Disclaimer: I hereby disclaim all claims to the characters and setting enclosed herein.

Sonumbulus

"Kissing in the corridors?"

"Absolutely not, Potter! Where ARE your manners?" Draco exploded in a hushed whisper.

"I meant kissing Hermione!"

"Oh. Well then… Hermione?"

"Certainly not! Come on Harry, I hardly think that's necessary"

"I suppose not." He conceded unwillingly. 'Nice try' the voice in his head told him.

"Look," said Hermione, "we just need to keep it simple. We'll hold hands a few times, tell people we're going out, and then we'll pretend to break up in a week or so. That should do it."

"Actually, it's just occurred to me that there's a rather large problem with this plan."

"What, just now?" Harry said sarcastically.

Draco ignored him. "Will people really believe that you gave Harry all those hickeys, Hermione, when you don't even kiss him in the corridors?"

Hermione thought.

"We could say she was drunk!" Harry interjected.

"No we could not!" Hermione replied, looking affronted. "I don't want a rumour like that flying around."

"Whereas you're perfectly happy with the rumour that you enjoy sucking on Potters neck like a vacuum cleaner." Draco muttered under his breath. He earned himself a glare from Hermione, who had apparently overheard.

"Well." She said quietly, "it's better than the alternative."

There was a moments silence. Then –

"Are you sure we can't just memory charm her?"

"Harry!" Hermione said indignantly.

"Well, something else then. There must be another solution! Maybe if we said GINNY was drunk! Or having some kind of hallucination!"

"Harry, that's it!"

"Have you gone completely bonkers, Hermione?" Draco asked seriously. "Do you really think people will believe us when we say Ginny's making it all up out of thin air? I think they'd be more inclined to believe that you were sucking on his neck like a -"

"Shush for a moment Draco, let me think… Yes, I think I've got it! Harry you're a genius!" she exclaimed, kissing him exuberantly.

"Hey!" Draco complained.

"Now, listen. They'll believe that it's all in Ginny's head if GINNY believes its all in Ginny's head."

"Huh?" Harry said succinctly.

"There's a potion. Sonumbulus, it's called. It puts the drinker into a deep sleep for several hours during which time they have very strange dreams. It was actually used by Healers to treat mild brain dysfunction caused by inhaling certain fumes. In theory, the dreams one has during that time allow the brain to process important information and kind of clear out old debris, like wiping the slate clean. It was most popular about a hundred years ago, when Wolfgang Bignell found-"

"Get to the point," Draco drawled, "We're not here for a history lesson."

"The point is that it has a certain side effect. It makes the drinker believe that the last hour they spent awake was part of the dreaming phase. Basically, if we give this to Ginny within the next half an hour, she'll believe the whole conversation with Harry was just a dream!"

Harry looked dubious. "Where are we going to get some Sonumbabumba within half an hour?"

"Sonumbulus," Hermione corrected, "and Madam Pomfrey should have some in her supplies."

"Of course." Draco sneered. "We'll just saunter up to Madam Pomfrey, who hates me, I might add, and casually ask for a bottle of Sonumbulus. She won't suspect a thing when Ginny falls into a three hour coma, assuming she even gives it to us, which she won't, because unlike Harry here, she's not an idiot."

Harry said nothing, and merely looked at Hermione hopefully, expecting her to come up with a clever solution.

"We'll steal it!" she said.

Five minutes found Harry, Draco and Hermione hovering outside the infirmary, each looking decidedly nervous, excited, and slightly befuddled at working together. To Hermione it seemed like Ron had suddenly dyed his hair blonde and taken to sneering. Draco was also considerably sexier, although her redheaded friend wasn't without his own charms.

"Plan!" Draco hissed.

"Wing it!" Harry said, grinning and knocking on the infirmary door. Adventure was his middle name.

"Wing it, Potter, are you mad? We have to come up with a plan, we have to know what to say – Hey Madam Pomfrey! How are you?"

"I'm well thank you Mister Malfoy. Now what can I do for you Harry?" she said looking at him fondly.

"Well, actually Draco is feeling slightly ill! Aren't you Draco?"

Draco coughed uneasily.

"He asked us to take him here." Harry added.

"Well," Draco drawled, giving Harry a look. "I was worried I might faint on the way down and hit my head on the hard stone floors, further injuring myself and possibly doing irreparable brain damage."

Madam Pomfrey rolled her eyes. "Well come and have a lie down if you must, and I'll have a look at you," she said, walking into the infirmary. Draco followed obediently, and Harry quickly tagged in behind him with Hermione.

"You don't look ill…"

"Check his eyes!" Harry said. Hermione took her cue to sneak off towards Madam Pomfreys office, where she kept her potions.

"They look fine to me."

"Fine?" Draco said indignantly. "I'll have you know my eyes are one of my best features! Can't you see the specks of silver?"

Madam Pomfrey glowered. "Where does it hurt?"

"Oh…. my throat," Draco said, growing slightly hoarse. "And my stomach… ooh… ow… and my leg."

"Your leg?"

"It's almost like a cramp, or a bruise. And I have a headache as well…"

"Well let's have a look at that leg. Take off your pants."

"My pants? Is that really necessary?"

"Well I can't very well look at your leg otherwise, can I? Come along!"

Draco looked at Harry wildly for help. Luckily at that moment Hermione came back into the room with a smile on her face. She'd found the potion.

"Actually, I'm feeling much, much better. Isn't that funny?"

Madam Pomfrey merely raised an eyebrow.

Walking very quickly, Draco left the infirmary and kept walking up the hall.

"Draco!" Hermione called.

"I'm taking a shower!" He called without looking back. "Just do it without me! I'll be in the bathroom if you want anything."

A/N

I know, its been a little light on the Porn recently. But there's more on the way, I swear! I'll have some up in a week or two. :)