Christmas!"
"LIAR!" Ron roared, wrapping his fingers around Draco's throat. Hermione was crying now.
"HOW COULD YOU!" Draco roared. "How could you do this? After everything we've been through?" Draco asked chokingly, Ron was applying more pressure now.
"You're a fucking fairy Malfoy, and you don't deserve to live! That's why!" Harry shouted back.
"You're just covering up your own homo desires Potter!" Draco replied rashly. He was met with a fist to the side of the face, blinding him temporarily.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Ron roared. He had released Draco now.
"I'm not the homo, Malfoy!" Harry took a menacing step forward. Draco was now picking himself up, touching his cheek carefully at the nearing purple bruise. Harry pushed him against the wall, and laughed. "You used to pick on us…fight us…say horrible things to us…and now you have no one, nothing." Draco stayed silent as Harry shoved him again against the wall. "You're helpless! And your little fun you had last year, with being a bad ass? Not here anymore, is it?"
"Fuck you!" Draco shouted back.
"Hermione told us all about your dead boyfriend!" Ron shouted behind Harry, trying to comfort Hermione. "You nearly had her wrecked, did you know? We got her to tell us everything about your life…"
"But she didn't tell you we were shagging?" Draco asked venomously. Harry yanked Draco's head back so hard, the girls in the back screamed.
"She didn't, you know why? Because you're a liar…" Harry said, keeping his grip on Draco strong. "But she was able to tell us all your dirty family secrets. You had her terrified…she came to us; she couldn't handle your nasty confessions. Told us everything a couple of days ago," Harry explained sweetly. Draco gasped. He looked at Hermione, who was staring back at him, Ron at her side.
"You bitch…" Draco softly said, trying to fight back tears. Harry pushed him again letting him go, and it was then that Draco grabbed Harry's school robe, and brought his lips crashing onto the other boys. Harry tried to fight him back, but soon found him self limp against Draco. The people in the corridor gasped, and Hermione had turned away from it, and dashed down the corridor. Draco pushed Harry away from him.
"Not gay, Potter?" he asked out of breath. Harry was equally out of breath, and looked around nervously. He then pulled out his wand, and pointed it directly at Draco.
"You'll die for that, Malfoy! YOU FREAK!" Harry shouted. Ron came to Harry's side in shock.
"You kissed him back!" Ron said. Harry, his wand still trained on Draco, glared at Ron.
"The bastard bit me! It didn't look like what you saw, honestly now Ron!" Harry shouted in reply. Ron slowly looked back at Draco, who had picked up his bag.
"You're disgusting!" Ron shouted back, believing Harry's story. Harry was livid with anger. Fucking bastard, he thought viciously. "We're going to beat you to a bloody pulp."
Draco looked around for Snape, but he wasn't anywhere near the dungeons. Ron lunged for Draco, knocking him to the ground, and began to kick him repeatedly in the stomach.
"HOW'S THAT? ENJOY THAT?" Ron asked. "YOU FUCKING SHIRT LIFTER!"
"You have to STOP THIS!" Lavender Brown said, pulling on Harry's arm. "You can't be for real Harry!" she continued. Harry had taken a step back from Ron's outburst. Parvati nodded in agreement. It was now that other students began filing into the dungeon's corridor, and upon seeing Draco on the floor, they crowded around to watch. Pansy Parkinson had broke into the circle and tried to yank Ron off of Draco.
"GET OFF OF HIM!" she cried. Ron pushed her away, and she fell onto her bum, and it was then that Draco snapped. His fist flew into the air, knocking Ron clean off his feet. Harry had come forward, trying to help Ron up.
"You stupid floozy!" Ron said over the already coming gossip. Pansy glared up at him as she stood to her feet.
"Have you gone barmy Weasley?" Pansy barked, dusting off her robes and dashing forward to help Draco stand. His lip was bleeding greatly, and when she had touched it, he hissed and turned away from her. "You both are wankers, do you know that?"
"Yeah, well, did you know your friend here is an arse bandit?" Harry asked rudely, as Ron stood beside him. The people who had just come into the dungeons began to whisper again.
