"Last time we did this, you had had so much to drink it's amazing those around you didn't die from alcohol poisoning just from watching you. Honestly, I have no idea why the bartender didn't cut you off."
"I could have killed him with a look."
"Oh, please. You couldn't have controlled that thing as drunk as you were."
"Are you challenging my alcohol tolerance, young lady?"
"And if I am, old man?"
"Contest. Nine tonight. Pub Kunai. I will be handing you your ass on a silver platter."
"Gawd, you sound like Gai."
"..."
"Don't glare like that. Besides, you won't be able to find your own ass by the time I'm finished, let alone mine."
"Cocky little thing. Besides, I will always be able to find your ass. It's too cute to miss."
"Consider my shishou, you pervert."
"..."
"She sees building alcohol tolerance as a critical part of kunoichi training - and mine, specifically. Twice a week from the time I turned fourteen, we drank building my tolerance."
"...Fourteen?"
"Oh, fun times."
"...Fourteen?"
"..."
"...Fourteen?"
"Yes. Fourteen. Is there a problem?"
"I at least had the decency to wait until I was sixteen to start drinking."
"..."
"...Op...en...ly..."
"Wait, wait, wait - decency? You were decent once?"
"I'm never decent where you're concerned."
"Letch."
"You love it."
"I love you. There's a difference."
"Y'know, I seem to recall we were doing something before you decided to insult me."
"Right. It's rather awe-inspiring. You're much better at this when you're drunk - "
"Sakura..."
"I'm kidding, Kakashi. You're great no matter your blood alcohol content."
"Okay, if we might continue? Now, you pull this back and - "
"I have done this before, you know. Actually, you were the first person I did it with."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Aren't you happy?"
"I would never have guessed you hadn't done that before. You did it so well - and you said you weren't sore after?"
"Not at all. I'd watched people doing it for years, so I talked to them about how to prepare. Stretches, which moves to avoid for the first time..."
"You watched people?! Oh, you're a voyeur! Wait'll everyone finds out!"
"Moron. The people you want to gossip to are the ones who taught me."
"Which friends?"
"Genma and Shizune for one - at their wedding. They were... spectacular. They way they moved perfectly together."
"I'll - kill - "
"Kakashi, I said you were my first, didn't I?"
"You... did... were you telling me the truth?"
"No."
"Excuse me?"
"I'm a compulsive liar. Undiagnosed, of course. My doctor won't believe me because I keep lying to him about my symptoms."
"Ha. Ha."
"Geez, lighten up, you old fuddy-duddy, and learn to take a joke."
"I can take a joke, Sakura, that just wasn't very funny."
"Yeesh. No more pranks on the Copy Ninja. His poor old sense of humor is failing."
"..."
"Stop glaring. Anyway, yes, you were my first. Don't you feel so special?"
"Hmph."
"Yep, my first dance partner. Even though you were blind drunk at the time, it was still a - maz - ing."
Pervs. I know what y'all were thinking. XP But nope. And actually, it wasn't dance when I started, it had something to do with weapons training. Ah, well.
Yet again, I'm not working on what I'm supposed to be working on. The first chapter of a new piece, titled Maid Sakura is up on my page, and the first chapter of a collab with Li Michal is in the works and almost finished. It will be posted on her page; I'll provide a link for everyone when it's done.
Feedback is much appreciated, even if it's just in the form of, "You suck, go die."
All credit for Naruto goes to its owners, which are not me.
XO