A/N- Awh! Thanks you guys for the "good lucks"!!!! And it was a very boring Fine Arts Festival. It was in our gym and we had to sit on the bleachers. Then, when we had to sing we had to get up and walk over to the stands. It was so annoying! Anyways, my solo went great and it was funny because some chorus director dude was there so he heard my solo in "Ose Shalom"! So I'm excited that he'll like ask me to join a famous choir or something! Wouldn't that be great?! Anyways, here's the next chapter!

Chapter 9

Emmett's POV(I think Emmett is going to have a lot of POVs in the rest of this story...)

I think I know what Bella feels like whenever she is dragged to the mall by Alice. IT WAS TERRIBLE! At least Alice go me the socks I needed... YAY!

OH! And I got a hot dog! FINALLY! But I couldn't eat it... stupid vampire disabilities! So I copied myself from yesterday with the ice cream. I just smushed my hot dog all over Bella. It was funny!

MAY HE POOP ON MY KNEE? MAY HE POOP ON MY KNEE? KITTY ALL GO SEE MUCH A FINNY-D! COULD YOU TELL IT TO HER MAID, AND SEE ME BE? WON'T YOU MUSTARD MY HOLE WITH A GENIE BABE? WON'T YOU MUSTARD MY HOLE WITH A GENIE BAAABE? OOOH..... COLA! Man, I love that song! Jasper found it on youtube this morning before Bella and Eddie came over! It was so funny!(A/N-Sorry that is my friend's and I's favorite song on youtube! HAHA!)

"Emmett! I found a perfect purse to match that outfit!" Alice ran over to me and handed me the purse. It was pink with little tan D&B's all over it. They were kind of annoying! But it went with the pink collared Hollister shit I was wearing so... Yeah. And this skirt was riding up my butt! How do girls wear these things?!(A/N- A question I ask myself every time I'm forced into one of those God forsaken things...)

I was also wearing pink, sparkly pumps. I didn't understand why girls complained about them so much! They were actually very comfortable! Rose had forced a stuffed bra on my too. Now we were going to a wig store. They wanted to get me a blond wig.

"HEY BELLA? YOU NEVER TOLD ME HOW MUCH FUN YOU AND EDDIE-KINS HAD LAST NIGHT! DID YOU USE PROTECTION?!" I grabbed Bella and picked her up.

"Put her down, Emmett!" Rose came over and smacked me on the head. I just dropped Bella and grabbed Rose instead. As soon as I had her in my arms we were making out.

"YUCK! GO GET A ROOM!" Jake screamed. I laughed.

"Go away, dog!" Rose yelled at him.

Alice finally came out of the wig thing place and threw me a bag. I looked inside and pulled out a Hannah Montanan-ish looking wig. IT WAS SOOOO COOL! I was going to look so hardcore for this dare!

"Hopefully it fits his big, empty head." I heard Jacob whispering to Nessie.

"Who are you talking about Jakey-poo!?" I asked him.

"Erika." He replied. Oh yeah. That girl I was impersonating! Why haven't I met her yet?!

"How come everyone here knows this Erika chick except for me. It's not fair!" I pouted and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Because, Emmett. Erika is you!" Edward explained. But I'm not a girl! If I am that means Rose is... LESBIAN?! WHA?!

"No you idiot. Erika is a made up person. You are pretending to be her!" Edward yelled.

"Oooh. So Rose isn't a lesbo?" I asked.

"EMMETT!" Rose kicked me in the stomach. I screamed.

"BELLA! SAVE ME FROM THE SEXILY SCARY VAMPIE LADY ABOUT TO EAT ME!" I jumped onto Bella who fell on the ground. HA! She isn't stronger than me anymore! YES! WOOHOO!

"Emmett! Get off me! People are staring!" Bella hissed at me. I dragged her into a dressing room(since we were in the mall) and closed the door. Bella stared at me wierdly.

"UH! OH! OW! UH!" I started making weird noise and Bella's eyes widened. Edward barged in the dressing room, grabbed Bella, and pulled her away. I was mad! Then I looked at the people standing outside the dressing room's faces! THEY WERE HISTARICAL! I was dying laughing!

"Emmett! That was sick! Get over here!" Rose gave me a death glare. Oops!

After a long punishment from Rose, Alice dragged me to the pageant. Caroline was sitting at a table with a mirror backstage. Alice ran up to her and gave her a hug.

