Requited, Unrequited: Chapter Eleven

Essay

Edogawa Conan, along with the rest of the class, stared at Kobayashi-sensei in disbelief. What kind of assignment was that? Had she made a mistake? But no, there it was, written out across the blackboard in her neat script: Write a two foot essay about a person who has inspired you. What did that have to do with Trigonometry?

Genta's incredulous complaints got a little too loud and the professor skewered him with a glare that made him shut his mouth with an audible click and scrunch down in his seat, trying to look inedible. No one else in the class dared to protest the assignment after that. Which meant that they were stuck with having to write the thing. Great.

Haibara was being strangely secretive about the whole thing and chose to sit alone at a corner table in the library. Mitsuhiko, Genta and Ayumi, after some groaning and complaining, happily went off to their houses to do things only God knows what. That left Conan sitting by himself at their usual table in the library and staring hopelessly at a piece of blank paper while his pen hovered over it.

Someone who inspired him? Like, uh, his dad? Did Kudo Yusaku inspire him? It wasn't like he wanted to become an author of a book or anything, which was how Mitsuhiko was taking the topic.

Who has inspired you? What did that mean exactly? Sherlock Holmes had been pretty inspiring being a detective and all, he supposed, chewing absentmindedly on his pen, but then, he was a fictional character and Kobayashi-sensei had already stressed the fact that they were only allowed to write about people that was breathing. Sheesh, right now he'd rather a fabulously tricky essay on physics and the forces of matter. At least then there'd be some book somewhere he could look at. How was he supposed to figure this one out?

Looking in a dictionary didn't help. It had definitions for 'inspire' all right, but they were all things like 'to breathe' or 'to instruct by divine influence'. That couldn't be what Kobayashi-sensei meant. A clue would have been nice, he thought, irritated, as he doodled on the corner of his paper and glowered at the unhelpful dictionary.

Conan sighed heavily. It was mocking him, he was sure of it. He tried to tune it out and concentrate on the essay he was supposed to be writing. From the sounds of it everyone else was writing about famous people, so maybe he should just stop worrying about this and pick someone.

Conan picked up his pen with determination then sighed and put it down again without inscribing a single letter. It wasn't that he couldn't write an essay like that, it was just that he didn't think it was what they were supposed to do. Someone who inspired him. Famous people didn't inspire him; they were just fun to talk about and pretend to be.

Really, Conan thought as he shoved the unhelpful dictionary back in the shelf, the person who inspired him, the person who drove him forwards, was... Haibara.

Which sounded stupid. She was his friend; she wasn't some Holmes fanatic like him or a big famous hero. She was just Haibara. Not that Haibara was ever 'just' anything, of course, but she wasn't—she wasn't—she was Haibara.

And, try as he might, Conan couldn't shake the idea that she was exactly what Kobayashi-sensei meant.

So he sat down and started to write.

It sounds stupid; he began honestly,but the person who has inspired me the most is Haibara Ai. I guess most boys wouldn't admit that, she's just a girl, just my friend. But she's always stood by me and she always thinks I can do things even when I'm sure I can't. She always helps me even if she's really busy and she puts up with my bad moods and she tells me the truth even when I don't want to know it. Shebelievesin me, even when almost no one else does.

The words were pouring out of him now, as if he'd opened a floodgate.

Even on the first time we met, she thought I could do great things when I was just a stupid kid who would say mean things as often as not, even though she is a bit sarcastic at times. And because she believes in me she gives me the courage to believe in myself, to think that maybe I'm not just the detective freak with a strange name. Because if someone like Haibara, who is the best, bravest, cleverest person I ever met, thinks that I'm worth something then I really must be worth something. I have to be.

And because she believes it then I want to be. I want to be what she thinks I am so I work harder than I would by myself, I try harder than I would just for me. For Haibara I want to be everything she believes I am. Because I can't disappoint her. I'd rather face a rampaging criminal than disappoint Haibara. So she inspires me to become the best person I can be, which is weird but true. Without Haibara I wouldn't be anything.

She doesn't believe that. Which is stupid. That's the only time she's stupid, is when she's thinking about herself. She doesn't think she's worth much but she's the best person in the whole world and one day I'm going to convince her. She thinks I don't really need her, that I just put up with her. She doesn't think I know, but I'm not completely thick and I can see it only I don't know how to convince her.

She thinks she's just useful as an encyclopedia about Chemistry on legs, she doesn't even think she's beautiful. But she is. She's got a smile that makes me smile just looking at it because it's so real and genuine and she only smiles when she means it. And she never wears makeup so I know that I'm really looking at Haibara and not some paint, which I like. I like seeing the real her. She thinks her hair is awful but I like the way it tangles and it's not so bad so I don't know what she's complaining about really. And when she's thinking real hard she bites her lip and it's just so Haibara I have to smile and—

Conan stared at his paper, his lips moving silently.

