DISCLAIMER:I don't own any anime series of my own—YET! :-D
Anger Management?! Ha—Psycho-Therapy is the Name
By: CelticPyroPrincess
Chapter Three: Strip Away Their Power
"How can I ever repay you Kisuke?" I huffed, placing a hand over my frantically beating heart. Within minutes, he and the Urahara gang had all of my monster clients sitting politely in seats, sucking on giant lollipops with frightened looks on their faces.
"How about you meet me back at my place—say around eight-ish. And oh, wear something really sexy." Kisuke gave me a playful wink, and I gave him a very serious shove out of his seat.
"You're cute and all, but you're older than my grandparents…."
"More experience, my dear." Kisuke winked at me, and Ichigo hit him in his head.
"STOP FLIRTING WITH THE GIRL!"
"You hurt my hat," Kisuke pouted, fixing his abused hat.
"Sorry to interrupt you, Mr. Kisuke," Tessai said. "But what are we going to do now?" He motioned to all of the candy-suckling before him.
Kisuke stood, brushing himself off. "I suppose we should take away all of their weapons. For safety issues."
"NO!" Kenpachi yelled around his candy. "A captain's zanpatou is sacred!"
"I have no weapons," Naraku said, smiling.
Kisuke grinned. "Well, your powers are manifested from you spiritual energy, am I correct? You are a demon."
"Yes," Naraku said.
"Then, I suppose that this would work." He then slapped a pink smiley sticker on Naraku's hand. Kisuke then held his fan up to his face, but his grin was not covered.
"What is this?!" Naraku demanded. "It's a sticker! What the hell do you intend to do with a pink sticker?!" He tried to peel it off, but as soon as the sticker peeled a little off his hand, Naraku was given a nasty little shock. He feel out of his seat, his eyes wide.
"Aah, aah, ahh," Kisuke teased waggling his finger. "It responses to my spiritual pressure, and mine alone. If you try to take it off, it'll shock you."
"That hardly hurt!" Naraku hissed, and tried to peel the sticker off again. This time, it shocked him ever harder than before.
"Keep doing that, and you'll eventually kill yourself," Kisuke chuckled. "With each successive shock, the shocks get a lot stronger, until they become lethal. The stickers also nullify all spirit energy, and I can focus my own into them to trigger the shock."
"You should be in this workshop, too!"
"Oh no," Kisuke said. "I can control my maniacal urges." He turned to face the rest of the guys. "Now, you all put you weapons in the middle of the floor, and then you can get your Regulation Stickers from Tessai, Ururu, or Jinta."
On one moved, but K. Once all fifteen of his guns where on the ground, Ururu gave him a yellow sticker.
"There Mister," Ururu said. "You're one step closer to being not so crazy."
"Thank you, Claude." I smiled. "Schuldig?" I said.
My sexy secretary grinned, already knowing what I wanted. He stared at the guys, grinning, his hands on his hips. A few seconds passed, and then, all of my clients were screaming and pulling at their hair.
"I WOULD NEVER DO THAT WITH IKKAKU!" Kenpachi screamed, clawing at his face. "NEVER!"
Alucard was on the floor, rolling around with his thumb in his mouth. "God! I never wanted to see Integra naked! Ever! Never! Never! Oh God, my eyes!"
Schuldig chuckled darkly, his eyes taking upon a strange gleam.
Naraku chuckled. "Oh, Sesshy…."
Schuldig frowned, and then concentrated some more.
"Wait…Jaken? OH MY GOD!"
"Where are my knives?" Farfarello said, looking confused. "Oh. There they are. Nagi, why the hell are my knives in your…thong? MY EYES! STAB MY EYES OUT!"
Gin was slamming his head into his chair. "RANGIKU ISN'T A HAIRY, FAT MAN WITH BODY ODOR PROBLEMS! SHE CAN'T BE!"
"Himiko," Akabane was saying. "No, no, NO! NO! DON'T! NO! PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON—AAH GOD, SHE'S BIGGER THAN I AM!"
Kisuke sniggered. "This is fun."
Jinta laughed out loud. "Tell me about it."
Ichigo turned to me. Before he could ask, I answered.
"Schu's a telepath."
"Ooh. Remind me not to make him mad."
K blanched. "I will do everything you tell me to."
"You better sweetie," I said, with a grin.
As cries of anguish rose into the air, Raito (Light) Yagami stepped into the room. He glanced around, looking somewhat amused.
"Hi, Kira," I said, smiling. "You mind giving me your Death Note?"
"What Death Note?" Raito hissed, his eyes narrowing.
I pointed to the black book underneath his arm. "That one."
"You're crazy!"
With a growl, I jumped at him.
"Kilala, NO!" Kisuke yelled, but it was too late. I grabbed on to the Death Note, and then find myself face-to-face with Ryuk.
"HOLY MOTHER OF COW DUNG!" I shrieked upon seeing the rater hideous Death God.
Ryuk smiled, hovering above me. "You got any apples?"
"That's all done," Schuldig said.
All of the guys were curled up in the floor, assuming the fetal position. They are had stickers on various parts of their body, and their weapons were stacked up neatly in the floor.
"Hey, Kilala," Schu said, walking over to me. "I'll take that Death Note thing."
"NO!" I cried, but it was too late.
"HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?!"
"You have some apples, cutie?"
Schuldig looked like he wanted to faint.
"These people," Kisuke said, shaking his head. He slapped a sticker on Raito's forehead. "I suggest you don't touch that."
"Why—ARGH!" Raito rubbed his head. "It shocked me."
"It'll only get worse!" Naraku whimpered.
"Look at them," Ichigo whispered in awe. "They're all on the floor, whimpering and sucking their thumbs."
"Their power have been stripped away," Tessai said.
"Therapy can now begin," Kisuke said, laughing.
"How can I ever repay you?"
"Meet me at my place after this, and make sure you wear something see-through and lacey." Kisuke held his fan before his, and winked at me.
Ichigo and I both punched him in the face at the same time.
Wow. Three chapters in one day. I won't have anymore up for a while, because my mom is kicking me off the computer cuz she says I stay on too logn. Whatever that means. I hope you liked it! Keep those reviews comin'!
OWARI!