Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls

Strawberry Gashes

Chapter 4

The poison that runs its course through her
pale white skin with strawberry gashes
all over, all over

--

"First I want to say that I didn't try to kill myself,"

He frowned. "Why did you tell them you did?"

"I never told them, but it looked like I tried to. It was just easier to let them think that I did,"

"Then what happened?"

"I..." he could hear her voice crack, and moved a bit closer to put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I started cutting over a year ago. I can't tell you why, because you wouldn't understand," she paused, and closed her eyes. For a brief second, she was back in the bathroom where it had happened, so she opened her eyes again. "It wasn't supposed to happen that way, honestly. I was in so much pain, I couldn't resist it anymore. I made a tiny knick in my wrist, but it didn't give me the relief I craved, so I pushed deeper and tugged harder," she felt so vulnerable telling him this, and was glad the darkness gave her a small sense of being able to hide. Feeling her way around until she found his hand, she then pressed it against her left wrist.

He could clearly feel the abrasions on her porcelain skin, even though most of her arm was made up by the bandage. He stroke her skin gently, on the sides of the bandage. Rory had trouble breathing. The feeling of his fingers gently stroking her scars kicked her senses into overdrive. She looked up at him, and moved closer to him, pressing her body against his.

"Thank you for letting me come here," she gave a half smile before she remembered he couldn't see her.

"It was no problem, you know that. I'm glad you came," he felt her hand stroke his cheek.

"Me too," she replied low, and then carefully pressed her lips against his. She automatically closed her eyes as she brought her hand up around his neck. He started kissing her back, too lost in the feeling of her lips on his to realize what he was doing. It was when her other hand went to the hem of his shirt, however, that he pushed her away.

"Whoah, Rory, hold on for a second," he sat up and turned on the lamp so that he could see her. She too sat up, and hugged her knees to her chest. She looked so fragile and lost the he drew her into his arms. "We shouldn't do this, you know that,"

She looked up at him, an unreadable emotion in her blue eyes. "Why not? Are you disgusted with me or something?" a flash of hurt ran across her face. 'why doesn't he want me anymore?' she thought. 'Is it because what I've done?'

Jess's eyes widened. "Rory, I could never be disgusted by you. You are still the only woman I love, and you know that," she couldn't help but to feel her heart flutter a bit at his words.

"Then why don't you want me?"

"I don't want to take advantage of you," she opened her mouth to speak, but he held up a hand to stop her. "No, let me finish. I've wanted you for 4 years, but not like this. Not while you're hurting. Can you understand that?"

She nodded, her eyes downcast. He tilted her head up so that he could look into her eyes, that were currently flooding with tears.

"How about we get some sleep?" he asked, a small smile playing across his lips, and she nodded. Turning out the light he brought her closer to her, and kissing the top of her head. "Sleep Rory,"

She closed her eyes, resting her head on his chest and wrapping an arm around his waist. It felt unbelievingly good to be this near him after all this time, and she wondered how she ever managed to sleep without him. Matching her breaths to his, she let his soft fingers running through her hair guide her to sleep.

--

When Rory woke up, she wondered where she was. Sitting up, she looked around before the previous night came crashing down on her. She realized then that she was alone, and she kicked off the covers before getting out of bed. She walked towards the kitchen, painfully aware that her legs were bare. Her scars were covered, but not by much. Suddenly, a voice was heard.

"Uh, hello?"

She looked up, and felt her face flush. In the kitchen stood a young african american man with untidy black hair and a curious expression on his face. She was too stunned to say anything, and only looked at him.

"I'm Chris," he said as he took one step forwards. "You must be Rory?"

She managed to nod, and turned a deeper shade of red when she realized that he had a perfect vision of her bare legs. Talk about embarrassing.

"Chris man, don't upset her," came Jess's voice, and Rory looked past the guy named Chris and saw Jess standing there, looking at them.

"I didn't say anything, man, chill out," he offered Rory a smile, and then left.

"I'm sorry about him, he's not completely house-broken yet," Jess smiled, walking up to her.

"I woke up and you were gone," she said quietly, not wanting him to know the panic she had felt.

"I had to open the store, but I was coming up to wake you now. It's almost noon,"

For the first time, Rory looked up at the time and saw that it was, in fact, almost noon. "I guess I was more tired than I thought," she half smiled, and he returned the gesture.

"You hungry?" he asked. Upon seeing her nodding, he continued. "We could order Indian food if you like,"

She raised an eyebrow. "But you hate Indian food," she stated, and he reached up to brush away a strand of hair from her face.

"Yeah, but you love Indian Food,"

She felt her heart tug a bit at the gesture. "Sure, let me just go and get dressed,"

--

As the day turned to evening, Rory felt panic rise in her. There was an open house at Truncheon in an hour, and she realized that Jess had to be down there, hosting. She wanted to be there with him, as support, but being around that many people made her nervous.

"Rory?"

She looked up from the book she had been reading, and met Jess' concerned eyes. He stood in the doorway, looking concerned at her. He looked great, and she felt her cheeks fluster. He was wearing dark blue jeans, a black blazer and a white t-shirt.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she assured him, but could see that he didn't believe her. He walked in and sat down next to her on the bed, and she put down the book. She smiled a bit when she saw the print on his shirt. "Hey, I'm on your shirt," she joked, and he raised an eyebrow, giving her an amused look even though the corners of his mouth tugged upwards.

"Are you coming down later?" he knew that she would be uncomfortable with that many people around, but a big part of him wanted her there with him.

"I don't know," she confessed. He watched her for a second before reaching out and stroking her cheek gently.

"It's your choice," he said, and stood up. He started to walk away, and she looked after him. He turned around in the doorway. "I'll wait for you there," he offered a simple smile, and then left.

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