Disclaimer: We do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!

Jasper's POV-

I am not sure how long I rode around on my motorcycle after leaving the Cullen house. It must have been a while because by the time I decided to head home it was dark and it had still been light out when I left Alice's house after the kiss we shared. Well actually if I wanted to be honest with myself, I had kissed her for no reason. I still did not quite understand what had come over me to make me kiss her. I didn't even know that girl really and here I was locking lips with her because of the story about her past.

Maybe I felt connected with her after learning about her life. She was not what I had first thought. Everything I thought I knew about Alice whether it is from rumors or what I had seen with my own eyes, turned out to be wrong. The tiny slip of a girl was way more complicated than I had thought possible. She had depth and personality and for some reason I had been able to feel her pain through every word she spoke about her past. I felt like I had lived it to and that made me feel odd because I never connected with other people as easily as I seemed to with her.

Kissing the tiny teen girl had not been a conscious choice. It was a heat of the moment thing that I had no control over. Yet when my lips touched hers something which never happened with Maria occurred. I felt this spark like two flames flickering to life and blending in to one. It made me want to keep on kissing her even though I knew I shouldn't want to. Her lips had been so warm and soft and she tasted like cherry chap-stick. For the few seconds our lips were connected I forgot about everything around me. I forgot about my douche bag father, Maria, and everything going down with James. All I had been able to feel and taste and touch was Alice Cullen.

Then I had realized was I doing and forced myself away from the one thing which could wipe away all my pain. I thought about Maria and what she would do to Alice if she ever found out we kissed. I could not let it happen again. I was with Maria unofficially and it had to stay that way. We lived the same kind of life and that made us a perfect match right? I tried to force myself to believe that even when I realized that kissing Alice for a fraction of a few seconds beat every kiss I had ever shared with Maria.

By the time I finally made it home I knew it had to be around midnight or so. I parked my bike in the driveway and made my way inside the house. I was hoping that my mother was asleep. It was always a tossup of what I would come home to. Most days she would be caring and sweet and naïve about my father, though on rare occasions she would have a bad night and be up half the night drinking. On nights like that she said things and did things she either honestly did not remember or pretended not remember in the mornings. I usually pretended not to remember as well because I never blamed her for this particular behavior. I always blamed my father for making mom the way she was on bad nights.

I made past the front door only to find my mom sitting on the couch with a glass full of Vodka in one of her hands. Her hair had been cut and styled and so I knew she used the money in the way I had wanted her to, but she must have used to rest to buy alcohol. I could smell it on her breath from across the room. She watched me with that intense gaze of hers and the carefree mother I was used to wasn't here tonight. I knew this was going to be a bad evening for the two of us. I would have to try and get her to bed before she did something stupid or before we ended up saying something we would both regret.

"Mom it is after midnight." I told her calmly as I looked at the clock while coming to sit next to her on the couch. I was thinking of a way I could grab the table without her seeing me do it. "What are you still doing up this late?"

She turned her head to look at me and for a few seconds I don't think she had any idea who I was. Maybe she thought I was my father or maybe she thought I was a stranger. She seemed to snap out of it after a few moments. Her hand came up to rest against my cheek. "I was thinking about you my baby. You didn't come home and I got worried. I was afraid you left like your father. Do you have any idea how much you look like him in this light? You could be his clone frozen in time from when he was your age. He was a year younger than you when we met. Did I ever tell you that Jasper?"

I could feel my hands shaking when she spoke about me looking like my father. I knew that I looked like that bastard I called my father and I hated it. Sometimes I wished that I could scar myself so badly nobody would ever dare compare me to him again. I wanted to be seen for who I am and not for whom my father is. I was not my dad and I never wanted to be. I knew what people around town thought about me. They thought I was just like him. They whispered about me being a fuck up and I would admit that I was a fuck up, but I could be my own fuck up and not a copy of my father.

"How many times do I have to tell that I am not him?" I snapped feeling my temper ready to snap. She always compared me to him when drunk and I hated her for it. If I were like my father I would have left a long time ago. "I'm still here aren't I? I take care of everything around here. When are you going to realize I am not dad? I am better than he is and I won't end up like that. I would rather die first than become like him."

To my surprise my mother laughed. Her hand flew to her chest as she continued to laugh. "That is the same thing he said about his father and look how he ended up. You can't run from fate Jasper no matter how much you try. It is in your DNA and you are going to just like him. I knew that when I gave birth to you even though I wish it could be different. You will meet a girl and you'll destroy her like your grandfather destroyed your grandmother and like your father destroyed me."