"What's the meaning of this?" Blaise had come from behind the crowd, also partnered with Crabbe and Goyle. Immediately they began to size up Harry and Ron. Draco was standing now beside Pansy, and Blaise had come to stand in front of him.
"Is it true? What everyone is saying?"
"And what is that?" Draco asked coolly. Blaise cleared his throat.
"That you're attracted to boys," Blaise said in an undertone. Draco smirked.
"If that's what you want to believe, then go ahead."
Draco felt like he was being thrown into a pool, and the biggest problem was that he didn't know how to swim. He was being beaten on by the rapid waves of the water, and forced to swallow the salty current. The harder he pushed against it, the harder he was pulled underwater. He felt trapped.
He wasn't gay, and he knew that for a fact, and although he had fallen in love with a boy, it was never truly explored. All he knew fully was Hermione, was the body of a woman, despite all his experience with the male anatomy.
He was brought back to earth by Professor Snape's late arrival. "What the bloody hell is going on here?" he swore, looking from Draco's bleeding and dazed look, to Ron who had a lovely shiner developing.
"Draco and Weasley please go to the Infirmary now, and you both will receive separate detentions from me."
"Sir, may I possibly escort Draco? To make sure there's no further fighting?" Blaise asked benevolently, trying to persuade Snape. Snape nodded, and Blaise took Draco by the upper arm and dragged him to the stairs.
"I don't need to go to the Infirmary!" Draco shouted at Blaise. Ron had stomped pass them, glaring. When Draco had finally stopped struggling, he realized they were in the middle of an empty corridor. "I also don't need you here!" Draco snapped. Blaise raised his hands in peace.
"Alright there, mate…I'm not going to pretend that I haven't been the best person, but I'm not going to fight with you over some bird." Blaise crossed his arms. "I just want…to know!" he finally struggled out. "Why didn't you tell anybody about what you've been through?" Draco froze at Blaise's words.
"You know what my Father did to me?" Draco whispered. Blaise lifted his brow.
"No…what are you talking about?"
Draco turned on his heel to continue walking, but Blaise had grabbed him by the wrist.
"Is there a new rumor going around about your Father…oh…," realization dawned on Blaise, and he dropped Draco's arm. "Oh Draco, Draco I didn't know what was going on," Blaise said softly. Draco had wrapped his arms around his body now. Blaise tugged Draco carefully into his arms and hugged him. He missed being this close to him. Draco began to sob as Blaise hugged him tightly. "That sick fuck, how could he do this?!" Blaise shouted.
"I used to think it was okay," Draco replied. "But it's not…it's not Blaise," he cried. Blaise raked a hand through Draco's hair to calm him. "I'm so sorry Blaise!" Draco croaked out.
"Merlin Draco, it's okay, I wish I would have known sooner!" Blaise said, pulling Draco back to peer into his face.
"C'mon, let's go to the Infirmary…"
Draco was coming back from detention with Snape, who had had mercy on him. He looked at his watch, and realized that he couldn't go back to the dorms, not that he wanted to, but because he had to patrol. It was nearing eleven at night, and anybody who was out of bed would get caught and given a detention. He jumped when he heard a noise. He looked behind his shoulder and saw no one there, but when he had turned around, there was a masked figure in front if him. He jumped back, and strong arms wrapped around his body.
"Well look here boys, we found the famous Death Eater's son!" cried the hidden boy in front of him. Draco shivered. His eyes quickly raked across the boys who had come from around the corner. He counted three. "So, we heard that you were the best…" the boy continued. Before Draco could respond, he was hit in the back of the head, and was pressed against the wall in a hidden alcove. He cried out loud when he felt the boy behind him roughly pulling his trousers down.
"Ripe like a new born baby!" the boy said, touching Draco's bum. Draco swallowed upcoming vomit. He tried fighting the boy back, but his ribs had been broken from Weasley's earlier attack. Madame Pomfrey had healed him, but not without some fearful looks to the bruises on his body that was not from Ron. He was still in pain.
"STOP!" Draco cried out. "Don't do this…I don't even know you all! I haven't done anything to any of you," Draco said weakly. The boy laughed.
