---
Over the next few weeks things returned to normal with the exception of the anniversary of Kate's death. It happened to be on a Sunday, so the entire team met for breakfast and ended up spending several hours together remembering her. Ziva had joined for awhile, wanting to support her team, but it was hard. It had been her half-brother that had killed their friend, and she had been the one to kill him.
Two weeks after that Alex would've said life was finally back to normal. Gibbs had been spending more and more time at work, which meant only one thing. His relationship with Mann was coming to an end. While Tony and Ziva focused their extra attention on each other, and McGee spent his extra moments wrapped up in a plot for a new book, Abby and Alex took notice in every sign that Gibbs was one step closer to breaking it off with Hollis. They all but had a countdown calendar hanging in Abby's lab.
Gibbs decided to ignore their childish behavior. He knew they didn't like Hollis. He didn't really either, not anymore. He couldn't be with anyone whom his team didn't approve of. His team was his family, the only family he had left, and as childish as they often were, he wouldn't alienate them. Since Hollis had become a steady part of his life, he hadn't spent as much time outside of work with his team. Nights of poker with the team at Tony's had been replaced by a night at some show Hollis claimed to be interested. Tea at Ducky's had been replaced by fancy dinners at the latest restaurants that Hollis had read about. He still had Monday night dinners with Alex, but more and more frequently Hollis would show up and cut the evening short.
Hollis had just become a familiarity. It was nice to have a warm body lying next to him at night. He was a private person, so he decided not to announce his break up the way Alex would announce her Tetris score or how Tony would announce his latest fling – well, until Ziva had become that on-going fling. He decided to tell Ducky. He could see out of the corner of his eye that Abby was in the hallway. If Abby knew, then Alex would know. It wouldn't stay a secret for long. He knew if he had a true secret, it wouldn't spread, but this? This was good news to his team. It would spread like wildfire.
Abby was back in her lab and on the phone calling Alex down before Gibbs could finish the story to Ducky.
"What?" Alex gasped, out of breath from running down the stairs "What's the emergency?"
"Shh, not here" Abby grabbed Alex's hand and pulled her towards the elevator. They passed Gibbs and Abby shouted "we're going for coffee, DNA match is on the desk"
Gibbs smiled. Nope, he thought, that didn't take long at all.
Abby was quiet until after they ordered their drinks, but she kept a smile plastered on her face.
"You ready to spill?" Alex asked, curiosity plastered on her face.
"Outside, let's go to the park. Walls have ears, you know"
They found a bench to sit on, and Alex turned to Abby and shook her shoulders "You can't hold out on me anymore, Abby! What's going on?"
"Gibbs and Hollis broke up!!" Abby squealed.
Alex choked on her coffee and laughed. "About damn time, how do you know?"
"It's kinda like that website, , except it's a little different. It's called "
"Ooh, I have got to check that website more often. This is good news. I'm tired of her marching through the bullpen like she's part of our business. I have to congratulate him"
"Wait! You can't! He doesn't know that I know."
"Abby, did you see the look on his face when we passed him? He knows."
They linked arms as they walked back to the office. They paused around the corner from the bullpen. They saw that Gibbs was at his desk. Alex knew they couldn't just ignore it. Gibbs knew that they knew, and would be expecting some sort of remark. Abby waited by the water cooler as Alex strode confidently towards Gibbs desk. She paused in front him, "I heard the news…" Alex bit her lip to keep from laughing. "Hold that thought" Alex swallowed her laugh as she returned to Abby. "I don't know if I can do this".
"Go, go, go"
"Right, I can do this" Alex returned to her spot in front of Gibbs and waited for him to peer up at her. Tony, Ziva and McGee watched cautiously, unaware of what had happen. His eyes met hers and he dared her to continue "I heard the news. Congrats" Gibbs raised an eyebrow, avoiding showing any emotion. Alex rolled her eyes "Or, sorry for your loss. Take your pick" And with that Alex moved to the chair at her desk.
Ziva, McGee and Tony shot looks to each other and then turned to their computers. Three IM windows popped up on Alex's screen.
ItalianStallion: Details, darlin'?
ZivaD: What have I missed?
TMcG: ???
Alex responded to them all the same using their nickname for Hollis.
Lexus: Manneater is gone.
"Get to work everyone" Gibbs barked.
