A/N: A little important information about this fic: This takes place between A Very Glee Christmas and The Sue Sylvester Shuffle. Also, I have finally decided on the ending pairings. Do you guys wanna know or be surprised?

From where she was sitting at her desk, Brittany aimlessly humming while pulling Rachel's hair up into a ponytail, Rachel stared as the clock ticked 7:26 am. She knew her fathers, curious as to why she hadn't already come downstairs, Brittany in tow, were going to be knocking on the door to her bedroom soon.

…She was scared.

After spending forty five minutes with Brittany in the shower (something she'd rather not reflect on, thank you very much; though they'd already touched themselves while searching for tattoos, it was a completely different experience when hot water and body wash became involved) and changing into their bodies' respective outfits, they hadn't come any closer to figuring out why they had switched bodies. Nor how to get out of going to school. Because school? School had classes and Cheerios and glee and people who knew Rachel and Brittany. Knew how they did and did not act.

Like Brittany's boyfriend. Brittany's best friend. Rachel's… Ex-boyfriend (no, she wasn't going to think about that). Everyone in glee. Sue Sylvester! Rachel didn't know how she was going to fake Sue's routines! Even if Brittany gave her a crash course, she still hadn't quite gotten the hang of her height yet.

7:27 am.

Rachel groaned. The high ponytail was pulling at her scalp.

"There," Brittany swung Rachel around in the swivel chair so she could check her from the front, "Sue shouldn't hold you down and shave me."

Rachel stared at her – at herself – and dropped her head. "Brittany?" she murmured.

"Yes?"

"Remember what I told you?"

"That I couldn't flirt, have sexy fun times, hug, or even touch anyone." Brittany paused, her voice full of an unhappy pout. "Why can't I touch anyone?"

"Because!" Bracing her palm onto her desk, Rachel stood up. Ineffectively pulling down on the Cheerio skirt, she distracted herself by straightening the black bowtie on Brittany's shirt. Scanning the rest of her outfit, Rachel paused. "Brittany! The leg warmers aren't for your arms!"

Brittany stared at her. "But my arms are cold. And I don't like any of your jackets." Walking past Rachel, she studied herself in the full-length mirror next to the desk. "Your ass looks hot in these jeans. Why don't you ever wear them?"

"I…" Rachel blinked, then glanced at the clock. 7:29 am. Turning back to Brittany, she thought quickly. There wasn't a nice way to say that she'd practically shoved the jeans at the other girl when she'd found them because she was afraid what could possibly happen if she wore a skirt to school and forgot that she wasn't in a Cheerio's uniform. "That doesn't matter right now. We have to go downstairs. And take off the leg warmers!"

Brittany pouted at her, crossing her arms. "Do you have any hats?"

Talking with Brittany was being more difficult than Rachel anticipated. Especially about her fashion, and what Rachel would and would not wear. The other girl had seemed fascinated with Rachel's wardrobe, grabbing the strangest things and insulting many things Rachel loved. Now hats? "I think my fathers might have a baseball cap somewhere, but that's really not me, you know, and we're trying to keep you me – "

"Ew."

Rachel blinked. That wasn't very nice. "I am not ew! You're stuck in that body – my body, Brittany, and I would appreciate you not insulting – "

Brittany stared at her again, tilting Rachel's head, "I wasn't talking about you, Rachel. Baseball hats. Ew. How would one even fit on my head?" She paused. "Hey, how come baseball gloves are so big? Baseballs don't even have hands!"

Rachel almost started crying. No one would ever… Brittany… Her reputation! And what about scouts? Directors? If her big break came along!

A small hand slipped into hers, "Rachel? Are you okay?" right as knuckles rapped against the door. "Honey?" her dad's voice came through, muffled, "Breakfast's all set up in the kitchen, since I didn't see you getting any earlier. Brittany's welcome to it as well, of course."

Brittany smiled at Rachel, squeezing her hand.