"CAROLINE! THIS IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN! Come on! I have a perfect outfit for your first round! It's sports! I got you and Erika tennis outfits!" She squealed and handed us both a tennis outfit. "Go get dressed and when you come back, I'm doing hair and makeup!" She squealed again. Bella flinched. I laughed.

I went to the dressing room and changed into the short skirt and tiny tennis shirt. Then I put on some plain white sneakers and looked at myself in the mirror. Not bad... Maybe I should cross-dress more often!

I went to Alice and she immediately started on my wig. Once she was done giving me pigtails on the top of my head, she threw some blush, eyeshadow, and mascara on me. Then Caroline walked out. AWWHH!!! SHE IS SO CUTE! She was wearing a mini version of what I had on and he hair was already in curly pigtails. She was wearing the same kind of make up as me. I thought she looked like a mini me! Except... more feminine.

"Wow! You are pretty! And very big!" She came over and hugged me.

I put on a high pitched voice. "Thank you Caroline!" I shot a glare at Edward. I didn't like this dare. Alice grabbed a white plastic bag and smiley evilly at me. What now?

"Erika! This is your dress for the last round! It's adorable! You'll love it!" Alice put the plastic bag with the dress in it down.(A/N-Dress link on profile)

"Why don't I get to see it?" I asked.

"Because I said so." Alice stuck her tongue out at me. Bella smirked at me.

"And next, we have Caroline and Erika!" The announcer dude called us out.

Bella's POV

HA! This is so funny! I'm sooo glad Edward came up with this idea! It was amazing! Emmett is so embarrassed! And I can't wait to see him in the God awful dress that Alice got him! I wonder what he'll do for the talent show! Hopefully Caroline won't be mad about the whole cross-dresser big sister.

Emmett walked out with Caroline. He was striking over-the-top poses and swinging his hips as much as he could when walking. I started giggling.

They walked back behind the stage and Alice dressed them in disco-ey, sparkly diva outfits. IT WAS SO FUNNY!

Then, Emmett went back out on stage with Caroline and they started singing Brittney Spear's "Stronger". That sent me into another round of giggles. Alice was rolling around on the floor laughing.

Emmett finished and walked back behind the curtains to a grinning Alice holding up the ugliest dress I had ever seen.

"NO WAY! I REFUSE TO WEAR THAT! NO! NO! NO! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!" Emmett was stomping his feet, simultaneously. He looked like a really mad cartoon character.

"You have to. It's part of the dare!" Adeen grabbed the dress, gloves, and shoes and shoved Emmett into a dressing area.

Emmett came out in the outfit and I bursted out laughing. Alice sat him down and ordered Rose to curl his wig. Alice started working on Caroline. Poor girl. She couldn't win because of Emmett.

"And last, we have Caroline and Erika in their dresses!" The announcer called Emmett and Caroline out.

"Well, I better make the most of this!" Emmett whispered and skipped onto the stage.

"Everyone! You all know I am Erika and that I am an amazing singer because I already showed you how good at singing I am. But, you don't know my sister Bella! She is almost as good as me and I want you all to hear her sing! She'll be singing 'Don't Cha' by the Pussy Cat Dolls!" My jaw dropped and my eyes widened. Emmett pulled me out on the stage and the music started. I walked over to Emmett, hit him on the head, and ran backstage.

"Awh. Looks like she's shy! Oh well! By!" Emmett ran backstage.

"Bella! You mad me look bad!" Emmett started whining.

"Erika! Go with Caroline out on the stage! The judges are announcing the winners!" Alice pushed Emmett out with Caroline.

"AND THE WINNERS ARE.....-drum rolls- ERIKA AND CAROLINE!" The announcer said.

"OH THANK YOU OH THANK YOU OH THANK YOU!" Emmett jumped on top of the judge and hugged him. Caroline tried to pull him off and the judges had to call security on Emmett. So, we were kicked out. Again.

A/N- Okay, I decided the next chapter will be the last because this story is losing it's funny-ness and I really want to start on another story!

I want it to be about the Cullens, Hales, and Bella all go to a boarding school and none of the families know each other yet. They will be vampires(except Bella). It's just that none of them are together yet and the Hales(Rose&Jasper) have some other vampires with them. The boarding school is going to be like a music and art school! Wouldn't that be cool? And I also want it to be a cross-over with Maximum Ride! I think it will be amazing! Haha, so review!