Learning to Live Again

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Yu Yu Hakusho, its characters, universe, or any of that.

Notes: Possibly some pairings later on. Also, there are additions of characters of my own creation; I do own those. :) Comments, reviews, suggestions, etc. are greatly appreciated and encouraged! :)

Thanks and enjoy...

Chapter Fourteen: When Love is Relative

"Did you hit your head in battle today, brother? Demons do not love; demons fuck each other when there is power involved. And I'm sure you've noticed that the young half-demon has it in spades."

Kurama stayed rooted to the spot as Aurora quickly continued away, his thoughts swirling. The only coherent thought he could manage was, well, at least now I know why Hiei is so angry...

"Yoko!" came a scorchingly angry yell from up the hall.

"Here we go..." Kurama muttered. "Yes, Hiei?" he called.

"We need to talk!"

"Oh, I'm sure," Kurama sighed, walking towards the angry fire demon's voice.

"Your sister was attempting to seduce the Detective," Hiei spat.

"I do not believe that was her intention, nor do I believe she was the sole partaker in this," Kurama murmured, tone very carefully neutral. "Furthermore, anything I say to you is not going to make much of a difference. I suggest you allow this matter to drop, even with as much as it bothers you. I highly doubt she will allow something like it to happen again."

Hiei stared at Kurama. Vaguely, and the more he thought about it, he knew the fox was right. He was just so... angry. Taking a deep breath, he nodded faintly and stalked away down the hall toward the front doors. He needed to kill something. Good thing there was a war outside. Easily, he found Mukuro and he took his rightful place fighting beside her.

After Hiei was out of sight, Kurama decided he needed to talk to Yusuke himself. The boy's bedroom door was still ajar, but the kitsune rapped his knuckles against it twice anyway. "What?" came the slightly irritable sounding call from inside.

"Yusuke, it's Kurama. May I come in?"

"Kurama? Oh, yeah. Of course, come in," and just like that, the sharpness in his tone had evaporated. Kurama decided that that was good; it meant Yusuke wasn't mad at him, probably only at Hiei.

Pushing the door lightly, just far enough for him to slip through, Kurama entered the room. Carefully meeting toffee brown eyes searchingly, he said, "Would you like to talk?"

Those very same eyes he had been watching, flashed for a moment with an emotion the intelligent fox couldn't quite place. "So you know I kissed Aurora?"

Kurama gave the dark-haired man before him a reassuring smile. "Yes, I do. And I'm not here to yell or scold."

Yusuke sighed and his eyes relaxed, almost invisible walls came down a bit, revealing some of his emotions. "That's good. Hiei is pissed enough to make up for everyone." His tone was slightly frustrated again, but Yusuke was quite calm overall.

"I know. I shared a few short words with him just a moment ago." Kurama moved to a chair that sat beside the large open window, sitting with grace Yusuke swore only foxes possessed. "Why did you do it?"

"Kiss her?" Kurama nodded in reply. "Because... Gods, fox-boy, she's beautiful. Do I need much more of a reason than that? Maybe it was because she saved my ass a few hours ago. I... am... attracted to her." Yusuke fell silent for a moment before he remembered something, "Do you remember the day I asked you about why demons suddenly made me... you know."

"Why you were no longer sexually attracted to Keiko; only to other demons?"

"Yeah," a faint blush had tainted the ex-detective's face.

"Yes, I recall that conversation."

"That's what it's like. I can... feel the fact that she's strong, that she has a lot of power. And I..."

"You want it. Want to be near it. Want to be with her because of it."

The blush deepened, "Yeah." Kurama nodded, calm gaze falling outside the window. Yusuke was absolutely stunned to realize that the kitsune wasn't angry, wasn't even irritated. "I'm sorry," he whispered anyway.

This caused Kurama's head to turn swiftly back in Yusuke's direction. "What are you apologizing for?"

"What I did."

Kurama laughed. It wasn't a cold, forced laugh; it was a genuine show of amusement. "You're allowed to be attracted to other demons, Yusuke. I'm not angry with you. Quite the opposite, really."

"So you're... happy with me?" Yusuke asked, nearly incredulous.

Kurama laughed heartedly again. "Yusuke, she and I are twins." Yusuke gave him a look that clearly stated he still didn't follow. "You told me you find her attractive. And she and I look more similar than we do different. Hence, that was just as much a compliment to me as it was to her." Yusuke understood now, though his gaze was still wide-eyed. Kurama, just for good measure, batted his long eyelashes and cooed, "You think I'm beautiful."

Yusuke blanched. Kurama nearly fell off the chair, laughing in earnest. "Jerk." Yusuke muttered as a grin broke over his face.