Oh hell, he wrote in bewilderment. I'm in love with Haibara.

He stared at his essay in stupefaction. It wasn't possible. Was it? He couldn't be...

No way. She was – she was Habaira.

She was Beika High School's Ice Queen. She was the best student in the whole damn school and had the best grades a teacher could boast for. She was the girl every boy wanted. And it turns out, including him, Beika's High School detective.

Conan had no idea how long he sat there in a befuddled daze, the words blurring in front of his eyes but their meaning crystal clear.

"Conan-kun!" Ran came running at him, barely keeping her voice down to an acceptable library level. Conan hastily covered his essay up so Ran couldn't see what he'd written. "Conan-kun, come on, I've been looking everywhere for you! Dad has a case and were going to see the crime scene!"

But what about Ran? Don't I love her? Conan stared at Ran's retreating back. Am I really over her now?

Ran whipped around to find him still not moving. "Well? Are you coming or not?"

Relieved at the thought of a distraction, Conan hastily shoved his things away in his bag and followed Ran. Immersing himself on another case, Conan managed to bury his unexpected revelation so far down in his mind that he forgot about it. And the assignment.

It wasn't until Kobayashi-sensei was going around the class collecting the essays that he remembered he was supposed to write one himself.

"You didn't happen to forget making one, don't you?" Haibara whispered, raising an eyebrow.

And of course he instantly wanted to say no because he knew Haibara wouldn't hate him for it but she'd be disappointed in him and he didn't want her to be disappointed in him. So it was with great relief that he remembered the paper he'd shoved into his bag several days back and he fished it out, straightened it hastily, and put it proudly on his desk. Haibara smirked at him and he grinned back.

After all, he'd managed to forget, with great effort, just what it was he'd written on that parchment.

A couple of days later Kobayashi-sensei handed back the essays with a few words of encouragement or criticism. When she stopped at Conan he had the disconcerting feeling that she was trying very hard not to smile. Or possibly laugh.

"Great job, Edogawa-kun," she said. "You were one of only two people in the entire year to work out precisely what it was I was asking for. Although I have to admit, yours was the most... original essay I have ever had to privilege to read."

Uneasily sure he was being laughed at, even if he didn't know why; Conan mumbled something in acknowledgement and accepted back the roll of paper.

"What did you write about?" Genta demanded when their teacher had moved on, his eyes a narrow glare.

"I wrote... I wrote about… About…," his voice trailed.

"About?" Haibara's voice piped in, raising an inquisitive eyebrow and Conan swore he did not squeal like a girl.

"Shh!"

It was at that point that he remembered exactly what he'd written in his essay. He said a word that drew a shocked "Conan-kun!" from Ayumi.

He hadn't. Please, he hadn't.

He unrolled the paper cautiously, trying not to let either Haibara or the Detective Boys see what was written there. Especially Haibara.

Oh hell, I'm in love with Haibara.

He had.

No wonder Kobayashi-sensei had been laughing at him.

"Can I read it, Edogawa-kun?" Haibara drawled, opening her palm.

"No!"

His voice came out in a panicked shout that made Kobayashi-sensei turn around. "Is there a problem, Edogawa-kun?"

"No," he squeaked, going red in the face as the class stared at him. After that, he always kept his eyes on his shoes, and his essay was securely kept in his hands.

"Oh, and Edogawa-kun?" Kobayashi-sensei said, after giving the last essay papers on his class. Said person raised his head to meet twinkling eyes.

"I just want you to know that she" his teacher gave a slight cough which was not-so-subtly disguised as a laugh, "wrote about you too."

Conan's jaw dropped in front of the whole classroom to see, while its occupants was too busy staring at the smart and collected leader of the Detective Boys loose his cool.

"She DID?"

Needless to say, Conan and Haibara became the It couple the very next day, and possibly forever.

And Kobayashi-sensei kept giving the students smug faces whenever it was mentioned.

This idea came to me on a sunny day inside a hot, stifling classroom with a teacher annoyingly prattling about this and that and me talking to my best guy friend who is sitting on my back and my closest guy cousin who looks too much like Edward Cullen for his own good. And the annoyingly prattling teacher suddenly gave us a stupid god damn essay which is -yes, you guess right- "Who Inspires You The Most ".

Imagine my surprise when my best guy friend wrote about -yes, you guys guessed it right again - me. Yes, ME. Of all the frickin' people on the world, it had to be me. And did I mention I had a crush on said guy best friend? And my guy cousin choose NOW of all times to be the protective older brother with a sister complex. And did I also mention that I have a crush on said closest guy cousin? So... Yeah, it started a so called "Love-Triangle" gossip to bloom on the detestable school of mine.

Joy.

Anyway, please review!

PS. If you want to know who I wrote about, review and include the question in it. Meh.

Akitsuki Akira © Essay