A/N: Chapter 2, hope you like it.

Diclaimer: I don't own anything

Strawberry Gashes

Chapter 2


I feel alone here and cold here
Though I don't want to die
But the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything kills inside

--

He drove the 150 miles on a record time of two and a half hours, his hands shaking against the wheel the entire time. When he arrived at the hospital, he got out of his car, his bag forgotten, and raced up to the emergency entrance. He asked at the reception for the right floor, and then went to the elevator. Once he had pressed the button that would take him to her floor, he stuck his hands in his pockets. A million thoughts were running through his mind.

Why would she do this? She had seemed fine when he saw her last. Not great, but not like she'd wanted to kill herself. But then again, she'd changed so much since the last time he'd seen her. He probably had something to do with that as well. Luckily for his own mind, the elevator came a a halt, and he didn't have time to think anymore. He walked out when the doors opened, and turned right in the corridor, where he saw slide doors.

As he walked through the slide doors, he stopped. Right in front of him sat Luke, holding a sleeping Lorelai in his arms. On Luke's right sat Emily and Richard Gilmore, both of them silent and not looking at each other. On Lorelai's right sat Lane, crying softly. She was the only one who looked up when she heard him come in. She sprung out of her seat, and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"I'm glad you're here," she whispered, and Jess grabbed her arms and pried her off him.

"Lane, where's Rory?"

"She's sleeping," came Luke's voice, and Jess looked at his uncle.

"Can I see her?" Luke hesitated, and watched as his nephew's eyes turned desperate. "I need to see her,"

"She's in room 124," Luke said softly, compassion in his eyes. Jess gave an almost invisible nod, and then walked off to find Rory's room. As he walked down the hallway, his steps echoed and he suddenly felt like a man on death-row. The stark hospital smell made his nose itch, and he fought the urge to run. The all white walls blinded him, and reminded him off how much he hated hospitals.

Finally, he stood outside her closed door. Carefully, he pressed down the door-handle and opened the door. He stopped when he saw her laying in the hospital bed, her caramel-colored hair spread out like spider's legs on the pillow. She looked so small and fragile lying there, and he rubbed his sore neck. Her eyes darted back and forth under her closed eyelids and he couldn't help but to wonder what she was dreaming about. He literally felt sick to his stomach when he saw the thick white bandage on her left forearm that stretched all the way up to her elbow.

He hesitantly walked into the room, and sat in the uncomfortable looking chair next to her bed. 'why are hospital chairs always so uncomfortable?' he wondered.

"Rory, what have you done?" His voice was filled with emotion, and he felt his chest tighten. He leaned forward and buried his face in his hands, his elbows leaning on his knees. He looked up when he felt someone stroke his hand, and saw that Rory was awake, and looking at him.

"Hey Dodger," she said softly, her voice tired and her eyes hazy with sleep.

"Hey. How're you feeling?" he carefully took her hand in his, and gently massaged her knuckles. It was an act comfort, and she felt like crying again.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, her eyes downcast.

"For what?"

"For letting you down. Letting everyone down," she started to cry. "I just couldn't take it anymore. Everything's falling apart,"

"Oh honey," came Lorelai's voice from the doorway, and Jess looked over at her. She had tears running down her face. As she approached the bed, he stood up and dropped Rory's hand.

"I'll leave you two alone," he said and quietly left the room. When he came back to where the others were sitting, he sighed.

"Did she wake up?" Luke asked as Jess sat down in the seat next to him.

"Yeah," he replied, monosyllabic words seemed like the only thing he could say at the moment.

"Did you talk to her?"

"No," he felt Luke's eyes on him, but ignored them. Instead, he rubbed the bridge of his nose. He stood up, the smell of hospital was turning his stomach around. "I need a smoke," and so he left the waiting room. Luke looked after him as he went, sighing and wondering how it would end this time. He clearly remembered the times Jess has left Rory before, and how broken she'd been after each one of those times. He wasn't sure if she could deal with it all again.

Jess only got into the elevator before stress and rage was released from his body. He punched the metal wall hard, hissing in pain when his knuckles made contact with the solid, cool metal. His knuckles were bleeding, but he didn't care. In what seemed like a moment of clarity, he pulled the emergency stop button between floors. He slid down against the wall and lit a cigarette. He didn't know how long he sat there, but he managed to smoke half a packet before he finally had enough.

--

"Mom?" Rory said softly, and Lorelai stroke her hair gently.

"Yeah honey?"

"Could you bring Jess in here? I wanna talk to him,"

Lorelai nodded and stood up. "Sure I will," she dropped a kiss to the top of Rory's head, and then left the room. When she came out to the waiting room, she noticed that Jess wasn't there.

"Where's Jess?" she asked Luke.

"He went out for a smoke," Luke replied, and Lorelai nodded softly before walking in the direction of the elevator. She had no idea why Rory wanted Jess there, but she had learnt that there was no use arguing with Rory about Jess.

When she came to the elevators, the door opened and Jess stepped out, followed closely by a cloud of smoke.

"Geez Jess, are you trying to send smoke signals from there or something?"

Her words triggered his memory.

"Did you call me at all?"

"No,"

"Did you send me a letter?"

"No,"

"Postcard?"

"No,"

"Smoke signal?"

"Stop!"

"A nice fruit basket?"

"Enough!"

"Jess?" Lorelai looked worried at the blank look on his face.

"Yeah, sorry. Did you want something?"

"Rory wants to talk to you,"

--

She looked up when a soft knock was heard on the door, and Jess stepped in.

"Your mom said you wanted to talk to me," he said, and walked up to her bed.

"I do," her hands twisted the hospital sheet nervously. "I don't want to talk about what happened,"

He was somewhat relieved by that; he wasn't ready to talk about that, not here, not now. "You don't have to,"

She looked at him, their eyes locking just like so many times before, and she blurted out. "I want to go back to Philadelphia with you,"

Like it? Loathe it? Love it ? Let me know.