Chapter 5
We arrived home at the same time we saw Edward hop into his Volvo. I don't think he saw us(or heard us) so I quickly ran over and tapped on his window. He jumped in his seat and looked up with a surprised look. He opened the door and swiftly pulled me into his arms.
"Hello, love." He whispered into my ear. I would have blushed at that but thank God I can't.
"EDWARD! REMEMBER! I DON'T WANNA SEE BELLA NAKED!" Emmet called over to us. That got him a smack from Rose and I giggled softly.
Then I heard Edward growl. I looked up at him, surprised. Why was he growling? Maybe it was something Emmet was thinking...
"What, Edward?" I looked up, trying to dazzle him. I think it worked because he stopped breathing for a few seconds.
"I just got a glimpse of what happened to you at Mike's from Emmet." He grabbed my hand and lead me into the house. I ran upstairs to the extra closet Alice got me and got changed into a comfy pair of jeans and tee-shirt. I ran backstairs to find everyone sitting where they were sitting before. That's when I realized it would be my turn to dare someone.
I sat down on Edward's lap and he whispered in my ear, "Choose Jasper. He won't get mad if it's something too outrageous." Nobody looked at Edward or me so I guessed they didn't hear what he had just said. Alice's eye's shot up and I guessed she had got a glimpse of me choosing Jasper.
"Jasper? Bella chose you!" Alice jumped up and down in his lap.
"Oh. Ok. Bella?" Jasper looked at me.
"Truth or Dare?" I asked, confidently.
I heard a sigh from him and he said, "Truth." Everyone groaned. Greaaaat...
"Oh... Uhm..." I looked at Edward and lifted off my shield, showing him what I was going to ask Jasper. He nodded his head slightly. I let my shield back around my mind and asked Jasper the question.
"If anyone in this room could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would you make them do?" Emmet snickered, probably thinking something nasty and Alice smiled, seeing the future. Then she shot a glance at Emmet.
"Oh! That's easy. I would make Emmet my slave and have him clean up after any kind of wrestling match we had." I laughed. Jasper and Emmet always broke something whenever they had their matches and then they would fight over who would have to clean it up.
"Okay! Now you choose someone Jasper!" Alice pecked Jasper on the cheek.
"Emmet." He looked at Emmet deviously.
Emmet's POV(I'll only do this when I feel the chapter needs to be funny!)
La dee da dee da dee daaa! Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the waaaay! Oh what fun it is to ride in a... one... horse... open SLEEEEIIIGH!
This game is so boring when there's not a funny dare going on... Wait. What was Bella's question again? Oh yeah. Who would you want for a slave for a day and what would you make them do? And she asked Jasper. Hehe. I know what I would have my slave(Rosalie) do! Rosalie would be trapped in my room all day as my slave! Hehe -dirty thoughts-
I looked at Edward and saw his face in pain. He gave me a look, telling me to stop thinking my dirty thoughts. Hm. Fine. I'll think about Bella doing-
Edward shot a reaaaally scary glare at me... Okay. Never mind on the whole Bella thing... Maybe I can turn Edward on by picturing Bella strip-
Oops! I got an even scarier look from Edward. Fine. I'll go back t o singing Jingle Bells.
"Emmet." Wait... Whaaa? Who called my name? I looked over at Jasper and he had this devil-looking face on.
"Who said my name?" I looked around and saw Bella smack her forehead. Why does she think I'm an idiot? I just get sidetra-
"OOH! BIRDY! EDWARD THERE IS A BIRD OUTSIDE! WHOAA!" I jumped up and down. Why is this bird so special? You might be asking. Because I said so! Don't question the almighty Emmet!
"Emmet... Can't you just... stop thinking. It's painful listening to you think." Well that wasn't very nice. Edward is so mean! He shot me a look saying he didn't care.
Well you are! Earlier today you were even criticizing my boobies! Why would you even be looking there Eddie-kins? I thought you were married! I snickered. I loved having Edward being able to read what I was thinking sometimes... Other times?... Not so much.
"Emmet. Just pick truth or dare." Everyone was looking at me like I was crazy! What did I do? It's not like I just randomly stood up and screamed because I saw a bird!
"Dare!" I was always the daring type.
"Okay. You have to run around Bella's old house's neighborhood screaming the Annoying Song." Annoying Song? What was that? And how come I wasn't aware of a song so annoying it was named the Annoying Song? (A/N- And I think you know what song I'm talking about! If not, be glad you've never heard it before!)
"What Annoying Song?" Everyone groaned. Wow. This song must be annoying! Woohoo! This is gonna be great! Once I learn it, I can annoy Edward with it by screaming it in my head! Yes! Jasper stood up and started singing it. The lyrics weren't annoying. Just the tune. This song is amazing!
Annoying Song:
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
And this is how it goes!
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
And this is how it goes!
(Repeat until the people next to you scream their heads off!)
Wow! I love this song! It is sooo cool! I started singing it in my head, getting Edward annoyed who got Jasper mad. When Edward gets annoyed, it's a burning kind of annoyance. At least that's what Jasper says. He doesn't really like it when he has to feel Edward's annoyance. Hehe. I'm evil. I'm able to get two vampires upset just by singing a song in my head!
