A/N: Wonderful news from the world of Nova, my little cat should be ok! He's cost me a small fortune in vets bills but he is no longer at death's door. I'd sell my soul for that little man if I could so its no big sacrifice- I'm very sad like that.

Onwards…

A Gentle Hand

Rose looked down at the figure next to her in her large double bed, something about his head on her pillow disturbing her rather than filling her with the glee she would always imagine. She couldn't deny he was handsome, she definitely couldn't deny she was attracted to him. When they had returned from Woman Wept Pete had beaten a hasty retreat to bed, leaving Rose and the Doctor alone in the large living area. Rose had wanted to sit in the library but the Doctor had protested that he preferred the other room. She had followed him obediently and not protested as he'd thrown an arm around her when they settled on the sofa. The movie he put on had soon been forgotten, replaced by the sensation of his lips on hers and the feel of his hands on her body. She had begun to enjoy it, touching him back and revelling in the caresses she'd craved for months. It was only when he murmured in her ear that he wanted to continue in her bedroom that the image of the man in the photo came to her once again.

She froze and the Doctor had pulled away, fearing he'd over stepped the mark. Unable to tell him why she had suddenly pulled away from his advances when she had no idea why herself and unable to bear the hurt in his eyes, she had lied, blaming her accident and fatigue. Out of the need to comfort him she had invited him to stay with her but was unable to enjoy the sanctuary of his arms. Now she sat, watching him sleep, torn between his beauty and the need to understand why she couldn't let herself love him properly. She slowly got up and dressed in the clothes she had woken in, checking her pockets for her wallet and the funny device she had still not found a use for. Despite her confusion at its operation she felt it like a lifeline, anchoring her to reality when everything else was off kilter.

Silently she slipped from the bedroom and wandered the drafty corridors to the library. As soon as she crossed the threshold she felt a peace come to her, an understanding that this room held many happy memories even if she couldn't find them. She settled herself on the large leather sofa and waited. She didn't know what she was expecting but something told her that this room would have the answers. It wasn't long before she took the photograph from her wallet once again, peering at the man with the wild brown hair and deep dark eyes. She studied the picture a little closer, realising that the back ground behind him was a familiar view of the TARDIS control room and in his hand, partially cut off at the base was the device she now had in her pocket. She took it out and flicked the switch, hearing the familiar buzz and two words coming to her mind; sonic screwdriver. She giggled at the term but gave the little device a fond squeeze as she flicked it off once again.

Movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention and she hastily returned the photo to her pocket for fear of discovery by the Doctor. She turned to the door but no one was there. She got to her feet, wandering over to the fire place and running her fingers over the mantle. She gazed up into the large ornate mirror, reaching up with her sleeve to wipe a smudge from the glass. She nearly screamed when the smudge failed to wipe away and instead moved, floating almost to the mirror's edge before breaking free like a thin puff of smoke. Rose watched it as it doubled back to her, circling her before heading towards the door. Without thinking Rose followed it, keeping her pace slightly slower and plenty of distance between herself and the smoke.

The smoke gradually faded until all she could see was a tiny little intermittent red light. Her mind was bombarded with memories at the sight, late nights and ghost stories, candle light, chocolate liquor, the Doctor trembling in her arms. Her heart froze at the last thought, the Doctor trembling but his face was not that of the man asleep in her bed but the man in the picture.

"Regeneration," she muttered to herself, not understanding the word but knowing it bore some significance.

She followed the light as it moved further and further into the heart of the ship. Passing rooms or pausing at them to allow Rose to look inside. One room was in disarray, a old fashioned military uniform hung up on the outside of the wardrobe. Another room was again messy but not as lived in, a computer console left abandoned on the bed. Images came to Rose's mind; a tall, handsome man with a flirty smile and a warm heart, someone loved and lost and Mickey's face came to her mind, slightly older than when she left Earth and his face sorrowful but determined. She continued to follow the light before it paused outside another room. Rose carefully opened the door to see the unused bedroom. The image before her shimmered slightly and she saw it anew, soft candle light and silk bed clothes, a perfect haven. She wanted to throw herself onto the bed but kept to her feet, instead walking round to the side of the bed she didn't occupy when sharing and pulling something familiar from beneath the pillow. She had to laugh at what part of her mind would recollect black and white checked pyjamas but the feel of the material made her think of nights held in a secure embrace, words she couldn't understand being whispered in her ear. She checked the room for occupants before holding the pyjama shirt to her face, inhaling the scent that lingered there. She shuddered with delight at the sensations it gave her.