"You're a disgrace to Slytherin and the Dark Lord, Malfoy. You're a fucking fairy. And me and my great friends here, we're about to rip you apart," the boy from beside him said. Draco turned his attention to the boy, and he had pulled his mask off.
It was none other than Flint. Draco cringed, knowing that this monster was going to rape him. He couldn't say or finish his thought, because the boy behind him had brutally entered him. Draco's face smashed against the wall, feeling the skin on his cheek break against the rough stone. He bit his lip so he wouldn't cry, but the sobs escaped him, and he was hit in the back of the head.
"How's it, arse bandit? Feeling like a lucky faggot?"
Draco struggled against the larger boy. He was suddenly relieved of fear and sadness, and instead, his body began to shake violently, and he felt the magic swell into his body like the flowing of a river. The magic exploded, like a bomb in the corridor, and he knew it could be felt everywhere in the castle. The boy had wrapped his arms around Draco upon feeling the magic boiling in Draco. He shouted at the sudden pain that shot through his back, and quickly pushed the boy that was on him off. He easily fell to the floor, stunned by the magic that had exploded from Draco. Draco moved to pull up his trousers. The other two boys had also flown into the walls, and were briefly out cold. Draco could hear footsteps coming from the opposite corridor. Hermione had entered the corridor, seeing the three cloaked boys, and then Draco's shaken form. She immediately knew what had happened.
She had been patrolling alone, not wanting to go back to the dorm incase she ran into Draco there. Hermione understood Draco's pain, but didn't want to accept it. She was the type of girl who would put her arms around someone and let them know that they were safe from harms way. However, when Hermione found out that Draco had been abused by his father, and had mistaken it for love, she felt sick. She felt like she would break down because she could, somewhere deep down inside, understand what he was feeling. She had been hurt by Blaise, but felt some love for him still, remembering the good times they used to have. She thought, maybe Draco had those good memories of his father that he couldn't let go of, too.
He gave her one more shattering look, and fell to the floor, unconscious.
"Oh god!" she cried, running over to him.
"Oh god, Draco…" she cried, falling down beside him. She lifted his head to rest in her lap, removing a stray blonde hair from his forehead. His eyes fluttered open, and upon seeing her large brown eyes, he quickly rolled himself onto his stomach, and lifted himself from off the ground.
"Stay…away…" he gasped, clenching his stomach. He turned to the wall, resting his hands against it. He made one lurching sound, and emptied his gut onto the corridor's ground.
"You're sick Draco," Hermione whispered, still sitting on the ground. "Let me help you!"
"You can't fucking help me, you twisted hag!" he cried. "You're a liar, you're a whore, and you're a fucking monster! Now get the fuck away from me…" he shouted. He nearly passed out again; his ribs were throbbing almost as bad as his head. She stood.
"Listen, Draco…I've been preparing myself for this. I know you're mad, but please, listen to me…"
"I shouldn't have to listen to someone I hate…" he drawled, regaining what was left of his composure and walking away from her.
"I was afraid, Draco! I was afraid of what you told me! It…it reminded me of what Blaise did to me…how useless and disgusted I felt, because I think some small part of me liked what he did to me," Hermione stuttered out.
Draco gracefully shrugged his shoulders, continuing to walk away from the mess that was behind him. "Go away, Granger."
"Please, just hear me out, Draco! I love you!"
Before Hermione knew it, Draco had used the little strength he had and slammed Hermione against the wall, making her head snap back and collide with the wall. She could feel the blood seeping into her robe.
"You…fucking bitch," he spat. "You love me?" his voice was barely above a whisper as he hissed at the nearly unconscious girl. "You ruined me, you hurt me. I hate you."
Hermione released a cry as he shook her again, "and you…and you told them about my boyfriend…do…do you know how painful that is?" he wept, releasing her. She slid down the wall, her body giving into exhaustion. Draco gasped when he saw the blood dripping down her neck. He pulled her into his arms, where she fell limp against his chest.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, clinging onto his weak body. They slid to the floor together, Hermione's arms wrapped around Draco's neck, and Draco's hands thrust into Hermione's hair, crying lightly into it as he felt for the gash that was bleeding. He had hurt her badly.