"Oh. And Emmet. There's something else that I wanted to add onto the dare. Jasper, may I?" Edward stood up and that caused Bella to pout because she was no longer sitting on Edward's lap. She was sitting on the couch with her arms crossed. My little sister is so hilarious. I almost forgot what Edward said until Jasper spoke up.
"Sure. Why not?"
"Okay Emmet. You have to do it in your boxers. And you have to wear a pair of Rosalie's underwear on your head." Edward and Jasper smirked at me while Rose's eyes widened. Guess she didn't want to share her man's sexy 'bod with the other people in Bella's old house's neighborhood... Hehe. I love my Rose. Always thinking about me.
"Why does it have to be my underwear?! Why not anyone else's?! His head is to big for my thongs!" Or she was thinking about her underwear. Oh well. I would be too... I wonder what a thong feels like when you wear it... Ouch. Looks like it hurts... I saw Edward grimace at my train of thought. Then he gave me a weird look and I just smiled sheepishly. Hehe.
"Because Alice's definitely won't fit Emmet's huge, empty head and Edward will attack me if I let Emmet wear Bella's." Jasper had good reasoning... Wait did he just call my head empty? Nahh... He was talking about someone else. I wonder who has the same sexy name as me? Hm.
"Fine." Rosalie crossed her arms and ran upstairs to get one of her thongs. Wait. Why is she getting a thong again? I promised I wouldn't rip anymore of them off of her before we do it... so why does she need an extra one?
.....OH! Right! The dare! Hehe. Woops. Guess I forgot about that. I told you I get sidetracked easily... Ooh! There's Rosalie! Time for the dare!
We hopped into different cars and drove to Charlie's house. This was going to be fun. But what if Charlie doesn't like me after this? I can't have my little sister's dad not liking me!
"He's over at Billy's house, watching the game. We're all going into Bella's old house first so you can strip down to your boxers. Then you have to run around the neighborhood two or three times before we go home." Hehe. I giggled when he said strip. Hehe. They wanted me to give them a strip show? Hehe. Edward smacked his forehead.
We walked into Charlie's house/Bella's old house(since she lives with Edward at night... because I'm sure Charlie's house can't handle their games at night! Hehe) and Rose handed me my- I mean her- underwear. I put it on my head and stripped down to my boxers.
"I'm ready!"
"Ugh. Man, that is gross!" We all turned to Jake, surprised. I guess we all forgot he was here with Renesmee. Oops.
"Shut up, pup! My husband is adorable in his boxers!" Rose hit the dog and came over to peck me on my lips. Mmmm... She tasted delicious.
"Okay! Let's get this show on the road!" Adeen and Keelyn were standing next to Rose and Alice giggling. Adeen was too controlling. I didn't like her very much.
"Okay." I left the house and started singing the Annoying Song. Hehe. This was fun. I heard people groaning and saying "Damn kids" from their houses the first time around. The second time around, they left their beds to look out the window. The third time around, I was chased by anyone's dog if they had one. I hated dongs.
I decided to stop in front of Lauren Mallory's house on the third time around. I remember her being extremely mean to Bella during high school. It's time for payback...
I launched into a different song now. It was similar to to the "Milkshake song"(as Bella now calls it) from earlier. Only the words were different. I had heard some stupid kid call a radio station and sing this to the guys.
"MY POKEMON BRINGs ALL THE NERDS TO MY YARD," I started screaming my head off. My family and the Cathals noticed I was singing a different song now so they came out from hiding and were about to stop me until Edward read my mind to find out why I was doing this to Lauren's house and stopped them. "THEY'RE LIKE, 'I WANNA TRADE CARDS,' I'M LIKE, 'MINE ARE BETTA THAN YOURS. I CAN TEACH YOU BUT I CHARGE HARD!'" Bella looked wide-eyed at me. I'm guessing she recognized the "melody" from earlier.
"Emmet?" Adreana looked at me, scared.
"Hm?" I asked.
"There is a really pissed girl standing behind you..." I turned around and saw Lauren looking at me pissed. Hehe. Then she saw who was behind me and got a dazed look on her face. She started walking towards Edward. So I, the mighty vampire Emmet, decided to save the day.
"WOMANIZER, WOMAN, WOMANIZER, YOU'RE A WOMANIZER, OH! WOMANIZER, YOU'RE A WOMANIZER BABY!" I bursted out singing my favorite Brittney Spears song. This song is just amazing. Crap. I forgot the rest of the words! Oh well. I'll just sing my favorite part again! "WOMANIZER, WOMAN, WOMANIZER, YOU'RE A WOMANIZER, OH! WOMANIZER, YOU'RE A WOMANIZER BABY!" Finally! It worked! Lauren turned around, screamed, and stomped back inside her house.
"We better get out of here. She's going in to wake up her dad and get his gun..." Edward looked at me. But this is fun. Fine. We ran back to Charlie's house to grab my clothes and the cars. This is fun. I wonder who I'm going to dare next... Muahahahahahahaha!
A/N- Haha. I love Emmet. Don't you? His thoughts are just so... random! Next chapter might be in Edward's POV so you can hear what everyone is thinking! Then it will go back to Bella and change to Emmet when I don't think the chapter is funny enough! Oh yeah and this was the chapter I already had written... Whoever has an idea for a dare that I like, I'll dedicate the next chapter to you! Reviews please!