They all closed their windows and smiled inwardly. They continued with their work, the never ending pile of paperwork seemed to pile up faster than they could get through it. Gradually they all drifted in different directions. Gibbs headed up to the director's office, Alex made her way to Abby and McGee and Tony went in search of Ducky for some answers on their most recent case.
Ziva sat alone in the bullpen. The quiet was refreshing. It's not that she couldn't get any work done otherwise, but Tony was such a distraction. It didn't matter if he was flirting with her, or teasing McGee. He was a distraction. She almost didn't look up as the elevator dinged.
A man stood uncomfortably in the door way and scanned the bullpen. There was something familiar about him, but she just couldn't place it.
"Hello, I'm looking for special agent Evans"
"Hold on, she's…" Ziva suddenly felt the presence of Gibbs peering over the railing from above and McGee and Tony coming up from the stairs. "She's downstairs, I will call her up". Ziva picked up her phone and dialed the lab. Her eyes scanned at the men in the room until Alex's voice came on the line. "Alex, you have a visitor" Ziva hung up.
Tony, McGee and Gibbs closed in on the man within seconds. The ding of the elevator signaling that Alex was about to enter the bullpen was just the jolt Ziva needed. Slowly she turned her head to look at Alex's desk. The photo on her desk wasn't clear, but she had seen it hundreds of times before. This was that man.
Ziva jumped to her feet at the same time as Alex stepped out of the elevator.
Alex paused behind the man standing in front of her. "Can I help…" Her voice trailed off as the man turned around. Alex couldn't have described the feeling that took over her body as she dropped to the floor, steadied by several pairs of arms.
The first thing felt as she started to regain consciousness was a gentle hand in her own. She squeezed it. "Oh, Alexis, my dear, I do wish you'd stop ending up in my office this way" Ducky squeezed back. She opened her eyes expecting to see Ducky peering down at her, but was met by Gibbs blue eyes.
"Gibbs, I had the strangest dream. What happened?" When Gibbs didn't answer she thought back to her dream. "It was so, so real"
Tony walked into Autopsy "Boss, he wants to know if she's… Alex, you're awake"
"It wasn't a dream?" Alex asked herself. She stumbled as her feet hit the ground, but pushed past Gibbs who tried to steady her. She didn't bother waiting for the elevator and rushed up the stairs. The bullpen was empty, so she took the stairs to meeting room one. The door was cracked open and she saw Ziva sitting back in a chair. Alex flung the door open and saw Chris sitting opposite Ziva. Slowly she took a step forward and watched as Chris stood to face her.
She couldn't help the smile the broke out across her face. She launched herself into Chris' arms. She had dreamt of a similar situation many times, only she had imagined he would be all dirty and still in his uniform, having just escaped from being held captive. After an eternity of remembering, remembering his smile, his hugs, his smell, his kiss, Alex pulled back. "How? When? I've missed you so much, Chris" Tears welled up in her eyes instantly, and she could no longer see him in front of her.
Chris' eyes darted to Ziva and then to Tony and Gibbs in the doorway. "Sit down, sweetie". He turned to the other agents. "Could we have a minute, please?"
Gibbs and Tony opened their mouths to protest. Ziva didn't move.
"Chris, they are my team, my friends. They, they've helped me. They can be here too" Alex wiped the tears from her eyes and felt her gut tighten. This couldn't be good.
Chris felt uneasy. He crossed to the far side of the room.
"Lexus, I was hurt…"
"I know, but you died? Your mom called. Oh God, we have to call your mom!"
"My mom knows I'm alive. I've been staying with her"
A puzzled look flashed on Alex's face. The blood drained from Gibbs face when he realized where this conversation was going. He wanted nothing more to pound his fist into Chris' face, but he knew that Alex didn't need to see that. Not at this point. Instead he turned and stepped out of the room to wait outside.
"Lexus, I was hurt real bad. I didn't want you to… I couldn't let you see me like that. I wasn't sure if I'd survive and if I did, I wasn't sure if I would be able to walk. I couldn't be there for you the way you needed me, so…"
"So it was a joke?" Alex jumped up from her chair. Tony stepped forward to support her not wanting a repeat of her fall downstairs.
"No!" Chris stepped forward and reached out.
"You faked your own death to get away from me" Alex looked back to her fellow agents "Sounds like a joke to me" Turning back to Chris, she felt nauseous "I need a minute, but then we need to talk. Alone" Alex lifted her head high and walked out of the room and back down to the bullpen and sat at her desk. She fiddled idly with her gun, as all the pain from the last year burst to the surface.