:-:-:-:-:

The days that followed fell into a relatively easy pattern. The groups of warriors took different shifts so that the fortress was never unprotected and everyone was able to take frequent rests. Yusuke and his three companions typically chose the night shift. Mukuro normally preferred the shift that began at dawn. And so, on it went. There was, however, something almost tangible that crept into the air, slowly, day by day. Hiei finally took in upon himself to have a talk he felt was much over-due. He wasn't exactly sure what he needed to say, but he knew he needed to say something.

Hiei found the one who he had been looking for gazing out over the land, eyes glittering, expression taunt. This was the first night in several that they hadn't taken a fighting shift. It was suddenly quite clear why they chose that shift. If they weren't fighting, the darkness seemed almost too overwhelming to bare. "Can you feel it?" she whispered, long after he had stopped nearby. He wasn't sure if she was speaking to him or not.

"What would that be?"

Slowly, golden eyes flickered to meet crimson ones. "There's something out there. Something sinister." She fell silent once more, turning back to the dark horizon line.

Hiei pondered this comment for a moment, debating whether or not to make a snide comment. This was a war, of course there are sinister things lurking out there. Finally deciding he wanted to hear what she thought was so evil it was worth mentioning, he said, "Like what?"

"Hmm?" Aurora seemed oddly distracted and didn't look at him.

"What should I be feeling? What sinister thing were you speaking of?"

She heaved a sigh, thinking. "The king is going to die." Her tone could have been mistaken as a question.

Hiei's eyes snapped to look at her, "What?" he asked sharply.

She raised an eyebrow, "You saw this, did you not?"

Hiei calmed a bit at that statement. Yes, he had seen it. So maybe it had just been a question. He turned his thoughts back to why he was here. If he didn't loathe the thought so thoroughly, he might have decided he owed her an apology. Well, that wasn't completely true. He knew he owed her an apology. He just couldn't bare to consider actually doing it. Trying to conclude what he should say instead, he studied her.

Tonight, she was wearing a frosty, light green dress. It was shorter in the front and ran long behind her, much like a wedding dress train. Her long silver hair was tied up in an elaborate bun high on her neck. Around her slender throat was a necklace made of white stones, fanning over her delicate-looking collar bone. Something about it struck a cord somewhere in the fire demon's mind. He felt for some reason he should recognize it.

"Where did you get that?" he blurted before he even considered it. Foolish.

She seemed genuinely unsure what he was taking about and murmured, "May I inquire what you are speaking of?"

Hiei gave it one second-thought before he nodded towards her neck, "That necklace."

"Oh."

He waited. When it was quite apparent she wasn't going to speak any further, he prodded, "That isn't an answer."

"I know that. Did you honestly want one?"

"I wouldn't have asked otherwise."

She chuckled softly. "You realize I won't warn you again about the tender ground you are treading on now." Lifting one hand, she eased the clasp, allowing it to fall into her other awaiting hand. Hiei watched it carefully as it dangled in his line of vision. His perfect memory was suddenly not. Sparks, though faint, scattered everywhere in his mind. He was absolutely certain he had seen it before. But where? "Do you recognize it now, Fire Child?"

He shook his head, everything else was momentarily forgotten as he fumbled to find the memory he so desperately sought. Another voice whispered through the dark, "That, Hiei, was thieved by an old partner of mine."

Aurora's pale caramel irises narrowed briefly as they met their twin's. The look evaporated instantly, almost as though she had been expecting someone else. She remained silent as a reminiscent smile tilted her lips. Finally, it clicked; Hiei remembered now. "Kuronue," he murmured.

At the mention of the name, Yoko smiled similarly to his sister's, eyes suddenly far away, in a place of long ago. "It was one of the few things he stole with no intention of keeping for himself or selling. He knew someone who would love to have it. He wanted to show her... how he felt." Two pairs of golden eyes glistened with something which looked alarmingly like unshed tears to Hiei. Vaguely, he realized why the memory had escaped him so thoroughly before Kurama said it. It wasn't his own memory; it was one he only knew was there because he and Kurama were linked.

The moment stretched out, silence reining between them. Hiei missed the first few tears, but a sharp intake of breath caused him to look up. Yoko moved without a sound to embrace his sister. It was she who was crying. "It's my fault," she whispered into her brother's shoulder as more tears fell. "All my fault."

"Hush now," Kurama replied, with equal quiet and careful gentleness. "You know that isn't true."

"He has Kuronue's eyes, brother. For a moment, I..."

"Shh, it's alright."

Hiei suddenly caught the meaning of her words. "Yusuke?" he demanded. "Is that why you tried to sink your teeth into him? Because he reminds you of a dead man?" He regretted the sharpness of his words at the look Kurama gave him.

