The Host – Fanfiction

I in no way own or claim any rights to The Host or to Stephenie Meyer, this is purely FANFICTION!!

-The Human amongst Souls-

Chapter 2: A Night of Understanding

As I drifted to sleep I started to remember a long forgotten past. I repressed most memories of my existence before my Soul mother saved me from a life of adversity.

The dream was full of little flashes of my childhood.

The first was a flashback happened when I was five. My first day of school, I was nervous as any kid would be. But my mother showed no emotion. As I stepped out of the car she did nothing, said nothing. Other mothers were crying holding on to their children, giving them word of encouragement. None of this had made sense that day, but it does now.

Then at was my 8th birthday. I had begged and begged to have a party. My mother promised I could have one. I waited and waited, the friends were supposed to be there any minute. I sat by the door all night. No body came.

In the third flashback I was eleven. I was walking home from school, something I had started doing recently. My mother just couldn't seem to get herself up for me to arrive to school on time. I no longer (if at anytime) took priority in my mother's life. When I walked through the front door I could feel a change. Something was different. My mother walked out of the kitchen, and then the impossible happened. She gave me a hug. That was something she never did.

I felt a wave of emotions; shock, fear, cheer, sorrow. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I ran to my room and didn't come out. My mother didn't bother me until dinner was ready.

There wasn't much talk over dinner. Which could be normal, but any talk was abnormal for us. My brain was telling me something was wrong. But in my heart I knew what was happening had to be good.

The next few flashes were shorter but not insignificant. My new mother telling me she was a Soul, me excepting my mother, and then back to just the other day.

I was walking into the store, the empty store. Looking back I now saw what I couldn't register then. In the instant I felt a familiar pair of arms around me I saw in a far corner three men, one being Mr. Seagate with a white cloth held to his mouth. The other two were holding on to him. In another corner a girl, was small with long blonde curls. Then I smelled that funny smell. Even with the familiar arms I couldn't shake the anxiety. With that I awoke with a slight gasp.

My breathing had picked up, there were tears streaming down my face. After a short while, I started to calm myself down. My face was dry again. My breathing had slowed. 'Maybe I should try to get back to sleep.' I thought to myself. But I couldn't. My brain was on over load. There was too much to think about; so I did just that. I flipped through them one by one each segment of my life, with out exception, piece by piece. I came to terms with each one. Then I came to the most present. I couldn't find a reason for any of it.

Nothing made sense to me. I could now put names to the faces I saw. Wanda with the golden curls was to my right. Jared was with Mr. Seagate in his arms and the white cloth to his face. Doc was standing next to them. Then the familiar arms, why were they so familiar? Then it hit me.

Brandt.

Only his arms would seem familiar. Only him could I have remembered. Why? That was my only question. Why would they feel the need to ruin a beautiful world, my world? The only thing that mattered now was that question and how I could get it answered. But, could I ask it? Would I get an honest answer? Could I handle the answer if it came? As the questions flooded my brain I drew weary and fatigued. I started to slip back into sleep. I went back to the first day with my new mother. I was in my closet, arms wrapped around my knees. I was too tired to continue on a real crying jag. No coherent thoughts to inundate my already flooded mind. I silently wept small tears.

Again Brandt woke me with a gentle shake. Amazingly enough it was still dark. It was still in the night hours.

"Shh… Ray?"

"What's wrong is everything ok?"

I could feel the drying tears on my face. I hadn't only been crying in my dream. Am I to trust him any further? I had questions, and I needed them answered immediately.

"I need to know why." I stated, not a question. The tears continued.

"Why what?" Brandt had a look of concern on his face.

"How can you take a Soul…" I couldn't formulate my question, there was to much emotion. My breathing was erratic.

"Souls didn't do anything wrong, everything they do is out of love! They don't fight, they don't lie, and this world is a better place because of them. My mother, she, she…" Again I couldn't finish what I so desperately needed to say.

He sat next to me on my cot and just wrapped his arms around me, those familiar strong caring arms. I didn't know if this was right, but it was what I wanted. I wanted to trust Brandt. I felt I needed to trust him.

He took a deep breath and let out a hushed sigh.

"I am so sorry. We must look like a group psychopaths."

"But you need to understand that," he took another deep breath.

"Earth did have some horrible qualities, we understand that. We are not perfect, we all do wrong from time to time. But it is our life, our world. It isn't for others to claim.

Yes Souls by default are good. Some are even better, but that doesn't justify the choice to take our world from us."

I nodded my head as I understood and accepted this explanation. I however still felt an overwhelming emotion about my mother. I wouldn't want her replaced with the human 'mother'. I wanted Sapphire Petals Blow Gently to the East. She was my mother. I believe Brandt understood this. It was odd how much we could understand about each other with out saying much.

Brandt pressed his lips gently to my hair, and kissed the top of my head. It was an act to show concern and to bring comfort to me. He laid me back down; we just laid there.

My tears finally came to and end and slowly dried. Brant was patient as always. He didn't budge, not even once. Just laid there holding onto me, until I was ready to move or talk. At this moment I knew my heart was right. I could, would and should trust Brandt. Besides my mother, he was the only true, constant, honest, understanding, beautiful heart I knew and connected with.

For the last time that night I fell asleep. No dreams to frighten me again, not while in Brandt's arms. I was safe until morning.