(A/N) I'm awful and feel truly sorry for anyone who was waiting for this. I hope this makes up for it, and I'll be updating more with my best friend harassing me at every opportunity. You can thank(or blame) her for this.

I shamelessly lifted popular clichés and sayings from icons. To the people they belong to, my apologies. I claim no credit to anything other than the plot.

"You don't see why?" Seeing them shake their heads she continued, "But, he's so perfect! Or, I thought so. He saved me, he trained me, he protected me. He's been almost my whole universe for most of my life. He's just Aro: the vampire I love."

For possibly the first time, Carlisle was left speechless. Esme managed to pick up where he failed.

"I suppose love doesn't always make sense. If he seems not quite right for you, you should take your time here and try to sort things out before you go back. I'm sure our children wouldn't have a problem with you living with us for a while if you'd like."

"Thank you Esme, I'm really glad you'll help." Jane threw her arms around the other woman in the first embrace she had the conscious memory of giving.

-

(Inside the meeting)

Alice turned to Edward. "What in the name of all that is right was that?"

"I'm not sure, I didn't think it was important enough to try to look if it wasn't there."

"D-didn't...think-k....not...im-important-t...enough?" Alice was stuttering angrily, clearly dissatisfied with Edwards response.

"It's her mind, not mine. It's rude to rifle through her thoughts."

"SHE'S EVIL!" Alice yelled.

"Jeez, Alice chill. If she was evil she wouldn't have come and would've just gone and killed Bella while we and the mutts weren't around to protect her," Emmett reasoned.

"How tasteful leech, that's sure to make everyone feel better."

"Go chase your tail mongrel," Rosalie said to Embry.

"You b-" Embry started his retort, but Sam cut him off with a level "Enough Embry."

"Oh god. If Bella gets hurt, I- I just don't know what I'll do! It's all my fault! Bella, my love, forgive me!" Edward began dry sobbing as he fell to his knees.

"AHH!! The emoness, it burns me deep in my soul!" Jasper cried as he began to twitch uncontrollably.

"No, don't do it Jaz! Stay away from the guyliner!" Alice begged, "The tight pants will cause great pain! ....and beside, they would not go with your hair."

Jacob snorted. "Can't think of anything else, can you pixie?" Alice simply glared her retort.

Quil cradled his temple in the palm of his hand. "Entertaining though this is, I think there might be more important things at hand. Like, say, a crazy sycophantic vampire highly enamored with the Legion of Doom's Great Leader."

" 'Legion of Doom' Quil?"

"There's certainly enough of them for a legion- and they always bear bad news. Also known as doom, for those dimwitted few amongst us."

Good God, what happened to Quil? Edward shook his head in the direction of the werewolf he thought to be responsible for that errant thought. He couldn't tell most of them apart, or just didn't feel like bothering. More probably the latter.

"Much as I'm loathe to say it, as it goes against all of my almost-non-existent-characterization, I think we should listen to the mutt. He has a good point, although could never compete with me in a trial of awesomeness. You don't think Bella could love him more do you? I bet she does- I'm a horrid monster. How could I subject her to such evil when she's the only guiding light in my life, despite the fact that I have a wonderful family!?" Edward began to shake in a prelude to the sobbing that would undoubtedly accompany his self-pitying rampages.

Jacob slapped him across the face and set to work organizing the non-dramatic vampires and werewolves into some semblance of order to decide what to do with the love sick devil's advocate. Jasper was no help whatsoever, choosing instead to spend his time attempting to take the practically painted on jeans from one of the younger members of the support group.

"For the love of all that is fashionable, stop it!" Such a whiny voice for someone so small, Edward thought.

It was going to be a long night.

Ring ring ring. Ring ring.

"Hello? Love, clam down! ... I'm sure it isn't that bad. ... So maybe it is. ... Look on the bright side: she isn't trying to make me into lunch. ... You know as well as I do that it's an off day when someone doesn't try to kill me, why's now any different. ... Put Jacob on the phone. ... I don't care, do it now. ... Hi Jake. Wanna try and calm my pet rock down? ... Tell him I don't care that he heard. ... He is pretty emotional. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster with him sometimes- and not even a fun one. ... Thanks Jake, I know you'll try."

"Stupid human; I despise her. Why'd you do this to us Edward."

"Because she's the only thing in my life making it worth living! I just felt like being contrary, why fall in love with beautiful, perfectly eligible vampires when I could have a weak, ordinary fool? It's human nature to want what you can't have."

"You're not human."

"Quiet unnamed vampire; your opinion doesn't count."

"Yes, because yours are so valuable Emmett. I'm sorry Edward, and I know this will be harsh to hear. The powers that be simply do not wish for her to live. As a bonus, at least she'll never reach the legal drinking age. Heaven only knows what sort of havoc she could unleash upon the world while under the influence of mind altering substances."

Edward began to sniffle. "Why must you wound me so?"

Oh suck it up. The delivery may have been crude, but Sam's advice struck a nerve with Edward and he followed it. The tone of the alpha apparently translated to other species as well, Sam would surely file that away for further inspection at a later date. Or perhaps he wouldn't. Maybe the information would remain hanging in the space between the conception of an idea and it's development.

"....They're.... back...." Alice grunted, attempting to pry Jasper from the black nail varnish and too small shirts with characters that weren't even popular when they were first around- let alone twenty or more years later.

"Well damn," Seth said, easily summing up the opinions of the entire room.