"Doctor," she said to thin air, "My Doctor."

The red light buzzed in front of her face and she looked down to see an old dust sheet in her hands rather than the black and white cotton top. She frowned before discarding the sheet and leaving the room. She continued on further, deeper into the TARDIS then she ever remembered going before. The light did not pause again until it reached a great, ornate door. Rose reached up to trace the handles shaped like some mythical beast, concerned to find them chained shut rather than easy to open. Without thinking she pulled the sonic screwdriver from her pocket and set it, holding the blue light to the padlock and hearing it click open. She pulled the chains free and set them as silently as possible onto the floor. She pushed open the door and stepped over the threshold. Nothing but darkness greeted her.

"Lights," she said, looking for a switch before she heard the ignition of a dozen flames and the room flickered into view. Torches burned away in their holders at her command, illuminating the cathedral like room.

"Cloister Room," said Rose walking over to the massive central altar, "The Eye of Harmony…Library!"

Rose barely even noticed that the light had disappeared as she raced up the stairs and into the hidden staircase beyond. She hurried up the stone steps, catching up a lit torch as she ran. She pushed back the cloth and went around lighting the torches until the shadows were chased to the corners, revealing the dusty old room. Rose looked around trying to find the final piece of the jigsaw that was her memory, something had happened in this library, something to do with the man with the wild hair. She paced the floor, stopping only when she reached a thread bare rug. She threw it back and smiled as she saw the pentacle star etched onto the floor.

She got to her feet as she heard heavy footfalls on the stairs and hastily grabbed a torch from its holder. The Doctor walked in, leaning on the doorframe in just his jeans and jumper, the leather jacket no where in sight. The leather jacket he never went anywhere without.

"Taking the tour?" he asked, his familiar grin now only filling Rose with dread.

"Just remembering," said Rose, holding the torch out a little further.

"Remembering what?"

"Jack, Mickey, the Doctor."

"The Doctor? You might be still a little concussed, you should sit down."

"I'm not going to rest until I find out what's happening," said Rose, "And you're going to tell me. So let's start from the top, who the hell are you and what have you done with the Doctor?"

XXXX

The Doctor found himself dragging a finger languidly over the books lining the walls, looking for anything of interest. They were mainly history tomes, their spines inlaid with golden circular script, and proving little interest to him. He carried on his path until he reached a book with a different script, he recognised the English letters immediately. He pulled the book from the shelf and went over to the rug by the fire, sitting cross legged on the floor and placing the book on his knees. He ran a hand over the cover, something telling him that answers dwelt beneath its red leather binding. He traced the black lettering, A Comprehensive History of British Lay Lines. Any other time he would have been more interested in why such a book existed in his father's library but instead his interest was drawn to the information within. He opened the book to the first page, scanning the contents and flipping to the page that stood out the most. He flipped the pages and turned to book long ways to look at the double page spread of the map.

His eyes immediately fell on London, something of importance drawing his eye there first before a strong line crossing the country became of greater value. He followed the line into Wales until his finger settled over the city of Cardiff. Several names sprang at him at once, Dickens, Sneed, Gwyneth, Margaret, Jack. He could only put a face to the first, the others eliciting differing memories and emotions around their names. His mind kept returning to the last, something akin to love entering his soul but a brotherly affection, no more. From Cardiff his finger followed another path, passing various large western towns before settling at a point between two, knowing something would be in place. He took a pencil from his pocket and scribbled the first word that came to his head. Proctor.

