Chapter Thirteen

Once More

For the next half hour no one said anything, but they were always together, mostly in pairs -- Annie and Mattie, Xena and Gabrielle, Annie and Xena, or Mattie and Gabrielle. It was as if the experience was so intense, so moving, there was nothing that could be said. Yet they were always just a touch away -- a hand on an arm, or a caress of the hair or cheek, or an occasional hug.

Xena was the first to finally say something, mainly to Gabrielle, but for all of them. "It's so hard for me to believe our love was so boundless, and our lives were so filled with passion for each other. The lust I can understand. But this is all new to me -- the memories of the selflessness. I know I only have Alti to blame, but I had no idea...."

"I think it will eventually come back to you," Mattie replied. "If we can endure one or two more sessions all those positive residual memories and feelings that have been suppressed will be free to express themselves."

"I, for one, would like to continue," Annie said. "It saddens me that those precious memories are so faint. As painful as some of them are, I wish they were as fresh as when they happened."

"That makes two of us," Gabrielle agreed. "My memory probably isn't much better than Xena's. But I do think I remember more than she does, especially the good times. Do you think we can go back to some of them?"

"After those two, that sounds like a good idea," Annie said. "Do you have any place in particular in mind?"

"Do you remember the poem Xena got Sappho to write for me -- us, for our birthday? That was probably the best birthday gift I ever got." She sighed wistfully. "I wish I knew what happened to the scroll."

"You're right, it was a very happy birthday, even with the pranks." Mattie agreed, casting a knowing grin at Annie. "I think it can be arranged."

Again, they sat in the squared circle formed by the chairs and held hands.

"Okay, everyone. You know the drill," Mattie said. "Eyes closed. Watch your breathing, and concentrate on that moment in time. We were on the cliff overlooking the sea. The sun was setting. And counting. One -- two-- three -- four --"

"I'm really sorry, Gabrielle. I didn't realize Sappho was only here for one performance," Xena apologized.

"It's the thought that counts, Xena -- although I would like to hear her read her poetry one day." After a short pause, Gabrielle asked, "How did you fall for my fish-guts gag?"

"I don't know."

"You knew that I would go crazy waiting for you to get even. I guess you didn't see it coming," Gabrielle said as she drank from a cup Xena gave her, a dribble cup that left water dripping off her chin.

"Now, we're even."

Gabrielle laughed, relieved it was the last prank.

"Here, give me that. I want you to close your eyes."

Suddenly, Gabrielle was suspicious again. "No."

This time it was Xena's turn to laugh. "Trust me, please."

Still laughing, Gabrielle repeated herself. "No."

"Close your eyes."

Still a bit reluctant, Gabrielle complied and Xena laid a scroll on her lap.

"What is this?"

"Open it. I had Sappho jot something down for you."

"A poem? Sappho wrote a poem for me? I don't believe it. Xena -- you had this planned all along, didn't you?"

Unrolling the scroll, Gabrielle began to read it aloud --

"There's a moment when I look at you And no speech is left in me.
My tongue breaks.
Then fire races under my skin and I tremble.
And grow pale for I am dying of such love
Or so it seems to me."

Gabrielle looked at Xena with unconditional love in her eyes. "It's beautiful. This is the best birthday present I have ever had."

"Aw-w-w-w." For some reason Xena was almost embarrassed, then recovered. " 'Course, it ain't over yet."

Then putting on the helmet of Hermes, Xena put her arm around Gabrielle and they flew out over the sea.

"Happy birthday, Gabrielle!"

Again, as they returned to the present, they were hesitant to speak. But this time, along with a few happy tears, they were all smiling. And they continued to hold hands and squeezed each other's with affection.

"Thank you again," Gabrielle said to Xena, "for the poem." Looking at Annie she repeated the thanks. "And thank you," she pointedly said to Mattie. "I wish I had your ability to go back like that. There are so many wonderful things I'd like to experience again."

"It's a great temptation," Mattie replied. "But I think it's more important to make new memories with those you love." She looked over at Annie and smiled, and was rewarded with a loving smile in return.

Just then the telephone rang.

"I guess we know who that it," Annie said as she got up to answer it. "Hello ... Things are pretty good. We've gone back three times now ... I think so ... No, you weren't in any of them ... Well, maybe we will, but right now we need to focus on Xena and Gabrielle. Anything going on there? Any police show up? ... Well, maybe they won't, but I wouldn't count on it ... Yes, I'll call when it's all over ... Okay. 'Bye ... 'Bye, Harry ... Yes, I promise, now goodbye."

"So, no cops, huh?" Xena asked.

"No, not yet anyway. Maybe when Ares tricked the detective, he told everyone we were clean. But I'm sure the warrant is still out on you."

"I'm getting hungry," Mattie said. "How about some lunch before we go again?"

"Sounds good to me," Gabrielle answered. Annie and Xena were also ready to eat.

"When we start back, I have a suggestion, since you're taking requests," Annie said.