I couldn't take it anymore I knew I had to get out of there. I looked at my mother and I could see her struggling with her drunken state and her usual denial. She wanted to say how sorry she was, but that would mean she had to accept what she had done and she couldn't do that if she wanted to continue pretending that she never remembered evenings like this. I made it easy on her and kissed her cheek bidding her goodnight as I made my up the stairs and to my room.

I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. I was too wired and I needed to talk to someone. The only problem being I didn't have anyone who would listen to me. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks and I started up my laptop I had stolen from the high school my freshmen year. Alice had told me all about her life and she owed me by listening to me. It did not take me long to find the Cullen's house number and as I dialed still not quite sure of my actions, I prayed she would be the one to pick up.

After three rings I was ready to hang up when suddenly her tired voice answered. I must have woken her up or something. "Hello?"

"Alice it is Jasper and I need you to just listen okay?" When she did not argue I launched in to my story. All I needed was to get it off my chest and I was sure that I'd feel better. "Today when you told me about your parents I felt like I understood you. You said how you thought I was lucky knowing my parents and I want to tell you how I'm not. My mother lives in a world of denial. She can't accept that my father doesn't really care about us. She pretends to see what she wants. She is always making excuses for him and it drives me mad. I do everything I can to take care of her and then she has these nights like tonight where she drinks. She compares me to my bastard of a father."

I pause for a few seconds to rub the palm of my right hand over my face before continuing. "She says that I look just like him and I have been told the same by others as well. All I hear is how I am like him and how I will lead the same life. Nobody sees that everything I do is so that I can take care of my mother. I am going to end up just like him and I know it. He ended up just like his father. It is a disease that I can't escape no matter how hard I try. Sometimes I want to put a bullet in my brain to stop myself from ruining some woman's life like he did to my mother. I get so tired of it Alice and I don't know what to do. The funny thing is I envy you for being left in the woods. I wish they had done that to me, but I guess my father kept me around as a way to torture me. No doubt when he comes back from his bender I will be his target as I usually am. Well uh, I have to go. I probably said more than I should have in the first place. See you tomorrow and let's just forget this ever happened okay? Just pretend it was a dream."

I was quick to hang up and strip for bed. I lay on my dirty torn mattress with no bed frame as I looked up at the ceiling using my arms as pillows. What the fuck had I been thinking calling her like that? Now she was going to tell everyone what I said and I would be ridiculed. Or worse she would try to be a human band aid and try to fix me up herself. I should never have let a moment of weakness get to me. I should have just forced myself to sleep. As I lay there I could hear my mother downstairs cursing my father before I heard a small crash. She probably passed out and I would have to go down in a few hours to collect her and carry her up to bed like I had in the past. I just needed a little time before I faced reality again.

Alice's POV:

I let Jasper's words run through my head like a marathon. Why had he called me so late? It was nearly one in the morning? But most importantly, why had he called me? Did he really have nobody else to talk to? Maybe he was thinking about our kiss... Maybe he was starting to trust me…

I lay back against the pillows on my bed and placed my home phone in its little charger port. I had written down the number, and it was from a wireless phone, meaning I now had Jasper's cell phone number to put in my phone. I quickly grabbed my cell phone off the bedside table, and entered the number into my contacts and saved it. Maybe I should send him a text message…Or maybe not. Maybe he would think I was a stalker and obsessed with him or something…Or maybe he'd be glad to have a friend to talk to. I finally decided I was going to send him a text. It couldn't hurt, right?

Hey Jasper. It's Alice. Are you ok? You sounded really upset on the phone. I can't just forget something like that when somebody tells me that they want to put a bullet in their brain for looking like their bastard father. And trust me I swear to you, that this conversation stays between us. You can call me anytime you need anything, no matter the time. I want to figure you out, and help you.

I sent the text message, and it felt good to tell him what I was too scared to tell him face to face. I hoped it wouldn't offend him or anything. I had just cracked him open a little today, and I didn't want that hard shell to reform, I wanted him to soften up and let me get to know him…

I didn't expect Jasper to answer my message because it was so late, but he did. Relief washed over me as my cell phone screen lit up with the little note coming out of the envelope and Jasper's name glowing under the 'new text message from' animation.

I told you to just forget it. You didn't need to hear all that bullshit from me. I was just letting me emotions getting the best of me. That was a figure of speech, by the way. I'm not really going to kill myself, I have too much responsibility. I'm not going to take advantage of you like that. But thank you for the offer. Why in the hell do you even care so much? I should mean nothing to you.

I rolled my eyes as I read the text from Jasper. His texts sound like he does in real life. His text tone seemed kind of cold, but at least he attempting to be nice. I could tell he was putting it lightly. I clicked the reply button.

Why don't you want to let me in? I'm not going to hurt you. Why would you think you would mean nothing to me? For God's sake, you nearly saved me from bleeding out! You seem to be forgetting that. I pretty much owe you my life.

