Chapter 5
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?
...starting at the IHOP
How great was this day? Not only was Audrey back at work, so that he could leave the house
for his breakfast with Cameron without any hassle, but he was genuinely surprised that the rock
and roll loving youth minister surprised him with an imported from England Zero Gravity box
set.
"Cameron, this is so cool, man. You really didn't have to buy me this."
"I thought you could use the cheering up and it's to make up for my presence causing trouble
with your parents."
"Thanks. Wow! A two disc Devon Malone interview! You really didn't have to buy me this,
Cameron. I know how much it costs; even if it wasn't on sale."
"Well, I'm afraid after what I'm about to say, you may not want the gift." His tone shifted to a
quieter and serious level just as the waitress put Cameron's coffee and Drake's orange juice on
the table.
"What is it? You said wanted to talk to me about something."
"As a youth minister and a believer in the great unknown power it pains me to say this..."
Drake couldn't keep his mouth shut, "What's wrong? You can tell me."
"Your parents hate you...That is why I wanted to talk to you before I walked through your
front door and met them."
He opened up his portfolio to take out a hardcover book entitled Parents Who Hate Their
Children (When They Say They Don't) and handed it to Drake.
"Cameron, I don't think they hate me. We're just going through a rough patch right now. I
thought God loved everybody?"
"God does love everybody. Just after all the things you told me, maybe, I'm wrong; you know
them better than I. Of course, I want to be wrong, Drake. I want you to have kind and
wonderful parents."
Drake looked at the pictures in the center of the book.
"I couldn't imagine them actually hating me, Josh, or Megan. Although, they do favor her little
ass on a quite a number of occasions."
"That's where it starts. I've seen many of these cases in my ministry. I had to put it out there. I
hope I didn't offend you."
"No, not at all. Wait until you meet them at dinner. They might be a little rough with you at first,
but once they get to know you, they're going to think you're cool too—and maybe they'll get
off my back."
"I hope so," Cameron drank his coffee, "I really want them to like me. I hope the cook here
doesn't burn my Belgian waffles."
"That would be a bummer," Drake said getting lost in the cool Zero Gravity artwork on the
box.
Cameron folded his hands together. Yes. This is exactly how he wanted it to go. He truly
couldn't wait to meet these average sinning middle class know-it-all bores.
"This is an awesome gift, thanks again."
6:00 p.m.
Cameron parked his car a few blocks from the Parker-Nichols household. He wanted to get a
feel for this neighborhood.
All of the houses were different, yet alike. All of the hypocritical sinners thinking they were
above it all. They were "too important" and "too busy" to go to church. He knew these types.
He walked up to the front door and rang the bell. Megan answered the door.
"Hello, my child, are your parents home?"
She didn't know what it was, but there was something uncomfortable about the middle aged
man who brought a $50 bottle of wine for her parents.
And she wasn't a child.
And she certainly wasn't his.
"Yes. Come in."
"What's your name?"
"Megan…Mom!" She called out before heading to the kitchen.
Audrey came from downstairs and Cameron had her sized up in about three seconds. She was
wearing jeans. Jeans were fine with the kids, but the adults, were supposed to be adults,
especially when they had company over. Even if they were dark indigo and dressy, it didn't
mean they were appropriate. She was a modern woman or her interpretation about what a
modern woman actually was.
"I'm Cameron DePalma, it is so very nice to meet you." He extended his hand.
He was a believer in the old-fashioned, firm handshake.
"Same here." He knew her to be lying.
"I hope you will accept this gift of wine as a good-faith token." Cameron handed the bottle of
wine to Audrey
"Thank you. Why don't you have a seat on the sofa and help yourself to an appetizer, my
husband will be home shortly. He had to go to the store."
The appetizer was something from the Kraft and Pillsbury kitchens. He refrained from eating
things that were wrapped in half-moon shaped dough.
"Hey, Cameron," There was the face he wanted to see, "I was on the phone. I might have a
date tomorrow." Jenny Fletcher wanted to go out with him before she had to go to cheerleader
camp.
"I believe you will have a date tomorrow." He smiled
"Don't I know it? Because you know I'm not going to be reading the want ads." Drake tried to
say it loudly so Audrey would hear it.
"Ssh," Cameron put his hand on Drake's knee, "Don't wind her up."
"You're right. I cannot believe she didn't offer you a beverage, is iced-tea fine?"
"That's fine, Drake."
It was twenty minutes later when Cameron had the pleasure of meeting Walter Nichols. He was
the dorky weatherman on KDJY!
He looked like the kind of man who wanted to sit in his reclining chair all day and watch Golf
on TV while ignoring his responsibilities.
Cameron was indifferent to Josh, if he was the kind of leader that needed five hundred
members in his parish he'd be courting them all. He looked like a goody-two-shoes who
handed in his book reports in colored translucent folders.
Too bad Megan wasn't 18; he'd have snatched her up in a second.
"I hope you weren't offended by our concerns," Walter said as he cut the roast beef, "We just
want to meet any new friends of Drake."
"I can only imagine how stressful it is to be a parent. A lot of the kid's I help come from many
broken homes. It'll break your heart. I do think you could ease up on the job restrictions. Let
the boy find himself."
"You hear that?"