She watched as Palmer hurried past her desk, obviously late from his lunch break. He gave her a weak smile and kept going.
Jamming her gun into her pocket and out of sight, Alex swiveled in her chair to look up at Tony. She nodded to him and he turned to say something. Moments later Chris was making his way down the stairs. The expression on his face was pained, but Alex didn't care.
She pushed herself up slowly from the chair and walked towards a conference room. She held the door open, and as Chris walked past her in to the room, he reached out to touch her cheek. Alex closed her eyes as his finger made contact with her skin. Just an hour ago she would've given up her right leg to feel his caress one last time. Now she had to fight back the wave of nausea it sent through her body. She shut the door and reminded herself to breathe.
"So… Why are you here?"
"Lexus, I love you. I'm here for you. I feel like myself again. I can walk. I'm ok"
Alex turned to face Chris "First of all, you lost the right to call me Lexus. Hell, after today you've the right to call me anything at all. Secondly, you asked me to marry you. That includes in sickness and in health. So I guess all that was a joke too?"
"No! None of it was a joke. I was hurt. And… and.. I don't know. I didn't want to be a burden to you the rest of your life"
"Don't you think that should've been my decision? I agreed to marry you, you know. That meant in sickness. I agreed to it. If I had been so shallow as to not want you as a burden I would've said so. But you know me! I never would've done that. I loved you!"
"Alex-"
"No! Do you have any idea how hard my life has been the past year? I thought my life was over. I've relied on my friends here more than I ever thought possible. Do you know how much alcohol I've consumed? How much money I spent on re-decorating? Hell, now I just feel like burning it to the ground" Alex could hardly see again as the tears began to come quicker. She moved to the opposite side of the room. "I convinced myself that you were some sort of hero who died in war. I keep your picture on me at all times" Alex dug the photo out of her wallet, crumpled it and threw it Chris.
Her hand return to her pocket where her gun was, she wanted him to feel loss like she had. She wanted him scared.
---
Gibbs, Tony, Ziva and McGee waited outside the door. They couldn't hear anything, so that meant Alex wasn't yelling; yet.
Jenny paused and peered down the hallway. Nearly the entire team was hanging around in the hallway. She would expect it of Tony, maybe McGee, but Gibbs? Something was off.
"And just what might you guys be doing?" Jenny was slightly irritated.
Gibbs eyes never left the door. Tony turned to Jen and put a finger to his lips. Ziva grabbed her arm and moved her a few steps away to explain the situation.
When Palmer past the same hallway again he paused at the group of agents, including the director, listened at the door. "Um, what's going on in there?"
"Alex" McGee answered as if it would answer Palmers question. Ziva pulled him away and explained the same way she had for Jenny.
"You let her in there with a gun? Wow, with something like this, I wouldn't think she'd have much control"
Gibbs was in his face faster than he could blink, "A gun?"
Palmer shifted uncomfortably "um… well, yeah. I just walked by her when she was at her desk. She had her gun in her hands"
Gibbs covered the space between Palmer and the door, and had the door open before Palmer could finish. Gibbs opened the door to find Alex on the far side of the room holding a gun to her head, her eyes were red and her cheeks were wet with tears. She was yelling at Chris who stood across the room. His hands were held out, begging her to put the gun on the table.
"How do you feel, Chris? How do you feel at this very moment" Alex screamed. She saw the door open and the look on Gibbs face followed by the look on the other faces broke her heart. They weren't supposed to see this.
"Alexis" There was a weakness in Gibbs voice.
She held up her hand to stop Gibbs from walking closer and continued yelling, "You feel that? The tightening in your chest, the difficulty breathing? That's how I felt. That's how I felt for months!" Alex lowered the gun. "You felt that for seconds and you look ready to cry like a baby. I had to live with it for months. I never want to see you again? Understand? If you see me walking on the street, you'd better cross to the other side, or step inside a shop until I'm gone. Better yet, go back to the West coast and live with your mother. I don't want to hear from her either"
Alex gave a sad laugh and removed the clip from her gun to show that it was empty "I wouldn't kill myself over you".
The team was paralyzed as she walked past. Never before had Alex seen such a look of terror, anger and sadness in Gibbs eyes. She regretted the fact that they had walked in during that point. She had removed the bullets while sitting at her desk. She liked drama and knew that waving a gun around in front of Chris would dig into his heart, but she hadn't planned on her team seeing it. She would have to apologize at some point.