Rachel stared back. Eyes wide and flicking towards the door, she mouthed, 'answer him'. When Brittany continued smiling aimlessly at her, she pulled back her hand to gesture at the door, then at herself. 'My dad! You… Me.'

"Oh! Yes. Uhm… Sure… Pop?"

"Dad!" Rachel harshly whispered.

"Dad! See you, Dad!" Brittany grinned widely, eyes sparkling. After Jonathon Berry offered a slow, "Alright, honey. When you're ready, just come down," she surged forward and hugged Rachel. "See!" she giggled, "I can so be you!"

Somehow they'd managed to avoid her fathers. Even though Brittany had immediately dove towards Rachel's daddy's bacon, Rachel had managed to whisk her away while scooping up two apples before the meat theft had been noticed. She'd then proceeded to lecture Brittany about being vegan and that Rachel would appreciate it if she continued that diet while in Rachel's body. Brittany had listened in silence, munching on her bacon and apple (sometimes at the same time, which made Rachel's stomach curdle), only to offer, when Rachel was all done, that Rachel couldn't be vegan because Brittany hadn't been one since she was fourteen, but don't worry, because even if she thought it personally stupid, she'd try to remember to eat all that boring food because Rachel wouldn't put out. She'd then smiled at Rachel, telling her that even if she loved Artie and he was her boyfriend, not Rachel's, Rachel could go ahead and sleep with him if she wanted to see what sex was like. He would just lie there, but that was fine, because she'd taught him how to be really good with his mouth and fingers, even if Santana was a million times better – oh, but Rachel wasn't supposed to tell him about Santana because he would get angry and angry sex with him was still pretty boring.

In the middle of her ramble, Rachel reached over and slapped Brittany's stereo system, immediately blasting whatever was the last thing playing because honestly, thinking about having sex with Artie was not something she wanted to do. This resulted in the two of them pulling into the McKinley High parking lot to the sounds of Lil Wayne. She was almost certain it had to be Santana's CD. Whosever's it was, at least it got Brittany to shut up.

Pulling into the parking spot marked as Cheerio Mallory Newsome's (because that was the one Brittany insisted was hers), Rachel shut off the stereo, then the car, ran her hands over her – Brittany's – face, and turned to Brittany, who was just finishing up her apple. "Okay, Brittany," she grabbed Brittany's backpack from the backseat, pulling out Brittany's notebook she'd pilfered earlier, "When you were messing up my carefully sorted closet, I took the liberty of writing down all of the rules I made for you. Please, keep these on your person and refer to them often. And, please, please, please." She took Brittany's hand, trying to ignore, again, the weirdness that was holding her own hand, "Talk as little as possible and don't answer any questions in class."

Brittany frowned. "But I don't answer questions in class anyway."

Rachel smiled manically. "Splendid. However, if you do get called on, defer the question onto someone else."

"Shave someone?" Brittany asked in alarm. "But I don't know where Sue keeps her razor!"

Taking a deep breath, Rachel shook her head and handed Brittany the list, watching carefully as she folded it and put it into her jeans pocket, "Defer. D-e-f-e-r. Not de-fur, d-e-f-u-r. Just say someone else should answer it."

Brittany sighed, dipping her head. "Why didn't you say that in the first place? Okay." Before Rachel could answer that question, she sat up, "Rachel, it'll be okay. I promise. After all." She unbuckled and opened the car door. Pulling Rachel's wheeled backpack out and sliding out the handle, she smiled widely at her, "What could be so hard about being you?"

A second later, a passing jock threw a slushie into her face.

Wincing, Rachel got out of the car herself. Closing the door and locking it, then doing the same with the passenger side door, she walked over to where Brittany looked like she was going to start crying. She gently took her arm, "C'mon, Britts, let's get you to the bathroom."

Brittany nodded, lower lip trembling as blue slushie dripped down her face. "This…"

Rachel nodded. "I know. It's cold and it stings. Welcome to the life of Rachel Berry. …And I told you to take off the leg warmers!"