He continued to write, words associating in his head without any explanation. Pain, ghosts, children, Grace, Ivy, Rose, mirror. The final two words brought a deeper feeling to him than the others. Rose, mirror. Rose, mirror. He couldn't fathom the connection between the two but knew there was some great importance there. He reached into his pocket and pulled out one of the rosebuds he'd snapped off its stem earlier that day. Immediately the image of the girl in the snow came to him. He got to his feet, discarding the book and staring into the mirror above the fireplace. It misted for a second but when it cleared the scene behind him had changed. Gone was the ornate Gallifreyan furniture, in its place was a comfy old leather couch, strewn with scatter cushions and various modern acquisitions of an Earthling design. It was the figure on the sofa though that caught his attention. The girl in the snow was now dressed in just a man's button down shirt, her long legs curled up beside her on the sofa as she toyed with her blonde hair, knotting it around her fingers in a way that made him want to take over.

The flower in his hand warmed slightly and he looked down at it, "Rose," he said smiling at the flower, "Rose Tyler, my Rose Tyler."

"Who are you talking to?"

The Doctor looked up to see the room as it once was, Reinette's figure to the right of his vision in the mirror. He turned to her, question written on his face as disjointed memories returned to him in glorious technicolor.

"I never brought you to Gallifrey with me," he said not moving far from the fire place, "Because Gallifrey didn't exist and I never got back to you before you died. I went back to Rose."

"Whose Rose?" said Reinette sweetly, giving him her most disarming smile.

"She's my life," said the Doctor simply, "She's the reason I survive but she's not by my side and that's not how it should be."

"Angel you're ill…"

"Will you stop calling me that!" cried the Doctor, "I'm not your angel! I'm about as far from an angel as I can get. Now you tell me where Rose is, where is she?"

"I don't know, I don't know anyone called Rose," said Reinette walking over to him and laying her hands on his chest, "Everyone who means anything to you is under this very roof, everyone you've ever loved. Your father, Susan, me."

"I don't love you," said the Doctor, "I never loved you. I wanted you, being a Time Lord made me no weaker than any man in your presence but I never loved you. I loved her…I love her, Rose Marion Tyler barely twenty-one and born on a South London Estate in the twentieth century. Rose Tyler who swung across the pit of a Nestene Consciousness the third time we met to save my life. Rose Tyler who taught a Dalek humility. Rose Tyler who marched to her death in the name of love. Rose Tyler who faced an invasion alone while I lay sleeping. Rose Tyler who has been unflinchingly by my side even when I have got things so wrong and broken her so many times. That's the woman I love, not some courtesan in some strange hallucination of my home world! Now then Madame Du Pompadour, how about telling me who you really are?"

XXXX

"I haven't done anything with the Doctor, I am the Doctor, one and only that's me!"

"You're lying to me," said Rose trying to hold her torch steady as he took another step towards her, "Stay where you are."

"Or what?"

"Or…or I'll hurt you, burn you," said Rose, her conviction wavering.

"Could you do that really? To me? Your Doctor?"

"You're not my Doctor," said Rose, "You're the old Doctor…no you're not even him. He never admitted his feelings, never cuddled watching movies unless I begged him or if I was sick."

"I'm just giving you what you want Rose, you've loved me for so long, I could see it from the day you stepped aboard," said the Doctor his countenance far more menacing than anything Rose had ever witnessed, "You wanted me. You prayed to get me back and now that wish has been granted you don't like it."

Rose straightened slightly at his words, "So you admit you changed, that there is another Doctor? Well I want him back. I don't want you, I was in love with the memory of you nothing more because you're still in him. This you is wrong, everything about you is wrong."

"What can you do Rose?" he said backing her into the corner by the old ornate sofa, "What can a mere human do to change things again?"

"I can remember what he taught me," said Rose, calmly lowering the torch to the nearest stack of dry old books. They caught light immediately, thick black smoke billowing up and blocking the Doctor from her view for a second. Rose didn't pause to think, closing her eyes tightly before feeling a strong tingling sensation throughout her body. She spread her arms admiring the golden feathers that came up in place of normal human skin. Flapping her new found wings she rose up over the flames and soared down the curling stair case, when she reached the bottom her grasp on her transformation had already weakened and she hit the ground running, glad to find her feet still properly attached and her body back to normal. She let her heart guide her feet, running to the control room.