Alex got in her car and drove. She drove for hours. When it started to get dark she pulled through a drive-through and ordered a burger. She took two bites and threw the rest away. Pulling into her own driveway she looked around. On the off chance that Chris was waiting around for her to get home, she wanted to be able to drive away. Satisfied that he wasn't around, she got out and went inside. After shutting the door Alex walked around the house. There was no way she'd stay the night in that house. She went to the kitchen and reached deep into one of the cabinets.
Back in her car, she couldn't drive fast enough. Pulling onto Gibbs street she was shocked at the number of cars parked. Wait a minute, the mini cooper? That was Ziva's car. And the hearse? That belonged to Abby. Across the street she saw Tony's car and behind it was McGee's. Ducky had pulled his car into the driveway. This should be fun.
Alex pushed the door open as quietly as she could. She could hear the chatter of the team coming from the basement.
"I'll kill him. I won't leave any evidence. I promise" She heard Abby's voice. She was halfway down the stairs before they noticed her.
"Had I known there was a group meeting, I would've brought more" Alex held up two bottles of bourbon.
The team shifted uncomfortably as they watched her. All except Gibbs, he refused to look at her. The first to move was Abby. She launched herself at Alex and held her in a tight hug. "We were so scared" Abby pulled back and after a moment's hesitation slapped Alex across the face. Not hard enough to leave a mark, but hard enough to get her point across and then wrapped her arms around her friend again "I can't believe you held a gun to your own head!"
"I know. I'm sorry. I didn't think you guys would see that. I mean, I emptied my gun first. I had no intention of shooting myself. I really am sorry. After what I went through, losing him and then Kate… I would never leave you guys intentionally, I swear. I'll never do it again. I promise." Alex looked from person to person. She watched them all nod, understanding her logic. Everyone except Gibbs, he still refused to meet her gaze.
The team felt the tension and slowly began moving towards the stairs as a group. Alex kept watching Gibbs as one by one her friends kissed her cheek as they passed by and moved up the stairs to leave. When she heard the door shut for the last time she prayed that Gibbs would say something first. She had no idea what she could possibly say, especially after she had seen the look of terror in his eyes earlier.
"Gibbs, I'm so sorry"
He was across the room in a flash, his hands on her shoulders, angrily shaking her "What. Were. You. Thinking?"
Alex wanted to cry. The reality of what she had done slowly started to sink in. She could only imagine the pain and terror she would feel if she had walked in on Gibbs doing the same thing "I wasn't thin-"
She didn't have a chance to finish. Gibbs pulled her into a tight hug. With one hand at the back of her neck and the other on the small of her back, Gibbs held her tight to his body. The fresh scent of her shampoo sent him over the edge and for the first time in his adult life since Shannon and Kelly died, Gibbs cried.
Alex soon realized that Gibbs wasn't supporting her, she was supporting him; figuratively and literally. She was fairly sure that if she had stepped backwards, he would've fallen to the floor. She tightened her grip around his shaking torso and let him cry. When she sensed he was finished, she let go briefly so they could slide down to the floor. They sat, backs against the work bench without saying anything, until Alex grabbed one of the bottles of Jack. She tossed the cap to the floor and took a long drink. Gibbs reached for the bottle and Alex swatted his hand away and said "hey, get your own" as she reached for the second bottle and handed it to him.
He shook his head and took the opened bottle from her hand. "You aren't going to kill yourself with alcohol tonight. You can share this bottle"
Reluctantly Alex handed over the bottle. "I… I wasn't going to kill myself, you know?"
"Do I?"
"Gibbs! Life has gotten back to normal at NCIS, you dumped the Manneater, uh, Hollis and now I can breathe freely at the office and not worry about 'her' prancing around. I couldn't kill myself. I couldn't do that to you"
"How does the end of my relationship with Hollis have anything to do with this?"
Alex thought for a moment and took another swig from the bottle "It doesn't"
"Then I don't… never mind. You really didn't like her, did you?"
"Oh Gibbs, she was such a bitch"
"And you…?"