I didn't know what to expecting the next text message to say. But it sure as hell wasn't this!

You don't owe me a damn thing. I didn't save your life. I ruined it. You got fucking shot, Alice. I want to take responsibility for that. It makes me feel guilty. It makes me feel liked I turned into that bastard of a father I have, by ruining some innocent girl who shouldn't have a damn thing to do with me. I don't understand why you want to be a part of my god forsaken life. You deserve better, Alice. Stop caring so much.

I was shocked and a bit hurt at Jasper's words, but I knew he was just denying his feelings. He cared for me, and he knew it. He might have even been falling for me. But he wouldn't admit it. I had to get it out of him somehow…

Call me.

My two worded response got a reaction, even through texts.

Why? We talked a lot today. Besides, it's almost two. Shouldn't you be sleeping?

I scoffed. What was this guy's problem? He is playing jump rope with his feelings.

Oh please. Stop acting like you care if I'm sleeping or not. I don't have to go to school for the next two weeks. I'm on bed rest, remember? Just call me. I want to hear your voice.

I sent the message, hoping I didn't hurt his feelings too much. I wanted it to sting a little, maybe it would help his feelings surface faster. Or maybe he's just get pissed… I hoped he wouldn't…

Ouch. That was probably the rudest thing I've ever heard you say. Fine, I'll call. But we are going to talk for less than an hour. Got it?

In my mind, I did a little victory dance. Maybe I could get him out of that shell permantly…

M'kay. Call me then. By the way, tomorrow is Saturday. So you don't have school or whatever. Anyways, just call.

A minute or two later, my phone started to buzz in my hand. I hit then green send button after the first ring. Man, it seemed like I had it bad for this guy…

"What did you want?" Jasper's sleepy voice mumbled over the other end of the line. I laughed at how sleepy his voice sounded.

"I just wanted to talk. That was a really intense conversation we had before. I just wanted to make sure you were okay and not cutting yourself or something."

"Oh please. I'm not into all that emo fag shit. That's just stupid. Why would you even do that to yourself? Anyway, what did you want to talk about? And make it quick. I'm tired."

"Sheesh, somebody is grumpy!" I laughed quietly into the phone. "I wanted to ask you something." I said seriousness in my tone now.

"What?" Jasper asked his monotone back.

I groaned internally. Shit, the shell had reformed…Maybe I could crack it open again… "I wanted to ask…um… did you think about…our…you know, our, um, kiss?" I asked nervously, crossing my fingers that the answer wouldn't be too bad.

"Yes." His tone was flat. It didn't sound quite so flat it was dead, but it certainly wasn't joyful.

"Oh…" I said, feeling my face flush. "And what about it…?"

I could almost feel Jasper shrug. "It was a heat of the moment kind of thing. Didn't mean anything." His voice sounded like he was trying to cover a lie smoothly, but was failing. He must have been thinking about it quite as much as I had.

"I did mean something, Jasper!" I spoke slowly and quietly into the phone. "Just admit it already! Or stop fighting it! I know you felt something… I felt it too. And you were kissing me very passionately. Like you've been waiting to do it. Then I told my story, started crying, and then BAM! Perfect opportunity!"

I heard Jasper scoff on the other end. "I was trying to be sympathetic, and I panicked, I didn't know what else to do! I'm not good at comforting… I just…" His voice trailed off, and he sounded kind of sad. Like he had wished he might've changed kissing me. And of course, my, being me and so curious, I had to ask.

"Do you regret it?" I asked, after a long pause of silence.

There was another long pause. "If I tell you truthfully, do you promise me you won't get all offended?"

I swallowed hard. He was about to make things so awkward between us, I could tell… "No. I won't."I answered calmly, proud of myself for keeping my voice so steady.

"No. I don't. That was one of the best kisses I've ever shared with anybody. And you taste like cherry chap-stick. It was…overall, a very pleasant experience. I enjoyed it. But, I don't know if I would do it again. I mean, Maria and I, we're kind of a thing, but I'm not really happy with her. I just don't want her to hurt you. There you go. I've told you enough now. I'm really tired, so I need to go to sleep. Plus, I have to come over there again tomorrow. We can talk more then. Goodnight, Alice."

"Goodnight, Jasper." And then I hung up, almost exploding in happiness. I had finally broken his shell, and got him to admit his feelings, even just a little. He had said he liked kissing me! And he didn't even regret it!

I placed my phone back on the bedside table, and flopped back onto my bed, totally blessed out and feeling happy and even a little accomplished that I had broken Jasper's shell. I went to sleep, too happy and content to even notice my now aching shoulder.

TBC…