XXXX

The Doctor was bored of talking, bored of hearing Reinette's insistence that he was ill and nothing more. He paced around the room, trying to find a way out of the madness that he was surrounded by. He remembered it all, the apparitions on the TARDIS, passing through the mirror into this world, fighting with Rose and being separated from her. He knew whatever was before him wasn't real, merely a twisted representation of his subconscious mind. He heard the clang of metal on metal and looked up. Reinette's figure was fading but it was the mirror that caught his attention. He could see Rose, standing in the TARDIS control room with a mallet in her hand, smashing the panel into pieces. He ran to the mirror and banged on it, realising that where he was came near to the TARDIS main doors.

"Rose! Rose!" he called, bashing harder on the mirror, "Rose break the doors, smash the doors."

He saw the girl stop as she heard his voice, "Doctor?"

"Rose I'm trapped but we can get out, smash the doors huney give it everything you've got!"

Rose didn't question him, running up to the doors and coming close enough to the mirror that he could almost touch her. She swung the mallet, landing several large blows and cracking the mirror, the sound of wood splintering from beyond.

"Come on darling," he cried, backing away from the flying glass, "You're getting through."

Through the shards of glass he could see her toss the mallet aside before readying herself. She raised her leg swiftly and planted a strong kick against the door. The mirror and wall shattered inwards, the illusion fading as she broke through and showing the stone corridor he stood in, the wall before him rubble and dust and Rose standing in its midst. The Doctor pulled the last of the debris free and helped her step over the stones. She threw her arms around his neck and held on tight, uttering nonsensical sounds of relief as she clung to him. The Doctor hugged her back, relieved to be free from the imaginary Gallifrey.

"I found you," she muttered, "I couldn't remember you and then when I did I couldn't find you."

"Its okay," he said into her hair, "I'm here now, we got there Rose, we…"

"Sshh!" hissed Rose, "Can you here that?"

The Doctor strained his ears in the dark, stone corridor. The unmistakeable roar of fast flowing water met his sense and he immediately grabbed Rose's hand, pulling her down the corridor. It wasn't long until the torrent was on their heels but with no where to turn off they had to keep running, the crash of the waves deafening them as they grew closer. The Doctor secured his arms around Rose's waist just as the water hit, knocking the breath out of them both and pulling them under. Through pure stubbornness alone he kept hold of her, pulling them both to the surface of the rushing flow. Rose spluttered desperately as they surfaced, clinging onto his coat for dear life as the current swept them up against the stone walls or pulled them under, forcing them to fight for the surface once more.

A gate loomed ahead, the bars wide enough to let the water through but not their forms, they would be crushed against it by the pressure of the water. The Doctor frantically glanced around them, noticing with alarm that there was nothing to grip onto to pull them free from the water before the impact.

"Put your hand on my head!" cried Rose above the cacophony of the water.

"What?"

"That Time Lord thing, I need you to give me some of your strength."

"That's not how it works," he said, "I can't."

"Just do it, it'll make me believe you can," cried Rose, struggling from his grip and only holding on to him one handed. He placed his fingers to her temple and watched her shut her eyes. He watched in amazement as the blue transformation light surrounded her, her control over the world around her increasing as she transformed. In a second he was blinded by light before he heard a loud shriek and felt strong talons close around his arms, pulling him from the water. He dared not look up as he was pulled clear and flown over to the bank and set back onto his feet. He dropped to his knees, choking up the water he had swallowed but he managed to look up long enough to see the elegant golden eagle before the light shimmered once more and Rose collapsed into a heap on the floor, coughing and spluttering.

The water's flow began to slow but neither paid it any mind, gathering themselves before clinging onto each other for dear life.

"Thank God," said Rose, "I was so frightened. Are you alright?"

"Thanks to you, that was a pretty nifty trick," said the Doctor, stroking her soaked hair.

"Did it before in the TARDIS? Had to get over the flames and I wished and I turned into that bird thing," said Rose, "Didn't know I could do that."

