The Trial

Dani Wheeler-Kaiba

Wow, I didn't expect so much response from just the first chapter! Thanks guys, you rock!

So here is chapter 2…sorry it's delayed, and in my opinion not particularly good, but for me school started up again last week and I've had very limited writing hours.

I see blonde hair. MARIK! NOOO! IT CAN'T BE! TRAITOR!

Wait – the hair style's different. Oh, thank Ra. It's not Marik. That would've been horrifying. And Malik wouldn't have been very happy.

Holy CRAP! It's not Marik, it's –

"JOUNOUCHI!" I yell. Don't you glare at me, judge! I HAVE A RIGHT TO YELL!

JOU is with KAIBA?

What is happening to the world? When did this happen? Where was I? Didn't they hate each other?

Jou walks up the front. As he passes me, I glare at him, giving him the "You are so dead" look. Honestly…him and Kaiba…gah! Horrible mental images! I don't want to know!

He sits where Kaiba, his boyfriend, was before, up there next to the judge. All the people in the jury are looking at him with narrowed eyes, and I can tell they're thinking, "Ratty gay street punk. How did he get with Seto Kaiba? Kaiba had so much potential…if only he'd chosen a nice young lady instead, but now look what he's done."

Well, I can't really say I disagree with the whole, 'ratty gay street punk'. Technically it's true. But how exactly would Kaiba have been better off with a girl than with Jou? What's with these people and their stupid thoughts?

…

HOMOPHOBES! RABID HOMOPHOBES! Where's my list?

PEOPLE TO HUNT DOWN AND SEND TO THE SHADOW REALM

5. The jury. And all other homophobes.

And dim though he is, Jou can see how they're looking at him. If it was me, I'd be glaring right back at them, but he's just sitting there looking awkward. Gods he's submissive. Bet he's Kaiba's uke.

Mr. Lawyer still looks a little uncomfortable after questioning Kaiba, but he approaches Jou anyway. "What is your full name?" he asks nervously.

"Katsuya Jounouchi." Oh my Ra, he MUMBLED that. Don't tell me he's intimidated by the greasy lawyer!

"You are – in a physical relationship with Mr. Kaiba?"

Jou's entire face goes red. I guess that means he's not going to come up with some witty comeback like Kaiba would have done.

"Y-yes," he says quietly.

I guessed right.

Great. Now Greasy guy thinks that Jou's a pushover, and I can tell he's feeling a little braver. Now that he knows this guy's not like Kaiba in the least. I wish I was on the stand; I'd show this stupid lawyer a thing or two…preferably a very bloody thing or two.

"And you are, I gather, homosexual?"

No, he's straight. Kaiba's actually a woman.

"Yeah." What the hell does it matter?

"Has Mr. Bakura – " (I swear, if he calls me that one more time, he's asked his last stupid question.) " – ever shown any displays of homosexuality?"

Why? Is he interested in me? Too bad; I'm taken. Now what relevance does this have to the trial whatsoever?

"Not to me," Jou says quickly. Damn right, and I never will.

"But to others?"

"Well, yeah. He's gay too."

Everyone goes silent for a minute. I don't like it. "Anyone got a problem with that?" I say loudly.

No one, not even the evil judge doesn't move. Good. They all know I'll kill them if they say anything. I'd like to see them put me in jail if they're all DEAD!

Still silence. Okay, I'm getting bored. And when I get bored, the Shadow Realm makes its presence known.

"And – has he ever – " Greasy lawyer looks very awkward again. "Engaged in…sexual activities with anyone underage?" His face goes red as he says it. He is such a baby. I'll bet if I yelled out, "SEX!" right now, he'd run away screaming. He's probably never been laid in his life.

Jou frowns. "Not as far as I know." Oh thank Ra! Finally, someone speaks sense! "I don't reckon he'd ever – oh." Comprehension dawns on his face.

What? No! No 'oh'! THERE IS NO 'OH'!

"What?" asks the lawyer.

"I – I just realised," Jou says, still with the look of an idiot who'd just discovered the Earth was round. "He – kinda has. Yeah, he definitely has."

I. Hate. Him.

Why are these people torturing me like this! They're all conspiring against me to make me look like a paedophile! I AM NOT A GODDAMN PAEDOPHILE! I've never TOUCHED an underage kid! Who would I have possibly raped? Kaiba's brother? That's just wrong!

The lawyer saying this stuff, I can almost understand. It's his job to make me look evil. But Kaiba? And Jou? Pff. Actually, if they've shacked up, it doesn't surprise me that they said the same thing. But WHY?

