Okita was now stuck in the car with Yamazaki, who insisted on talking to him and insisted on him to answer.
"So what do you think?" Yamazaki asked, after he was done talking about his latest conspiracy theory.
Of course Okita hadn't paid attention at all, so he just muttered, "Yeah, that sounds nice."
"That sounds nice?!" Yamazaki exclaimed/yelled, which caused the half-asleep Okita to jump up in his chair, "How is the terrorist's plan to control our minds through eating meat like beef tacos and bacon nice?!"
Okita sighed, "Just calm down and eat some bacon." Okita held a bacon strip up to Yamazaki's face.
"NO!" Yamazaki exclaimed, trying to push the bacon away from his face, "I'm a vegetarian!"
"Eat the damn bacon!"
"No!"
Okita glared at Yamazaki. Sadist Mode: On.
"Yamazaki-kun," Okita drawled, "Eating meat isn't bad, in fact it is very good. Did you know that the latest tabloid said that farm animals like pigs, cows, and chickens were all ganging up with the terrorists and that they plan to overthrow the humans and Amato, and rule the world?"
"R-Really?" Yamazaki asked, getting caught in Okita's spell.
"Yes," Okita smiled an enchanting smile, "So the only way we can stop their rising up is to kill them, and to stop them from reincarnating, we must eat them to destroy sprit."
Yamazaki was almost completely brainwashed, "What do we do with the human terrorists?"
"Ummmmm…" Okita thought, "We must eat them too. All terrorists must be eaten."
"All terrorists must be eaten," Yamazaki repeated.
"Now eat the bacon."
"Must eat baco-,"
Suddenly Okita realized that Yamazaki had been paying attention to him the whole time, and not the street. They were now about to swerve into a large column of buildings.
Sadist Mode: Off
"Yamazaki!" Okita exclaimed, "Watch the road! You're going to kill us!"
"No," The still-enchanted Yamazaki said, "Must focus attention on destroying bacon terrorist!" Yamazaki bit at the bacon, but instead bit Okita's hand.
Sadist Mode: On
"You damn idiot!" Okita exclaimed, "How dare you bite your master's hand. Apologize you bastar-,"
And just at that moment the car crashed into a building and Yamazaki was released from his trance.
"Crap!" Yamazaki exclaimed, "Captain Okita! Captain Okita are you
alrigh-,"
Okita glared at Yamazaki with his red sadist eyes, "Ya. Ma. Za. Ki. Didn't I tell you to watch the road?"
Yamazaki then realized that Okita was not only in his Sadist Mode but when the car hit the building he had transformed into his Super Angry Sadist Mode.
"Damn!" Yamazaki ran out of the car as Okita angrily fired a bazooka at him. Well it took about 11 shots but in the end Okita landed one right on Yamazaki's butt, "Agggggh!!!!"
This was enough to satisfy Okita's Super Angry Sadist Mode, so it gave Okita's body back to normal Okita.
Other patrol cars had pulled up to the car Okita was in, all curious about what happened.
"Captain, are you injured?" one of the officers asked.
Okita stared at the officer blankly, "My head hurts."
"Do you need to go to the hospita-,"
"Captain! It's Katsura!" one of the officers yelled, pointing to the top of a building, "What should we do, Captain?!"
Well what Okita tried to say was 'Get Katsura's ass with a bazooka' but instead what came out was, "Get Kat cough cough s cough a cough zoo cough cough."
"Get cats a zoo?" one of the officers pondered, "What does that mean?"
"It must mean that he wants us to gather up a bunch of cats and then he wants us to build a zoo!" one of the other officers offered.
"How in hell will that help us catch Katsura?"
"I don't know, but it's the captain's orders!"
All the other officers agreed as football players do when you start talking about how the opposing team sucked (by the way, if you have never been to a football game, consider yourself lucky… oh the horror!).
Okita stared awkwardly at the officers as they all stormed off in a huge mob to go find a bunch of cats.