"Oh, completely a bitch, but it's different, you see…"
"Lex, I really don't want to know"
"Oh, well, back to the point Gibbs. I would never kill myself. Not for anyone. Except maybe you"
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"It just means that I worry about you and if something happened to you, I think my life would end"
"You worry about me? I wasn't the one with a gun to my head"
"An unloaded gun to my head, I'm not crazy, I'd never put a loaded gun to my head"
"You worry about me?"
"Special agent Gibbs, you are a quiet person, but I'm ok with that, because while you don't say much, your eyes are like the BBC. They broadcast everything".
Gibbs just raised an eyebrow. Maybe she was crazy, or drunk? Though she hasn't had much to drink at this point…
"I know you hurt, Gibbs. I can see it." Alex pushed herself to her feet and Gibbs did the same.
"How did this turn into something about me?"
Alex walked to the base of the steps and turned to face Gibbs again. He saw a tear well up and roll down her cheek. "Because Gibbs" Alex whispered "I'm tired of it always being about me. Poor Alex, she has to move across the country to be with her boyfriend. Poor Alex, her boyfriend is leaving for Afghanistan. Poor Alex her boyfriend died. Poor Alex, her boyfriend really only pretended to die." Hastily Alex wiped the tear away and walked up the stairs.
Gibbs gave her a few minutes before following her upstairs. He found her sitting with her knees tucked to her chest on his sofa. "That's not what I think, you know"
"Think what?"
"Poor Alex"
Alex waited for him to continue.
Gibbs thought for a moment before sitting next to her "I don't think 'poor Alex', if I have given you that impression, then I'm sorry. I can't help but think of how strong you are."
"Strong?" Alex turned to face him "Gibbs, I held a gun to my head"
Gibbs pulled her legs out over his lap and rested his hands on her knees "An unloaded gun, remember? You've been through so much in the past year. Anyone would've broken down. I kept waiting for you to break, but you didn't. You are the strongest person I know"
Alex leaned her head on the back of the sofa "Gibbs, have you looked in the mirror lately? Look at yourself? You lost your wife and your child and you still wake up each morning. I lost my fiancé, who, as it turns out, was faking the whole thing and I hold a gun to my head. Yes, unloaded, but still, you won't see my face on one of those inspirational posters for strength."
"Me either"
"Ah, c'mon Gibbs. You've got the face for it. Flash a little smile. Lots of people go for the whole silver hair thing, silver-haired fox, as Abby calls you. I wouldn't be surprised to see your face in the hallway of a local high-school"
Gibbs smile faded, "I did the same thing once"
"Held an unloaded gun to your head?"
"Loaded"
Alex hesitantly reached out and softly gripped Gibbs chin, turning his face towards hers "When?"
"After they died and after I killed the man that killed them. I sat on a beach…"
"What made you put it down?"
"I don't know"
"Do… you still get the urge?"
Gibbs nodded "It used to be every day, but now… some days I do and some days I don't. I guess it just depends on the day"
"Gibbs you won't? You wouldn't…"
When she didn't get a reply Alex brought her hand inches from Gibbs face and snapped her fingers, bringing his gaze up to meet her eyes. "Hey, you have to promise me you won't, won't do anything you can't take back, something stupid, will you?"
Gibbs thought for a moment. He looked at the woman sitting in front of him. He had watched her go from extreme joy and happiness at the sight of her presumed dead fiancé to heartbreak in less than three seconds. Her heart had been ripped out and stomped on a million times, yet hours later here she was concerned about his well-being. It confused, yet comforted him at the same time. "No."
"No?" Alex swung her legs off his lap and jumped up. "What do you mean, no? Leroy Jethro Gibbs, you have to promise me you won't do something stupid? If you don't, I'm going to, I don't know, stalk you or something. Abby and I can take shifts. I bet the rest of the team would help too. We could put one of those tracker ankle things on, just in case you sneak away…"
Gibbs reached out his hand and waited for Alex to take it "No. As in, no I won't do anything dumb."
Alex sighed as she dropped back onto the sofa and rested her head in her hands. Gibbs tenderly placed a hand on her back, "The same goes for you, you know?"
Alex peeked out from her hands, "I'll try to refrain from holding unloaded guns to my head"
Gibbs lightly tapped the back of her head. "And as much as I would like to hurt him myself, stay away from him, ok? Again, nothing that you'll regret"
"Gibbs, I'm more of a slashed tire or broken windshield type of girl. Nice scratches alongside his car or something. As much as I'd like to hurt him, it would mean seeing him again"
"Slashed tires and broken windshields? Is that what happened to Hollis' tire when she was late for our date at the opera? When I had to watch the first act alone"
"I may or may not have been involved" Her soft laughter was interrupted by a yawn.