"I'm sorry too," he cried. "I'm sorry I called you all those things…"
"I'm sorry I told Harry and Ron, I just…I'm so sorry Draco," she whimpered, crying into his arms. She felt herself tipping forward into darkness, Draco along with her. The last thing she remembered was hearing footsteps walk towards her. All she remembered was a horrified look gracing Professor Snape's dark face as he saw the two lovers clenching each other to death.
"Miss Granger will be fine," Snape said to Draco, who was awake and walking around. He had healed the young boy's ribs, and healed some of the ugly gashed that decorated his beautiful face. Only a bruise could be seen, darkening his right cheekbone.
"What are you going to do with the unconscious students?" Draco asked. He cringed, remembering the incident.
"One of them raped you and the others were going to: that's attempted rape. They're being expelled." Snape's face turned up in disgust as he answered. "When were going to tell me about Lucius, Draco?" the older man said in an unusually soft voice.
"I was scared Severus, I told no one except Hermione, only to have her leave me." Draco trembled, "You have to promise you won't tell Father. You have to promise me." Draco slid to the floor, bringing his legs against his chest and wrapping his arms around them. "You can't tell him about the attack either."
"That's impossible, Draco. Those boys who are being expelled are the children of Death Eaters. Your Father will know soon enough."
"Then don't expel them!" Draco cried. "I don't want them to be expelled, please…" Draco whispered. He didn't want Lucius to know how weak he had been against the boys. He would surely be punished for it. Snape had come towards Draco, kneeling beside the boy he had known since infancy.
"Nonsense…they have to be expelled Draco, but I will protect you from Lucius. You'll never have to see him again. No one will know about this incident, just you, me, Ms. Granger and Dumbledore. No other students. Do you understand?"
"No, I don't understand…I don't want this to happen," Draco hissed.
"You have to stay strong Draco!" Snape shouted, grabbing the boy about his shoulders. When did he become so thin? He asked himself. "You can't pretend this didn't happen. You have to face this." Draco nodded, standing onto shaking legs.
"I have to go," Draco whispered, walking around Snape to the door. He caught a glimpse of Hermione sleeping in one of the white beds. He willed himself not to cry.
"You have to stay in the Infirmary. No moving about for you tonight. Dumbledore has been informed by Madame Pomfrey that you are to stay in the Infirmary for three days."
"Three days?" Draco asked. "Why?"
"You're…you're sick, Draco," Snape stuttered out. The boy turned to stare at his Godfather. His face was incredibly pale.
"What…" Draco started, biting back a sob. "What is wrong with me?"
"You have a muggle disease, Draco. It's contracted through sex, and in the muggle world, it's deadly," Snape said in monotone. He watched as Draco's silvery eyes grew wide with panic.
"Does she—" Draco started, his eyes cutting to where Hermione rested.
"No, Hermione does not have it," he said softly. "She was spared, thank God."
"How did I get it?" he asked. Snape grew uncomfortable.
"Madame Pomfrey told me that it's been in your body for awhile…Since your…hustling days. You may have contracted it from a…customer."
Draco chokingly made his way to an armchair, flopping onto it. He placed his hands over his face and began to cry into them. "Am I going to die Severus?" he wheezed out.
"No, you will not," Snape moved over to Draco, kneeling before the boy, pulling his hands from his face. "You're going to get better; here in the Wizarding World we have a cure for this disease. You're going to go through three stages Draco, three difficult stages. They're going to be scary, you'll be violently ill, but I promise you, in the end you'll feel better. The disease will be gone from your body."
"What does this disease do to me?"
"It breaks down your immune system, causing you to get sick easily. It attacks what you have known in your body as T Cells. If we hadn't caught this disease, you could've died within a month. You've had it untreated in your body for so long."
"How…how did she not get it?" Draco asked.
"I do not know…anyone that you had intercourse with should have gotten it, but Ms. Granger is extremely healthy," Snape said. "But…I do have an idea…" he started, watching as Draco raised his head. "It was because of love."