"Course you could, you're very clever. Also means you have more control over this environment than I thought." said the Doctor, cupping her cheek and turning her face to his.

Rose flinched back as his palm met her cheek, the memory of his mother's house still fresh in her memory. She sat back from him and studied her shoes. She didn't look up as she heard him sigh in desperation.

"I'm so sorry Rose," said the Doctor, "What I did to you back then…its unforgivable…I understand if you…"

"I'm not leaving you," said Rose managing to reach out and take his hand, "But you hurt me, I don't mean the slap, God knows I deserved that."

"No one ever deserves that…"

"Let me finish," said Rose, taking his face in her hand and holding his gaze, "The number of times I've hit you and you take it. I shouldn't have said what I did, you were grieving and I was being selfish. I wasn't the slap that hurt it was the fact that you pushed me away, the same way it hurt you when I pushed you away the other day. Then when I ran away I realised how stupid the fight was but I couldn't get back to you. After everything that's happened though I know how much I love you and how one stupid moment is never going to change that."

Rose leant up and pressed a kiss to his lips, glad to feel him respond instantly, his arms coming around her. She reached back and removed his hand from her waist and raised his hand to her cheek. Pulling back from his kiss, she nuzzled into his palm before resting her cheek against it, her eyes showing him he was forgiven. He leaned forward and kissed her again, all the confusion of the passed hours flowing from him as he felt the one true thing in this world.

"Tell me what happened," he murmured as they parted, sitting back against the wall and bringing her across his lap. She did, telling him the tale of the forest and then waking on the TARDIS. He told her his story, of Reinette and his family alive and well but nothing being what he wanted. Rose told him of the light leading her to the places to jog her memory and they both came to the same conclusion.

"I think it was Grace, Doctor," said Rose leaning her head on his shoulder, "The red light and you dreamed of her before, perhaps she is the only entity we can trust, all the others are wrong."

"We can't trust anyone but each other at the moment Rose," said the Doctor, "Just trust me to take care of you and I'll trust you to do the same. This place will get worse before it gets better I'm sure and we need to keep together, no more fighting."

"No more fighting," said Rose, getting to her feet "Well then, we'd best find a way out of here and onwards. I want to go home, I desperately need a change of clothes."

The Doctor pushed up to his feet, immediately taking her hand, their fingers locking. He smiled down at their entwined hands before raising his head to press a kiss to her cheek. The room around them was free of both doors and windows, the only thing that proved an entry or an exit being the gate they had almost crashed into. The Doctor wandered over, seeing the small key hole etched into the wall beside the gate.

"If only I had my…"

"This?" said Rose, pulling the sonic screwdriver from her pocket and handing it to him.

"Where'd you get that?" said the Doctor as he took it from her.

"Kept hold of it after you created it when we were falling through that tunnel. It was one of the things that reminded me of you when I was inside the other TARDIS. The Doctor didn't have one and its so much a part of you that it reminded me who you were even when they pretended you weren't real. I used it to open up the Cloister Room door."

"You certainly did a lot more than I did, I just sat around waiting for inspiration," said the Doctor, using the sonic screwdriver to work away at the lock, "I was so far removed from myself it was frightening, I've never felt that detached from the universe before."

"I know what you mean," said Rose, fiddling with the hem of her jumper, "I kept feeling…its hard to explain…you know when you get off a rollercoaster or the TARDIS has been really bumpy and it feels like the ground is still moving when you're standing still, it felt like that. Everything was just odd and…a lot of the time I wanted to cry, especially when I realised the Doctor wasn't who I thought he was, he…I don't want to remember him that way, he terrified me!"

The Doctor abandoned the lock and turned to her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close against him, feeling the chill in her from her wet clothes, "Sweetheart you have to remember that this isn't real, everything we see and experience is altered to make it frightening. You said your vision of the old me was menacing, cold. I was back then and I know you saw it; that time with the Dalek in Utah, I frightened you. You carry that memory with you, despite our happier ones and this thing is using that against you, highlighting the bad memories because that's what will hurt you. The same way it twisted my feelings for Reinette in an attempt to get me to forget you."

"But you didn't did you?" said Rose, "You left her, all of them for me."