Drake smiled as he dug a tunnel in his mashed potatoes.
"I know you mean well, Cameron, but we're Drake's parents. We appreciate your advice, but
we know what is best for him."
Drake stood up, letting his anger rise up to the surface.
"Oh my GOD! MOM! DAD! I cannot believe you are doing this act in front of company! A
youth minister, no less! I was going to ask Cameron something later, but I'm going to ask him
now. Do you still have that Renter Wanted sign in the window? I know I don't have much
money now, but I promise I'll find a job—I have to get the FUCK out of here!"
"DRAKE," all three of the adults started to say except Cameron's tone was much more level
and less explosive.
"Cameron?" Drake pleaded
"Only if it's okay with your parents?"
He didn't want to play that card, but it was the only thing he could do at this point in time.
"I don't kn---" Walter started to say
"No. I cannot believe you! You can tell this new older friend that you are willing to work for
room and board, but for us we're the bad guys? I don't really think so, Drake! Okay, Mr. Hot
Shot," Audrey was playing right into Lord Cameron DePalma's tainted hands, "See how long
you are welcome there!"
"I can assure you that Drake will never overstay his welcome."
It was that moment that Drake realized Cameron was right about what he said at breakfast this
morning.
They did hate him. They didn't care.
When the chips were down, and even though he wanted to live with Cameron, they
theoretically sold him to the highest bidder.
"It'll only take me ten minutes to pack a bag."
"Drake! Wait up!" Josh followed him up the stairs.
"I wish we could've met under better circumstances, Audrey and Walter," They did the
customary be-polite handshake. "Thank you for the dinner. You had the best intentions. I'll
take care of Drake."
"Good luck to you on that!" Audrey stormed into the kitchen as Walter followed sheepishly
behind.
Megan sank deeper in the chair there was something about that man, the youth minister, which
gave her the creeps.
Cameron smiled on the inside.
The boy was part of his kingdom now.
"Let me help you with your suitcase." Cameron said when Drake came outside.
"I'm sooo sorry that you had to see that. You were right, Cameron, you were right!
They do hate me!"
Drake stopped walking; He wasn't sure if he should cry or not.
"It's okay to cry, Drake, if you want to."
"Maybe later."
"I know what will make you feel better…"
"A naked lady? Sorry, I shouldn't say that to a youth minister."
Cameron laughed.
"Before we head home, how about I stop into Starbuck's and get us some cappuccinos and
some muffins?"
"That sounds great. I can't believe you said yes—you could've said no, Cameron, but I
promise I'll get a job."
"You don't have to make any grand promises, Drake."
He used his remote control operated key ring to open the car door.
"Make sure you don't put something in my coffee." Drake said wryly
"What?" Cameron asked
"Like whiskey or bourbon. I feel like I could tie one on right now. Another thing that I probably
shouldn't be saying to a youth minister."
"I promise I won't put any liquor in your coffee." Cameron silently breathed a sigh of relief.
"Do you think you can get the blueberry muffins? Since we weren't able to eat the ones at the
Premiere?"
"Of course, Drake. Why don't you sit back and relax? The worst is now over. Just like I told
you it would be."
"You're awesome, Cameron, I wish more adults would be like you."
"Me too."
But then again there could only be one Jesus Christ.
"I'm afraid I have to be the bad guy again," Cameron said coming into his living room with a
manila folder.
He was pleased that Drake was calmer than he was before thanks to the relaxation aids he put
in his cappuccino.
"Cameron, you could never be bad!"
"Here are the facts and figures based on the four people, not counting myself, that already live
here. We pretty much live communal style. I might be an old hippie at heart who can't let the
days of Woodstock go. What time do your parents leave the house?"
"Dad usually does the morning weather tomorrow and Mom will be at her job."
"If you don't want to do this, Drake, that's fine. No hard feelings. I never wanted to be that
hypocritical adult."
"What do you need, Cameron?"
"Money. Yes, you will be working for me, but, I still have bills to pay around here. As I said
we live communal style and put the money in one big pot. You'll get a special ATM card from
my bank. How much do you have in your bank account?" Cameron had facts and figures, but
they weren't real facts and figures. Same with the promise of a special ATM card.
"Only $500 but you are welcome to it."
"Good. We'll go to the bank tomorrow. Do you have anything you can sell?"
"You aren't going to kick me out like my parents?"
"No, I'd never do such a thing."
"I can get you more money if you need it."
"May I ask where?"
"I can pawn my guitars. After what you did to for me, Cameron, I feel like I owe you the
world."
"That won't be necessary, Drake. Why don't you go upstairs to the room you slept in before?
If you need to take a shower you can use mine again."
Thankfully, the young boy didn't question where everybody was. The mind control process
was nowhere near completion yet and he didn't want Drake to see anything that would make
him flee.
That would ruin everything.
That would make Jesus start armageddon early.
They were all in their locked bedrooms sleeping waiting for the morning commands and the
daily dosages of their "vitamins".
Drake slowly got up from the sofa, "I really want to thank you, Cameron, for all you've done
for me. I cannot thank you enough. "
"You're home now."
Drake took his suitcase and walked up the stairs, "Goodnight, Cameron."
"Goodnight, Drake, have pleasant dreams."