"What do you mean?"
"You love Ms. Granger, and I think that in a sense, that love protected her, it became a shield of some kind for her, to protect her from the illness."
Draco looked over to where his lover laid, her angelic face gleaming in the dim candle light.
The next morning, Draco woke up screaming.
"HELP ME!" he screamed. "HELP ME!" he was breaking out into a cold sweat, his body shaking madly as he pulled the sheets back from his body. He was bleeding. Hermione began to stir in her sleep, opening her eyes at the screams that were coming from a couple beds away. She saw Madame Pomfrey run out, latex gloves on. She moved over to the bed and gasped.
"Mr. Malfoy!"
Hermione sat up in her bed; images from last night came back to her. She sprang from her bed, running over to the frantic screams that were coming from Draco. However, when she saw what was in front of her, she fell to the floor, covering her mouth.
Draco sat on the bed, blood staining his backside. Madame Pomfrey used her wand to clean the mess and stop Draco from bleeding, but the pale boy still shook.
"Mr. Malfoy, you're going through the first stage…this is a shock, I know, but it's vital that you calm down so I can explain these stages."
"Draco?" Hermione whispered weakly from the floor. Draco stopped fussing with the mediwitch and looked over to where she was on the floor. "What's happening to you?"
"MISS GRANGER! PLEASE GET BACK IN BED!" the older woman screamed. "Mr. Malfoy is sick, and he is being taken care of!" Madame Pomfrey pulled out a long needle, and pulled Draco left arm out, puncturing him in the vein. "I'm sorry Mr. Malfoy, but I'll have to do this the hard way. I'm giving you a relaxant; a spell would not calm you down long enough. I'll come back to talk to you about your stages."
Draco calmly sat back on his pillows, watching the surprise and relieved look grace her features as the medicine took hold of his body. The woman smiled. "There…isn't that much better, Mr. Malfoy?"
"What's happening to him?" Hermione asked again, tears threatening to spill.
"Mr. Malfoy is very sick, Miss Granger. He needs medical assistance that he will be getting for the next three days here."
"What does he have?"
"I cannot tell you that, it's against the law. But I do want to tell you that you have been tested, and still given an antidote to be on the safe side. You do not have it, Miss Granger, so be thanking any deity that you believe in for not having it," the mediwitch said severely.
Hermione watched as Draco groaned, his eyes fluttering close. "Hermione?" he muttered. She stood from her spot on the floor, watching as Madame Pomfrey turned and went back to her office. Hermione stepped over to Draco.
"Yes love?" she whispered, tears spilling down her cheeks.
"I love you, I'm so sorry about this…I never meant to cause any type of infection to enter you," he said groggily. Hermione shook her head, which ended up resting on Draco's chest.
"It doesn't matter Draco…If you died, I would die alongside you," she whispered. Draco began to cry as Hermione moved to kiss him on the lips. "I love you," she whispered, wrapping her arms around his body. "I'm so sorry about what's happened. I'm never going to hurt you again Draco, I promise you. I'll never hurt you again."
AN: Do you love me or hate me for this? It had to happen; I'm trying to make this story as realistic as possible. I know you all might want to kill me for making Harry and Ron mean, but put yourself in their shoes. If you found out that someone that has teased you, manipulated you, and potentially hurt your best friend had some sort of problem, wouldn't you take advantage of that? Wouldn't you kick them while they're down? I don't think women would (as you can see, Hermione fled from the scene) but I think men would swoop down and tear that situation apart. Harry and Ron simply hate Draco. And although what they did was horrible, in their eyes it's justice.
As for the disease: I hope you all know what he's contracted. I tried to make it obvious. I sort of knew I would give this to Draco when I wrote the story. Also, to answer a question I know I'll receive:
Doe's Lucius Have the Disease?
My answer: no, because according to what Snape said (and was correct about) is that love protects a person from the disease. And at the time, Draco loved his father, so no. Lucius is not sick.
Thank you for reading, I will answer any questions you may have in the next update, so please, leave them in your comments. Thank you, and love you all!
PS—Sorry for any grammar mistakes! eek!