Double-post! Woo! A happy (belated) birthday to Kakashi. I had a different story planned for a present for him, but this was on my hard drive with the last one, and (even though it's nearly a month late), celebrate.
Dun own Naruto.
XO
--Wolfie-lou
"Congratulations, sensei! You're officially over the hill!"
"Hm…thought 'over the hill' was forty."
"Well, I haven't even hit twenty yet, so what do I know, right? Anyway, happy birthday."
"Thanks, Sakura-chan. When's the party?"
"There's no party."
"They say that every year. When and where?"
"No, really, Kakashi-sensei, there's no party."
"Then why are you grinning?"
"I'm not—"
"You are. You're grinning like a cat with a mouse."
"…What?"
"Why?"
"Why what, sensei?"
"Why are you grinning?"
"Because there's no party, and you're convinced that there is."
"They say there's no party every year, and every year they come up with crazier schemes to kidnap and blindfold me in order to drag me to a bar and force me to celebrate another year of not dying—"
"Fine. If there's a party, I had nothing to do with it. All I have is a present for you."
"Oh?"
"Not until later, sensei."
"…"
"…And wipe that look off your face."
"What look?"
"Like you're thinking something dirty."
"…"
"I said stop, sensei."
"…I honestly have no idea what you're talking about, Sakura."
"Sure you don't."
"…"
"You're so infuriating sometimes, you know. I have to go. I have a shift at the hospital. I'll see you later."
"Later, Sakura."
--
"I was told there wasn't a party."
"Yes, you were."
"I was told by you that there wasn't a party."
"Yes, you were."
"I was told by you that there wasn't a party, but if there was a party, that you had nothing to do with it."
"Yes, you were."
"…And now you're abducting me."
"Yes, I am."
"…Is the blindfold necessary?"
"Yes, it is."
"I already know where we're going."
"Still necessary. Put it on and there will be a lot less bloodshed."
"…"
"…Sensei, I'm serious."
"…"
"…Sensei…"
"And the ropes? What if I go willingly?"
"…You, willingly going to your birthday party? I was told you would try to sweet-talk your way out of this. It is not working."
"…I haven't even started sweet-talking, Sakura-chan."
"…"
"…Seriously. If I didn't want to go, I wouldn't."
"And yet you always end up bound and gagged in a corner with Genma and Asuma and Gai—when he's not busy trying to keep the sake away from Lee—dumping drinks down your throat until you're too bombed to walk on your own and thus escape."
"…"
"…"
"…Yes…"
"…Mmm…fascinating. Now. Let's go."
"I'm not going to get beat up by my old student."
"You won't. I'm not going to hurt you unless you give me reason to."
"I'm not going to get bullied by my old female student."
"Your old female student who could punch you through the Hokage Monument."
"…"
"And then refuse to fix you."
"…"
"And make sure nobody else fixes you."
"…"
"Sensei, can we go now?"
"…No."
"What if I give you your birthday present before we go? Will you go without a hassle and stay until everyone else has either passed out on the floor or gone home and passed out?"
"…What is it?"
"…I'm not telling. Yes or no."
"…I have this horrible feeling like I'm going to either seriously regret what happens next or I'm not going to want to ever get rid of it."
"Yes or no, sensei."
"…Yes. But I can't say I'll stay."
"Then you'll only get part of it."
"…There's more than one part?"
"…Uhh…"
"…Sakura…?"
"…Ummm…"
"Sakura, I don't think I've ever seen anyone turn that particular shade of red before."
"…Uhn…there's about three parts."
"Hmm…that's interesting. Give me the first part."
"…Close your eyes."
"No."
"Then you're not getting it…"
"…Sakura, you're turning purple now."
"Just close your eyes!"
"Hmph…fine."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…Where'd you learn to kiss like that?!"
"…Umm…"
"…Sakura."
"Hmm?"
"I asked you a question."
"Oh."
"…"
"…Well, d'you remember those Icha Icha books of yours coming up missing a few months ago?"
"…You're only sixteen."
"Which is why I stole them from you in the first place! Nobody would let me buy them."
"…They do stuff like that for a reason."
"I was curious. I borrowed a few."
"…"
"But I put them back!"
"…"
"…And I…took…really good care of them…?"
"…You stole my whole collection."
"…Yeah…"
"…So you learned to kiss from stealing and reading my Icha Icha books? Did you practice on anyone?"
"…No…"
"…"
"Stop looking at me like that…"
"…Like what?"
"Like you're wondering if I learned anything else…"
"Did you?"
"Did I what?"
"Learn anything else?"
"…Like I'd tell you…"
"…You will."
"…"
"…We're not making it to the bar…"
"…We're not?"
"…Nope. I'm gonna have my own private party right here."
"Oh? Well, then. Don't let me keep you, sensei."
"You aren't."
"…Oh?"
"You're part of it."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…Not bad for someone who's over the hill, eh?"
"…You're right."
"Oh?"
"We're not making it to the bar."
"…I'm always right."
"…You know…it's amazing I can even fit in your apartment right now."
"How so? You might think so, but you're actually not fat."
"Thanks, but no, that's not what I meant. Your ego needs an apartment of its own."
"Mmm. That must be why I haven't had neighbors in years."
"Mmm."
"…"
"…I did learn a lot from Icha Icha, actually."
"You are so my kind of girl."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Again—not bad for someone who's over the hill, right?"
"Mmm…thought forty was over the hill."
"…"
"But yes. Not bad for someone over the hill. Sensei."
About the ages--her being so young kinda pushes the limit with me. I usually go for a little older--seventeen or eighteen--but...this was what I had to work with, for obvious reasons--because, yes, I could have altered the age gap, but as a general rule, I dislike the idea of AU. It sort of defeats the purpose of fanfiction.
Love comments.