I add Jou to my ever-growing Shadow Realm list.

Where's Ryou? HE knows I'm not a paedophile. He'll sort everything out. Is he here?

The bloody lawyer's happy that Jou's agreeing with him. I hate them both. "And you are the defendant's friend?"

"Yeah. Well – as much of a friend as possible."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing – just," Jou hesitates. "He's kinda…crazy. He's not big on the whole friendship thing."

Great. That's just fantastic. That dumb blonde just gave everyone a free pass to call me a crazy loner who rapes children.

I hate this trial! Greasy guy could at least focus on the crimes that I actually did, but instead he's going for the only one that's one hundred percent not true! If I didn't know better, I'd swear this whole case was just a big joke made to piss me off. Maybe if I run up the front and pull at the judge's hair, a mask will come off, to reveal…MARIK! Perhaps I should try it.

There are guards everywhere, though. Maybe later.

It's not safe to have Jou on the stand any more; he's far too stupid. He'd incriminate himself if someone asked him something and included the word, 'food,' in it. But Grease man is still at it.

"Do you have any knowledge of the defendant's other crimes?"

I have a name, you know. Still, I suppose this is better than that 'Mr. Bakura' crap.

"Sure, I guess. Bakura ain't exactly known for bein' secretive about them."

"What have you witnessed him doing?"

Jou frowns as he thinks. It must be hard work. "Well, I think everyone's seen him steal stuff…after all, he was a thief in Ancient Egypt. And he sends people to the Shadow Realm a lot."

I let out a loud groan. Yeah, Jounouchi, because everyone is sure to believe THAT! Why doesn't he just tell them I'm trying to steal a magic puzzle from the spirit of a three-thousand-year-old Pharaoh as well?

The lawyer looks confused. "And this…Shadow Realm, is this a metaphor for death?"

"Uh…no," Jou's expression matches Greasy guy's confusion. "The Shadow Realm is the Shadow Realm."

The people of the jury exchange worried glances. I think they think Jou's had a disturbed childhood or something.

"…Right."

I don't think Jou realises that everyone thinks he's weird now. He's completely clueless. Though I wouldn't expect anything more from someone who's getting laid by Kaiba.

"I think you can stand down now, Jounouchi."

Wow, that was fast. And boring too. Jou didn't do anything at all, except make an idiot of himself and make me sound even worse.

But what Jou does next surprises me: he doesn't leave the stand. Instead he says, "Mister Jounouchi."

Greasy guy raises an eyebrow. "I'm sorry?"

"You have ta call me Mister Jounouchi," Jou says. "If you call Seto, Mister Kaiba, then that makes me Mister Jounouchi."

Oh, Ra. He is pathetic.

"I think you and Mr. Kaiba are slightly different cases," Greasy guy snaps at him.

"Yeah? How so?"

Hmm. This might get interesting.

"He is the head of a multi-national corporation. You, on the other hand, are an eighteen-year-old school kid."

"So's he!"

"Mr. Kaiba is of a far higher social status!"

"And I'm going out with him!"

"Would you stand down, boy!"

"No!"

I have to say, this is rather entertaining. I didn't know shouting matches were allowed in court, but as long as they are...

"FIGHT!" I yell. "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" Random noise; I love it.

And no one tries to stop me. I think the judge is placing a bet with the jury over who's going to give up first, Greasy guy or Jou, so at the moment there's nothing stopping a full-scale riot happening. What better time to add a little extra chaos of my own?

So I focus all my energy into the Millennium Ring…and in a sudden flash of violet light, the judge disappears.

I take out my list of people to send to the Shadow Realm, and cross off number two.

Meanwhile, Jou and Greasy lawyer are still arguing.

"Call me Mister!"

"Stand down, boy!"

"Not until you call me Mister!"

Neither of them are going to budge an inch. I could be here for quite a while.

I wonder how long it'll be before they realise the judge is missing?

Oh my gods…can you say, 'uninspired'? Every single time I tried writing this chapter, I just felt so…unfunny. And it showed, I know. I'm so sorry. I blame school. Next chapter WILL be better, I guarantee. And it will be updated quicker. The slowness was school's fault too. Don't judge this chapter too harshly.

Stupid homophobes. They should die.

And I'm DEFINITELY NOT a Jou-basher, no matter how it may have come across! The only character I intend to bash is the stupid lawyer. I hate him.

Who do you think should be next to take the stand? Because I'm completely impartial to what order I should put everyone in, so you tell me!