"And I would again," said the Doctor into her hair, "Even if they were real. This is all I want now, you and me."

Rose smiled against his chest, laying her cheek over one of his strong heartbeats, "Me too," she said, "Now come on, we haven't got time to be all soppy. Get that gate open and let's get this sorted."

The Doctor pulled back and returned to the task in hand. The lock finally sprang free but instead of the gate lifting a panel in the floor opened to reveal a pulley system, the rope old and worn but usable. The Doctor frowned but picked up the rope, bracing his feet on the floor and pulling. It offered some resistance at first but then began to give, lifting up the gate before them. Rose moved behind him and took hold of the rope, helping him pull until the gate was fully lifted. The Doctor looked around but found nothing to anchor it too.

A small path either side of the water had risen alongside the gate, leaving enough space for one person to walk across into the cavern beyond.

"You'd better go through and have a look," said the Doctor, keeping the rope secured, "If I let this go that thing will fall down, go and see if its worth the effort."

Rose did as she was told, slipping beyond the gate and returning a few minutes later with a smile on her face, "Looks promising," she said, "The water goes on for a way and there's a boat, better than sitting in there for the next few hours waiting for something to happen. Can you get across?"

"Should be able to. Get yourself back in case the rope goes loose and that gate falls, I have a nasty feeling that any limbs lost here might remain lost back in the real world," said the Doctor, keeping his grip tight on the rope.

Rose stepped back into the room behind the gate but made sure she could still see the Time Lord as he gradually pulled himself towards the gate, keeping the rope as taut as possible. The gate juddered and protested dangerously, threatening to drop at any second. Rose's fingers curled into a fist in her agitation and she willed the Doctor to hurry as she clocked the large spikes that made the base of the gate.

"Will you settle down?" said the Doctor from the other side, the strain of holding up the heavy metal gate apparent in his voice, "I'm getting stress hormones aplenty from you at the moment."

"Sorry," said Rose, "Just don't want you getting mushed. Can you regenerate if your not actually in your body?"

"Don't know, never tried," said the Doctor as he reached as close to the gate as he could get without loosing the rope, "And I don't want to put it to the test now. Right, stand back, I don't want to send you flying when I come through there."

Rose did as she was told and closed her eyes tight. She heard the slap of the Doctor's converse on the stonework and the creak of the gate as it juddered and then slammed back to the ground. She heard the grunt of someone hitting the floor hard and opened her eyes. The Doctor pushed himself up to his feet, looking down in concern at his long fawn jacket that was now missing a substantial amount of its base. Rose found the torn off material floating conspicuously on the shallow water, clearly snagged by the gate spikes. Rose went to his side, checking him for any further injuries.

"You're lucky that wasn't your leg," she said, satisfied he was in one piece.

"Stupid gate," said the Doctor wandering over and giving said gate a firm kick before frowning as his foot came off worse, "I liked this coat."

Rose shook her head as he shrugged out of the long coat and tossed it to one side, "You should keep it," said Rose, "At least its mostly still in one piece."

"And look as if I've been living in a doorway for the passed six months, no fear," said the Doctor, "I have a certain level of style to maintain you know?"

Rose masked a laugh with her hand, "Style, you? Yeah right. I was loving the eighties leather before and now the preppy student look, you've got style right down."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow, a look that was none too innocent passing over his face, "Are you making fun of my look Miss Tyler? The same Miss Tyler who sported a Union Jack T-Shirt in the middle of wartime Britain? Well, I suppose I must take advice from such a fashion guru," he said, coming as close to her as he could without touching, "I'll just have to let you get me out of these dreadful clothes when we get home."

Rose couldn't suppress the gasp that echoed from her as his voice shot pleasure to all the right places, "Now I know I'm with the right person," she murmured, "No one else in the universe can do that to me."

"It's a talent," said the Doctor, pressing the lightest kiss to her lips before standing back upright, looking to all the world as if the last moments had never happened, "Right, boat. Let's move."

Rose watched his back as he walked off, frowning at his gear change but then letting herself laugh, knowing she would definitely not have him any other way.