Aurora wasn't angry, however. She nodded to Hiei. "Yes. Sometimes, if I focus on only his eyes and the tone of his voice, I can almost see..." Her went glassy for a moment, "Sometimes, I forget for a moment." Tears continued to fall, unhindered. Coming back to herself, she met his hard crimson gaze unflinching and whispered, "I loved him, Hiei."

Hiei, for once, truly had nothing to say to that. He could see the truth in her eyes, hear it in her voice, feel it in her aura. Kurama watched him carefully, intending to cut off any rude remark that might be coming. None did. In that short moment in time, Hiei had witnessed something he was quite sure the female fox he had taken such a disliking to, would have preferred he hadn't seen. But it had been real. The first sign of any emotion of any kind from her. Though he'd rather die than admit it, he suddenly felt almost guilty for the things he'd said about her to Kurama and the way he'd acted toward her. Almost.

The necklace was clenched in one hand, the shoulder of Kurama's tunic fisted in the other. The white beads glittered in the moon light, sparkling gently. It caused a memory to be kicked up in front of their eyes for a moment, Kurama and Aurora remembering firsthand, Hiei through their link.

Yoko Kurama smirked at his partner as he was asked, "You think she'll like it?"

The fox nodded, "I've no doubt. Most particularly because it's from you."

Chocolate eyes danced with excitement as their owner tucked the treasure away in a hidden pocket. "I'm going to give it to her tonight."

"Are you going to ask her, as well?"

A nod, "That's why I got this. I thought it might..."

"Go nicely with the bite mark?"

Kuronue laughed. (Hiei nearly gasped out loud when he heard it... Yusuke really did sound like him.) "Don't be that way, Yoko. You know I... You know how I feel about her."

"Yes, I do. Tonight, we'll get to see if she feels the same way." Though it had been meant as a joke, it seemed to sober the dark-haired demon.

Upon returning to their camp, where Aurora had made a small campfire and dinner, Kuronue moved towards the beautiful fox who had her back turned to him. She was standing several yards from the fire. "You look stunning this evening, Rora."

She didn't turn, but he knew she was smiling gently. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders from behind and kissed her cheek. "Don't toy with me, Kuronue."

"Never," he breathed in her ear. He was delighted at the shiver this earned him.

She turned, eyes bright. He had been right about her smiling; she was. "Where's Yoko?"

"Busy. I gave him something to do. I wanted some private time with my favorite lady." In reality, unnoticed to the two, the wily fox watched from the line of trees behind them.

"Oh?" her tone was laughing.

He answered by tilting his head down, his lips meeting hers. As he broke away, he rested his hand against the side of her face, thumb gently stroking the top of her ear, fingers becoming lost in her hair. "I have to ask something, Aurora."

"I'm listening," she replied, slightly breathless.

"I love you... Mate with me?" Instead of speaking, she smiled and kissed him. This one was more passionate than the one they'd shared just moments ago as she threw her emotions into it. "I'll take that as a 'yes'," Kuronue murmured huskily when they finally broke apart. She nodded at him. "Tonight, then?" Another nod. This one earned a stunning smile from him as he pulled out the necklace he and Yoko had spent several months working to find and get their hands on. He looked thoroughly pleased at her expression and the soft gasp she gave as her eyes fell upon it. As he gently put it around her neck and closed the clasp, he whispered, "For you, my snow angel."

Kurama had his face turned away and Aurora was crying in earnest now. In the pale moonlight, Hiei could see what he had never paid any attention to before. With her hair pulled up, he could just make out in the moonlight the ghostly scar of a bite mark on her neck. "You were mated to him?" Hiei asked softly. Kurama nodded without looking. Aurora seemed to be still caught somewhere in a memory. Hiei doubted she had even really heard him. "Oh," he whispered so quietly, he believe he may not have even spoken aloud. He felt like an intruder now. He didn't want to see anymore... It wasn't his business. He had almost succeeded in slipping away when a voice called to him.

"Do you see now, Hiei?" she cried. "I loved him!" Her sobs had stopped, but he wasn't sure if the tears had yet. With speed he hadn't previously given her credit for, she moved to stand directly in front of him. "Do you know what that's like?" she hissed. "To see the man you loved so dearly so completely embodied in another." She raised her hand, almost as if she was going to strike him, but it froze in mid-air. Before it could move again, she breathed, "I'm not the evil, vile creature you take me to be." And with that, she whirled and disappeared into the shadows.

