Title: Suffer In Silence

Rating: PG-13

Summary: My take on what happened after The Theory of Revolution. (Spoiler Alert)

Warnings: Sappy and Angsty…as always!

Face lay in bed, eyes closed, but wide awake. Despite his exhaustion, his mind was racing making it impossible to get any sleep.

The familiar sound of chains clinking disrupted his thoughts. When the sound stopped, he opened his eyes to find B.A. peeping his head through the door.

"Didn't mean to wake you," he said looking uncomfortable.

"You didn't...I was up. Come on in."

"You okay? You need anything?"

"Can you keep the others away?" Face joked. "Murdock has been trying to feed me a full meal every 3 minutes, Hannibal has been threatening me with an IV if I don't drink enough, and Frankie keeps bringing me pain pills. I think he's trying to keep me doped up…I must have really scared the poor guy."

"You scared us all, Faceman."

"I know, but I'm feeling better," he chuckled, "now that I've been stuffed full of food and drugs. You can go on up to bed…I'll be fine."

"Well, okay then. Good night." B.A. turned toward the door, and then stopped. Not one for apologies, he kept his back to Face and said, "Um…listen…about earlier...I'm sorry 'bout all that 'fool' stuff. I was outta line."

"And I was a bit outta my head," Face retorted lightly. "Let's call it even."

B.A. turned and looked Face in the eye. "So, we cool?"

"Yeah…we're cool. Plus, what you said got me thinking."

"Uh-oh," B.A. teased, taking a seat in the chair next to Face's bed. It was rare for Face to be open with his personal thoughts and was probably a result of the medication lowering his inhibitions. But still, B.A. was eager to get a glimpse inside his friend's head. "Just kidding…about what?"

"You know, when I was a kid in the orphanage, I learned at a very young age to keep my mouth shut. With so many kids to tend to, not many people really cared or even noticed if you were sick. And those that did care, like Father Maghill, had so much on their plate that they didn't have the time. I never wanted to be a burden, so I found it easier to say nothing. Ironically, I think this helped me out by the time I got to Nam. I was already a pro at taking it like a man and keeping it to myself. Hell, we all suffered so much in the camps…"

"Some more than others," B.A. interjected. Face didn't talk about it, but they were aware that he was singled out more than the others.

"Yeah," Face cleared his throat, "but everybody was hurting and talking about it wasn't going to make it go away. I considered myself lucky that I could control my emotions."

"But you know you don't gotta do that anymore…never did have to with us."

"I know B.A., but as they say, old habits die hard. Plus, no matter how sick I get…or how bad I'm hurt, it can never come close to what we already lived through. That's what I realized the other day while I was getting thrown around that cell. I had been there done that, and survived."

"True…but it obviously brought back some old memories. You were hurtin' and we could have helped you through it."

Face looked up at the ceiling, not wanting to make eye contact as he tried to explain. "Crazy at it may seem, the reason I think I have such a hard time admitting that I'm sick or hurt is that I prefer to suffer in silence. It's what I know how to do; it's how I cope…does that make any sense?"

"Nothin' about our lives makes any sense," B.A. said, "but I think I understand where you comin' from."

Face tried to stifle a yawn. It wasn't often that he and B.A. had a chance to talk like this and it was nice. "I guess Frankie's pills are starting to kick in," he said sleepily, his eyelids growing heavy.

"Guess we better call it a night," B.A. said, heading for the door. Once again, he stopped. "Suffer in silence, huh?" Turning back to Face he wore one of his infrequent true smiles. "Next time you get hurt, you think maybe we can come up with some sort of hand signal or secret handshake so the rest of us know what's goin' on?"

Face laughed, than grimaced. "Ow…don't make me laugh," he whined wrapping his arms around his ribs.

B.A. covered his mouth with his hand and closed the door behind him giggling in that high-pitched tone that completely contradicted with his image.

'A secret handshake? B.A. might just be onto something,' Face thought with a smile and then drifted off into a deep sleep.

The next morning…

B.A. was nursing a tall glass of milk at the kitchen table when Frankie came in wearing a perplexed expression. "Man, that Face is one weird dude. Or, maybe I gave Face too many pills last night?"

"What you talkin' about, Frankie?"

"Well…he's lying in bed and making all these weird movements with his hands."

B.A. had a mouth full of milk which he promptly sprayed all over the table.

Frankie looked even more confused as he mumbled his way out of the room to the sound of B.A.'s giggles. "Weird…these guys are all really weird."

The End