"It's late, you need some sleep. You can stay here" Before she could answer Gibbs was moving upstairs towards the bedrooms. He met her in the hallway with a clean t-shirt. "Here, you can sleep in this". Alex took the shirt and after digging out a travel size tooth brush from her bag, went to the bathroom to change, wash her face and brush her teeth. When she opened the bathroom door, she saw that the lights downstairs had been turned off. She didn't see Gibbs, so she crossed the hallway to the guest bedroom. Gibbs watched silently from the doorframe of his bedroom. The t-shirt he had given her fell mid-thigh, he had to admit, it was a nice sight. He shook the thought from his head. He went back to his room to change into a clean shirt and a pair of sweatpants. After that he went and peeked into the guest room to make sure she was comfortable. He found her sitting on the edge of the twin size bed. Her face was covered by her hands and he heard her soft cry as her shoulders shook.
Gibbs sat down beside her and wrapped his arms around her. At first he thought she might try to shake him off, she never had been one to make a big show of her emotions, at least not until she was waving a gun around, but instead she just leaned into him and let him hold her while she cried.
"He… faked…. death. To get away from… me" Alex sobbed into Gibbs chest. "I… thought he… loved…" Alex trailed off.
Gibbs held her tighter and mumbled into her hair "He wasn't good enough"
"But…" Alex continued to sob.
"Shh, shh… it'll be okay" Gibbs rocked softly. "I promise" As Alex's sobs turned to a soft whimper, Gibbs reached behind her and pulled the covers down. "You need to get some sleep. I can't promise you'll feel better in the morning, but you'll feel worse if you don't sleep"
Alex nodded and wiped her eyes before crawling under the covers. Gibbs waited for her to get settled before pulling the blankets up around her shoulders and leaning over to kiss her forehead. As he started to stand up, Alex reached out and grabbed hold of his arm. "Will you lay here with me until I fall asleep?"
He was having a hard enough time with his own emotions, both his pain as well as his personal feelings for the woman in front of him, but he was able to put those feelings aside. He nodded in agreement and Alex pulled back the covers and scooted over to make room.
Gibbs walked towards the door and switched off the light. He returned to the bed and sat down and grumbled "these things aren't meant for two people" as he slid between the sheets. To make more room Alex rolled onto her side with her back towards Gibbs, at the same time she reached for Gibbs arm and wrapped it securely around her waist.
"I was moving on. I wish he had stayed dead"
Gibbs pulled her tighter to his chest and pressed his face to the back of her neck "No you don't"
"You're right. I saw him as a hero and he's only a jackass. At least I know the truth"
---
When Gibbs woke a few hours later he was still wrapped around Alex. His hand rested on her stomach with hers covering his, and he had a leg over hers protectively. He took one last deep breath, breathing in the familiar scent of her shampoo before slowly and gently detangling himself from her.
This had been a mistake, sleeping in the same bed with her. Nothing had happened, not that he hadn't wanted something to happen, but now all he could think of was holding her close. He had been thinking about her a lot lately, before all this drama had started. He had rules towards this type of thing, and he wasn't a rule breaker, at least not his own rules. It didn't matter anyway. She was a young, vibrant woman who, once recovered from the latest blow, would spend her weekends with Abby, Tony and Ziva, dancing the nights away at some club that he'd rather not know about; bringing home man after man until she found that special someone to share her life with. He had had that once, he couldn't be selfish enough to think he would find it twice.
Alex woke three hours after Gibbs. Her eyes were slow to focus, but as soon as she was aware of her surroundings she found herself alone on the small bed that she had shared with Gibbs. She sat up and stretched. Her eyes still burned from the crying, but her head was clear. Gibbs had been right, emotionally she didn't feel any better today, but physically she felt stronger.
Quickly she pulled on her jeans from the day before grabbing the rest of her stuff and heading downstairs. On the kitchen table she found a bagel with cream cheese and a glass of juice. Beside it she found a scrap of paper. She picked it up and recognized the handwriting.
Lex,
You will not come to work today. I'll call
you later.
-Gibbs
With the letter in one hand she down the juice and took a bite of the bagel. She contemplated what he had written, she was sure it contained a threat. As if he had wanted to write, you will not come to work today, or else… but had taken pity on her and left out the 'threat'.