Hiei stared at Kurama, unsure of what to say. "I daresay you deserved that, Hiei," the kitsune said softly. "However, it was still rather unfair of her. You did not know before what you know now." He sighed, finally meeting Hiei's eyes. There were, indeed, tear tracks running down his pale face. "I think she might love Yusuke."

Hiei muttered, "Demon love is a rare thing."

Kurama nodded, but gave him a dark smirk, "And you wouldn't recognize it if it bit you."

Hiei shrugged; he supposed that maybe Kurama was right, but there was no way in hell he was going to tell the damn fox that.

:-:-:-:-:

Yusuke stared out the window, focusing hard on his link with Hiei. A swirl of emotions were fighting the weak control he had of them. He didn't want Hiei to feel the storm pressing against him. Lowering his eyes and moving to his bed, he did his best to block the link in his mind before he allowed the emotions to come forth.

"Because he reminds you of a dead man?" "Yes." Yusuke felt like an idiot. No, something worse than that. After seeing that memory, and having a strong feeling of what had happened not too long after it, made him feel... sick. Like he had just lost something very important. "I loved him!"

"I'm so fucking stupid," he hissed at no one. "Goddammit!" Resting his head in his hands, he closed his eyes and allowed the emotions to take him over.

:-:-:-:-:

Hiei could feel... something. It was muffled, almost impossible to decipher. Thoughts...? No. Emotions...? Maybe. No, not maybe; definitely. But who's? He glanced at Kurama walking beside him. Yusuke's, he decided. "Fox?" Kurama looked at him. "Where is the Detective?"

"In his room, last I saw him. Why?"

"I..." Hiei paused, trying to understand what he could only barely feel. Slowly, concentrating hard, he pieced it together. Then- Oh. "Kurama, I think... I think he saw the conversation that occurred moments ago."

The kitsune stopped walking, growing pale. "That may not be good."

"No," the fire demon agreed, also stopping. "Should we go talk to him?"

Kurama was quiet for a moment while he thought about that. Finally, he decided, "I think it might be best if I went alone." Hiei nodded. That was fine with him. Kurama parted ways with Hiei as he quickly moved down the hall to the toushin's room. He knocked upon approaching it. "Yusuke?" he called. There was no answer. "Yusuke?" he called louder.

Silence for a moment, then, "Go away."

"Yusuke, please, can I come in."

"No."

Kurama decided he was going to get out his lock picking tools shortly if Yusuke remained difficult. "Please." After a pause long enough to make Kurama begin pulling out his tools, he heard the lock on the other side of the door click. Soft footsteps moved back to the bed. Kurama thought maybe Yusuke had realized his entry was inevitable so he gave in. Steeling his resolve, the fox opened the thick wooden door.

"Yusuke," Kurama began quietly, watching the young man laying on the bed. "I don't think you understand what you just saw."

"Do I remind you of that guy, too?" Yusuke demanded suddenly.

Kurama seemed to think carefully about this. "In some ways, yes," he answered slowly. It seemed for a time that Kurama was not going to continue. After a long thought-filled silence, he said, "There is something you need to understand about yourself, Yusuke. Something you have always been apparently blind to. Hiei once told me in a way that perfectly sums it up. You are someone that rules break around. You made Hiei rethink everything he had ever thought about trust, made myself realize what it means to be human, made Kuwabara discover what a true friend should be, made Keiko understand that there are many different kinds of love, made Koenma learn the true definition of selflessness. You made us all see what loyalty and determination should really look like.

"People are... different when they're around you. Aurora is not an exception. You would do well to remember that she has never spent time with any human before now. She is a demon. You remember how Hiei acted when you first met him, and even sometimes now? It is because Makai is not like Ningenkai. Don't fool yourself, Yusuke. In order to admit she has anything but hostile feelings for you, she must have something to blame it on... Now, with that said, yes, in some ways, most of them good, you remind both Aurora and I of someone who was quite dear to us."

Kurama turned to leave Yusuke alone for a while, knowing he had gotten his point across. He paused momentarily in the door way, not looking back as he said, "That should not be taken as an insult either, Yusuke. In fact, that is probably the highest honor anyone alive now could receive from either of us." Yusuke watched him leave, thoughts swirling around him. Most of them weren't terrible thoughts, either.

:-:-:-:-:

When Kurama had gone to speak with Yusuke, Hiei returned outside. He stood in silence, watching what he could see of the battle a few miles from the fortress. He was soon distracted, however, by the suddenly frigid wind. It was rare for the Makai to experience such weather at this time of year. It was only October, after all. He was more interested in what started several minutes later. A flurry of snow began dumping down to the ground.

The frozen air smelled of sorrow. Hiei suddenly wasn't so surprised at all by the unseasonal weather. A mourning snow angel...