A/N:I actually got a review! My sad attempts at humor didn't completely suck! I'm using too many exclamation points again!

Now I have a few more days until I have to turn in my next superprocrastinated project, so on with the show! This is where it gets AU, although I'm trying to stay fairly close to the original plot. There's going to be even more spoilers in here, so be warned.

Chapter 1: Moving In

Conan blinked. Who was ringing the doorbell at five in the morning? Both Ran and his parents weren't morning people, and he could hear Agasa's rumbling snores even in the dining room. Briefly he considered if it might have been the Black Organization knocking, but he quickly discarded the thought. Honestly, he was getting as paranoid as Haibara!

Rubbing his eyes, he opened the door... and half regretted it. Despite the fact that he had gotten up at an ungodly hour, it was obvious to him that it was taking him an embarrassing amout of time to figure out what the hell was going on.

It was... Akai? But slightly shorter and younger looking, with slightly better dark eye circles. And in female clothing. And looking irritated about having to be outside in late autumn wearing a skirt.

Smirking slightly at Conan's profound confusion, Shuichi let himself into the house.

"No, you are not having a nightmare, although that might be preferable to what I currently have to do."

Still gaping slightly, the boy followed him in. All he could manage through his bafflement was a slightly strangled, "Why?"

"Vermouth." It was the clearest, most descriptive explanation he could have given.

Recovering what he could of his composure, Conan spoke out in what he hoped was a conversational tone.

"You could probably find better lodgings for your purpose, you know."

" True, but Gin's going to be watching my bank account, and I don't want to owe Vermouth any more than what I can avoid. I've witnessed her oh-so-charming ways of making you pay through the nose."

Conan winced in sympathy. Being manipulated by Vermouth was far from fun.

"Since your professor's made a habit of taking in black strays, I'll kill two birds in one by staying here."

"I'm curious. What exactly is your mission? Your first bird would be free lodging and the protection as a direct result of it, but what's your other goal?"

"In simplest terms, I'm supposed to look after your girlfriend better than you looked after mine."

So he knows everything? Crapcrapcrapimdoomedcrap----he had seen firsthand not so long ago the way his gaze could drive a man to suicide---- the way his shadow alone could crumble away all of Haibara's defenses----

"However, I realize that it's mainly my fault to begin with, so, provided that you don't neglect your poor girl too throughly for both of your sakes----".A dark look appeared on his deep green eyes, vanishing as quickly as it had surfaced,"----There's a decent chance that fate will prove kinder this time down the road, again, for both of you."

Akai yawned briefly, walking down the hall with a small suitcase in hand that Conan hadn't noticed earlier.

"My younger self resists lack of sleep less skillfully than my older body. I'm looking for a bed, if you don't mind."

And maybe I'll share some of your improved fate---- I really need it, he thought.

A/N: God, why do I always end up putting way to much dialogue in to my stories? I know perfectly well I hate it, but I still go through this every single do I always push myself in circles? I'm not a masochist, I swear!

Poor Conan's getting his guilt manipulated by Akai! Still, since it's his truly neglected girlfriend at stake, he won't really mind, would he?

There's a pretty short chapter this time, but mainly because I need to set the scene. Akai doesn't know that Haibara's around yet, but he will soon... Find out next time about how Akai deals with crossdressing both in his temporary home and out! It'll also mark the appearance of Ai, Ran, Agasa, and a certain ever-present drunkard!