"What a bunch of idiots," Okita muttered, as he picked up his bazooka, "Guess I'll do this by myself."
Okita turned around and was about to fire his bazooka at Katsura, but was surprised to see that Katsura was standing right next to him.
"Oi!" Okita exclaimed, "Get your ass back on that building so I can shoot at you!"
"You are extremely rude," Katsura responded, "And I came here to give you something."
"What is it?"
"An apple," Katsura tried to hand a badly disguised bomb that was supposed to be an apple.
Okita stared at the bad excuse for an apple, "I can't. I have applephobia."
"Fine then it's a strawberry."
"I am not eating that bomb."
"It's not 'bomb' it's 'strawberry'," Katsura responded.
"…Hey, do you think that you could disguise a bomb as mayonnaise?" Okita asked.
"I'm the master of disguise."
Okita stared at him blankly for about 10 seconds.
"That means yes," Katsura responded.
Okita smiled like the purple cat from Alice in Wonderland and gave off a presence like the Mad Hatter, which made Katsura retreat a few steps back.
"Oi, Katsura," Okita smiled, "Can you come over to the Shinsemgumi at 3 a.m. tonight?"
"It's not 'Katsura' it's 'Katsura'. And why would I want to do that?"
"Wouldn't you like to kill the vice commander of the Shinsemgumi?" Okita asked.
Katsura weighed his options. Hijikata was basically a hermit who rarely came out of the house, and if he did it would be at nighttime when Katsura was sleeping. Having the Captain plant a bomb was actually a very good idea.
"I'll be there," Katsura agreed, "But. I'm warning you, you might not recognize me. I'll be wearing a disguise."
They stared at each other.
"So are you going to take the bomb?" Katsura gestured to the apple/strawberry/bomb."
"No I don't believe I will." Okita responded
"I'll give you a hug."
"Don't make me stab you."
"Fine, but I just don't give my hugs out to anyone."
"I'll live."
"Good, I didn't want to hug you anyway." Katsura turned and started to walk away.
As Okita was watching him he suddenly felt a sudden wave of dizziness and his body felt like it was heating up fast. He tried to grab the rim of the car, but instead he grabbed the collar of Katsura's robe. As you might know, robe collars do not give much support, so this caused Okita to fall to his knees, and half of Katsura's robe to be pulled off, exposing his muscley upper body.
Extremely surprised (and somewhat embarrassed) Katsura turned around to see what was going on, "Oi! What are you doing?!"
Okita didn't respond. Instead he grabbed Katsura's hand and pulled him down with him. He then wrapped his arms around him and held him in a tight embrace.
"All this over a hug?" Katsura asked, "I really would have gave you a hug if you asked."
"…Cool," Okita muttered, "You're body is so cool."
"It's not 'Cool' it's 'Katsura'." Katsura shook Okita's body, "Oi! Wake up!" Katsura glanced at his watch, "Damn, it's almost time for the rerun of Sailor Moon!"
Katsura picked up the unconscious Okita and placed him in the back seat of the squad car, then ran to his house to watch Sailor Moon (though I have to say that if I was left alone with Okita's defenseless body I would have done something a lot more inappropriate to him).
Just a few seconds later the police officers ran back to the car, and were about to tell Okita the happy announcement of how they found their first cat for the cat zoo. But they were surprised to see that when they got back that their Captain was unconscious in the back of the cruiser. In fact they were so surprised that the guy holding the cat didn't even notice when the cat bit him and ran away.
"What do you think happened?" one of the officers asked.
"I don't know," one of the female officers said, "But we should inspect his body for any injuries." The male officers gave her a strange look. "Don't worry! I'll do it!"
The female officer then proceeded to start to strip Okita, first staring with his Hamarchist shirt, and "inspecting" his body. She was about to get to his pants, but Okita suddenly woke up.
Super Angry Sadist Mode: On