Ronon and Teyla sit at a table in the cafeteria with John. They observe him pushing his food around with his fork while staring intensely at his plate.
"John, what's wrong?" Teyla asks innocently.
John raises his eyes to look give her a snide look.
"Sorry, that did not come out they way I wanted. I…" she begins
"No," John interrupts. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I know you guys are worried and I'm being a major jerk to you."
He pushes his meal away and leans back in his chair. He pauses to carefully choose the words he wants to say.
He briefly closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, "What if Rodney can't fix this? What if I'm stuck being this way?"
He sees Teyla about to say something, but he slightly raises her hand to stop her.
"What do you think they will do to me or more precise… put me?" John asks.
Both Teyla and Ronon look confused.
"I don't get it," Ronon remarks. "Wouldn't you just stay here?"
"And do what? I'm a sixty year old man now! The SGC and IOA aren't going to let me go off world and do field combat. I could put anyone of you in danger because slow reflexes, poor hearing and so on."
John leans over the table, "And what are they going to do if they make me go to Earth? Change my identity and not let me see anyone that I know? What kind of life is that?"
"I had not thought of any of those things. I suppose I always thought of you staying here," Teyla states sadly.
"Who knows, I could just be worrying for nothing and McKay will have me fixed by the end of the day," John tries to say with certainty.
Ronon stares him down a bit, "There's something else bothering you. I can tell."
"Ronon!" Teyla scolds. "Is it not enough already?"
"Maybe," Ronon says bluntly.
John becomes uncomfortable and begins to get up and leave. He looks at Teyla and his sad eyes return. She notices it again.
"John?" she says pleadingly.
He turns his head away from looking at her and Ronon, "I was hoping…" John pauses to maintain his composure. "I was hoping that I would've been married, had children and maybe even grandchild by the time I got to this age. Now there's no chance of that."
He glances at Teyla one more time, "I need some time to myself for a little while. I promise not to go too far."
He leaves the cafeteria and heads toward to gate room.
Teyla is flabbergasted by John's statement. She looks at Ronon, "I never thought of John leaving here to pursue a family. I guess I was selfishly thinking of the here and now."
Ronon gets up from the table and gives Teyla a small smirk, "Who said anything about him leaving here to get all of that?"
Teyla remains behind, pondering both John and Ronon's words.
--
Before he gets to the balcony by the control room, Woolsey sees John and asks if he would join him in his office.
He gestures for John to take a seat, "I have just been informed that you are worried that SGC and the IOA might remove you from duty and from Atlantis."
John slightly lowers his head and slowly shakes it, "Teyla."
Woolsey sits behind his desk, "She only told me out of concern for you."
John sits back and exhales softly, "I know she did."
"I just want to reassure you that I will do all that I can to keep you here if your situation doesn't change," Woolsey says with compassion.
"Thank you, Mr. Woolsey," John replies. "But if it's all the same to you, if they try to send me back to live on Earth, I'd rather resign and live around here. Maybe even ask Teyla to stay with her people. This way, I know I'll be able to help somehow and not be stuck somewhere on Earth, away from my friends and family and feel useless."
Woolsey clears his throat, "Teyla has already suggested that you be allowed to stay with the Athosions."
John looks surprised, "She has?"
Woolsey gets up and walks in front of his desk and John gets up as well. Woolsey extends his hand to shake John's hand.
"Yes, she has and I will make sure that somehow, your request is granted. It's the least we can do for you Colonel Sheppard," he says with pleasant smile.
"Thank you again, Mr. Woolsey," John says before leaving.
When he gets to the balcony he leans up against the railing and takes in the breath taking scenery. He knows it's a sight he will never see on Earth. A glorious city that sits on the waters, a city of vast mysteries, but also with majestic beauty, and a place that he's called home for over five years.
He reaches for his ear and pauses briefly before pulling out his radio and placing it in his pocket. A part of him knows he shouldn't. What if, Rodney needs to get a hold of him, what if they call to check on him and he doesn't answer? He knows that these things can happen, but at this moment in time, all he cares about is some time alone so he can try to prepare himself for the worse possible scenario.
Some time passes before he hears footsteps approach from behind, "I'm sorry that I shut off my radio, but…"
"Aye, and you should be sorry. There are people worried about you. If it wasn't for Mr. Woolsey knowin' your whereabouts I'm sure there would be a search parties looking fer you," Carson says teasingly.
The Scottish accent brought a smile to John's face. He turns around to greet his old friend properly. He ignores that Carson is pretending not to be shocked by what he sees and gives him a firm handshake.
"Good to see you, Carson. I'm glad you're here," John says pleasantly.
"I'm glad too," Carson replies as he throws an arm around John's shoulders and leads him towards to door. "There is a certain young lady that is very upset with you right now and advises that we go back in and let her know that all is well."
"But I haven't been gone that long," John simply remarks.
"Aye, you have. It's been close to an hour now," Carson smiles. "I know, because I made her wait that long."
John looks surprised, but doesn't remark on his absence, "Well then, I better go then. This way you don't get in trouble with her either."
They both laugh as they walk down the stairs and toward the corridor.