Alex left the note crumpled on the kitchen table before digging her keys out of her purse and walking to her car. Walking to the driver side of her car she paused briefly when she rounded the hood, dropped her purse and clenched her fists. That bastard!
Alex crouched down by the front driver side tire. It was flat; the air had obviously been let out. Standing, Alex noticed a piece of paper, similar to the one that had been left on the kitchen counter. This one had simply read: No.
It had obviously been a mistake to admit to Mann's flat tire. She tossed her purse onto the passenger seat and then popped the trunk. She pulled her hair up into a messy pony tail and cracked her knuckles before pulling the cover off her spare tire. She worked hard to get the tire out of her trunk and roll it up next to the flat. Soon she had the car jacked up and various tools scattered around on the ground next to her. It wasn't the first time she'd had to change a tire, but it wasn't a regular occurrence. She looked at the mess in front of her, hands resting on her hips. This would take longer than she thought.
With the spare safely secured into place and the flat back in her trunk, Alex wiped the sweat from her brow. She climbed in to the driver seat and slowly took the slower neighborhood route to her house. Pulling into the driveway she realized that from the time she had seen the flat until she pulled into the driveway, she hadn't once thought of Chris.
A dark cloud of emotion passed across her face as she unlocked the front door. She sighed heavily as she stepped inside and shut the door behind her. She needed to be quick, the place was full of toxic emotion and she didn't want to suffocate. A quick shower eased some of the tension from lifting the tires.
After her shower and after she had pulled on a pair of jeans and bright yellow sweater she returned to the bathroom to apply her makeup. She didn't wear a lot, but the fact that she was applying mascara to her lashes was a dare to herself to not cry. She couldn't have black mascara tracks down her cheeks for the rest of her life, could she?
She debated packing a few outfits, but decided she could return to do that later. She had been in the house long enough and her heart pounded louder and louder against her chest as anxiety tugged at her. Back in her car, she again took the longer, slower route towards the navy yard. Her usual mechanic was just blocks from the NCIS building so she dropped off her car to get the tire replaced and walked the rest of the way to work.
When Alex arrived the bullpen was empty. She saw an unfamiliar face on the plasma and figured they were out on a case. She decided to take the time to clean out her desk. It wasn't messy, but a few things needed to be removed. Sitting down at her desk she noticed that the two pictures of her and Christ that he been displayed on her desk had been over turned, likely due to Abby not wanting his face to be waiting for her when she returned. Alex heard a noise and looked up to see the director looking down at her.
"Hi Jen"
Jenny smiled down at the young woman "Need a garbage bag?"
"You read my mind"
Jenny walked down the stairs and brought a garbage bag with her. She opened the bag when she reached the desk and watched as Alex dropped the pictures, still in their frames into the bag. She continued to hold the bag open as Alex dug through her desk and produced a few more items to be thrown away; an old birthday card, a personalized key chain and what Jenny presumed to be an old love letter. "How are you feeling today?"
"Truthfully? Like shit."
"I thought Gibbs had you taking some time off?"
Alex shrugged "What am I supposed to do? Sit at home and cry into my pillow? I'd rather kill myself" It was out of her mouth before she could stop it "I don't mean that. I just mean that I can just sit around and be sad"
Jenny nodded, she understood.
Gibbs knew he shouldn't have been so surprised to see Alex in the office when they had returned from the field, but he was. He thought he had done a pretty good job in making it clear that she wasn't to go to work that day. He had gone so far as to let the air out of her tire.
Alex and Abby sat with their feet perched up on Alex's desk as they ate Chinese food for lunch. When the elevator dinged Alex peered back over her shoulder and watched the team pile out of elevator. Tony, McGee and Ziva were at her desk in flash, full of questions on her well-being.
Alex appreciated the concern of her team. As much as she hated to feel pitied, she knew that she wouldn't have made it through the past year without the love and the support of her team. As the others slowly made their way back to their own desks and Abby returned to the lab to process the evidence the team had returned with, Gibbs made eye contact with Alex and questioned her with his eyes.
"Sorry I'm late, boss" she smiled "I had a flat tire"
Gibbs stared at her, doing his best to try and intimidate her
"What?" Alex raised an eyebrow "See somethin' ya like?"
Gibbs tossed her a file containing a list of phone numbers relevant to the case "Here, make yourself useful"